WWF MSG 12/22/91
In a rare case, Vince himself is doing commentary for a MSG house show. He hasn't done this in years. The reason for this is because this show will have the very first ever meeting between Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan. It's a big night.
Tito Santana vs Kato
Tito was El Matador at this point, but hadn't dropped his actual name yet. Kato tries to attack before the bell and pays for it. Brain and Lord Al are also helming commentary duties tonight. Lord Al could probably be doing something else. He was pretty shitty at commentary and as an interviewer. He was best served doing promo ads. Really not much of note here. A very basic opening match. Much of the match was arm bars. Tito won with a Flying Burrito to the shoulder.
Kerry Von Erich vs The Berzerker
Zerk dominates the opening minutes with a huge big boot and a flying shoulder block. Then he misses a dropkick,, but the KVE misses a shoulder block in the corner. And then Berzerker is counted out in about 2 minutes to a chorus of boos. Well. I guess that's it.
Skinner vs Virgil
What a superstar match. Lol, Vince claims that Virgil is one of the top contenders in the WWF. To what? Top jobber? Virgil starts the match large and in charge. How weird that Steve Keirn went from heartthrob to whatever the fuck Skinner is. A gross dude. With a huge bald spot. Can you not be a heartthrob while balding? I mean...MOST dudes are balding to some extent. Poor Virgil takes a hard bump to the floor while Brain laughs. Scorpion Death Drop! Virgil got his foot on the ropes. This old, fat ref is garbage. Vince BERRIES him as being fat and out of position, too. Virgil wins with a sunset flip.
Hulk Hogan vs Ric Flair
The main event 25 minutes into the show. Makes sense. This is the first ever meeting between these two. In theory, this is like the biggest match in US history at this point. Flair has the "real" World Championship with him. It's clearly the WWF Tag Team Championship. The distortion over it is very dodgy and you can clearly make out the tag title multiple times. Vlad the Superfan is super hyped for this match. This match starts with Hulk chasing Flair around the ringside area and Flair on offense. The crowd is SUPER hot for this. Hulk unleashes a series of chops and a corner clothesline. Flair Flop! This is as hot as any MSG crowd 7 years in either direction. Suplex on the floor! Oh shit, Flair gets knocked through the guardrail and into the crowd momentarily. Axe Bombaaaaa. Flair fucking up the Flair Flip as early as 1991. TWICE. After the second time of fucking up, Flair decides he's ready to leave. Hulk won't let him. Eye pokes everywhere. Both guys are cheating dicks. Flair gets slammed from the top, which must have sucked a lot more in the super stiff WWF ring. Boot boot! Leg drop! Hulk wins! Wait no, Flair had his foot on the ropes. Flair basically no sells the leg drop as he's on the offense seconds later. Mr. Perfect arrives late and fucks with Hulk, wrapping his leg around the ring post after Flair did the same thing. Figure four! Ric Flair is going to win this thing! Perfect hands Flair some kind of international object. Flair drills Hulk with it. RIC FLAIR PINS HULK HOGAN IN MADISON SQUARE GARDEN! Then Tony Garea and Dave Hebner pull the object out of Flair's tights and the decision is reversed. Hulk then beats on Flair and throws him out of the ring. That's not fair to Flair at all. So many dudes win by cheating, but officials only come down when Hulk loses. Hulk brought a kid into the ring to celebrate with after the match. This was pretty fun. The super hot crowd definitely helped, because the match itself didn't really have a lot going on. But it was a lot of fun while it lasted. It also wasn't their traditional formula they'd use in WCW for every match, so it had a different feel.
The Barbarian vs Jim DOOGUN
Ew. Duggan. Fuck. FUCK. Hopefully he eats a boot to the face during this. Tough guy. I have no idea why Barb didn't get a huge push in the WWF. He could have been the next top monster heel for years. Before the match, Barb throws his jacket thing at Doogun, only for Hacksaw to beat it with his board like it was still alive. Now my question is...why does Duggan hate animals? Nothing really happens in this match besides Duggan proving that he doesn't actually know how to take a bump. Most of the fairly short match is a bear hug. Doogun wins with a weak clothesline out of the corner OUTTA NOWHERE.
Bret Hart vs The Mountie WWF Intercontinental Championship
He's DA MOUNTIE! Mountie's music sounds like it could be from an episode of Twin Peaks. Mountie won't let Bret get inside the ring, so Boss Man shows up and attacks Mountie from behind, stealing his shock stick in the process. Brain is right: That wasn't right. Bret dominates the opening minutes (since Boss Man attacked Mountie before the match) and things only change when Mountie eye rakes his way out of a back breaker. Bret responds with eye pokes and biting of his own. Bret takes a hard shoulder to the ring post. Sternum bump moves the ring. Mountie continues to cheat, because he's a real piece of shit that way. Mountie is just having some fun! A lot of hair pulling offense from Mountie. A lot. He even uses a chair right in front of the ref. The ref doesn't even give a shit. Bret eventually gets sick of Mountie's shit, beats the shit out of him, and wins with the second rope elbow. Title retained.
IRS vs Big Boss Man
Lol. No need to watch this. It's going to be 90% IRS doing the abdominal stretch/choking spots, and 10% Boss Man pulling on Irwin's tie. Bubber starts with the tie offense. Irwin is drenched in sweat already. It's been like 3 minutes, dude. For some reason, Earl is very insistent on Boss Man not ramming IRS into the turnbuckles. I don't know why. That's not an illegal move. Boss Man misses a Stinger Splash and ends up smashing his balls into the ropes in the process. NOW it's TAX TIME. Abdominal stretch! That chinlock is a choke, ref. Do something about it. Instead of preventing Boss Man from using the padded turnbuckles, maybe you should break the clear choke hold you sack of shit. Maybe you should give some thought to why the bottom rope is bouncing around as if someone just had their foot on it. Earl Hebner is the worst. Boss Man takes a delayed bump on a kitchen sink. It looked weird. Boss Man briefly locks on a Tazmission. He should have won with that. No one points out how odd it is that two men are wrestling each other in slacks and button up shirts. Mountie runs down and hits a flying knee to the back of Boss Man. Bubber didn't appreciate it one bit and decks him for it. However, IRS waffles Bubber in the back with his briefcase to steal the win.
The Rockers vs Nasty Boys
Nasty Boys in the true main event. WTF. These cunts. A ton of stalling from both teams to start the match. There is a lot of talk about the Rockers not getting along lately. We'll see if that plays into the match at all. HBK and Sags begin the match. So much stalling. You'd think that after a 2 hour show, the main event would have more action to keep people entertained. Knobs is such a piece of shit. Can't believe he's not dead yet. This has a slower pace than the iron man match. No dissention has been shown by the Rockers, and nothing really has happened in the match. This is house show as fuck. HBK is stuck as FIP and in chin locks and bear hugs for what feels like a half hour. He finally gets the hot tag to Marty. Marty has a small package. The other Nasty rolls it over. Then Marty rolls it back, and HBK rolls it back again having somehow not realized Marty was back in control. Nasty Boys win. The Rockers left separately after arguing. Dreadfully boring.
Flair vs Hogan is the only thing worth watching here, and was the only thing anyone cared about anyway. It was fun, the crowd was stoked for it, felt like a big match. Everything else ranged from dreadfully boring to fairly inoffensiveish.