NJPW New Beginning In Osaka 2017
Remember all those tags in Sapporo? Hopefully they get paid off in Osaka.
Taka Michinoku vs Henare
Dawgs, how is Taka still using his WWF music in NJPW 20 years later? I fuck with Osaka crowds, brehs. I'm willing to fuck with Henare, he's got a good look. Handsome young chap. Very short, very basic young lion vs vet match. Taka won with an eye poke into a roll up.
TenCozy vs Yoshitatsu/Kushida
Unless Kojima lays Kushida out with a lariat at the start of the match, I'll pass. And since it didn't happen, I pass. Kojima pinned Yoshi with a lariat.
Juice Robinson/Jushin Liger/Tiger Mask IV/Yuji Nagata vs Chaos
The Chaos in question tonight includes Gedo, Jado, Goto, and Yoshi-Hashi. Frick. I'd be down for Goto vs Juice/Liger/Nagata, though. It's still hilarious to me that Goto had this big "I'm a fucking loser and I can't lose anymore" type of storyline where it seemed like he was gonna win the IWGP Championship from Okada only to...decisively lose and then join Okada's stable. And now his entrance video includes clips of him getting smashed by Okada. Lol. Seems like there might be a Goto/Liger match being built in this, which sounds fine to me. Would watch. Juice tries to make up for his loss in Sapporo by almost immediately busting Got's mouth open. I have to lol that the English announce team for NJPW calls the Ushigoroshi a neckbreaker while the WWE announce team (even sans Mauro Ranallo) call it the Ushigoroshi. Juice pins Jado with the Pulp Friction, aka the Unprettier aka the Kid Krusher aka the Tomakazi.
Suzuki-Gun vs Chaos
Frick. More Taichi. More Kanemaru. More Beretta. More Rocky Romero. At least this includes Suzuki and Okada. Hopefully Suzuki will kill Beretta in front of Okada just to be a dick. How the fuck did Trent Beretta, of all guys released by WWE, get a fairly big role in New Japan? Why the frick is Trent Baretta getting to go toe to toe with Suzuki? He's a fucking junior and a WWE jobber. He shouldn't be getting into strike battles with Suzuki, and getting the advantage in the end. The fuck? For some reason, Okada is selling the leg more in this match than he did the title match in Sapporo. Kanemura wins with PRINCE IAUKEA'S FINISHER. Lmao.
Hiroshi Tanahashi/Manabu Nakanishi/Ryusuke Taguchi vs Los Ingobernales de Japon
NEVER 6 Man Tag Team Championships
Lol at the face team coming out as a parody of LIJ, which means Tanahashi playing air guitar with a green baseball bat. Nakanishi throws Bushi over the ropes while having him in a torture rack. God damn do I hate Taguchi. Fuck. FRICK. Just give me Sanada vs Tanahashi. Get rid of these other dudes. Sanada out here doing dropkicks to the taint like that isn't weird. Taguchi spends a lot of the match in the ring, which means this match sucks by default. Nakanishi is hit with the black mist and put in the dragon sleeper to end the match. New champions. Sanada is going to be a big dude for NJ in the next few years.
Katsuyori Shibata vs Will Ospreay British Heavyweight Championship
I'm excited for a Will Ospreay match for the first time. Just because I'm very ready for him to do some stupid flippy shit and get kicked in the face. Shibata continues his WOS reversals to fuck with Ospreay. I'd love to see him do a 450 or something. Do a double moonsault double stomp, uce. Man, Ospreay is a fucking goof. Doing a SSP to the floor just to do a kick. Enjoy your knees when you're 40, you fuck. This is a dude who hits a space flying tiger drop about 2 minutes into a match. Build to your spots, shit head. Willy keeps mocking Shibata, and that obviously comes back to haunt him. Fucking loooooool at Ospreay trying to do a strike battle and crumpling on the first strike from Shibata. A lot of this match is centered around Ospreay getting cocky, getting blasted, then going after the taped up shoulder/knee of Shibata instead of trying to fight him. Shibata catches the springboard cutter with a rear naked choke, chokes that limey fuck out, then hits him with the PK to retain his title.
Chaos vs GHB vs Suzuki-Gun IWGP Tag Team Championships
Pass. Yano again retained the titles with a roll up OUTTA NOWHERE.
Dragon Lee vs Himoru Takahashi IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship
These guys had some hot sequences in the 10 man tag in Sapporo, so this should be fun. Give me some lucha fuckery. The whole first minute of the match is a strike exchange/respek stand off and a dive. Dragon Lee is really bringing the dickery, which is nice when a face is being a dick head to a dick head heel. Then Takahashi hits a sunset flip apron powerbomb. Man, I know the leaping apron rana is super common in lucha right now, but it's never not an oh shit move. These dudes have no regard for their well being, just crazy bumps. Flying apron bumps to the floor, back body drops from the top rope to the floor, running off the apron and getting powerbombed. Trading German suplexes like they ain't shit, landing on their heads constantly. Pure lucha fuckery. And unlike something like Ospreay/Ricochet, they actually feel like they're having a match instead of super choreographed flippy shit. JESUS CHRIST DRAGON LEE IS DEAD. Went for the apron rana again and got hit with an apron powerbomb and that's followed with a standing senton from the top rope to the floor that saw Dragon Lee's head get stuck in the railing. These little brehs are crazy. Takahashi pulled Dragon Lee's mask off! YOU RUDO SON OF A BITCH. Yo wtf, a Canadian destroyer counter out of a last ride. Takahashi eventual wins with the Time Bomb, a wacky powerbomb/slam thing. Title retained. That shit was crazy. Taguchi came out and challenged Takahashi, then put him in an ankle lock. Good luck topping that, you fucking cunt.
Tetsuya Naito vs Michael Elgin IWGP Intercontinental Championship
Naito's new mask is dope as hell. Like a mix of a skull, bear, and oni. Naito so dope he can get me to watch Elgin matches. Elgin has answers to all of Naito's shit for the first few minutes of the match. Naito takes a gnarly bump off the apron into the guardrail. Somehow, Elgin catches a Naito dive into a stalling suplex, which included walking up the ramp in the process. The fuck. Naito is definitely at least 200 pounds. Naito goes after the eyes and the knee, hoping to take out the base of the stronk man. It doesn't really stop Elgin from still smashing Naito when he gets a little space. What's really weird here is that Elgin is selling the knee better in this match than Okada did in the Sapporo match with Suzuki. Eglin's power spots definitely look a lot more impressive against a guy like Naito as opposed to AR Fox. Elgin throws every bomb he can at Naito, but he can't put him down, all leading to an apron air raid crash. Fans are dying for Elgin to win the title, and they lose their shit when Elgin kicks out of Destino. Jesus Christ the guardrail powerbomb looked like it hurt. Nothing will put Naito down. Elgin resorts to attempting a Burning Hammer, which is countered into Destino. Naito finally wins after two more Destinos. Title retained.
A much better show than the Sapporo event. Even the pre-intermission filler matches had more effort. The last two matches especially were rad, and Ospreay/Shibata was pretty fun as well. Why we're living in a world where a Michael Elgin match is better than Okada vs Suzuki is beyond me, but this is the world we live in. Junior match was insane.