WCW Uncensored 3/15/98

Let’s do this shit. 

Booker T vs Eddie Guerrero WCW TV Championship

Awwww shucky ducky! Chavo is now with Eddie. Eddie makes him hold the ropes open for him. Eddie spends the first few minutes doing some Zbyszzzzzzko level stalling. Book hits a big back drop and side slam. Bigger clothesline. And another that sends Eddie to the floor. Eddie gets back in the ring and gets kicked in the dome. Eddie has had no offense, so he bails to the floor. Body slam on the floor. Press slam. WIT DA GREATEST OF EASE! He goes up top for the missile dropkick, but Eddie intercepts and hits a superplex. Booker gets back in control until the ax kick is countered with a dropkick to the knee. WUT DA HALE? Eddie continues to work over the leg for a while. Booker tries to roll to the floor, but Eddie hits some weird cross body/diving headbutt to the knee. I think he just slipped off the ropes. Book hits a flapjack (Norton) and ax kick. 110th Street Slam. Eddie goes for a rana, but is shoved off. He rolls through only to get drilled with the missile dropkick. Dat Booker T GOT CAUGHT UP IN DA LIGHTS RIGHT DERE!. Booker retains. Chavo did nothing to help and seemed to enjoy his uncle losing. Eddie attacks him. Oh my GOODNESS. 

Konnan vs Juventud Guerrera

Bleh. Juvi jump starts the match, but it is still a Konnan match. I get really annoyed that sometimes Tenay corrects people when they say Konnan is from Mexico, but sometimes he doesn’t. Air Juvi off the steps on the floor. Fuck this. Juvi wins with a roll up OUTTA NOWHERE. 

TO THE MEAN GENE.   Gene talks with JJ. But this show is supposed to be uncensored. Get the boss out of here. The powerbomb is being made legal tonight!

Dean Malenko vs Chris Jericho WCW Cruiserweight Championship

Jericho’s tights have 1004 on the back and Juvi’s masks on the sides. Starts off with some chain wrasslin. Dean is giving a wrestling lesson.  All until he gets caught in an enzuigiri. Jericho misses his springboard drop kick and crashes to the floor. He decides to get the fuck out of this shit and heads up to the ramp. He eventually comes back. They collide in the air and end up in a spin buster. Jericho then debuts his wacky strut that you no doubt recall as his down taunt from Revenge. Jericho is getting cocky and the fans are on him. Snap suplex and a Lionsault, but Dean’s foot was on the ropes. A LOUD chop in the corner wakes him up and he goes on a brief flurry of elbows and headbutts, but it dies back down. Chris thinks slapping a dude called the Ice Man is a good idea. Dean starts getting fired up, but can’t get on a roll. Reverse suplex from Jericho. Dean hits a series of roll ups. Jericho slips attempting his springboard drop kick, but does manage to still hit Dean with a punch in the face on the way down. Super rana is reversed into the super gut buster! Dean goes for the leg lariat and is caught directly into the Liontamer. He’s forced to tap out. Jericho retains. Gene walks to the ring, right past Jericho, to talk with Dean. 

TO THE MEAN GENE. Dean is pretty upset, especially for him. Gene says everyone thought Dean was going to win. “Dean Malenko, this is a match that YOU SHOULD HAVE WON tonight, and you didn’t!” “Dean Malenko, you are 0 for 4 in WCW mega events!” “Now you are a bonafide LOSER!” Jesus, Gene. You’re being a fucking asshole right now. Dean says he’s going home. 

Scott Steiner vs Lex Luger

Lex takes a lap around the ring for some reason. You know what my most vivid memory of Lex Luger is? Him drinking a glass of milk VIA SATELLITE at WM8. Scott puts the Recliner on with Lex completely out of the ring from the waist down and the ref doesn’t even notice. HALF OF HIS BODY was out of the ring. Scott brings a chair out. The crowd starts barking because Rick came out. Scott gets in the ring and turns around into a steel forearm. Lex wins. OH MAH GOODNESS. Scott and Rick had a stare down. Scott got back dropped out of the ring. 

Chris Benoit vs Raven vs DDP WCW US Championship

It will probably be easier just to do gifs for this. DDP wins after an avalanche Kanyon Cutter on a table. It’s a shame it looked like shit, because the match was boss. I really enjoyed this feud as a kid and I’m very pleased to see that it holds up.

Kevin Nash vs The Giant

DAT’S MY BIG HOMIE, KEVIN NASH! They lock up and Nash tries to goof off. Giant puts him on his ass. Two big elbow drops. Nash is knocked to the floor. Giant gets rammed into the ring post and that gives Nash the chance to work over Giant’s neck. Giant is still wearing a neck brace even to wrestle. It gets pulled off. Giant goes for a powerbomb when Crush hits the ring with a bat. The rest of the B team also beat on Giant. He snaps the bat over his knee and chokeslams everyone. Konnan takes the worst chokeslam you've ever seen. Virgil shouldn’t be out bumping you. He goes to powerbomb Crush, only to have Nash break a bat over his head/shoulder. Nash attempts a powerbomb and bails when Giant starts getting up. 

Bret Hart vs Curt Hennig

I think it is a real waste to have Bret in WCW for 4 months now and he’s only had interactions and matches with old WWF guys. But I’m still excited for Bret vs Perfect. A lot of headlock take downs in the opening minutes. Curt told Bobby that if his dad beat Stu Hart one more time, he’d get to keep him. Lol. Sharpshooter is locked on in about 4 minutes, but Rude broke up it. Curt takes this opportunity to work over the leg. Rude keeps sneaking in shots. This is like Summerslam 1991, but a 3/4 speed. Figure four from Perfect. This leg segment feels like it goes on forever. And the crowd is pretty dead. After all they’ve seen tonight, I don’t think they were really that into a slow 80s style match with two guys going much slower than what they remembered from the last time they fought. Bret does a bulldog and then takes maybe the grossest sternum corner bump he ever did. Brutal. A slow-motion Pefect Plex only gets 2. Sunset flip is reversed into the Sharpshooter right in the middle of the ring. Curt taps out and Rude decides to get involved again. Rude Awakening! Curt and Rude stand over a beaten Bret Hart. No one comes to help Bret, even though they’re beating him up with a chair. Where are Anvil and Bulldog? Or anyone? 

Scott Hall vs Sting WCW Championship

Of course Hogan and Savage would get the main event over a title match. Why would your world champion be the main event? That’s just bad for business, brother. How is Sting friends with Hogan today? Both in kayfabe and real life. Some shoulder jamming and a chokeslam. Sting fires back with a face buster. Standing drop kick. I think Sting’s done more in 2 minutes than he did for the entirety of 3 matches with Hogan. Sting with the patented “fall face first into some guy’s balls” spot. Hall distracts the ref. Bionic elbow! Still wasn’t enough to put Sting away. Sting hulks up. Dusty is hit. The ref goes down. Dusty throws Hall an international object, but Sting kicks out. He calls for the Outsider’s Edge. It’s reversed into the Scorpion Death Drop. Sting is the champ! I don’t know why Tony is acting like Sting just won the title instead of retained it. 

Hollywood Hogan vs Randy Savage Steel Cage Match

Let’s see how crazy Savage gets. The lights got really dim for this for some reason. It took a bit for them to come back to normal. Of course, Hogan right away is in full control. Big boot! I can already tell this is going to be boring as shit. A whole lot of choking and whipping. Of course, they fight outside of the cage for some reason. Brutus Beefcake comes out and takes the ref out. Sting decends from the ceiling for back up. Then they all just literally stand around for 2 minutes. Savage decks Sting. SWERVE! WUT DA HALE?! Savage spits at Hogan and walks off. So, there really isn’t a finish to this cage match PPV main event? The finish was Savage walking off? WCW cages matches don’t have the escape rule. I guess Hogan wins a cage match via count out, maybe. 

First half of the show was pretty good.