D-Generation X: In Your House 12/7/97
I wonder who had the idea to make a DX themed PPV, make the PPV music be the DX theme, and then have DX in two separate matches to use said DX music.
Brian Christopher vs Taka Michinoku WWF Light Heavyweight Championship
This is the finals of a tournament to crown a new Light Heavyweight champion. The title had actually been around since the early 80s, but almost exclusively defended in UWA and later NJPW, which means at one point, the WWF and WCW cruiser titles were part of the J-Crown and defended together. On WCW TV. WWF decided they'd jump on the cruiser train a year after it had become one of the hottest things in WCW, and thus, a tournament was had. Brian's music is wrong. I can't put my finger to who it belongs to, but it is about the most generic Attitude Era entrance theme possible. Jimmy Johnston slept walk through that music. I feel like it might have ended up being Droz's theme. Brian Christopher is such a shitty alternative to the WCW cruisers. It's not like he's a Dean Malenko type or anything. He's a straight up stoogy Memphis heel. He's essentially a more athletic, but less talented Jerry Lawler as an anchor for the division when WCW had Rey/Eddie/Ultimo/Juvi/Psychosis/Jericho/Benoit/Dean and all the random luchadors. These two basically ARE the division. When you look at the names in the tournament, they're mostly small white dudes who don't even wrestle junior style. Anyway, at some point, Brian gets his mouth busted open. Taka does some dives and dropkicks. I will say this for Brian: His version of the Skull Crushing Finale is much better than the ones Miz and Jericho do. But as an anchor of the cruiser division? No way. Stroke. Those two moves are pretty much the same thing, Brian. Brian Christopher would have been perfect for the WCW TV Championship, though. This is fine, but nothing about it makes it a light heavyweight match besides Taka doing a couple of dives. Compare this to the Taka/Sasuke matches from the Summer. Ugly German suplex to poor Taka. Taka's music is dope, by the way. Taka hits the Michinoku Driver OUTTA NOWHERE. New champion! Pretty underwhelming finish to crown the first ever champion. Brisco, Patterson, and Garea present Taka with the championship.
Los Boricuas vs Disciples of Apocalypse
FUCK. After the Screw Job, Crush left the WWF, so Fake Undertaker is now the leader of the group. Faker Undertaker and the Harris Brothers. Possibly the worst stable of all time. And Savio, the leader of the Boricuas and best dude on that team, isn't even in the match. Why did the Boricuas go from zoot suit style gear to carpenter jeans and t-shirts? Miguel apparently blows his knee out doing a double ax handle. Maybe it was his ankle. Savio tries to take his place. The ref won't let him. Wait a minute. Miguel was faking it. SWERVE! He waits for Chainz to hit a DVD on his partner and then hops back in the ring to hit a leg drop. Well...that makes no sense. His plan was to fake an injury and then wait for 5 minutes for one of DOA to hit his finish and then sneak back into the ring? That's weird.
TO THE CUNT. Dok is with Butterbean and his manager and trainer. Bean has a tough man rules fight with Marc Mero tonight. Bean had a fight on PPV the night before. What kind of commission would allow him two fights in two nights? Only in America.
TO THE COLE. Cole is with Sable. As Cole is talking and trying to set up a video package on Mero, the camera just zooms in on Sable. Then the package on Mero airs, which includes footage of his amateur boxing days. Sable was at the Butterbean fight last night and held up the title. Mero shows up and asks if he gave her permission to do this promo.
Marc Mero vs Butterbean Tough Man Fight
I don't remember this AT ALL. I remember the Taka/Brian match, the HBK/Shamrock match, and HHH/Sarge, but I sure don't remember anything about this match or feud. Bean's music is HEAVY on the sax. I suppose this is probably the inspiration for the Brawl For All. Boxing corner pads, rules, and ropes. LOL at Chioda doing "Let's get it on". Mero tries to spend the first round stalling in the ropes. Bean punches him out of the ring. Round one ends. Mero takes a cheap shot after the bell. Round 2 starts with Mero choking Bean with athletic tape. I don't think full clinches are legal in boxing are they? Nor are kidney shots. Bean apparently got a thumb to the eye, or perhaps Mero has something on his gloves. Regardless, Mero certainly won round 2. Mero hits a dropkick after the bell. Lol. Then he runs away. Round 3 has Bean pissy and throwing heat. This is weird. It's a worked boxing match on a wrestling show. LOL Bean has a straight up wind up punch that puts Mero on his ass, but Mero is saved by the bell. Round 4 starts with another big Bean punch. Mero hits a low blow and is disqualified. Then he attacks with his stool and bails.
Luna and the Artist Formerly Known as Goldust come out. Goldy reads us a poem he wrote. It's Sam I Am and he reads it alternating between a baritone voice and stereotypical gay voice. Eventually, Luna knocks him on his ass and drags him away by his dog collar and chain.
TO THE COLE. Cole is with LOD. 2 weeks ago, the NAO defeated LOD for the tag titles. LOD are going to FUCK THEM UP tonight. The NAO reminds Hawk of a deeply embedded booger in his right nostril. AWWWWWWW WHAT A BOOGER.
Legion of Doom vs New Age Outlaws WWF Tag Team Championships
"Green Eggs, Ham, and Boogers. What's next?" NAO do a lot of stalling. They do their entrance, then go to he back and do it again. Then they head to the back again, but officials and agents force them to the ring. Once the match starts, LOD dominates. Look, my opinion of LOD is that they weren't that good outside of squashes and their matches with Tully/Arn or the Steiners. LOD after 1989 is not an impressive team to me. I like the Powers of Pain and Demolition more. LOD in late 1997 feel outdated as fuck, and quite ironic since the WWF spent so much time shitting on WCW for old talent. At this point, LOD had been around for about 16 years and were definitely past their primes. And besides that, they hadn't changed ANYTHING in about a decade. They were stale as a team, as characters, and as wrestlers. LOD 2000 didn't help them one bit. Road Dogg randomly does the worm into a pin. NAO control Hawk for a while. Henry Godwinn ran down and busted Animal in the face with his bucket. Hawk took the bucket, hit the NAO, and then tried to hit the ref. He was disqualified for it. NAO win. Titles retained.
Sgt. Slaughter hype video.
TO THE COLE. Cole speaks with HHH and Chyna. HHH has a survival kit with him. Included are a comb, Metamucil, prunes, and Depends. HHH apparently is going to let Sarge's wife blow him after the match. That's very thoughtful, Hunter.
TO THE CORNETTE. Fuck. Corny speaks with Sarge, who calls HHH human excretion and is here to fight a scum, a slime, a maggot who insulted his family.
HHH vs Sgt. Slaughter Boot Camp Match
Sarge comes out to The Patriot's/Kurt Angle's music instead of his traditional snare drum music. Sarge is almost to his 30th year of wrestling, which again drives home the hypocrisy of the WWF making fun of WCW for old wrestlers. Sarge dominates the first portion of the match. 100% dominates. Things don't turn around for HHH until Sarge takes his signature corner bump. Sarge was 49 in this match. Older than Piper, Flair, Hogan, and Savage were at the time. HHH gets into a fight with the time keeper and drills him with the bell. He's dead. HHH has been solidly in control since the corner bump, but now Sarge is fighting back. Being that he's old and fat, he gets tired quite easily, though. Probably shouldn't be in a significant PPV match at 49 after not having a real match in 5 or 6 years. Cobra Clutch OUTTA NOWHERE! Chyna waits the whole match to get involved even though it is no DQ. When the ref gets in her shit, she lays him the fuck out. Then she gets a chair. Sarge throws powder in her face before she can use it. Back to the cobra clutch. Chyna punts that old, bald son of a bitch right in the dick for it. HHH wins with a pedigree on a chair.
TO THE COLE. Double J! He has returned to the WWF and is going to BERRY The Undertaker tonight.
Jeff Jarrett vs The Undertaker
Kind of weird that the camera men have focused on a particular SABU sign so many times during this show. JJ has too many vocal clips in his song. His ring gear is also stupid. Aztec Jarrett, I believe. JR is already hyping Taker as the greatest WWF Superstar EVER even in 1997. In December of 1997, Taker had had like 5 interesting matches in his 7 year run. Maybe 5 matches. All involving Foley, HBK, Nash, or maybe Bret if you're really generous. Those matches with Giant Gonzalez, Yoko, Kamala, and Mabel were not good. Basically, Taker didn't have a single match I'd ever want to rewatch before he started working with Mick Foley. I'd MUCH rather watch a Mean Mark or Punisher Dice Morgan match than an Undertaker match before 1996. At some point during this non-interesting match, the lights go out and The Damon Kane shows up. Kane attacks Double J after JJ encourages him to attack Taker. Then he punches Taker, who does nothing like a bitch. Kane shows off his pyro powers and then leaves. Jeff attacks Taker and tries to put him in the figure four. Taker chokeslams him for it. Jeff wins via DQ.
TO THE COLE. Cole speaks with Mark Henry, who is sitting in the crowd. He picks Austin over Rock.
TO THE CUNT. Dok talks with The Rock and the rest of the NOD. Rock is the most dangerous IC Champion of all time.
Steve Austin vs Rocky Maivia WWF Intercontinental Championship
Two things amaze me about this match. First is that they had Austin back in the ring 3 months after his neck injury when he clearly shouldn't have been back in the ring yet. Second is how quickly Rock got over as a heel. He was over HUGE as soon as he turned heel. Like, as soon as he turned heel, he was the most over heel in the company. Immediately. Austin drives his pick up truck to the ring. This is the first Rock/Austin PPV match. The rest of the Nation ambushes Austin as soon as he hits the ring. D'Lo is quickly back dropped onto the hood of the truck and hit with a stunner on the roof. I have no idea how a stunner on the roof would hurt D'Lo anymore than it would in the ring, but that's wrestling logic for you. Kama accidentally drills Faarooq in the head with a chair. Austin shouldn't have been back in the ring yet, but by this point he was able to take a couple of flat back bumps, which he wasn't able/didn't do at Survivor Series. The People's Elbow was a thing, but it wasn't over in any appreciable way. Austin accidentally stuns the ref thinking it was Rock. Rock has brass knuckles that never come into play as the stunner is enough to put Rock away even after a delayed pin from a second ref. This match goes about 5 minutes, Austin took 2-3 real bumps, has a soft belly because he hasn't been able to work out hard since the beginning of August. It's pretty clear he came back too early considering his 2 PPV matches after the neck injury were both under 6 minutes and had minimal bumps from an out of shape Austin. I think having Austin not wrestle until the Royal Rumble would have been the best idea. Coming back at Survivor Series to win the title only to hand it to Rock the night after this show didn't do Austin, Rock, or the title any favors.
TO THE CORNY CUNT. Corny speaks with Shamrock, who says he has a ton of PPV fight experience and he's going to make HBK cry like a baby.
JR got to talk with DX. HBK repeatedly calls him a fat fuck and then heads to the ring.
Shawn Michaels vs Ken Shamrock WWF Championship
A LOT of down time before the match. 3 separate, extended video packages, plus full from the locker room to the ring entrances for both guys. Big fight feel, friends. The DX gear might be HBK's best look. It looks rad, in addition to the tan, chest hair, and stubble. It's a good look. Then you have Shamrock, who looks like he's at least 75% HGH. A big kick to the chest sends HBK flying and rolling around ringside. He's getting his ass kicked. An Irish whip sends HBK bouncing out of the corner and rolling half way down the aisle. Chyna tries to run distractions and it doesn't work. Shawn holds on to Earl to block the belly to belly, and then he hits a low blow to get his first real offense of the match. THen he hits a cross body to the floor. Ken fights off HBK and HHH, but that damn Chyna is the deciding factor in this match. Finally, Shamrock starts CHARMING UP. It's cut short when the ring ropes attack him. Belly to belly. OUTTA NOWHERE! Ankle lock! HHH and Chyna break the hold and cause a DQ. A fan knocks HBK off the apron. Wait. THAT'S NO FAN! THAT'S OWEN HART! THE SOLE SURVIVOR! THE BLACK HART! He beats on HBK, tries to poke his eyes out, and then runs away through the crowd.
So, 3 DQs, 2 of which were in title matches, and 1 was the main event. Way to send the fans home happy. I wish Owen would have been given a week long title reign or something. With the Rumble coming up and Austin obviously being THE GUY, there wasn't much room for a title switch, but hot shotting it to Owen and then screwing him out of it the next week would have been rad and would have worked just the same for the feud with HHH afterwards. I guess this is kind of an improvement on the last few PPVs.