Random Joshi Stuff

Bull Nakano vs Manami Toyota 7/21/90

Bull's music is so rad. Some straight up bad guy turns into a hulking monster after breaking out of his suit boss level music. Toyota attacks from behind before the bell. Bull doesn't give a fuck. This mat looks super slippery and hurty. The first few minutes have some of my favorite spots: Small wrestler runs into big wrestler and bounces off. It happens a lot. Bull has that solid base. All the dropkicks and cross body blocks in the world aren't going to phase her. She bumps for a drop toe hold, but sarcastically just to fuck with Toyota. Then just wrecks her roots. Nasty crossface chicken wing that gets turned into a dragon sleeper. Bull gets tired of these weak ass forearms, so she punches Toyota in the eye and LIGHTS HER THE FUCK UP with kicks to the head. Bull is That Cunt, friends. Just mean as fuck. Piledriver. This is a mauling. Toyota gets some distance and hits a missile dropkick and top rope cross body. That shit doesn't last long because seconds later she's crushed with a back drop driver. She kicks out, though. Top rope leg lariato from Bull. Guillotine leg drop misses. Victory roll! Bull gets dumped to the floor. Toyota tries a dive and completely misses. Bull was not having any of that shit. Despite the beat down, Toyota won't stay down. Lariatoooo. Toyota sells it by breaking her neck. Folding powerbomb gets Bull the dominating win. God damn, what a beating.


Aja Kong vs Akira Hokuto 8/24/94

Lol at the weird Mr. Brownstone as performed by the orgy love children of RHCP and Faith No More for Aja Kong, who enters in a fucking space ship. Holy SHIT this entrance and stage is HYPE. Imagine PRIDE with double the budget. It's fucking rad. Akira also gets her own space ship, with lasers and an entrance theme that would be perfect in Sonic & Knuckles. She has two mini versions of her carrying her coat tails. These entrances are hot shit. #bigfightfeel. Akira is wearing all white, which likely means she's going to be bleeding a ton in this. Weirdly, she's crying before the match. The match starts with two LOUD slaps and a handshake. That's Japanese as fuck. The first move of the match is a tiger suplex from Akira. Aja responds with a back drop driver. They spend the next few minutes trading submissions, with neither woman getting a solid advantage. Then they get into a slap exchange. Aja won that. Brutal piledriver. Aja is scary as shit. Like, Bull is one bad bitch, but Aja is almost machine like in her brutality. Bull has a bad attitude. Aja is just a wrecking ball. It's more unnerving. She goes after Akira's leg with nasty kicks and half crabs. Aja tried a suicide dive...thing and missed. Akira hits a top rope hilo in response. Aja appears to have injured her knee or perhaps ankle. She screams on the floor as the ref and ringside doctor check on her. The magic mist and some tape will fix that right up. Aja struggles to get back to her feet and in the ring. Akira shows no mercy. What a strange turn this has taken. Aja Kong is now the underdog fighting from behind. Screaming and wailing in pain. So weird. It's actually pretty uncomfortable. After two Northern Lights Bombs, Aja hits a desperation Uraken. She's unable to hit a suplex and ends up dropping Akira on her face. Then she hits a Northern Lights Bomb of her own before missing a second rope splash. Reverse powerslam from Akira. More like a reverse brainbuster. This match is nothing like what I expected. Aja Kong is essentially the scrappy underdog baby face in this now. Well, until she actually gets a hold of Akira. Then she breaks Akira's face with Urakens and back drops. Three Northing Lights Bombs in a row get Akira the win. What a strange match. It was a real injury and apparently a similar thing happened the year before, but with Akira getting injured and continuing.



Bull Nakano vs Aja Kong Steel Cage Match 11/14/90

The women start fighting in the pre-match promo. Aja comes out in street fight gear. This shit is about to get real. Aja jumps out of the cage with a pair of scissors, cuts a chunk of Bull's hair, and then STABS HER IN THE HEAD OVER AND OVER. Then they take out rows of chairs before actually starting the match. Once in the ring, the cage is immediately put to use. Walloping lariato from Bull. Then the lights go out. IT'S SABU! Oh. Never mind. The lights just went out for a few seconds. The first Uraken misses. The next TWENTY or so connect. In a row. Bull is busted open, face all smashed, looking crazy with her paint and hair. This is some Brock/Cena shit, but with spinning back fists instead of German suplexes. Oh shit, Bull has...some weird nun-chuck stick. Bull hits her own back fist. Then another lariato. Pump kick. SHE'S BULLING UP! Pancake Norton! Some dick throws a metal trash bin into the ring. Bull wears it the fuck out on Kong's head. NUN-CHUCKS! God damn. Right in the fucking face. Another wicked lariato. They aren't even really lariats. They're like wrists to the head. Aja is also busted open. Headbutts and piledrivers. This is rad. This is what cage matches are supposed to be. Just a violent, bloody war between people that hate each other. Not faces trying to escape the cage 5 minutes in. Bull is flying all around this mug. Leg drops, disaster kicks, flying knees. Kong uses the weapons to attack Bull's legs so she can't keep jumping off the ropes. Someone slides the scissors in to Bull. She repeatedly stabs Bull's arm. Some of the women at ringside start fighting as well. Chaos. You got other wrestlers climbing up the cage, including Madusa, who got her nose broken by Bull. A big rope is thrown in the ring and Kong literally tries to murder Bull. This is insane. The women finally start attempting to win this thing. A chain is thrown in. Madusa is still fighting at ringside. This shit is turning into a scene from a Hellraiser movie. Now some giant stick. Bamboo, maybe? Dangerous piledriver to Kong. Holy shit. GUILLOTINE LEG DROP FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE. And Bull immediately bounces to her feet and climbs out. What a fucking war. This might be the best cage match I've ever seen. Incredible match. A fight breaks out in the ring after the match between a whole host of the women. 


Megumi Kudo vs Shark Tsuchiya 3/21/97

This is in FMW. Shit will probably get violent. Kudo starts with some ass based offense and follows with a suicide dive. Then they head out into the crowd. Chair duel in the ring. Then we get a number of moves onto the chair. Oh shit, is that a barbed wire wrapped kendo stick? Shark hits a back drop driver. Someone slides a chain in the ring and Kudo might die. The chain is wrapped around Kudo's neck, then being the turn buckle pad. This opens Kudo up to get completely fucked up. SCYTHE TO THE HEAD. Kudo is sliced open. Of course. I don't need this Mrs. Pogo shit. A Japanese table is propped up in the corner. Kudo fires up with some offense. It took three  tries, but she finally hit the tiger driver. Razor's Edge doesn't break the table. Neither does a standard powerbomb, although it came close. Shark pulls up the pin. Shark hits a piledriver on three chairs. She pulls up the pin again, hits another piledriver, then wins with a huge powerbomb. I don't like this sleazy shit.


Kana vs Chihiro Oikawa 2013

This match starts with some MOOEY TIE kicking. Oikawa lands a kick to the tits. Kana doesn't appreciate this and slaps and knees the shit out of her for it. This turns into some pretty slick mat work. Kana gets full guard and tees off with slaps and elbows. She seems like she has a bad attitude. Very MMA influenced, at least compared to the previous matches I just watched. It's almost shoot style. Oikawa has a dope arm bar and she works it hard. Rolling DDT guillotine. Triangle is locked on. Is Kana going to Rampage Bomb out of that? No. She does manage to get out of it and into full mount, though. She tries her own arm bar, but there is a rope break before it is fully applied. They get sick of the mat work and start squaring off with kicks. Kana catches one and then catches a pop up knee in the face. DEEP guillotine locked in by Oikawa. Kana gets out and hits a dope German suplex. Big head kick from Kana. Things devolve into a slug fest. IS this shoot style? There are 10 counts for every down and I haven't seen a single pin attempt. God damn, Kana punts Oikawa's jaw off. Kana wins via KO.


Bull Nakano is both That Motherfucker and That Cunt. That cage match is tremendous. Very strong contender for best cage match ever. I enjoyed all of these except for the FMW match. That trashy, sleazy shit. But Bull Nakano. God damn.