WWF Rock Bottom: In Your House 12/13/98
TO PLANET HOLLYWOOD. Rock was chilling at PH, which is where he introduced the PPV and claims that all PPVs going forth will be named after him.
Cole gets to call his first PPV due to JR suffering another bout of Bell's Palsy.
Val Venis/The Godfather vs D'Lo Brown/Mark Henry
The WWF really had a wrestling porn star and wrestling pimp. PMS comes out with D'Lo. Terri tries to do D'Lo's head bob. #whitegirls. The Nation of Domination, which had SO MUCH focus in 1997 and 1998, just kind of dissolved without much of an angle. Faarooq got kicked out and Rock took over. And then Rock went solo, Godfather started pimping, and then it was over. D'Lo and Mark stayed bros, though. Not really much to speak about here. The hos and PMS got into it on the floor. Jackie then revealed Val's man thong and Mark pinned him with a splash.
TO THE CUNT. Cunt is with HHH and Chyna hyping the Superstar Line.
EARLIER TODAY. Mankind attacked and injured Rock in attempt to get Rock to forfeit the match.
TO THE BACK. Vince, Shane, and Rock all agree that Rock will still have the match.
Headbangers vs Oddities
Man. FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK. FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS. FUCK EVERYTHING.
TO THE BACK. Vince and the Stooges talk about stuff in the trainer's office.
Owen Hart vs Steve Blackman
Lol. Owen hasn't been on PPV in months and they only trotted him out because this PPV was in Canada. Just like the last PPV in Canada back in September. And even then he was in the opener with no storyline. Pretty uninteresting match. Blackman just wasn't a good wrestler. Owen ends up walking from the match and getting counted out.
TO THE BACK. Vince is walking around, looking for Mick Foley. He finds Foley in a weird closet labeled "Mankind's Office".
JOB Squad vs The Brood
I'm sure there was a wonderful storyline for this. Edge and Bob start the match. Blue Dot comes in the ring and is no longer LH Champion, never even getting a PPV title defense. There are moves. They aren't part of a story. Just random moves. Christian pinned Scorp with the PPV debut of the Unprettier. Brood can't even do their dope entrance when there isn't a stage.
TO THE BACK. Vince and Mankind are still discussing things in Mick's office.
Jeff Jarrett vs Goldust
If Jeff wins, Goldust has to strip. If Goldust wins, Debra has to strip. Jeff is a heel even to King in this. King wants to the see the puppies, god damn it. Not a particularly interesting match. The heat came entirely from people wanting to see Debra's big fake titties. Debra hit Goldy with a guitar that the ref didn't notice despite being no more than 3 feet away and somehow not being able to see all the debris in the ring. Goldy is forced to strip. But then Commissioner HBK comes out. He sends Jeff to the back, but makes Debra stay. He reverses the decision due to DQ. "Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen!" After a few minutes, Debra seems to enjoy it. HBK stuffs some money in her bra. As her bra was about to come off, Jeff Jarrett and the Blue Blazer showed up and covered her up.
TO THE BACK. Vince's negotiations with Mankind seem to have worked in his favor.
Oh Christ. Those two shitty fans who were at Rumble 1997 had an Attitude cologne ad. Which was in black and white while they were dressed like beatniks/jazz musicians.
New Age Outlaws vs Ken Shamrock/Big Boss Man WWF Tag Team Championships
If only Boss Man had been able to work at the level of 1990-1993 Boss Man during this run. He was SUCH a cunt. It was wonderful. But he couldn't go at a high level in the ring anymore. Road Dogg is FIP for most of the match. Corporate HBK is at ringside talking trash. It's a pretty inoffensive match, which is wonderful in the shit year of 1998. HBK gets overly involved. He should just go ahead and strip the Outlaws. He has the power, does he not? Also LOL at Tim White getting pulled out of the ring by his foot, landing on his feet completely fine, but then selling like he had a ref bump when he got back in the ring. HBK's interference backfires and the Outlaws win. Titles retained.
TO THE BACK. Vince is with Rock and gives him one last hype up.
The Rock vs Mankind WWF Championship
Mankind finally gets some new music. Kind of. It's just his old theme with some bass and drums added. Before the match starts, Vince and Mankind go over the contract they worked out in Mick's office. The new clause is that if Rock can't compete for any reason, the title is given to Mankind. He wants Vince to get on his knees and publicly admit that Mankind never quit at Survivor Series. Vince heard SOMEBODY say it. Vince said that Rock heard it, and that was good enough for him. That was enough for Mick to rip the contract up and the match begins.
Mankind dominates the already injured Rock. Vince gets on the mic to yell and tell the ref to DQ Mick for any legitimate reason that should occur. This distracts Mick and Rock goes to work. Mankind gets back in control and was going for a second rope Cactus Elbow. Shane grabbed his foot and Rock slammed him to the floor. So splatty. Mick does not like water being spit in his face and goes HAM on Rock at the announce table. But then he gets DDTd on a chair on the floor. Corporate Elbow! Vince tries to get Mick disqualified for a leg drop to the gut. Mankind piledrives Chioda before it can happen. RING THE FUCKING BELL. The time keeper aslo got attacked. Rock Bottom! But there is no ref. Rock holds Mick for Shane. Shane accidentally hits Rock. PIN HIM MICK! A second ref shows up just too late and Rock kicks out. Series of near falls from both men. Mandible Claw! ROCK IS OUT. WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION! Oh no. No. No no no no. Vince announces that a title can only change place via submission or pinfall, but Rock passed out, so he didn't submit or tap out, so Rock is still the WWF Champion. Vince gets Socko. Shane hits Mick with chair shots that don't even phase him. Then Mick attacks Shane. BOMAYE TO VINCE! The Stooges gets some as well. Shamrock and Bulldog show up and law and order is finally restored. This is a good example of when the over booked Russo shit mixed with a BRUTAL Dusty Finish actually work perfectly.
Steve Austin vs The Undertaker
Buried Alive Match
This match starts in the aisle. This came about when Taker literally tried to embalm Austin alive, and in the process literally murder Steve Austin while camera men watched on and did nothing to help. Paul would also try to stab Austin during this. And the big stipulation of this match is that the winner gets in the Rumble. Taker committed attempted murder on screen. More than once. No one seems to be that bothered by it. When it actually gets to the ring, it doesn't last very long before heading back to the floor. Taker seems to be focusing on Austin's elbow. Well, I guess that would make it hard to BERRY someone. Things make it to the grave for the first time. Taker appears to have a canister of gasoline out there. This is dumb. All Taker specialty gimmick matches are dumb besides HIAC. At some point, Austin puts Taker in the grave and leaves to go get something. Taker gets out of the grave. Then it explodes and Kane pops out of it. Kane and Taker brawl around until Austin comes back with a digger. After many technical issues, Taker is finally BERRIED. Austin eventually starts digging himself and gets his beer out and is declared the winner because that fucking dude had no idea how to work that machine.
Shit show. Compared to the previous 2 PPVs, it was fine, though. Mankind/Rock was a ton of fun. I think it is the best match of their feud. It's overbooked and has a BRUTAL Dusty Finish, but it works perfectly and definitely worked in Foley's favor as he was more over after the match than he was before. Rock is most definitely the late year MVP. Fuck 1998. So glad to be through it. So much GARBAGE. Christ. And 1999 gets even worse with that shit.