WWF Survivor Series 1990

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I'm all about that synth sax that was also used a lot in No Holds Barred. It's THE SURVIVVVVVVVVOOOOOOOOORRRRRRR SERIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS.


I forgot that Piper was on commentary for this. Fuck. He SHOOTS on SA DAMN WHOO SAIN.

TO THE MEAN GENE. WELLLLL, Gene is with LOD, Texas Tornado, and the Ultimate Warrior. So many warriors. Kerry being on this team was a pretty dope shout out to WCCW fans, where he was called the "Modern Day Warrior". He was never called that in the WWF, but he's on a team with three other warriors, so that's neat.


Perfect Team vs Ultimate Warriors

Shout out to Tornado's music. It's pretty cool. Shout out to LOD's music. It's pretty cool. Shout out to Warrior's music. It's pretty cool. Lots of cool ass much on this show starting from the intro. Animal and Smash begin. We're going to start a death count for this show. So far, we are at 7 (Gorilla, Piper, Hawk, KVE, Warrior, Crush, Perfect). Animal is the only living member of his team as of November 2015. Demolition were dope. Better than LOD, in my opinion. I think the Powers of Pain were better, too. Faces really dominate this. Warrior eliminates Ax. Perfect, of course, bumps like a freak whenever in the ring. Hawk is so jacked. His back is ridiculous. The Perfect Team finally gets into things when Hawk takes his signature shoulder into the post spot. Hawk being Hawk, recovers moments after. LOD and the remaining members of Demolition brawl in the ring and get disqualified. Perfect is left on his own against two men on coke and steroids who have tassels. What chance does he have? I'm convinced Perfect was an exhibitionist and that's why his dick was showing so often in his gear. Baby Shane McMahon is a ref at this event. Brain gets thrown into the crowd. Tornado is eliminated after being rammed into an exposed turnbuckle and hit with the Pefect Plex. "NO PANSIES HERE, BABY!" Warrior kicks out of the Perfect Plex. Warrior's boots are so weird. They look like cowboy boots wrapped in space blankets, then dipped in glitter, with tassles from a little girl's bike. Perfect just eliminated the IC champ and is dominating the WWF champ. You can't look much stronger than that. I mean, he did lose to Warrior eventually, but before that, he had Warrior down and out multiple times. Warrior will advance to the grand finale match in the main event.

 
 

TO THE MOON. The Million Dollar Team are the guests. Their mystery partner is conspicuously absent, but Ted promises it will be a very BIG surprise. 


The Dream Team vs Million Dollar Team

Death count goes up to 8 with Dusty. The day before this show, Bret's brother Dean died. Almost 9. Ted DiBiase brings out his mystery partner...THE UNDERTAKER. This dead fuck. "Look at da size of dat ham hock!" That's how you sell a giant zombie if you are Roddy Piper. Bret and Taker begin. The first move of the match is Taker hitting his weird early chokeslam. Anvil tags in, is slammed, and immediately tags out. Koko tags in and immediately gets hung up on the rope. "Ooooh...jeepers." Then he's murdered with the tombstone. What's funny about this is that Gorilla is clearly familiar with Taker and his moves, and PIPER of all people has to keep him on task of pretending like he's a complete unknown that no one has ever seen. I'm still, to this very day, annoyed to shit that Honky (and Valentine) never learned how to play the guitar. HTM's gimmick for almost 30 years now has involved him playing a guitar. He never even learned how to HOLD the fucking thing the right way. Piece of shit. Anvil eliminates him, thankfully. I'd hate to see that cunt in the main event. Old, fat, spindly legged Dusty is still over as fuck even in hostile territory. Dropkick from Dream! Was the 80s WWF ring harder or softer than a modern lucha ring? DiBiase eliminates Anvil after a Virgil distraction. It seems a little unfair that the heels have THREE managers at ringside. Taker eliminates Dusty. Bret is the only guy left. "Come on, Hart, put your heart into ittttttt!" Brother Love puts the boots to Dusty after he's eliminated. Dusty grabs him, which causes Taker to go after Dusty, getting counted out in the process. Small package OUTTA NOWHERE eliminates Hammer, who was barely in this match. Oh shit, Bret doing pescados in 1990. To no one's surprise, Bret and Ted have a really fun solo match. Their house show matches were a ton of fun. They meshed very well. Imagine if this was a time period where good matches really mattered. Or if DiBiase was healthy in 1993-1994 when Bret was having dope matches with everyone. DiBiase rolls through a crossbody to get the win and advance to the main event. In a lot of ways, this was a landmark match for WWE. Not only was it the debut of Undertaker, but Bret's real break out as a singles guy. And those two would go on to define the 90s for the WWF.  Bret getting his big chance to show he was more than a tag guy really isn't talked about in the retrospectives, but it was as important as Taker's debut.

 
 

TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene is in the showers with the Rockers, Snuka, and Jake Roberts, doing copious amounts of coke while the snake cheers them on.


The Visionaries vs The Vipers

I'd like to note that Snuka kept messing with his nose on the way to the ring. Who can say why. Warlord and Marty begin. Warlord is a fucking HOSS. Jesus Christ he's massive. How is HE not dead? Speaking of, the death count is up to 9 with Hercules. I miss these giant monsters. I'm happy to see Brawn Stroman bringing back the tradition. I can't tell if Marty got hurt or has coke hidden in his wrist band. Warlord is so big that he makes Hercules look completely unimpressive. It's fucking crazy. HE'S SO MASSIVE. He eliminates Marty with a powerslam. HBK gets worked over for quite a while. Snuka wearing boots is weird as it is, but the fact that they are black, yellow, green, red, and blue is even weirder. He's eliminated by Martel. Jake spents most of the match just trying to get his hands on Martel. Martel hits Jake from the apron. "YOU CHEAP ASS..uh, excuse me. Cheap person." Powerplex puts HBK out. Jake is the only man left. It's 4 on 1. And he only has 1 eye. Oh shit, DDT OUTTA NOWHERE on Warlod. Jake chases Martel away with the snake, getting himself counted out. The entire Visionaries team will advance to the main event, the first team ever to survive completely intact. 

 
 

TO THE BROTHERJACKDUDE MOON. Hogan's hair is as weird as ever. It's like...too short. He just looks like a bald dude who let his horseshoe get shaggy instead of his normal look. Boss Man was looking like he was dreaming about blasting Hulk in the neck with his night stick during the whole promo. 


The Natural Disasters vs The Hulkamaniacs

YES. That one kid booing Duggan while the rest of the arena was going insane is probably my best friend. Ain't no one booing the Boss Man, though. Ain't nobody want none of them hard times. Haku and Doogun begin. If only someone else was on the team instead of Bravo. Like..The Warlord. How the fuck neither Warlord nor Barbarian got a run with Hogan is unthinkable to me. Boss Man quickly eliminates Haku. Death count is up to 11 now, with Boss Man, Bravo, and Quake. Oh. 12, since Joey Marella is the ref. Duggan gets himself disqualified beating on Quake with his board. And then swinging at the ref. Duggan has ALWAYS been a cunty face. Remember that he spent a solid 2 1/2 years blatantly cheating to win every match. When Hulk gets tagged in, he slams all the heels. Then Quake splats him with the powerslam. Lol, small package OUTTA NOWHERE eliminates Bravo. What the fuck, Boss Man comes off the top with a crossbody and...EARTHQUAKE CATCHES HIM WITH NO EFFORT. God damn. A big elbow drop gets rid of Boss Man. Tugboat has yet to enter the match for some reason. When he does get involved, he and Quake get counted out falling on the floor. This leaves Hulk and Barb. To my knowledge, this is the closest the world ever got to a Hogan/Barb singles match. That is BONKERS. Why the fuck would you not want to run with that feud? It would have been perfect in 1989 or 1990. This big, athletic monster with a cartoon gimmick who can convincingly beat the shit out of and toss Hogan around? WHY WOULDN'T YOU DO THAT? You could even have the evil foreigner part with it. Such a missed opportunity. Hulk gets the beat down, then Hulks Up to get the win, being the sole survivor of his team and advancing to the grand finale. Heenan got ejected from the ring after the match.

 
 

TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene brings out the Macho King, who happens to be dressed like a candy striper for some reason. Macho is coming for Warrior's title. Death count rises.


The Alliance vs The Mercenaries

Wow, fuck this match. Volkoff, Bushwhackers, Zhukov,? Fuck. Tito is the only one to survive.


TO THE MOON. Sean is with the heel team, which is the Visionaries and Ted Dibiase. 


TO THE MEAN GENE. We are in the SHANK OF THE EVENING, and these redhot fans are ready to see what is in this giant egg. Oh, it's starting to hatch. This is cracking me up, fans! It's, it's....THE GOBBLEDY GOOKER!Fans immediately shit on it. "You got a pair of legs like my mother-in-law, pal."  The Gooker forces Gene to the ring, where they dance. Say what you want about how stupid this is (and it is dumb), Gene is wonderful at this type of shit. He is in this perfect spot of being completely earnest and being in on the joke. Gene is one of a kind.


TO THE MOON. Sean is now with the face team, which is Hogan, Warrior, and Tito Santana. One of those is not like the other. Especially weird since Tito was never, ever going to get even an IC level push again. So weird. Although, when you look at the rest of the teams, he's the only guy that made sense. Bret would have been the other one, but he had to lose so Ted could be in the main event. 


Rick Martel/Warlord/Power and Glory vs Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior/Tito Santana Grand Finale Match

Warlord is immediately eliminated by Tito. Come on. I wanted to see Warlord crush Hogan or Warrior for a few minutes. And soon after, Ted eliminates Tito. Interestingly, Hogan plays the FIP instead of Warrior. Letting Warrior get that hot tag shine. Lol at Hogan kicking out of the Powerplex and immediately eliminating Roma with the ax bomber. Didn't even go for the boot and leg drop. Warrior gets the hot tag and tags back out about a minute later. Martel leaves the match, leaving DiBiase and Hercules left on the heel team. Hulk then eliminates Ted. Lol. Christ. Warrior gets tagged in to finish off Herc, but god damn, Hulk was in for 90% of the match, AND he counted the pin with the ref. What a hot dogger.  Slick got thrown around after the match. Warrior and Hogan do their "No, I respect YOU more" stuff to end the show.


A fun show. This period is not about great wrestling, but about the atmosphere, characters, and bright colors. If you're watching Golden Era WWF for 5 star matches, you're wasting your time. Storylines that would lead into the Rumble and WM were progressed, Taker debuted, Bret got his big shine moment, and Hogan completely stole all of Warrior's thunder. Starting from the interview of the face survivors, Hulk took the lead in the promo. In the match, he did 90% of the work, including eliminating DiBiase (who was the number one contender and would have a title shot against Warrior the next night on NBC), hot dogging during Warrior's winning pin, and getting about twice as much time to pose after winning his match than Warrior did for his.  It's really easy to see why Warrior didn't work out as the top guy like they thought. He played second fiddle to Hogan the entire time he was champ. 

I believe Warrior was only one TV one time in the 3 months after WM, and it was just him running to the ring with the title, then running right back out. Meanwhile, all of the weekly shows focused on Hogan's possible retirement, then the Earthquake attack. Warrior was never the main focus. Hogan, in fact, was on TV MORE after WM6 than he was before. And here, he definitely was pulling a power play all night. Not even being slick about it. 

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