WCW Monday Nitro 2/12/96

Drives me BONKERS that all the Nitros are off by a day and mislabeled by number on the Network.  Fuck.  George Steinbrenner will be on hand tonight.  Everything stayed the same last night except for Ric Flair winning the title back with help from a Liz heel turn.

We're shown highlights of the strap match, but it was more about Flair getting the DoD/Horsemen feud stopped for the moment at least.  Then we're shown both cage matches and Hulk running off the entire DoD by himself.


Hugh Morrus vs Randy Savage

Christ, Macho/Flair 90 is signed for next week.  Macho is very serious tonight.  No hat.  No jacket.  No hot dogging.  The whole DoD is dead to me since Hulk can beat them all up by himself.  That Macho is getting beaten up by the lowest ranked member says all you need to know about the difference between Hulk and Macho.  They talk about the Baywatch episode where the Flair/Hogan/Macho/Sullivan thing picked up again.  Which was filmed at the time of BATB 1995.  The episode is going to finally air in February of 1996.  Hugh misses the moonsault.  Macho hits the elbow.  Then another for the win. 

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Gene speaks with Steve Grissom, the WCW race car driver.

Scotty Riggs vs Loch Ness

Mongo thinks the Loch Ness monster is from England.  Loch Ness is UK wrestling legend Gian Haystacks.  In his first move, he botches caching Riggs and falls on him. Then he wins with two elbow drops.  He also can't get up on his own and has to roll to the ropes just to get to his feet.  I'm sure it made a ton of sense to bring in a 50 year old, nearly 700 pound guy who was a local UK star, but completely unknown in the US just so Hogan could have another guy to beat.

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TO THE MEAN GENE.  Woman and Liz wheel out a gurney.  Macho said someone would leave on a gurney last night.  It took all night, but Ric Flair is a man of his word.  I believe the implication is that Flair fucked both of them all night until he had to be put on a gurney.  Liz cuts a scathing promo on Macho.  And she forgets her promo half way through.  The point was she took half of all of his stuff and all of his title.

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Devon Storm vs Konnan WCW US Championship

Oh, Crowbar.  With your Rockers's rip off gear and orange mullet.  And then Konnan comes out.  Fucking LOL at trying to make 180 pound Crowbar a Sabu replacement.  When he came out, Eric said he was a suicidal kind of wrestler and seconds in he's doing Sabu spots with chairs and steps.  You can watch Konnan not at all try to catch Crowbar on a dive.  You can watch Crowbar risk his life by letting Konnan powerbomb him on the floor.  Konnan is so shitty.  He can barely do the most basic of lucha 101 spots.  He can't do anything in the American style.  Konnan gets zero reaction in every match I've seen of his so far.  No one likes him.  Because he's terrible.  Eric has to apologize for making a joke about WWF cutting the power on Nitro last week.  Why is this match so long?  Crowbar goes for a super frankensteiner.  Konnan turns it into a powerbomb and rolls through so far that Crowbar rolls over and had to put himself back into a pinning position.

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Arn Anderson vs Hulk Hogan

Hulk has his eye bandaged again.  I don't know why he bothered since it didn't hurt his wrestling skills the night before even after it was torn off.  Nothing is saving this show.  Arn could have squashed Hulk in 20 seconds and this show would still be really bad.  I hate when Hogan cheats before the heel does.  Which is every Hogan match.  He ALWAYS is the first to cheat.  The face announcer always says something like, "He's fighting fire with fire!", but that doesn't make sense when Hulk is the first one to cheat.  Arn tries a piledriver on the floor and gets slingshot into the ring post.  Hulk takes the bandage off on his own.  Brain goes ALL IN on how shitty Hulk is, how much lenience he gets, how he's been doing this shit his whole career and everyone has been afraid to say no to him.  SICK OF HULK.  Me too, Bobby.  Me too.  Hulk of course dominates.  And his offense started with eye rakes and throat chops.  He also used wrist tape to choke Arn, used the ring posts multiple times.  Arn hasn't done any cheating in this match.  Flair and Liz come to the ring.  "We got enough heels at ringside to start a shoe company."  Spinebuster!  Never hit your finisher on Hulk.  Never ever.  Always hit your secondary or try a new move.  Hulk tries to strut.  Instead of dropping the leg, he puts Arn in the figure four.  Ric jumps in and he gives Ric a small package while keeping the figure four on, so he's defeated Arn and Ric AT THE SAME TIME!  Woman throws powder in Hulk's face.  Liz gives Arn her boot.  Arn uses the boot and pins Hulk Hogan!  Too bad Hulk sits up seconds later and knocks the shit out of Arn and Flair.  Macho came out as well.  Hulk Irish whips Flair into Macho, who was holding a chair.  

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The heels take over the announce booth again.  "Hogan, you just got your ass kicked again!"  Hulk and macho sneak up behind.  They leave.  Macho and Hulk bully Heenan, with Macho stealing his glasses and chasing him off.  

TO THE MEAN BROTHERJACKDUDE.  Gene gets his words at the announce booth.  Hogan wants a rematch with Arn.  I think Hulk implied that Liz made the wrong choice because Macho has a huge dick.  "No Mr. Nice Guy around Nitro."

 

 

God this show sucked.  Sure, Arn pinned Hogan.  But during the match, Hulk dominated him, at one point had Arn giving up while pinning Ric, and then he beat the shit out of both of them right after the bell rang.  The night after he beat Giant decisively and then beat up the entire Dungeon of Doom single handedly.  There was nothing worth watching here.  Liz fucks up her big promo.  Konnan fucks up everything.  Loch Ness fucks up his first move.  Hulk no sells everything.  Hulk in the WORST.  Holy shit is he the most annoying character.  And he was worried about turning heel?  He had been a heel his entire time in WCW.

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