WWF Breakdown: In Your House 9/27/98
Edge vs Owen Hart
Both dudes are super over as this show is in Ontario. The match starts with even chain wrassling. Then Edge gets silly and tries a crossbody off the apron only to be splattered with a powerslam. Owen controls the match from that point on. Owen climbs the ropes for some reason. Edge catches up and hits the electric chair face drop. You stole that from Kanyon, you cunt. And you stole the Flatliner from him. Piece of shit. A fan jumps the rail. He has a blue dot for a face and Edge seems to know him. The distraction allows Owen to win with a roll up.
TO THE CUNT. Dok and Sable hype the Superstar Line.
Too Cool vs Al Snow/Scorpio
Pretty clear that they have no idea what to do with Scorp or Al. Why even bother to take them from ECW when you had no plans to do anything with them? That's just rude. Brian Christopher is legitimately annoying as shit. People talk about X-Pac heat, but they should rename that Brian Christopher heat. Al does Air Sabu in the ring. Scorp slips and botches when he tries it. King and fans laugh at him. Poor Scorp. He could have been in WCW making a lot more money and working with the Benoit/Eddie/Ultimo/Dean/Regal/Finlay group. Three things here. Al gets crazy with Head and accidentally hits Scorp. Then the ref just stops his count because both Brian and Scorp are doing top rope moves too late. Al pins Brian with the Snow Plow.
TO THE COLE. Cole is with the Brothers of Destruction. It isn't anyone's god damn business which one of them will defeat Austin tonight.
Marc Mero vs Droz
I was right. Brian Christopher's music at DX IYH was Droz's eventual music. Mero wins with the SSP in a very short match.
Bradshaw vs Vader No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere
In theory, this could be DOPE. But since this is Vader in the WWF, my expectations are tempered. We're in a post "I'm just a big fat piece of shit" crying baby era. Vader being a fat shit is now part of his storyline. JBL has cut his hair and shaved his mustache. He's getting serious. Fucking ref is right in the way of a huge big boot. Terrible camera shot. Man, this sucks. JBL won after two lariatooooos and a necktie neck breaker. This could not have possibly been more of a let down. WWF Vader AIN'T SHIT. It's a good thing he got to rehab his career a bit in Japan, because to end his career with his WWF run would have tarnished him forever. It was basically a reversal of the Vader/Hansen matches, with Vader being the old cunty vet and a new blood Hansen. But old cunty vet Vader is more like old fat piece of shit Vader who doesn't want to get hit hard and is out of breath 2 minutes into the match. So sad. Good thing Misawa/Kobashi/Kawada/Akiyama were willing to die for Vince's sins.
TO THE BACK. Kevin Kelly and Dr. Tom are with Jason Sensation talking about the show on WWF.com. Jason does impressions of Rock, Road Dogg, Jeff Jarret, and Taker. The Taker one was incredible. The other 3 were shit.
D'Lo Brown vs Gangrel
D'Lo hit a dope running Liger bomb. It's about the only thing the crowd cared about. I can't blame them. Two heels with no angle and no story in the match. Just a random Raw match on PPV. D'Lo won with the Sky High after Mark Henry interfered. Completely unneeded, since D'Lo was in control for most of the match. Gangrel gave Mark the blood mist and D'Lo the Impaler after the match.
TO THE COLE. Cole gets words with Ken Shamrock about the upcoming triple threat cage match. He'll go as far as it takes to become the number one contender.
TO THE CUNT. Dok is with Rock. He gives no shits about Shamrock or Mankind.
TO THE HERMIE. Kevin has left his WWF.com post and is with Mankind. He...talks about a dude pissing on an electric fence, breaking toy guns, and shames Monica Lewinsky for no reason. He also BERRIES the People's Elbow and says he will not ever lay down and sell that move.
Ken Shamrock vs The Rock vs Mankind Steel Cage Match
The winner will be the number one contender to the WWF Championship. I feel doing a triple threat for the number one contendership and the title on the same show is weird. Shamrock is now a heel. Rock is now a face, or at least a tweener. Mankind lets Rock and Shamrock fight and he just strolls out of the door. That would have been a great finish. 15 seconds in, Foley just calmly walks out while the other two were fighting. Three way abdominal stretch! It's fucking stupid. Shamrock has Mankind in it in the middle of the ring with his back to the door. Rock then thinks about it and instead of just climbing out or walking to the door, decides he'll also join in on the hold. If you're going to do that spot, you should have it with the performer of the hold doing it near the door and able to see the rest of the ring. The concept of a triple threat cage match is silly if has escape rules. Unless you're going to work it as intelligently as possible and never doing anything like...put a dude in a submission with your back to most of the ring while the other guy is free to do whatever. I believe the angle was that these three had a standard triple threat and Kane/Taker interfered and caused some trouble. So put them in a cage where no one can interfere. Fine. That makes sense. If it was a pin or submission stipulation. Foley looks ROUGH in this. I don't think he's recovered from HIAC. I'm not sure he ever fully recovered from it. Crowd goes BANANA for the double People's Elbow. Massive reaction. The psychology and logic of this match is completely fucked. Foley gets to do another cage dive. This time he misses. That bump was entirely unnecessary for the match and for Foley in general. This dude had taken TWO bumps from that height and higher just a few months ago and still isn't back to form. So let's have him do it again in a spot that he recovered from 40 seconds later anyway. Rock pinned Shamrock while Mankind was climbing out. Rock is the number one contender.
Dustin Runnels vs Val Venis
Goldy went from whatever the shit The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust was to some weird preacher dude talking about morality and family and Jesus all the time. Val made a porn with Teri just to piss Dustin off. He also brings her to the ring with him. There are some Croatians hanging out in the front row. I wonder if they know CroCop. That'd be cool. What if one of them IS CroCop? Man, CroCop in his prime was TMF. What a bad mother fucker he was. PRIDE should still be a thing, where steroids are not only encouraged, they're allowed. PRIDE blows away UFC always and forever. And crazy PRDIE announcer lady. Yakuza. Fedor. Wandy being jacked to the gills. It was a wonderful time. Oh. Val won with the Money Shot. On both Runnels. OOOOOOOH.
Southern Justice/Jeff Jarrett vs D-Generation X
Man. FUCK. The Godwinns, Ain't I Great Double J, Smoking Billy Gunn, 123 Kid, and The Roadie. New Gen in full effect here. Was the "Billy Gunn is the best pure athlete in the WWF" thing a rib because of how easily he put on about 25 pounds of muscle in 2 months? Fuck everything about this. DX wins.
Steve Austin vs The Undertaker vs Kane WWF Championship
There are extra stipulations for this. Kane and Taker can only pin Austin to win. If anyone interferes on behalf of Austin, the match will be stopped and Austin will immediately be stripped of the title. Austin attacked during Taker's entrance, trying to eliminate one of the brothers before the match even starts. Austin is able to pick off both brothers and control the pace for a while. Stunner on Kane! THESZ PRESS THESZ PRESS RIGHT HAND RIGHT HAND. Things eventually catch up to him, though. The Stooges come out to watch from the entrance. LOL Austin randomly runs off and knocks the shit out of Brisco. Any time Austin is down, he manages to find a way to get up and start throwing fists. Kane breaks up Taker's pin. Taker didn't appreciate it. He returns the favor. And then Taker attacks Kane. They seem to work things out. Then things break down again. Alright guys, wrap it up. It's starting to drag and fall apart. Double chokeslam. They both pin Austin at the same time. Austin has lost the title, but who is the champion? Vince was the one to leave with the belt.
Seems like the main event got all the triple threat logic for the night. It made complete sense the whole time, with Austin picking his opponents off one at a time, always on the move, and never trying to take them on at the same time. Then Taker and Kane eventually getting into it over who would win. It was very logical. The cage triple threat had absolutely zero logic or psychology. This whole show was basically Raw with matches getting 8 minutes instead of 4.