WWE Night of Champions 2015

Ryback vs Kevin Owens WWE Intercontinential Championship

Houston crowd doesn't seem to care for Ryback, but they do like KO. Ryback begins the match just shoving KO on his plump posterior repeatedly. KO isn't going to be able to match power with Ryback. He's going to need a new plan. Press slam to the floor. I don't want to be all "DURR HURR, KEVIN IS FAT", but Ryback definitely struggled with it. Although, he also struggled getting Paul Heyman up that one time, so I think that's more on Ryback being more show than go. On the way back into the ring, KO catches Ryback's arm in the ropes and then slams it into the ring post. From here, he is 100% focused on the arm. The whole match. Unlike the matches with Cena, this has a story, clear psychology, and KO isn't wrestling like an indie shit head working for pops. He's picked out a body part that negates Ryback's power game, and focused all of his offense on it. He's not doing movez. There is no finisher spam. In fact, there are no finishers at all. Working on the arm paid off, as when Ryback got KO up for the Shellshock, he couldn't hold it, allowing KO to rake the eyes and steal the win with a roll up. OUTTA NOWHERE. New champion! This was better than all three of the matches with Cena and the matches with Cesaro. Because it had a clear story, with both guys playing their roles excellently. Ryback is a deceptively good FIP-type. In general, Ryback is pretty underrated. Good, solid match.

BROCK LESNAR'S GO TO HELL TOUR. Not only will the Brock/Show match from MSG be aired on the Network, but Brock will be on Stone Cold's podcast. And finally, Taker/Brock at HIAC! 

TO THE BACK. Rich Brennan tries to get some words with Rusev. "Excuse me, Rusev." "NO! You are not excused. I don't need your American propaganda now." Rusev is just the best. Rich also tries to blow up Summer's spot, pointing out that she's wearing the ear rings that Ziggler gave her.

Rusev vs Dog Ziggler

Dolph has new gear, which is a shitty mix of early 90s HBK, Rick Rude, and Brutus Beefcake. It has Lana's face on the crotch. Oh, and Dog Ziggler kisses his hand and slaps his dick. This angle has been the worst shit, but Rusev has been so amazing in it. But fuck Ziggler. He's garbage. He's like the Young Bucks with an ironic layer of being unironic. Fuck him. Fuck this angle. Shout out to the dude with the ICOPRO shirt in the front row. The writing for this angle is so shitty. First off, it completely retconned everything about the Rusev/Lana relationship, turning Lana from a powerful woman who controlled the beast into a possibly abused, weak woman who had no power over her life. She breaks up with him and immediately starts fucking Ziggler to make him jealous. Dolph, instead of being cool about it, is a total cunt, shoving it in Rusev's face every chance he gets. Rusev then starts dating Summer Rae, who he dresses like Lana, because he still loves Lana, who is ruining his life. Ziggler then starts macking on Rusev's NEW woman. Such a piece of shit. No one in this comes off well, but especially the faces, who seem like terrible people all around. Rusev, the heel, is easily the most likable person in this entire angle and has been able to make the dumbest shit enjoyable. But anything enjoyable goes away when Ziggler shows up. It's staggering that the whole angle was 100% better for the month that Ziggler wasn't even involved. Summer gets on the apron is and knocked into the ring. The ref ejects her. While she's arguing, she throws her shoe at the ref, who ducks. The shoe hits Rusev, who is then pinned after the Zig Zag. Fuck. And Dolph kisses her hand as he leaves. What a fuck bag.

TO THE BACK. Nikki and Charlotte prepare for their match. Oh hey, it's Ric Flair, who looks to be about 900 years old. Fucking lol at Charlotte and Ric having the most awkward fist bump.

New Day vs Dudley Boyz WWE Tag Team Championships

Xavier in full Rufio cosplay tonight. The pre-match promo has New Day talking about their petition to save the tables, a petition signed by such folks as The Authority, Bill Nye, Jake From State Farm, and even President Obama. "Booooooo." "Don't boo the president." Lmao. Fucking Texas. It's weird that the Dudleys are still boyz, right? They're both in their mid 40s. Also lol at JBl thinking Xavier was trying to look like Leonidas. I think he meant the generic helmet of the Spartans, but he had to be corrected by Cole that X was Rufio. Which confused JBL. I don't believe he's ever heard of the movie Hook. Kofi and D-Von start. Slapping D-Von on his bald head. Like he ain't shit. And then when tags are made, Big E gets REAL, screaming at Bubba to "go home, old man". 2real4me. JBL seems like he was about to mention I think Chris Sabin kicking out of 3D in TNA, then just stops. Lol. I would like to point out that on the pre-show, JBL thought "astral" was the same as "astro" and started talking about Nolan Ryan for a few minutes until Cole caught on that JBL is stupid. "This is going to be scary", says King as Big E heads up top. And god damn was he right, because the incoming superplex looked like E was going to get spiked on his head until the last second. Some asshole puckering stuff there. Moments later, Big E KILLS Bubba with the apron splash. You almost have to think that Big E screaming at Bubba, a man known for taking liberties with younger talent, and then stiffing him, is confirmation that it is, indeed, a New Day. X's call of "JESUS. Jesus Jones that was good!", was pretty great. Lmao at X playing the theme from Rocky while Kofi is throwing punches. New Day really controls most of the match. RUFIO chants break out. Dudleys finally make a come back and hit a pretty sweet 3D on Kofi. Xavier breaks up the pin, causing a DQ. After the match, New Day tries to put the Dudleys through a table, only for Xavier to be put through it with a 3D. Solid, if unspectacular.

Charlotte vs Nikki Bella WWE Divas Championship

Fans are pretty into this from the start, which is great. Nikki begins with a lot of stalling. Very early on, Charlotte gets knocked off the apron and teaks her knee. Nikki sees it and immediately pin points it. Suplex with Charlotte's knees going into the ropes. That's pretty neat. Apron dragon screw! Nikki just destroys the leg, with Charlotte screaming in agony. Nikki is Ruthless here. Anderson-esque. After working the whole match with great psychology and execution from both women, they throw it all away for a finish of Charlotte winning via the figure eight. New champion! That finish was really, really stupid, for what up to that point was a very smart match. Shocker of all shockers, Ric comes out and balls like a baby. This was good, the best match of the Divas Revolution, with both women really playing their roles to perfection. Nikki as the mean as shit, ruthless attacker trying to hold on to her title, and Charlotte as a face selling like death the whole match. But the finish played against the entire build up of the match, and it made Nikki's reign kind of pointless, since Charlotte has been the least impressive of the NXT women since being called up, and has the least amount of experience. It wasn't a big moment, although it did have some build. In the end, it was a reshash of the same moment in NXT, complete with Ric out there crying like a really old, decrepit baby. All of this is really a shame, because the match itself was really good up until the finish.

TO THE JOJO. KO talks about how dope he is and how he's been a prize fighter without a prize for months, but now he has his prize. It's no "secret" that KO is great. I see what you did there, you fuck.

TO THE PANEL. We get some talk about the show so far. Booker is ready to see who the third man will be tonight.

TO THE BACK. Ric and Charlotte are still crying. 

Wyatt Family vs Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns/Chris Jericho.

Yuck. There could not have been a more deflating and lame choice than Jericho. They should have gone with the fan who hit the ring. Although the "fan" sure did look an awful lot like CZW star/NXT ref Drake Younger. Crowd was excited for Jericho. But fuck. Boring ass dude. He's in a really weird spot where beating him doesn't mean anything, but him beating younger talent to make beating him mean something again is harmful. So basically, it's a waste no matter what. Jericho revealing himself to be such a dad boner has killed any enjoyment I can have from him. I don't give a fuck that he can still jump off the top rope. He's lame, boring, and a win against him doesn't mean anything now. I'm into Stroman. I'm ready for a resurgence of giant ass monster hosses. Dudes who guys bounce off of when they try to shoulder block them. Give me some monsters again, please. It's great that all the guys from the indies are super athletic and can do a bunch of cool moves. I want some Powers of Pain fucks around again. Stroman seems of that mold. Ish. I doubt he's as rad as Barb, but in this, he looks like a proper hoss, so I'm digging it. I'm very appreciative of how Roman works in his big spots. He almost always has them countered and then has to try a different way to hit it. It's pretty neat. He can do the same spots, but they feel fresh because of the unique way he gets into them. All that is fine and dandy until Harper blasts your face off with a superkick. Roman plays FIP for a while, another role he's deceptively good at. Stroman looks like a beast, taking 2 superman punches and Dean's flying elbow drop before going down. Roman hits the spear, which appears to hurt him, which makes sense, considering this dude is a fucking monster. Jericho tags himself in and hits the Lionsault. Stroman kicks out, catches the Codebreaker in mid air, turns it into his finisher, and then wins with the standing anaconda hold. This was good. Stroman is exactly what the Wyatts needed to be taken seriously again. That dude is a fucking monster, and he was so protected like a motherfucker in this. He kicked out of two superman punches, Dean's flying elbow, the spear, and Lionsault all in the span of about 90 seconds. 

TO THE BACK. Seth gets pumped up with The Authority. Shemaus strolls by. 

Seth Rollins vs John Cena WWE US Championship


Rollins is in his White Ranger gear again, hitting a blockbuster about a minute into the match. Not that Cena ever had good looking punches, but his punches are comically bad tonight. I don't know what the deal is. Seth hits the Low Ki double stomp, also very early into the match, so I assume they're just going to blow through all the spots from the Summerslam match. At least he didn't manage to spike himself on his head this time. The crowd does the wave, and Rollins follows the wave. What a weird thing for the top heel to do. This match ain't shit. Just movez. There are counters to signature spots and whatnot, but they aren't sold as the two being familiar with each other. It's just moves. No flow. No story. Rollins playing to the crowd after dives and shit. Man, fuck that superplex --> falcon arrow combo. No one should be kicking out of that. Cena wins with the diving Fameasser and FU OUTTA NOWHERE. New champion. "John Cena's chasing Flair everywhere." Cena celebrates with a young kid who looks to have some kind of cancer, maybe of the throat. And after the match, Rollins tries to bail. Cena gives him a FU on the floor.

Seth Rollins vs Sting WWE Championship

It's STANG! A man called STANG! This is STANG! Sting tries to win immediately with the Stinger splash and death lock. I have some serious issues with the booking of this whole thing. A heel being forced into two matches can have no good outcome for the guy in the second match. If you lose to a guy who already had a match, you ain't shit. If you beat a guy who already had a match, you ain't shit. It's a no win situation when it is a heel being the one to defend both titles. It would be fine if it was a face. But as a heel, it's dumb. Stanger looks great here. Best shape he's been in in a long time. Seth is actually working like a shitbag heel in this. Finally. Lol at them doing Flair/Sting spots. Seth is basically getting the breaks beaten off of him. That young punk. Multiple times they fight near the announce tables. Finally, Sting drags Seth to the top of the English table only to get shoved off, falling through the Spanish table, appearing to hit his head on one of the monitors on the way down. A bad fall, no doubt. And after this, Seth almost just walks out on the match. Why would you walk out when you're in firm control? Slam on the remains of the table. Stang isn't taking it easy tonight. There is some serious bruising on Sting's arm and back already. Bucklebomb. Sting is STANGING UP! Stanger splashes everywhere. PESCADO! 56 year old Sting putting Taker to shame here. Scorpion Death Drop! Rollins got a foot on the rope. Rollins hits another bucklebomb, but this time Sting's neck snaps back violently and he almost immediately can't stand and slowly falls down. His legs just gave out on him. Once he gets up, they try an Irish whip, but he crumples again. He's clearly seriously injured. This is super uncomfortable. Ringside officials check on him. Although Sting is hurt, they continue for a few more minutes until Rollins turns the death lock into a roll up. Title reatined. 

Doctors immediately tend to Sting as Sheamus runs out to cash in MITB. Then the DAEMON KANE shows up and lays both Rollins and Sheamus out to end the show.

Very enjoyable show. Nothing was blow away great, but it was very solid all through out. The 6 man tag was probably the match of the night for me, but Stang bringing it was a blast until the injury, which was very uncomfortable and deflating. The cosmic irony of Sting not coming to WWE for 15 years because he was afraid they'd ruin him, only to have him get a possibly career ending injury in his first WWE PPV main event is a bummer. And of all the moves, it was on a shitty indie move that looks like it doesn't even hurt 90% of the time. A real bummer that casts a dark cloud on the show as a whole. Hard to see Sting's legs just give out on him like that and not think of the video of Perro Jr.'s injury. I don't see a 56 year old coming back from a neck injury. I hope this isn't the last time I get to see Sting wrestle, but if it is, he put it all out there and went way above and beyond what anyone could have asked and expected out of him. 

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