Big show today. A $5000 battle royal, Zambuie Express taking on 4 men. Eddie Marlin comes out to show the stack of cash and the trophy the winner of the battle royal will receive.
TO THE DAVE. Austin Idol comes out to receive the message Rick Rude has sent in via tape. Young Rick Rude is so strange. Even with the muscles and mustache, he looks and sounds like a little kid. If Austin Idol doesn't apologize to him, he's going to find Idol in an alley and squeeze one out of him. A woman whose name I can't remember comes out with a written apology for Idol to sign for slapping him in the face. Rick Rude won't return to Memphis TV until the apology happens. Idol has another message for her to send back to Rick: A forceful kiss that she fights off until she starts to like it. Wait. He wants to give Rude a kiss from him? Take away the forcing yourself on a woman thing, what message is he trying to send Rick Rude? It seems to me that Idol wants to give Rude some dick.
Jerry Lawler vs Randy Savage Southern Heavyweight Championship
Why wouldn't you announce this match at the start of the show? Mention the big matches and then fail to mention probably the biggest match you can have in the promotion? A lot of stalling from Macho. Both get some closed fist punches in. Follow the rules, brehs. Lol at King dropping down like 5 times before he hip tosses Macho. There has to be a match where that goes on for multiple minutes, or even the whole match. I want to believe such a match exists. The crowd is really on Macho's back, which appears to be bothering him greatly. Very basic studio match here. Don't expect some lost classic based on the names. King is working the arm. Macho is working the head/neck. Macho hits a piledriver while his pops had the ref distracted. King CROWNS UP, but then there's a ref bump. Macho is sent into Poffo, and King rolls up Macho. Poffo then breaks up the pin to cause a DQ. Title retained. .
TO THE DAVE. Jimmy Hart plays a video for the New Fabs. I don't even know who these guys are, but Jimmy Hart seems to be the weekly outlet for Jarrett/Marlin/King to get their pissiness out on the Fabulous Ones for leaving the territory. I guess the new Fabs are the old Bruise Brothers. Jackie Fargo sent in a tape announcing the REAL New Fabulous Ones: Eddie Gilbert and Tommy Rich. Jackie was drunk as fuuuuuuck during this. Tommy Rich could not look creepier.
Zambuie Express vs Jerry Lawler/Jos LeDuc Southern Tag Team Championships
Now, JJ Dillon had threatened to take the ZE and the title back to Florida with him, but granted one last title defense, but it had to be a team of his choosing. He picked the unlikely pair of Jerry Lawler and Jos LeDuc, who have had their issues over the past few months. This was from the Colosseum. Of course, it's clipped, but King and Joe did seem to work well as a team. Or at least work well enough. The managerial turf war between Jimmy Hart and JJ Dillon had led to King technically being a member of the First Family. Jimmy's interference backfires on King, and the dissension between King and LeDuc comes to a head. The match ends with members from both teams making pins at the same time, so the match was a draw, meaning the titles were held up and vacated.
TO THE DAVE. The ZE come out pissed to not have their belts, because anywhere else in sports, a draw means a champion keeps the title. JJ send in a promo, feeling he was set up by Jimmy Hart, Eddie Marlin, and the ref. A conspiracy, if you wheel. Now, JJ already has 3 contracts for the ZE to defend their titles in Florida, PR, and the Bahamas, but now those contracts mean nothing. This week, he's finally setting the ZE loose. 200 years of pain and misery set loose! SLAVERY! THEY'RE HEELS!
Zambuie Express vs 4 Jobbers
ZE won in like 2 minutes.
TO THE DAVE. King comes out to talk about the tag title stuff. He asks for Jos to come out. King just wants to make sure they're on the same page, because that's the only way they're going to be able to win the rematch. King is trying to convince Jos to dump Jimmy Hart. He does this with a music video of Jimmy Hart constantly fucking up. Jos agrees to try it without Jimmy for one week.
$5000 Battle Royal
I think it is 20 men. Maybe 15. Some of the guys in the ring: King, Macho, Barbarian, Dutch, Koko, Hillbilly Jim, I want to say Bugsy McGraw. King/Joe and the ZE eliminate each other first. Oh shit. Royal Rumble 1997 finish! It comes down to Dream Machine, Scott Shannon, Macho, and Dutch. Dutch eliminates Macho, but the ref didn't see it. Dutch eliminates DM and Shannon at the same time, then Macho slides back into the ring to eliminate Dutch. Macho Man is balling tonight! But then the replay is shown in the studio, and the ref reverses his decision. Dutch is $5000 richer! Macho busts Dutch open with a chair while Angelo and Jimmy steal as much money as they can. King and Idol eventually make the save.
Dutch gives Macho 30 seconds to bring his money back, or the next time he sees him, he's taking $5000 out of Macho's hide.
TO THE DAVE. Austin Idol and Bugsy McGraw show up. Idol hypes up his title match with Randy Savage Monday night. Bugsy is just a weirdo. He'll be facing Rick Rude. After a run down, Jimmy brings out The Moondogs. Jimmy pls.
Macho vs Dutch is going to be fire.