SenorLARIATO Gives Stro Some Shit To Watch
A collection of matches culled by SenorLariato/Bootaaay of shit I probably haven't seen.
HARASHIMA/Konosuke Takeshita/Tetuya Endo vs Kota Ibushi/Daisuke Sekimoto/Yuji Okabayashi DDT 1/25/15
I know some of the dudes in this. The fatties and the twink. Just looking at the teams, this looks like an extended squash waiting to happen. Ibushi and HARASHIMA begin. I think. HARA is the dude with trash bag pants? I want to see one of these fatties crush someone. Yuji is he first one in the ring, so hopefully he can fulfill my wishes. You've got like 120 pounds on this dude, why are you doing tests of strength and why is it even? The chop battle isn't as even. You can't out chop a strong fatty. Endo doesn't figure this out until it is too late. Ibushi has apparently spent too much time in NJPW because he's much more of a dick than I recall in my limited DDT viewings of him. I'm pretty okay with it, as one of my favorite things in wrestling is Japanese dudes being cunts. The team of knowns pretty handily control these 3 I don't know. Ibushi is coming of a 5 star match with Nakamura at WK9, so the idea that he'd be putting these dudes over is lol. Okabayashi looks stronger than he appears to be. He had trouble press slamming a dude who probably weighs 170 pounds. To be fair, he is noticeably less solid looking than Sekimoto. Why does this dude have stop lights on his tights? Missile dropkick from a fatty! These fat dude chops must SUCK. I don't think I like Okabayashi. He doesn't sell his size enough. Dude is getting thrown around and losing tests of strength to a junior. HARASHIMA does a float over superplex to Ibushi and let me tell you, Barry Windham he is not. A really weird strike battle with HARASHIMA and Ibushi, because HARASHIMA was punching Ibushi in the collar bone for his strike. Stereo torture racks! Oh no, the fatties accidentally hit each other with lariatos. Is that a bootleg Gedo I see? Lol. Sekimoto murders a dude with a German suplex. Then murders a different dude with two lariatos that he kicked out from. Deadlift German suplex gets the win for the Fatties and the Twink. The opposing team did nothing at all to impress me, and I was quite annoyed at how little these two hulking dudes did to protect their size. Scott Norton wouldn't have let a cruiserweight drill him with half nelson suplexes and kick out of crushing lariats.
Eita vs Jimmy Kagetora 1/25/15 Dragon Gate
I haven't seen Dragon Gate in a long, long time. Let's see if I can handle that style again. A lot of chain wrasslin to start. Then Jimbo hits a kick that might have been low and the match grinds to a halt for a bit. Eita responds with some wacky shoulder submission. Eita continues to focus on the arm until Jimmy hits a moonsault to the floor. Now I remember why I bailed on this stuff. As physically impressive all the speed and rolling and flipping around is, it looks dumb as shit to me from a wrestling perspective. Eita wins with what is basically a Rings of Saturn, but using your legs instead of arms to apply the hold.
Shuji Ishikawa vs Yuji Okabayashi BJW World Strong Heavyweight Championship 2/2/15 BJW
What a great name for a title. But what a shitty ring. Christ. It looks like it is made out of staph infections. I like seeing big dudes run into each other and not budge. Yuji finally wins that contest. Cannon ball! From a fatty. This heads into the crowd. Shuji takes out about 3 rows of chairs. Then he recovers and hits a double stomp from a ledge. Ho no, Yji lariated the post! Shuji goes to tear that arm apart. Then he gets pissy during a strike battle and head butts Yuji and kicks the shit out of him. Yuji gets all fired up. Lariatoooo. He's able to power through a suplex. I enjoy seeing big dudes hit each other and sweat fly everywhere. That's dope. TTD/Michinoku Driver thing from Shuji. He tries a running knee. Yuji counters it into a torture rack. Shuji quickly gets out and locks on a rear naked choke. Yuji powers out. Dueling lariatos. Chops vs elbows. The eternal struggle. Yuji ends that shit with a lariato. Then he goes up top for some reason. Seems like a bad call, friend. Shuji catches him and hits a big superplex. Fatty rana! Dragon suplex. Running knee. 2 count. Fire thunder driver! Yuji kicks out. Bateaster Bomb! Series of headbutts. Koppo kick from Yuji! Lariatoooo. Yuji bomb. Fatties throwing bombs. Superfly Splash from Yuji! We got us a flying fatty, Maggle! Slapping fatties! Shuji nearly wins with a Rainmaker headbutt. Running knees. Shuji wins. Title retained. This was a lot of fun. Especially the finishing stretch, which was just non stop fat dudes throwing bombs.
Atushi Aoki vs Kotaro Suzuki 2/20/15 AJPW
This is my first viewing from the new AJPW. I haven't even seen the old AJPW in probably 10 years. I remember both of these dudes in NOAH, though. Pretty solid indie respek battle. Fast, furious, and intense. Suzuki hits a spinning head scissors, but misses a dive. God. Doing a plancha and landing on your feet on the floor makes my knees hurt for a week. Fuck. Seriously, my knees will hurt for an hour if I jump from the second step of my stairs. Aoki uses the ring post to fuck Suzuki's arm up and sticks with that. Suzuki hit a pretty dope running knee in the corner and then an inverted calf brander. Huge missile dropkick right to Suzuki's shoulder. Aoki attempts a superplex. Suzuki counters it. I think. Looked like he probably took more of the move. Elbow suicida. Avalanche cross arm breaker! Dope. This some how turns into an indie roll up sequence. Rampage bomb from Suzuki! Tombstone. Suzuki tries a tiger driver and Misawa elbow tribute. Aoki ain't playing that shit and lays him out with lariatos and back drops. Gory Special Drop. Aoki kicks out. A big elbow uppercut puts Aoki down. This was pretty fun.
Tomohiro Ishii vs Tomoaki Honma NEVER Openweight Championship 2/14/15 NJPW
I'm sure these guys are going to try to give each other brain damage. Why the fuck has Ishii still not taken time off for his shoulder? Strike battle 1. Honma wins it and promptly misses the kokeshi. Twice. Ishii then beats the brakes off of him. So many forearms. Strike battle 2. So many chops. Honma wins that exchange as well. Kokeshi connects! The struggle over a suplex goes to Ishii, who gets up with some blood on his lips. Honma blocks the superplex with a neck whip thing. He follows up with a blockbuster. I can tell he's a fan of Buff. A chop apparently hit Honma in the throat and he fell like a stone. Powerbomb. Superplexuuuu. Oh no. A DDT just broke Ishii's...everything. Lariatos. Honma wins that battle as well. Top rope kokeshi...TO THE FLOOR. Honma is a moron. Dude is going to have so much brain and neck damage. Back in the ring, Honma can't end it with a lariat. Ishii hits a big back drop. Superduperplexu. Lariato rush. Honma won't stay down. Probably because the brain damage prevents it. Deadlift brainbustaaaa. Ishii kicks out. Also probably due to brain damage. Fire thunder driver! Man, these dudes. Brain damage everywhere. No doubt about it. Strike battle 3. I don't like the headbutts. Please stop the headbutts. Ishii finally gets the win with a brainbuster. Title retained. If you like seeing guys beat the living shit out of each other, this is about the top level for that.
I enjoyed the last 3 matches. Wasn't at all into the 6 man or DG match.