WWF Backlash: In Your House 4/25/99
When your back lashes back, you have BACKLASH.
JR is returning to his first full PPV since Rock Bottom, where he suffered another Bell's Palsy attack.
The Brood vs Ministry of Darkness
The Brood's entrance ain't shit without the pit of fire. So the story here is that when Steph was being kept hidden in the boiler room by the Ministry, Christian gave away the secret while Ken Shamrock had him in an ankle lock. Then Taker whipped him and was going to sacrifice him the next week, so the Brood rebelled from the Ministry. Mideon and Blue Dot start the match. This should probably just be APA vs E&C. Faarooq's career took a weird path in the WWF. Came in as a Roman gladiator type, then turned into a leader of a black militant group, then joined a satanic cult, then became a mercenary who drank a lot of beer. Regardless, he always had a dope spinebuster. LOL at Christian trying to get into a fist fight with Bradshaw. A LOUD "Mideon sucks" chant starts up for no reason other than Mideon sucks. He wasn't even in the ring. I'm not sure Teddy Long should be allowed to ref matches for Faarooq. That's a conflict of interest given their past history. You know, Bradshaw had a weird career path as well. Coming in as a ornery cowboy, to a different kind of cowboy, to a member of a santanic cult, to a beer drinking mercenary, back to a cowboy, back to beer drinking mercenary, then being Million Dollar Man 2K to mountain climbing shithole announcer and conservative radio host. Bad camera work abounds here as most of the spots in the finishing sequence are barely seen or missed entirely. JBL pinned Christian with the Clothesline from Hell.
TO THE BACK. Rock arrives and drags the Smoking Skull Belt on the floor. No respect.
Hardcore Holly vs Al Snow WWF Hardcore Championship
Let's see how this goes. I would assume this won't end up in the river again. JUG OF WATER JUG OF WATER JUG OF WATER! Al somehow got busted open in the first 2 minutes with no weapons or even stiff shots that I could see. Why would you get a hockey stick only to break it in half to use less of it as a weapon? And why is the Raw apron on the ring? Were they planning on taping Raw right after the PPV? A table is set up in the ring, but they head to the back instead. Fans boo. Of course. You don't want to pay for tickets and then get stuck watching the monitors. There happens to be a sink just around in the back. It wasn't a kitchen sink. It was clearly a bathroom sink, Jim. But it got broken. They're fighting in an over filled dumpster, Maggle! I love it! "I always knew Al Snow was white trash." King actually had a good line. The fight heads into the production truck. One of them at least. The audio truck. Bob gets hip tossed out of it onto the roof of a car. Camera crew is heard repeatedly talking to each other during this. They finally come back into the arena. The table set up at the start of the match finally get used as Hardcore hit a superplex through it. Then Al wins by hitting Bob with Head. New champion!
EARLIER TONIGHT. Stone Cold arrived.
TO THE BACK. Taker holds a Ministry meeting. He speaks about the "Hower Power".
Godfather vs Goldust WWF Intercontinental Championship
Meanie does THE GRIND! Wait. 2 months ago, Goldy was kicking Blue Meanie in the balls and now Meanie is his manager and calls Goldust, "Mommy". What? JR claims Kama is 6'8". Yet Goldy is billed at 6'6" and is taller. A whole lot of fuckery here. Goldy brings in powder. It gets knocked into his face. Meanie hops in the ring to help him. Goldust instead attacks Meanie, thinking it was Godfather. This goes as far as the Shattered Dreams to Meanie. Goldy somehow couldn't tell the difference between a tall and muscular man and a short and fat man. And the powder apparently impaired his hearing as well. Meanie has to no sell the kick to the balls so he can fall into Goldust's balls. Godfather won with the DVD. Title retained. One of the hos had her nipple pop out briefly, which was so quick it wasn't edited out.
TO THE COLE. Cole speaks with Al Snow, who is sitting in front of urinals. Head seems to be arguing that she is officially the champion, not Al.
New Age Outlaws vs Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett
This is a number one contenders match. Roadie and his carny talk. Debra comes out in a bikini with a Sgt. Pepper jacket. King can't stop talking about tits. Fans also don't give a shit about the match and just want to see Debra's tits. They chant very loud for them. Frankly, Debra's boobs are gross. They look painful. I don't want to see those. Was there a single diva during the Attitude Era with real tits? This match is basically the dropkick match. So many dropkicks. Even Road Dogg threw one. 90% of Billy's offense was dropkicks. Billy hits the Fameasser on Owen while Owen had the sharpshooter on Roadie. NAO win. Billy shows his ass after the match.
TO THE COLE. Cole speaks with Shane McMahon, who will be the ref for Austin/Rock. In addition, the match is now no holds barred and if Austin attacks Shane, Austin will be fired. Shane swears on the name of his grandfather that he will count to 3 if Austin can beat Rock. "He is not my father. He is Vince to me."
TO THE HERMIE. Kevin is with Vince and Steph, who are holed up with a police officer to guard them. Vince is taking care of his family. Steph looks like a baby.
Mankind vs Big Show
Boiler Room Brawl
Oh fuck. Not another boiler room brawl. The match starts with Foley attacking Show from behind and trying to shove him into an electric closet. Why does the boiler room have a kitchen? My tolerance for seeing Mick Foley destroy his body has lowered significantly over the past 15 years. There are shopping carts, panes of glass, wooden ladders, tables, stairs, and steam. Mankind wins, but is immediately attacked by Test and the Boss Man. Show chased Boss Man away. Mankind gave Test Mr. Socko. By virtue that this was 1/3rd as long as the Mankind/Taker one, I vote this as the best Boiler Room Brawl. It's still garbage.
TO THE COLE. Cole is with HHH and Chyna. Chyna claims X-Pac forgot who got him over.
Footage of Big Show getting attended to by the trainer is shown. Then footage of Foley walking around the boiler room.
X-Pac vs Triple H
Finally, HHH is a heel again. Still, it will take him some time to get to The Game. He also now has one of the most generic themes of the entire Attitude Era. It sounds like a dubbed version of Cactus Jack's theme. It's garbage. It sounds like some shit one of the random unknown white light heavyweights would enter to. Probably would have been Flash Flannigan's music on Shotgun or something. X-Pac gets the dueling Cena chants. HHH then sent him flying over the top rope. Chyna causes the distraction HHH needed to get into control. Kid's feet are so fast, so educated. Lariatooooo. X-Pac appears to injure his neck and the ref thinks about stopping this match. HHH immediately focuses on the neck and tries to take away the Kid's livelihood like a no good son of a gun. How strange. A match with an actual story and psychology in an era where just the idea of that was unheard of. Chioda gets pulled in front of a baseball slide. First ref bump of the show. X-Factor! Chyna hit a low blow and Scorpion Death Drop. The lights go out. IT'S SABU! Oh. Nevermind. It's THE DAMON KANE!!! Chokeslam to HHH! Chokeslam to Chyna! Bronco Busters! LOL HHH still wins with a pedigree.
Ken Shamrock vs The Undertaker
Ken attacks as Taker enters the ring. Dat Ministry theme. Old School like a minute in. Taker misses a big boot in the corner and Shamrock zones in on Taker's knee and thigh. Lots of submission work from Ken. Fans don't know what to think. This is the second match in a row with submissions and actual psychology being used. They're not used to it. "SHUT UP YOU FAT BASTARD." Well, that fan really told Paul. Undertaker gets into full guard. Shamrock immediately sweeps into full mount and then applies a cross arm breaker. Not a Fujiwara arm bar, Jim. Boring chants start. Taker focuses on the lower back of Ken. Taker also busts out submissions that up to that point he had never done before. I can't help but laugh at these fans who legitimately can't handle a match with a story and working on a limb. Like...shit, Bret hadn't been gone that long and most of his matches were similar to this. Had things really changed so much in a year and a half that fans have no idea how to handle a match with actual psychology? Ankle lock! Bradshaw shows up with a bat. Shamrock knocks him off the apron. GOAT counter of the chokeslam with a rolling cross arm breaker. Belly to belly! Then Ken randomly decides to try a tombstone, which is of course countered. Taker wins. Bradshaw is sent into the ring to beat on Ken. Here's the thing. Fans didn't care for a submission based match and now they care even less about a heel beating on a heel after a 20 minute submission based match.
TO THE BACK. Vince makes Steph stay in the limo with police protection.
Steve Austin vs The Rock WWF Championship
No Holds Barred
Special Guest Referee: Shane McMahon
Shane is no Vince, that's for sure. It just doesn't work with Shane in that role. WE FIGHT ON SUNDAY NIGHT, MAGGLE! THESZ PRESS THESZ PRESS RIGHT HAND RIGHT HAND PISTON PISTON. This crowd is hot as fuck. Especially since now they get the wild brawl instead of submission and limb based matches they've been forced to deal with. Things quickly head out of the ring and Austin is thrown through the set at the entrance ramp. Rock gets thrown through the other side. Lost "anvil" cases are used. Why would anvils be needed for a wrestling event? Things head back to the ring, but only for a few seconds. Rock Bottom through the Spanish announce table! By GAWD! Rock then puts on a headset and trash talks. Rock steals a camera. He films that trash Steve Austin on the English speaking table. STUNNER STUNNER STUNNER MY GOD. Rock Bottom in the ring! Austin kicks out! Shane gets the title belt. Oh no, he accidentally hit Rock! Shane refused to count to 3 for Austin and runs off. Vince shows up with Earl Hebner. Vince drills Shane with the smoking skull belt. Stunner! Belt shot. Austin wins! Austin wins! STONE COLD STONE COLD! Title retained. Vince personally gives Austin the smoking skull belt that Rock had thrown in the river.
TO THE BACK. Steph is speaking with the cops. The Ministry shows up. The cops send the limo off. But wait. THE UNDERTAKER WAS DRIVING. "Where to, Stephanie? HAHAHAHAHAHA"
Certainly the best show since Summerslam 1998. The last 3 matches were solid as fuck. Especially since 2 of them had actual stories and psychology that the fans had NO idea how to react to. But even the lesser matches weren't a super drag to sit through like they usually are.