Lucha Underground 2/10/16



After a recap of the last two weeks, Vampiro recaps some more. Dude looks and sounds like he's about to pop.


Bengala vs Kobra Moon

First off, Kobra Moon is an awesome name. Bengala looks like an embarrassing Tiger Mask knock off. Vampiro talks about time travel in the Temple. Matt Striker reminds us that the gender roles are blurred. If they were actually blurred, he wouldn't have to mention that every week. They'd just have men and women fighting and bring no attention to it. But so far, Matt brings it up every chance he's had. It makes even less sense in this match as Kobra Moon isn't really a woman, but an ancient deity in the form of a woman. This match seems heavily edited. And as cool as Kobra Moon SOUNDS, she looks terrible in the ring. Even with the editing. Kobra gets the win with a dragon sleeper variant in easily the worst match of the season so far. As a time traveling ancient serpent spirit in human form, you'd think Kobra would have learned how to wrestle at some point.


TO THE OFFICE. Fenix demands a match with King Cuerno. And after he's done with Cuerno, he's coming for Mil...and Catrina.


A MILLENNIA AGO. The seven tribes were at war. The only thing that could reunite them was the gods in human form, but that would not happen for another one thousand years. A luchador decides he can't wait and time travels to the future to save the past.


TO THE GYM. King Cuerno is getting pumped when Catrina interrupts. She's not pleased that Cuerno did not destroy Fenix. She wants him to kill Fenix tonight. Last Luchador Standing. The hunt...is on.


Jack Evans vs Drago

Drago returns to the temple, more dragon than ever. Should be some crazy shit in this. Striker dropping rap references is the worst shit. The first episode of the season had him more serious and it fit the show much better. He's already back to annoying as shit references and nerd dude. It takes a while for any flying to take place, with Drago being the first to score a dive. Jack wins with a victory roll with his his foot on the ropes for leverage. Jack grabs the mic, gets on the announce table, and announces himself as Jack "The Dragon Slayer" Evans. This didn't get crazy, but this was the opener to a feud, so I can forgive it. Evans has some of his BOLA 2015 swagger, so he should be great this season until someone literally kills him.


A hype video on Texana airs. It covers his time in LU, AAA, and on the ranch. And getting into a bar fight with luchadors. He returns to the Temple next week.

 


TO THE RESTROOM. Prince Puma has a moment of prayer in the mirror. Catrina interrupts him. Catrina implies that Konnan is dead, which makes this the greatest show of all time. Puma will fight Pentagon next week. Perhaps Puma will make a sacrifice to his master. God rest his soul. Note the Illuminati graffiti on the walls.


King Cuerno vs Fenix Last Luchador Standing

Their first match had a lot of crazy shit. I would expect this to take it up a notch. LU has only had one last luchador standing match, and Cuerno won that. Fenix scores the first big move of the match with a springboard rana, but then completely misses a dive. Vampiro seems to have no idea how the rules of this kind of match work. Little Fenix gets his ass kicked all around ringside. Mil Muertes has some weird reactions during the match. Fenix hits a crazy springboard 360 dive. Then a 720. A ladder comes into play. Then a table. Cuerno tries to follow Fenix up the ladder to the top of the office, only to be kicked off, splattering through the table. Fenix wins! 


TO THE POLICE STATION. As it turns out, Cortez Castro was an undercover police officer who was sent to get close to Chavo Guerrero and Blue Demon Jr. last year. Captain Vasquez doesn't care about any of that. She wants to know where Dario Cueto is. Castro is too deep to pull out, but she's sending in someone to clean up his mess.


Match wise, this show wasn't that good. Particularly Kobra/Bengala. But story wise, shit has opened up. Actual deities in human form, time travel, said time traveler presumably coming to current day to win the Gift of the Gods Championship and uniting the seven tribes, and undercover police officers as wrestlers in the temple on the hunt for Dario. Terrible shame Joey Ryan is one of them. Also terrible is Matt Striker, who is back to being as bad as ever and trying to make me not like this show. Fucking time traveling luchadors! 

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