WWF Summerslam 1998

We're on the highway to heck! Man, the dubbed music and completely omitting the accompanying video hurts the show already.

Val Venis vs D'Lo Brown WWF European Championship

D'Lo's chest protector has been allegedly reinforced for this match. He uses it to his advantage. Val gets sick of that shit and hits a big spinebuster. Creepy ol' Edge just hanging out in the crowd. Val hits an exploder OUTTA NOWHERE. Val's first few months on Raw were really weird because he was having puro style matches that went much longer than typical Raw matches. It was pretty cool. D'Lo focuses on Val's back for most of the match. Good strategy. How is Val going to put in work at his other job with a bad back? They kind of forget about the chest protector after a while. Val goes up top for the Money Shot only to be caught in the Sky High. Then D'Lo plants Val with a DDT. Val is one of the underrated DDT sellers. Val goes for the Money Shot again, but D'Lo gets his knees up.  This gets a loud D'LO chant. Then he tries to powerbomb Val and completely drops him on his head. He picks Val up and does a running Liger bomb. Val dodges the 'Lo Down. Oh no, D'Lo gets his chest protector ripped off. He could be re-injured! Val puts the vest on. Val climbs the ropes. The ref grabs his ankle trying to prevent him from using it. This makes Val slip and crotch himself. In response, Val throws the ref and gets disqualified. D'Lo wins! Title retained. Really fun opener. The ref gets hit with the Money Shot after the match.  

TO THE COLE. On Heat, Austin destroyed a hearse thinking Kane and Taker were in it. Instead, Mankind was in it and he's pretty pissed about his ride getting ruined.

Kaientai vs The Oddities

Oddities have their entrance completely removed. JR admits that he kind of likes ICP. Golga takes Yamaguchi's shoe and pours beer in it, then throws it back in his face. I suppose this is supposed to be fun and playful, but it isn't either. It is dumb as shit. Oddities win. Oddities also have their exit completely removed. The hard cuts on these Attitude Era PPVs are intense and so awkward. The Network absolutely has the home video versions and not live PPV masters for almost all of these.

Jeff Jarrett vs X-Pac Cabellera contra Cabellera

On Heat, Jeff and the Godwinns shaved what little was left of Fink's hair. Fink is with X-Pac in a DX shirt. Kid starts off with a flurry of offense, including a springboard plancha. Jeff responds with dropkicks and ramming Kid's balls into the ring post. You could tear an asshole with that kind of move. STIFF Irish whip.  LET'S GO X-PAC chants. In MSG. Only in America. There is a lot of Jeff working on the neck and X-Pac throwing big dives or kicks and missing. Fink gets on the apron to challenge a low blow and gets decked. X-Factor OUTTA NOWHERE. Southern Justice head back out and miss their cue to break up the pin. Mideon tries to use the guitar. Kid takes it and hits Jeff with it. X-Pac wins! Jeff Jarrett must now get his hair cut. Various other wrestlers come out to hold Jeff down for his hair cut. Another fun match. Two fun undercard matches during the Attitude Era is nearly unheard of.

TO THE CUNT. Dok is outside of the Lion's Den and talks it up. Then he throws to Cole.

TO THE COLE. Cole is with Rock. They recap Heat, where Rock drilled HHH in the back of the knee with the title belt.

Marc Mero/Jacqueline vs Sable/Edge

I don't like anything about Sable. Why is she always fucking yelling? I can't wait for her to be gone. Edge hit a pretty dope tope. Sable did a super rana and powerbomb to Johnny B. Badd. Sable and Edge win.

TO THE COLE. Cole is with Mankind. No one has seen Kane and there are rumors he won't be here at all. What is Foley going to do? Fucking fans don't wont to be disappointed. Pieces of shit. Vince shows up to calm him down. Vince then convinces Mick to defend the titles by himself and he'll put Mick in the MSG HOF personally.

Owen Hart vs Ken Shamrock Lion's Den Match

Owen was victorious at his home turf. Will the same hold true for Shamrock? Dan Severn is Owen's trainer for this match. There isn't even an official in the Den. How will we know who wins? Jack Doan is on the catwalk, yeah on the catwalk, I do my little turn on the catwalk. Owen's mouth has been busted open. This is not nearly as fun as the Dungeon match. It was in this very match that Shamrock debuted the original Showtime Kick. This is worked more like a wrestling match, while the Dungeon match was worked like a SHOOT. There are boring chants in the MSG theater. Shamrock wins with the ankle lock. "Shamrock is one bad ASS!"

TO THE COLE. Cole is with Austin, who doesn't give a shit if Taker is alone or with Kane or whatever.

Mankind/Kane vs New Age Outlaws WWF Tag Team Championships No Disqualification

Kane is nowhere to be found, so this is a defacto handicap match. Seems unfair. Outlaws do the first conchairto in WWE history, although it was with cookie sheets. Mick made a valiant effort, but was ultimately destroyed. The fans started a YOU FUCKED UP CHANT when the NAO's music hit after a near fall. After the match, Foley is put into the dumpster the Outlaws brought out at the start of the match. Also inside the dumpster was THE DUMPSTER KANE! He apparently smashes Mankind's head with a sledgehammer. THAT DAMN DAMON! DAMN HIM!

The Rock vs Triple H WWF Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match

HHH gets the DX band to play his theme live and holy shit does it sound TERRIBLE. Jesus Christ. Fucking AWFUL. Jim Johnston himself is out there playing. HHH is headbanging with it but you can't really see due to the seizure inducting nature of the DX entrance. What a terrible performance. Rock pretty clearly says FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER to HHH at the start of the match. That ain't PG. That ain't even TV-14. Rock is the first to go for the ladder. He went way too fucking slow and HHH easily caught up with him. Rock work's on HHH's previously injured leg. A solid game plan for a ladder match. Hard to climb with one leg. "That is aggressive aggression from The Rock." I don't like anything about this. Neither guy is made for a ladder match to begin with, and face HHH is so boring. I don't think there is a DX face HHH match I like. Doesn't matter who he is with. Now that I really think about it, I think matches with Mankind are the only HHH matches I like at all before 1999 or 2000. Ladder matches work best with either two flippy bumper types or one flippy bumper type and a solid base out of his element. These guys are both way out of their element and the match doesn't work at all for me. It didn't work for me as a kid, and hasn't worked for me any of the other times I've seen it. Even in a ladder match, these two can't have a clean finish. Mark Henry and Chyna both interfered at the end, with Chyna costing Rock the title by punching him in the people's jewels as he was grabbing the title. HHH wins. New champion. Whatever. Fans were super into it and went nuts when HHH grabbed the belt, but you know what? Fuck MSG and NYC. They're wrong. This match was shit.

The Undertaker vs Steve Austin WWF Championship

King lets us know that a SWERVE has been thrown at us: Kane will not be involved. This starts off as a brawl, but Austin breaks out some technical stuff that he hadn't really used at all since the neck injury a year ago. Something weird happens where Austin throws a kick to a bent over Taker, but Taker's head apparently busted Austin in the head or something. Taker hits a stun gun on Austin! I get kind of annoyed that JR almost always calls it the Hot Shot. When Austin is in the ring, it should be called the Stun Gun. Taker then aims his focus to the lower back of Austin. Austin focuses on the knee of Taker. Austin counters Old School. Kane strolls out. But we were told he wouldn't be involved. DOUBLE SWERVE! Taker sees him and tells him to go to the back. Things head into the crowd for a bit. In what I believe was the first WWF spot of its kind, Taker attempted a leg drop from the top rope to the Spanish announce table. Both men slid off the table and Taker probably broke his ass. But that god damn table was Japanese. SWERVE! Botched stunner. Chokeslam! Taker calls for the tombstone to a chorus of boos. Austin counters, but then gets tossed balls first onto the top rope after some miscommunications. Old School is countered again, this time with a low blow in mid air. Stunner! AUSTIN WINS AUSTIN WINS AUSTIN WINS. Title retained. Taker hands Austin the belt after a tense stare down. A wild, extremely physical, although very sloppy brawl. As it turns out, Austin had a concussion when the back of Taker's head hit him in the jaw at the start of the match, so that would explain the jankiness throughout .

'd say this is probably the best Attitude Era show so far. At least official Attitude Era. It officially started in the fall of 1997, before Survivor Series, but it had really been going on since late 1996. Kid/Jarrett, D'Lo/Val, and Austin/Taker were a lot of fun. A lot of people seem to like the ladder match that I think is shit. 3-4 fun matches is a miracle during this period.