WWF Smackdown 7/19/01
The OLD STONE COLD returned on Raw, delivering a blistering ass beating to the Alliance. On the last stop before Invasion, how will the Alliance respond?
The Alliance comes to the ring to start the show. Starting to be a familiar thing. Paul basically blaming Vince Sr.'s death on Vince Jr. taking the business away from him. What the fuck. Lmao. The Alliance will bring back WRESTLING. No more sports entertainment. Also lmao at Jewish as all heck Paul Heyman giving the last rites in Italian to the WWF.
TO THE BACK. Chris Jericho enters Vince's office. He doesn't seem to care too much about getting blamed for killing his father. Because the OLD STONE COLD is back. Jericho asks if Vince heard the things he said about Steph on Raw. And then Vince calls his his own daughter a disgusting tramp.
DDP vs Chris Jericho
Shout out to 1/5/98 Nitro. The difference being this time, DDP is the joke mid carder who gets his ass beaten every week. When DDP gets destroyed by Taker and his wife every week, and then has a competitive match with Jericho, it makes Jericho look like shit, too. Nick Patrick refuses to count Jericho's pin, so Jericho attacks him and gets disqualified. Jericho puts him in the Walls of Jericho after the match. DDP comes back with a chair only to also get put in the Walls. Not only that, DDP also gets hit with the chair. DDP could not possibly be more of a loser. Can't even win with the ref fast counting for him.
TO THE OFFICE. Paul Heyman is sitting in Regal's chair. Is Paul wearing...cowboy boots? Paul offers Regal a spot in the Alliance. Regal was not very pleased. "And if you don't go right now, I will perform acts of violence on you that make a bloody devil cry!"
Lance Storm vs Christian
The UnAmericans...EXPLODE! Talking about a dude having no charisma is so stupid. Why would you ever do that to a guy? Especially before they actually made it his gimmick. Lance takes a cheap shot at Edge and then runs Arn/Tully spots with Awesome. Can't hate on that too much. This has a lot more going for it than Lance/Jericho did on last week's show. Edge spears Lance as Earl was fucking with Mike Awesome trying to interfere with a chair. Christian wins.
TO THE BACK. Vince is waiting in his office when Sgt. Slaughter comes in. Sarge has some news. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN IS HERE! Elsewhere, Torrie and Stacy oil up. Nick Patrick comes in saying he's a team player and will ref the arm wrestling match later tonight.
TO THE OFFICE. Regal is still ranting about Heyman to Tajiri. Tajiri will be teaming with Taker/Kane against the Dudleys and Rhyno. Tajiri is marking out, bro. "Hey, what the hell is wrong with him?" "He's foreign, don't take any notice of him." "Oh." Lol.
TO THE BACK. THE OLD STONE COLD enters Vince's office. "Stand up, damn it! Give me a hug!" "I don't want a hug." My how the roles have been reversed.
Dudley Boyz/Tazz vs Tajiri/Kane/Undertaker
Boy, I feel like Taker is going to win this match by himself. Fucking LOOOOOOL at Tazz trying to German suplex Kane. He's the same size as Tajiri. But god damn at the velocity on the head and arm suplex. What do you know, Taker demolishes team ECW as soon as he gets involved in the match. Tajiri gets caught in the Tazzmission. Taker immediately chokeslams Tazz and wins the match. None of his three opponents got a single offensive maneuver on him. Two of them are in the main event with him at Invasion.
TO THE BACK. Trish and Lita have each other's backs tonight. Earl Hebner comes in to say he's going to be the ref in the arm wrestling match. Then Trish more or less calls Torrie Wilson a cawksucka. Which is pretty hypocritical considering her angle for like 5 months was she's fucking Vince.
Bradshaw vs Sean O'Haire
I have a feeling Sean is going to get hit very hard. WTF, why is JBL doing random magistral cradles? Chuck interferes, Sean hits the Widow Maker, and...JBL kicks out. Because why not kill the dude's finish in a mid card match to build up to a PPV match. They do another interference spot that doesn't end in a win, and then AGAIN, this time with JBL booting Chuck and hitting the clothesline from hell to beat Sean. WCW ain't shit.
TO WWF NEW YORK. Lita had an autograph signing, where she was met with a young, bawling AJ Lee, who would go on to marry Lita's ex boyfriend.
Torrie Wilson vs Trish Stratus Arm Wrestling Contest
Nick Patrick and Earl Hebner are out for this, as well as Stacy and Lita. OF COURSE, the refs and the broads all got into a brawl.
TO THE BACK. Vince lawyer called while he was talking with Austin. As it turns out, Vince's divorce is on hold. What a wonderful night!
Jeff Hardy/X-Pac vs Kidman/Rob Van Dam
WERKRATE, BREHS. Pac and Jeff work pretty well together, surprisingly. I was definitely expecting them to do the "can't get along, lose the match" shit. They even did a poetry in motion bronco buster to Kidman. RVD countered the X-Factor by doing the splits, and Kidman hit the Kid Krusher for the win. RVD continues to be the only Alliance dude who can get a win, and Kidman got to benefit from that.
TO THE BACK. Vince has a guitar for Stone Cold. Austin tunes it for him, then smashes it over his head. THE OLD STONE COLD. Elsewhere, Shane and Steph hype up the Alliance.
Elsewhere elsewhere, a trainer checks on Vince. Kurt barges in worried about him, but Vince feels fine. because THE OLD STONE COLD is back!
Booker T/Rhyno vs Steve Austin/Kurt Angle
The last ECW and WCW champions against the current WWF champion and former WWF Champion (and Olympic Gold Medalist). Kurt starts before Austin comes out and is immediately CRUSHED with a GORE GORE GORE. Austin comes out and just as quickly destroys Rhyno and Booker. DDP pops up on the tron, putting Debra in the trunk of a car.
TO THE BACK. Undertaker jumps DDP, but is then attacked by the Alliance. The whole roster seems to be brawling back there. Austin steals a limo to chase DDP. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!?!
Back in the ring, Kurt Angle was about to win the match anyway. The Dudleys hit the ring and Rhyno hit another gore. The WWF has clearly won the brawl in the back. The Dudleys hit a 3D through a table to end the show.
I've never seen a heel stable booked to look so pathetic. They can't even get wins with MULTIPLE interference spots. It takes at least 5 guys from the Alliance to take down 1 WWF guy. I don't think it's a coincidence that RVD has been kept away from guys like Taker, who would no doubt make him look like dogshit like he's done with every member of the Alliance, even guys that had been working with the WWF for years at this point. Undertaker is the biggest piece of shit during this whole thing. Refuses to make anyone look good in the least. Really, the only guy making Alliance guys look like a threat is Angle.