WCW Monday Nitro 6/3/96
Last week, Razor Ramon came in from the crowd and declared war on WCW. What will happen this week? Well, we will get Steiners vs Lex/Sting for the titles. We'll also see Arn/Flair vs Rock n Roll Express.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene gets some some sound bites with The Shark. He's no longer a shark. He's not a fish. He's not an avalanche. He's a MAN.
John Tenta vs Big Bubber
Bubber still has the hair from last week, which is now all over the ring. Quake hasn't shaved the other half of his head to remind him of the embarrassment. LOL Tony mentions that a USA Today ad listed Johnny B. Badd and Vader as being on the show, but they no longer play where the big boys play (said in the most condescending way imaginable). The fuck, Vader hasn't been in the company since last SEPTEMBER. Quake gets the scissors. Bubber won't get back in the ring, so he's counted out.
High Voltage vs Faces of Fear
I have a feeling someone is about to get booted in the face. At this point, the team was Ruckus and Chaos, instead of Rage and Chaos. Robbie Ruckus does sound kind of cooler, though. Larry says that the FoF are one generation removed from being cannibals. Huge powerbomb from Barb. Dropkick from Meng. That top rope belly to belly is BONKERS. Double diving headbutt. Meng wins with a super kick. Complete domination. Everything you want out of a FoF match. The only thing missing was a Barb big boot.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene is in the back with Sting and Lex. Both guys have singles matches at GAB. Some good promo work from Lex in this. As he's talking, the Steiners interrupt, with Rick taking offense to Lex breaking up a suplex on the floor. Sting says he would save Lex in the same situation. "I'm gonna jack you in the ring if you get me hot!" Scott's back is so wide that you can't see Rick when he stands in front of him. It turns into a shoving contest. Gene screams that he'll never interview these people again if they keep this shit up.
Random Hulk Hogan video. Not even a hype video, but more of an interstitial.
Disco Inferno vs Sgt. Craig Pittman
Disco tries an arm drag, which doesn't work out for him. There has been a serious lack of Disco lately. Oh shit, Karelin lift into a powerbomb. Disco punches a black dude's head, which we all know is a terrible idea in pro wrestling. Pittman hits a headbutt to the gut. Disco submits before the Code Red can even be locked on so he can keep his dance moves.
Steven Regal vs Jim DOOGUN
Right before the break we saw a short clip of Regal bitch slapping Sting HARD I assume from Saturday Night. Fucking Duggan. There have been a lot of rumors that Brain will be managing Arn and Flair at the GAB. Hopefully we'll find out more about that later tonight. I think it goes without saying that this isn't very good, but Regal is wonderful with his stooging and facial reactions. Earl Bob of Eaton distracts the ref. Duggan hits the 3 point stance. Duggan, completely unprovoked, decides he's going to hit Regal with his board while Regal is down and out. What the fuck? Squire Taylor steals the board, so Duggan tapes his fist to cheat again. He decks Eaton and Regal gets a roll up for the win. What a cheating asshole. Duggan HITS HIS FINISHER and decides he's going to hit Regal with the 2x4 because the ref is distracted. Then decides to cheat in a different way.
TO THE MEAN BLOODY GENE. Gene is in the ring with the entire Blue Blood stable. Regal was fined heavily for slapping Sting. He paid it in double, so now he's in credit. We're shown the bitch slap, which happened on The Main Event. He wants Sting at his best at the GAB.
Recap for Benoit/Sullivan. Weeks of Benoit taking issue with Arn for having a partnership with Sullivan. Even TMF won't step to Benoit. At the GAB, we got us a falls count anywhere match, Maggle.
Kevin Sullivan vs TAFKATAFKAPI
The poor Prince gets crushed.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene speaks with Sullivan and Jimmy in the ring. Jimmy doesn't want to be bonded with the Horsemen. God damn it, Sullivan brings up Hulkamania. Shit. No. Don't let that shit start back up. He also brings up Pillman being a quitter, and talks about knowing serpents. I guess Benoit is a snake in the grass. He wants to get rid of Benoit..so he can get rid of Hogan. What? I guess somehow Benoit is going to cause the Horsemen to not be strong allies with Sullivan or something.
Rock N Roll Express vs Arn Anderson/Ric Flair
Holy shit, the RNR looked old as fuck in 1996. And they're still doing indies in 2014. Flair and Arn are wearing Greene and Mongo jerseys. Arn and Morton begin.
HOUR TWO BALLYHOO
Tony's excitement is wonderful. I can't imagine Cole or JBL being that excited at anything. I don't know what the point of pyro for hour two is, but whatever. This is JCP as shit and the fans seem 100% on the side of the Horsemen. The yaks are at the VIP table. This is definitely worked like a match from 1987. That's not an insult like when I say DDP wrestles like a heel from 1985. Double figure fours! What I mean is that this would be right at home from GAB 1987. Flair bumps 3 times for Randy Anderson. TMF is being mean as fuck to Ricky. Heenan leaves the broadcast table to come to ringside. He says some things to Liz and Woman and then comes back. Hot tag to Gibson. Sadly during this time we get Eric Bischoff doing solo commentary, because Brain actually went to the VIP table instead of back to the booth. Joey Styles Eric isn't. And Joey Styles isn't that good, either. Woman rakes Gibson's eyes. Arn hits the DDT. Flair gets the win. Very much a throw back match in the best possible way. Fun stuff.
TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. Arn was too big for Mongo's jersey. His 10 year old son could barely fit into Mongo's jersey. Brain also gets involved with the promo. He announces that he will not be managing Arn and Flair. He then opens up a briefcase. He pulls out a plaque of an All Madden award from 1988, where he for some reason was on the back of it. He won't manage at the GAB, but he will COACH!
Another Hogan interstitial.
GLACIER HYPE PROMO.
Fuck, another Hogan video. This is making me nervous. Things have been going so well without him. An awful lot of clips of him beating the shit out of Giant. It looks like his motorcycle helmet is the war bonnet from the Bad News Brown feud, though. That's kind of cool.
Ice Train vs The Giant WCW Championship
SMOOV ain't intimidated at all. But he turns his back on the Giant. He turns around right into a chokeslam. Title retained. One move. Scott Norton comes out and wants a fight. Giant chokeslams him twice.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Giant is pissed at video packages of Hogan being ran on TV when he's the god damn champion. It's a valid complaint.
Scott Norton vs Hugh Morrus
Norton was still down in the ring being attended to when Hugh hit the ring. Eric thinks Norton might be having a seizure in the ring right now. Hugh goes up for the moonsault. Norton stands up and tries to catch him. He doesn't, but he also doesn't really budge from a 300 pound dude moonsaulting into him. He then pounds on Hugh 3 times and pins him for the win.
TO THE POWERPLANT. We get to see Mongo and Kevin Greene training in a ring, going over strategy. With Slim Jim product placement. They need a coach. THE MACHO MAN SHOULD BE THEIR COACH!
Steiner Brothers vs Sting/Lex Luger WCW Tag Team Championships
Rematch from Superbrawl 1, which was a fucking rad match. Macho calls in to talk to Brain. You see, there is nothing said about Macho being a coach on TV. Why this needs to be split screen is beyond me. Scott is throwing Sting all around and it is on a tiny little screen with no talk from the announcers. Sting is firing back, but in split screen. Finally they cut back to the match full screen. And then right back to split screen. Tiger bomb on Lex. Rick throws a belly to belly as we go to break. He's still in control after the break. Super belly to belly. Top rope bulldog. Scorpion Death Lock on Rick. Scott breaks it. Super Frankensteiner! Scorpion Death Drop! Hot tag to Lex. He gets Scott in the torture rack briefly. Lex goes for a suplex on the floor. Rick breaks it up with a kick. A nice call back to last week. All four men brawl in the ring for a bit. Sting and Rick eventually head to the floor. Giant comes out and chokeslams Rick on the floor. It looked like SHIT. He low bridges Scott and goes after Lex. Lex dodges a chokeslam and fights Giant off. Sting and Scott join in. 3 on 1. Giant is knocked from the ring. Obviously, the match was thrown out.
As the show is being wrapped up, Scott Hall returns. "Just relax, chico." "You started it. We gonna finish it." As Hall gives Bischoff some shit, Sting heads up to the booth. OH SHIT Sting drops a Welcome to the Jungle refernce! That's because Sting is DOPE. He challenges Hall to a fight right now. Sting gets a toothpick to the face. Hall gets a slap to the face. Police immediately separate them. Hall says he has a BIG surprise for Sting next week.
A much more exciting show from last week. Arn/Flair vs RNR was a great JCP tribute. Steiners vs Lex/Sting was a fun TV version of their Superbrawl match that would have been better without the split screen shit. Even Disco/Pittman was fun. Hall says he has a big surprise. I wonder what he meant by that. The war is on, friends. The war is on.