WWF Smackdown 6/21/01
Finally, the go home to show for KOTR. DDP has revealed himself as the stalker of Undertaker's wife, Steve Austin and Vince McMahon are no longer on the same page, Christian/Edge/Rhyno/Kurt Angle are heading into KOTR against each other. Vince has been silent about WCW for weeks. Will he have a response this week?
Kurt Angle comes to the ring to start the show. He's out to complain about people complaining about him calling himself as super hero. He's super, and he's a hero, so what's the GD problem? Kurt gets local heel heat for name dropping Shaq in Orlando. "And let's just say, I'm a man playing with boys." This brings out Edge and Christian. Kurt rephrases. "I'm a world of boys, I'm a man who likes beating them." They call Kurt a dork, which is weird since E and C are fucking dorks themselves. Maybe they know from experience. This all leads to more E&C bickering. Kurt demands an apology before he does something he regrets. "See this finger? See this thumb? See this fist you better run." Lol. Kurt was so great once upon a time. All this talking brings out Rhyno. He is, of course, Paul's pick to be the next KOTR. He makes it clear that Angle won't repeat...then GORES Edge. Kurt hits the Angle Slam on Christian.
TO THE PARKING LOT. Undertaker is waiting for DDP's arrival. Sara is with him.
TO THE BACK. Spike and Molly talk about Spike's match with Big Show. He assures her he'll be alright. She gives him a good luck kiss. I hope he gets killed.
Spike Dudley vs Big Show No Disqualification
Spike would have won if the Dudleys hadn't have come out to hit Spike with the 3D. Think about that. Think about it some more. Think just a little bit longer. That's where Show's career was at in 2001.
TO THE BACK. A limo arrives. It's Vince, not DDP. If DDP shows up to any show, Vince better let him in, or Taker is going to send Vince to hell. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!
Kane/Hardy Boyz vs X-Factor
I wonder if Paul will acknowledge Justin's existence this week. He doesn't. He's talking about DDP/Taker and the triple threat at KOTR instead. There's this weird thing where Albert can press slam Kane, but Matt can get out of the press slam every time by wiggling. You'd think of Albert can hold Kane up while Kane is wiggling, Matt shouldn't be able to get free. Kane is super over. He gets multiple "WE WANT KANE" chants while also mega over Hardy Boys are in the ring. Kane hits the chokeslam on X-Pac. Jeff follows it with the swanton for the win.
TO THE BACK. Vince is on the phone with someone bitching about Taker wanting DDP to be let into the building. Austin comes in, wanting to know who Vince chose. Vince is still thinking about it. Austin gives Vince his own personal hunting bow. "Thanks a lot. I always wanted a bow, and arrow...and stuff." Lol. Vince will need Austin's camo hat if he wants to sneak up on a deer.
TO THE PARKING LOT. The Taker Family are still waiting DDP.
TO THE OFFICE. Tajiri is watching back his match with Rhyno. Regal doesn't want to be blamed. Kaientai show up and a title match against Jeff Hardy. Tajiri jumps up on the table to defend Regal. Tajiri vs Taka tonight.
TO THE BACK. Rhyno and Kurt scheme to make sure they're in the finals, although Rhyno will definitely be runner up, which is nothing to scoff at. Elsewhere, Debra and Austin come back to Vince. Debra brings a big plate of cookies. They're terrible cookies. Austin likes to skip them across a pond.
Edge & Christian vs Rhyno/Kurt Angle
Maybe Kurt can do a spear in this since everyone else is doing it. EC again have miscommunications, which leads to Rhyno GORE GORE GORING both of them. Kurt pins Edge. After the match, Shane McMahon attacked Kurt with a kendo stick.
TO THE BACK. Austin is back with Vince. He's got another gift. A signed and framed picture of the two shaking hands at WM17.
TO THE OFFICE. Regal gives Saturn a hardcore title match to punish Test for associating with Shane. Regal gets Saturn fired up over dogs eating applesauce of kumquats to save the ozone layer. Saturn knows it is applesauce, but Test has been telling people it's kumquats. You're welcome.
Steve Austin comes to fuck with Michael Cole, who has been saying things that Steve doesn't like. It's very spousal abusey. Austin eventually beats the shit out of Cole while people in the front row laugh. Most of the crowd is booing, at least. That's a step up from a wild pop for stunning Molly. He really knocked the shit out of Cole, too. Just kicked the fuck out of him. Welts everywhere.
TO THE BACK. Steve goes to tell Vince about what he just did to defend Vince's honor. Vince wasn't in the locker room, though.
JR has replaced Cole. He suggests Cole get a good lawyer and sue Austin.
Saturn vs Test WWF Hardcore Championship
Saturn's brains are scrambled, but Test's ribs are all taped up due to a very stiff hit with a fire extinguisher last week. LOL at JR trying his hardest to come up with a PC way to call Saturn retarded. Would you believe Saturn got his bell rung again? Can you believe such a thing? This goes on forever. At least 5 times it seemed like it was over, but kept going. The finish finally came when Test big boots a mop back into Saturn's face. "You know, if you tie two balloons to the mop, it'll look just like Terri."
TO THE BACK. Taker and Sara head to the ring. Kane lets them know he's got their back if some WCW guys show up on behalf of DDP. Elsewhere, it appears that Vince has left the building.
Taker and Sara Taker come to the ring to talk about DDP. Taker is going to put DDP at the top of his list of men he made famous. DDP pops up on the Titan Tron, giving a tour of Taker's house.
DURING THE BREAK. Austin found that Vince left all of Austin's gifts at the building.
Tajiri vs Taka Michinoku
BJW represent. Too bad this was a short squash.
Dudley Boyz vs Chris Jericho/Chris Benoit WWF Tag Team Championships
Let's get this over with. Maybe we'd be better off if the other 3 were dead, too. Fuck the Dudley Boyz. Fuck Chris Jericho. There are table bumps and ref bumps. Austin hits Benoit with the title, giving the Dudleys the win. New champions. Finally. But fuck the Dudleys.
TO THE BACK. Austin catches up with Vince, who left to go to the ER with Michael Cole, trying to talk Cole out of sueing Vince and his company. He still might sue Austin, though ,and if he does, Austin is on his own. Austin is on his own at KOTR, too. Vince is giving Austin an ultimatum: Austin either leaves with the title at KOTR, or they're breaking up.
Not a particularly good go home show, probably because I'm not particularly into the storylines right now.
Austin/Jericho/Benoit got old and over exposed 2 weeks ago. Spike in any role is death. Edge and Christian bicker, accidentally hit each other, then team up again at the next show. Kurt and Shane really has no build. I still don't know why they're feuding. DDP being the stalker is a shot in the arm for the Invasion...but it seems like it's a separate thing all together. No one cares about X-Factor vs Hardys repeatedly. In theory, a lot of these should come to a conclusion at KOTR. In theory.
Announced card for KOTR:
- Steve Austin vs Chris Jericho vs Chris Benoit WWF Championship
- Kurt Angle vs Shane McMahon Street Fight
- Kurt Angle vs Christian KOTR Semi-Finals
- Rhyno vs Edge KOTR Semi-Finals
- KOTR Finals
- Jeff Hardy vs X-Pac WWF Light Heavyweight Championship