WWE Survivor Series 2002
Spike Dudley/Bubba Ray Dudley/Jeff Hardy vs 3 Minute Warning/Rico
Brother Nero! Brother Ray! Brother Runt! Why would a Dudley and Hardy ever team up? I guess you could make a case for Spike/Jeff teaming, but not with Bubba. Jeff flies around with reckless abandon. Spike lands on his face a lot. Rosey spears a table and completely no sells it. Spike is the first to be eliminated with a double reverse Alabama Slam. Man, 3MW bump WAY too much for guys their size. Almost in a showy way, too. Like "look at how well we can bump for guys our size". Jeff relives his entrance swanton from Royal Rumble 2000. Then, he makes Rico look like an asshole by missing his cue to knock him off the ropes, so Rico had to stall for time standing on them. "COME ON JEFF, GOD DAMN IT!" Jeff's just having a bad night in general. Right after he slips off the guard rail and accidentally gets a table broken on his face, Umaga hits him with a splash through a table...to the floor. The match ends with D-Von returning to the Dudley family and putting Rico through a table with a 3D. Messy ass match, but some cool spots.
TO THE WORLD. Stacy introduces Saliva, who perform the Survivor Series theme song, "Always". They apparently continue to play a concert.
TO THE BACK. RVD stretches.
Jamie Noble vs Billy Kidman WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Are we going to overlook how much muscle Kidman put on a year into his WWE run? Seems...curious. Kidman tries to start hot, but gets hit with a neckbreaker that slows down the match. Once Kidman starts getting back into it, Nidia keeps getting involved. Jamie inadvertently knocks her off the apron. Kidman hits a super DDT in this. Well, it was kind of more of a super gourd buster. Jamie kicked out and planted Kidman with a hanging DDT. Kidman is one of the underrated DDT takers. SSP for the win. New champion!
TO THE BACK. Kurt Angle discusses the cruiserweight match, saying that if BILLY FREAKIN' KIDMAN can win a title, then Kurt and Benoit can definitely win the tag titles tonight. After arguing, Kurt gives Benoit a hug. Elsewhere, Chris Jericho gets ready for the Elimination Chamber.
F-VIEW: I sure don't recall this. Weird ass GTV redux. It catches Victoria talking to a mirror and freaking out that it told her Trish was prettier.
Trish Stratus vs Victoria WWE Women's Championship
So, Victoria is actually crazy. And has been jealous of Trish since their fitness model days. It probably is no coincidence that the first weapon Victoria uses is a broom. SHE'S A DAMN WITCH, BY GOD. Trish gets hit in the face. A lot. Fucking lol that they're making a big deal out of this being the first women's hardcore match, and how these women are real athletes, yet this involves brooms and ironing boards. Victoria wins with...a snap suplex. Weird. New champion.
TO THE BACK. Booker gets hyped up.
TO THE COACH. Coach tries to get some insight on the Elimination Chamber from Eric Bischoff. As he's talking, Big Show walks up behind him, saying Eric made a big mistake trading him to Smackdown.
TO THE BACK. Brock prepares and asks Paul if he's nervous. And Paul is. He's been begging Brock not to fuck with Big Show. Paul will do everything in his power to make sure that his client leaves MSG as champion.
Brock Lesnar vs Big Show WWE Championship
Brock's still injured from Hell In A Cell with Taker, and Big Show broke some of his ribs throwing him off the stage. Meanwhile, Show has an arm injury from Brock. Brock hits the ring and gets right up in Show's face. MSG is SUPER into Brock. It's just minutes in when Brock starts throwing out suplexes. Imagine a time when people were still amazed at Brock suplexing Big Show. There's a ref bump, so Paul throws a chair into the ring. Brock hits Show with it, then hits the F5. Paul pulls the ref out of the ring on the pin. WHAT DA HALE? Brock chases after Paul, but runs into chair shots to the ribs from Show. Chokeslam on a chair. New champion! Paul Heyman has screwed Brock Lesnar! "But why?" Good question, Michael.
TO THE BACK. Show and Heyman scurry off in their limo.
Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle vs Los Guerreros vs Rey Mysterio/Edge WWE Tag Team Championships
The Smackdown Six. Is it a coincidence that 4 of them are from WCW? 4 of the 6 are great. Then there is Edge and Chavo. Unsurprisingly, those two get the least reactions in the match, especially when they're in the ring together. Eddie and Rey have some hot sequences, as you'd imagine. Could you imagine that, 14 years later, two of these guys would be dead, one would be retired, and Kurt/Rey would be having matches at a casino with interference from Riff Raff? What a timeline. Rey slips on the ropes and lands on his damn head, so I'm sure that wasn't great. Man, Tazz and Cole are so bad when botches happen. As soon as a dude recovers, they'll spend the next few minutes pointing out how SMART the guy was for improvising or reacting to the other guy's botch. And they'll say it so many times that they just draw attention to the fuck up. They do it all the time, too. Benoit and Angle beat on Rey for a bit. These matches are always weird, because how do you have a real FIP when you have 3 different teams? After a lot of pretty silly reversals and double teams and double finishers, Kurt and Benoit start fighting, then Edge pins Benoit with a spear. Fans were not happy that Angle/Benoit were eliminated. At all. Once it comes down to a traditional tag, Eddie and Chavo have a ton of miscommunications, Eddie and Edge also have multiple miscommunications, and then Chavo hits Rey with the title. Eddie wins with the Lasso from El Passo. New champions! Considering the talent involved, this has to be considered pretty disappointing. Very sloppy, particularly Eddie and Rey, who were all over the place no matter who they were in the ring with.
TO THE BACK. Kane gets pumped.
Christopher Nowinski comes to the ring. What is he doing here? Well, he's here just to shit on the NYC crowd, JR. Then Matt Hardy comes out. Who the hell Chris think he is? New Yorkers are not stupid. They'd be classified as losers. Lol. These two take turns shitting on New York for a bit. "Where is this going, King?" "I don't know, but I wish it'd hurry up and get there." They go on and on and on. And then...SCOTT FUCKING STEINER! OUTTA NOWHERE! Scott beats the shit out of both of them, and the reaction is the loudest I've ever heard for either Steiner in any arena even in their prime. "GIVE ME A FUCKIN' MIC!" Classic Big Poppa Pump. HOLLAR IF YA HEAR ME. BUT WHOSE SHOW IS HE ON?!?!?!?!?!?!
TO THE TERRI. Terri catches up with HBK. Right as he starts to talk, there 's a breaking news from RNN. Randy Orton had no further injury to his shoulder on his long flight to New York thanks to the hot flight attendant who gave him an extra pillow. Lol.
TO THE COACH. Coach actually gets to speak to HHH with no interruption from Orton. HHH was chosen to be the WHC because he's the best, and he's beaten everyone in the past 3 months to prove that he's the best. And he'll do it again tonight.
RVD vs HHH vs Shawn Michaels vs Booker T vs Kane vs Chris Jericho World Heavyweight Championship
Imagine if you combined the Hell in a Cell with War Games, and made it a singles match. That's basically what the EC is. Before the match, Eric Bischoff comes out and explains the rules and dimensions of the EC. 4 of the men will be placed in pods, which will be unlocked after a certain time limit. The other 2 will start the match normally. The entire ring is surrounded by a chain cage, with the outside of the ring being made of metal grating and level with the ring mat. It's an elimination match (as if you couldn't tell by the name) and the last man standing is the winner.
Jericho gets played out by Saliva, from WWE The World. Weird. HHH and RVD start the match in the ring. Potentially, HHH could be eliminated in the first 5 minutes, thereby guaranteeing a new champion. HHH is busted open about 3 minutes in, and takes multiple bumps out on the steel grating. RVD does rolling thunder over the rope, which seems like it should be impressive, but he usually had more height than the top rope anyway. Jericho is the first to exit his pod, and he runs into the ring to immediately get kicked in the mouth. HHH and Jericho end up double teaming RVD for nearly the whole 5 minute period, despite their blood feud earlier in the year. You know, the one that ended up being about HHH/Stephanie's dog. Such is stupid ass pro wrestling, I suppose. Booker joins the fray next. You got Jericho breaking up pins/preventing pins (which makes no sense), then you have RVD doing a frog splash from the top of one of the chambers, somehow managing to land knee first on HHH's throat. Book hits RVD with a missile dropkick, which puts RVD away. The crowd was not happy. Jericho gets thrown though the BULLETPROOF, UNBREAKABLE POD wall, but eliminates Booker moments later. It's the first damn match and they're already killing the idea of the gimmick. This match is pretty plodding. It's clearly building to HBK coming in and going after HHH, but to get there, it's 25 minutes of filler to some degree. Kane chokeslams Jericho, HHH, and HBK, but then gets hit with a finisher rush of all three to bring it down to HHH vs HBK vs Y2J. All 3 are bleeding. Jericho and HHH double team HBK. I need to point out how fucking terrible HBK's gear looks. It's plain brown tights, with brown cowboy boots, and HBK in blue around the trunks area. It's clearly half finished. Then you add in his weirdly short hair cut, and he looks so strange. HBK superkicks Jericho while Jericho had HHH in the Walls of Jericho. HBK also goes through the UNBREAKABLE Plexiglas pod. Seems really silly to me to have that gimmick done twice in the first time they had this match, but I also think Kane interfering in the first HIAC having dudes leave the cage and interference killed the concept more than it put Kane over for breaking into it. HBK escapes a second pedigree to hit the super kick. New champion! Whatever. Shit was so boring. It's crazy that this was HBK's one and only world title reign for his entire 8 year come back.
Incredible roster WWE had in 2002, but this wasn't the greatest of shows. The EC by default was way long and had to have a lot of downtime in it just to get to the finish, plus to sell the brutality of the thing. The 3 way tag was a sloppy mess. Scott Steiner was over as fuck. Cruiserweights were fun. Brock throwing Show around was super impressive at the time when it hadn't been done 300 times.