WCW SuperBrawl III (1993)

Right off the bat, Bischoff and Missy inform us that Ron Simmons has a shoulder injury and can't get his US Championship shot at Dustin Rhodes. Maxx Payne will replace him. Missy is going to get a big interview tonight. They bring Johnny B. Badd in as their guest. Johnny runs down some of the card and rhymes.

Tony and Jesse are calling the action because JR is gone. Jesse's anniversary in WCW. Maxx Payne then plays the national anthem on guitar.

Hollywood Blonds vs Erik Watts/Marcus Bagwell

The Blonds have their unedited FUCKING DOPE music. Buff and Austin begin. Buff does some arm work to control Austin. Austin uses cheap shots to get back in control. Buff just clobbers him and sends him to the floor. Double back drop to Austin. Watts fights out of the Blonds corner. Pillman tags in and gets all up in his face. Watts fucking sucks. His dropkick is hilariously bad, he fucks up an arm drag, and then botches a wrist lock right after. 3 botches in a row. He's the Sin Cara of awkwardly shaped Oklahomans. Tags are made. Big cross body from Buff. Just keep Buff in the ring. At least he doesn't botch everything. Buff press slams Pillman. Bill Watts could put together a good show, but pushing his son in a period where WCW had some of the best people in the world was fucking ridiculous. Erik Watts should be a jobber on 1993 Raw. He's just a sack of shit. He has NOTHING to offer. He's got terrible skills, no charisma, and it isn't like he's a good looking young guy like Buff. The pads are back at ringside. The Blonds keep him in their half of the ring. I wish they had someone better to work with. Erik gets his knees up on a rocket launcher. He couldn't make the tag. He finally makes it. Buff hit the Perfect Plex on Pillman. Austin broke it up with a top rope diving elbow to the gut. Blonds win.

TO THE WHITE CASTLE. Briefly. Sting wonders what this is all about.

Back to Johnny and Bischoff. They announce that Ric Flair will be returning to WCW tonight.

TO THE HYATT. Missy is in the back as a white limo pulls up. She tries to get an interview with Flair. She's patted down by an officer and is never allowed to get near Flair. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!

Chris Benoit vs 2 Cold Scorpio

I don't know if it is an editing job or what, but Benoit has his well known WCW theme already. The first lock up has a clean break. The second does not. LOOOOOOOOL Jesse says he's picking Benoit because Benoit has more of a killer instinct. If there ever was something for WWE to edit out of commentary. Jesse also talks about the Hart Dungeon, which I'm sure his bosses didn't care for. Scorp fires back and kicks Benoit to the floor. Both guys trade wrist locks and get out of them as athletically as they can. Scorp continues the arm work. Japanese arm drag sends Benoit to the floor once again. Test of strength. Benoit bridges to get an advantage. They do a lucha "bridge with guy on you" test of strength thing. I'm not sure what the official name for that spot is, but they did it and Scorp hit a big dropkick and another arm drag afterwards. Benoit tries to rough it up, because he hates black people. It doesn't work out for him because Scorp hits a big superkick and goes back to the arm work. Scorp is sent hard into the top turnbuckle. Lariatooo. And another. I like how Benoit really has no idea how to heel and is just doing what he would have seen on TV as a kid. Suplex on the rope. Scorp tries to get back into it with a missile dropkick, but he missed. Spinebuster into Liontamer. Belly to back superplex from Benoit. He didn't tuck his own head enough and couldn't capitalize to make a pin. We're nearing the time limit. Powerbomb for 2. Enziguri from Scorp. Benoit dodges some spinkicks, so he hits a lariato instead. 360 Stinger Splash. Cartwheel Superfly Splash. I guess that's what it would be called. Benoit kicks out. Under a minute left. Second rope diving leg drop from Benoit. 2 count. 15 seconds left. Scorp wins with a roll up with one second left. This was good. Now that I think about it, this was probably the start of Benoit's hatred for black people. He probably hadn't been around to many black folk in Canada and Japan, so he comes to the states and loses with one second left to a black guy and never got over it.

Dustin Rhodes and MICHAEL FUCKING HAYES are on the WCW Superstar line with Gordon Solie.

TO THE BICHOFF. Eric speaks with Maxx Payne about filling in for Ron Simmons tonight. What's weird is that he sure seems to be a heel, but they had him open the show with the National Anthem to cheers. He then plays Taps.

Wild Bill Irwin vs Davey Boy Smith

The Bulldog's WCW debut. Now, the Bulldog and Warrior were both fired from the WWF in 1992 for getting shipments of HGH from England. So of course, WCW immediately signed him. Crisscross spot. The GOOOON holds on to the ropes and gets clotheslined over it. It should be a DQ, Schivaone! Press slam. Really a nothing match just to get Bulldog over with the new crowd. Running powerslam for the win. I think Jesse made a reference to JR being fired.

TO THE WHITE CASTLE. More brief glimpses of Sting heading to the White Castle of Fear.

Tony gets a word with the Bulldog at ringside. THE WCW. Fuck. He's there to be the world championship heavyweight championship of the world.

TO THE BADD HYATT. Missy isn't going to the UK and Johnny tells her to hush.

TO THE BISCHOFF. Eric speaks with Paul Orndorff on his falls count anywhere match with Cactus Jack when Jack comes after him with a snow shovel.

Cactus Jack vs Paul Orndorff Falls Count Anywhere

Cactus tries to hit Wonderful with the shovel all the way to the ring. Orndorff is using the TV cable to choke Cactus and throws him face first into the guard rail. I'm really not sure who is supposed to be the face here. You would think Cactus is the heel, but Orndorff ALWAYS seems like a dick head heel. Even when he was a face. Slam on the exposed concrete. Running Cactus elbow. As in from the floor. He then goes up to the second rope to do a sunset flip to the floor, just splatting all over the concrete. It finally heads into the ring. Wonderful hits a lariatoo with his baby arm. Cactus is sent flying back out to the floor, again just splatting everywhere. Cactus is thrown over two guard rails. Orndorff suplexes him across a standing guard rail. Then throws him again face first into it. He's being a real dick here. Back to the ring. Orndorff is pulling Jack's knee brace apart. Figure four. Is this supposed to be a double turn or something? Knee driver right into the concrete. Knee brace to the face and Cactus takes the Nestea Plunge. Chair shot to the knee. Repeatedly. Pretty sure it is the wrong leg, though. Orndorff calls for the piledriver. He takes too long taunting and gets hit in the head with the snow shovel. Cactus wins!

Johnny, Missy, and Eric talk about the rest of the show.

Heavenly Bodies vs Rock N Roll Express

Stan Lane was still a part of the Bodies and Bobby Eaton was also joining them at ringside. I guess Eaton is considered full on part of the team. RNRs apparently kissed and made up. This is a special SMW cross-promotion. Eaton is sent to the back. Gibson and Dr. Tom begin. Old timey flying head scissors. Morton comes in with a rana. Some goofy comedy spots follow. The same comedy spots the Midnights/RNR had been doing for close to 10 years by this point. Jesse says Cornette might be eligible to join the military with what the president is doing right now. IE, Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Because Corny is such a QUEEEEEEEEEEER. Idk, I'm just generally not a big fan of the RNRs because if you've seen one match, you've seen them all, and seeing them do the same comedy spots over and over (usually with the same people) got old to me while they were still in Memphis. A crisscross spot starts. Morton ducks out of the ring and Stan keeps going, so Corny jumps in the ring and gets smashed. The Heavenly Bodies were just the Midnight Express with a guy not quite as good as Eaton and a past his prime Stan Lane. And then a team with a not quite as good Eaton and a guy better than Lane but still not as good as Eaton. They did the same spots, same signature moves, same everything. Might as well have been called the New Midnight Express. And then Bart/Bob could have been the New New Midnight Express. And then the Southern indies could do a Original Midnight Express vs Midnight Express vs New Midnight Express vs New New Midnight Express feud. And then combine them all into one team that would end up being Eaton and probably Bobcore because everyone else would flake or get sick of it. Eaton came out and hit the wrong man. RNRs win. If you've seen any RNR/Midnights match, it was the same as this match but without Eaton.

Dustin Rhodes vs Maxx Payne WCW US Championship

At least Maxx knows how to play his guitar, unlike Hammer. He's billed as being from "Euphoria". Do you think he has a fedora at home? A singlet is a weird look for a mad man rocker. WCW decreed that a knee or elbow to the throat from the top rope is illegal. That's pretty specific. Lariatoo. Payne bails. I can't believe Vince picked this guy up. He bails again after a roll up. I think Dustin might have a boner. Arm drags and arm bars. Payne works on Dustin's arm as his finisher is a Fujiwara arm bar. This is not interesting at all. Another match where someone with a lot of talent is paired up against someone that will prevent them from being as good as they are. Dustin got boned just like the Blonds did earlier. I think Dustin still has a boner. Lariatoooo. Now I have a boner. Dustin locks on an abdominal stretch. Payne grabs the ref into them to break the hold and throws Dustin over the top anyway. He's disqualified. Title retained. The fight continues until more refs come down to break them up.

Johnny, Eric, and Missy again talk about nothing.

Ric Flair comes to the ring. Along with him are what appear to be Secret Service agents and two women. Oh, he's not even going to the ring. He's going to talk with Tony at ringside. They couldn't do this in the ring? Ric Flair's return is a ringside interview? He barely even said anything.

Barry Windham vs Great Muta NWA Championship

Barry has that giant Mulligan mustache. Flair is going to join in on color for this. Muta is the defending champion. This match is contested under NWA rules. You will be disqualified on the count of 5. Using the ring post is a disqualification. However, top rope moves are legal. Feeling out process. Muta gives a clean break, but Barry shoves him anyway. Barry wins a test of strength. "All those Japs are tough." -Ric Flair. Barry turns this into a suplex. Muta uses his speed advantage and scores a spin kick and side head lock. Muta works it for awhile. Barry is unable to get out of it even with multiple suplex attempts. He finally gets a rope break and throws a big punch. Drop down/leap frog spot ending in a Muta dropkick. Back to the side headlock. I guess the winner of this match gets the winner of Vader/Sting. Vertical suplex from Muta. Powerdrive elbow. Back to the side headlock. They're about 13 minutes in and 10 minutes have been a side headlock. Come on guys. Barry starts throwing elbows and finally it looks like the match might pick up. Muta misses a dropkick. DDT from Barry. A punch sends Muta through the ropes. Belly to back suplex on the floor. Big suplex back in. Nature Boy like knee drop. And another. Sleeper. Barry gets it to the mat and uses the ropes for leverage. Muta gets out, but he's still groggy. Gut wrench suplex. Muta is thrown to the floor and slapped. It seems to momentarily fire him up, so Barry strikes him again before he can get pumped up. Back in the ring, they trade chops. Barry hits a slam and big elbow drop. Muta doesn't have enough energy left to get a sunset flip on Barry. He fires back with a cross body for 2. Spin kick OUTTA NOWHERE. Barry goes for the superplex. Muta blocks it. Flying karate chop. Hand spring elbow. It almost knocks Muta himself to the floor. Back breaker. Barry dodges the moonsault. Barry tries a belly to back. Muta slips out and hits one of his own. Muta fires up to a chorus of boos. He goes for the moonsault one more time and Barry gets his knees up. Barry follows it with a kind of implant DDT. New champion! Barry Windham has finally won the NWA Championship! Ric Flair presents him the Big Gold Belt. This was a very 70s style NWA match. If you're into that, you'll like this. If not, you'll probably be bored since the first 15 minutes or so are headlocks.

I really wish the entire White Castle of Fear video was aired instead of random clips through out the show.

Johnny, Eric, and Missy again talk about nothing. Such a waste of time.

Vader vs Sting Strap Match

This is not sanctioned by WCW (yet is happening on a WCW PPV, in a WCW ring, with WCW officials), so the WCW Championship is not on the line. The advantage is clearly Vader's here, as Sting will have to drag his fat ass around the ring to win. Vader easily over powers and drags Sting all around the ring. Lariatooo. Elbow drop. Then another that might have been to the dick. The little Stinger! Second rope splash. Sting just got stung! But he makes the mistake of letting Sting get the strap between Vader's legs. Yappapi, brother! Down goes Vader! Gamenguri. Second rope clothesline. StingerFly Splash. And another. Vader is shook, guys. And Tony is shook that Vader is shook. A whole lotta shooking. Vader is getting some of that strappage, brother. Harley gets on the apron and gets a taste of that strappage, too, brotherjackdude. Well you know something Mean Gene dude, this is where the power lies, dude. Right here in the Yappapi, brother. Where the apples are like pie, dude. Vader's back is sliced and bleeding from the strappage, brothers. Sting has the novel idea of trying to touch all four posts from the outside, which seems harder because it is more space to cover. Vader just fucking yanks his ass full speed into the guard rail to put a stop to that shit. Back in the ring, Sting hits a Samoan drop. He runs into two Vader Attacks. Sting back drops out of a Vader Bomb. He goes to the top one more time. He misses the splash this time. Vader hits a standing splash. And then starts punching the shit out of Sting's ear. Jeeeezus. Looked like they fucking hurt. Vader does his own Somalian Drop. Vader Bomb. A stiff one. Crushed poor Stinger. Stinger getting that strappage, dude. Lol at Jesse calling Tony a big bully who beats his children like that. I REALLY like the chemistry between Tony and Jesse. They work very well together. Second rope Samoan drop from Vader! Vader is looking to end this match. Sting breaks the count with a kick. Vader just barely misses a Vader Bomb. Sting almost got legit squashed. He goes to the top rope. Sting crotches him. And then he pulls Vader from the top rope, who does a flip to the center of the ring. Vader gets pissed and starts throwing punches. Sting fires back with some of his own. Superplex from Vader. Sting has been wrecked in this match. Vader gets to three before Sting breaks the count. Vader Rush in the corner. One of them was definitely a straight fist to the jaw. Vader repeatedly pulls Sting into him to hit a Vader Attack. Sting finally uses the momentum to hit a koppo kick. German suplex! DDT. Sting beats Vader down in the corner. Sting puts Vader on his shoulders and carries him to the corners. That's some fucking strength. He tripped over the ref right before he could touch the last corner. Vader's ear is GUSHING blood. I don't know how it happened. It might have been from a punch or it might have been from a strap, but it looks like he got shot in the side of the head. He ties Sting's foot up and is able to touch all four corners when Sting kicked him into the last one. Vader wins. What a brawl. Best strap match I've ever seen by far. Love Sting vs Vader. They beat the shit out of each other. I can't remember a match where Vader came out looking worse off than his opponent.

TO THE BISCHOFF. Missy and Johnny leave to freshen up their make up for a party. Barry Windham then steps up and says he will put his title on the line against anyone. And he's coming after ALL championships. He's going to have all the belts and all the numbers.

Tony and Jesse wrap things up.

This was a good show. I was burnt out from all those shitty Raws at the start, but Benoit/Scorp was good, Muta/Barry was good, Vader/Sting was dope, Cactus/Orndorff was pretty brutal. I'm still not sure who was heel in that or if there was a double turn or what. Jesse and Tony have such great chemistry. They really give it back and forth all night and constantly fuck with each other in a way that you can tell they genuinely like each other. I kind of like Tony/Jesse better than Jesse/Gorilla, but maybe just a shade under Gorilla/Brain. Definitely in my fave five announce teams of all time.