WWF Judgment Day: In Your House 10/18/98
Al Snow vs Marc Mero
Jeff Jarrett comes out and attempts to be the referee for the match. Or join the match. I'm not sure. Nor do I care. Jeff and Al apparently have a feud brewing. So why didn't they have a match? King says shit like Al Snow is so weird that his wisdom teeth were retarded. I know the world was dying for Johnny B. Badd vs Avatar. I was, at least. This was my dream match. So happy to see that it happened. Al wins in a completely nothing match with the Snow Plow. Of note is that Mero has ZERO heat without Sable. Zero.
EARLIER TONIGHT. Austin arrived but was forced to go to the referee locker room.
Disciples of Apocalypse vs LOD 2000
Droz and Paul Ellering are the other partners and FUCK THIS SHIT. Droz got the pin after Animal and Hawk hit the Doomsday Device. Freshly out of rehab for painkillers Hawk was pissy about it.
Christian vs Taka Michinoku WWF Light Heavyweight Championship
I don't think this title has been defended on PPV since WM in March. It's October. I doubt Taka has even defended it since July or August when he turned heel since the only other cruisers in the company were Kaientai and Too Cool. This is Christian's first official match despite debuting at last month's PPV. So this is another heel vs heel match with no build or story whatsoever. Unsurprisingly heatless match, even with dives and big bumps. Christian looks so stupid with that hair and puffy pirate shirt. Christian wins the match and the title with a small package in his first WWF match. New champion.
Val Venis vs Goldust
Dustin is back to Goldust. Okay. Fine. It's some lazy shit to start this video with the same video as their previous match. You see, the whole time Goldy was saying "He's coming back" and talking about the messiah, he was actually talking about...Goldust. Pretty stupid, but it appears to work as Goldust is more over than he had been in a long time. At least this match has an angle. A nice change for what is apparently heel vs heel. I mean, I assume Val is a heel since he went out of his way to fuck a dude's estranged wife just to be a dick. Goldy focuses on the arm of Val. Maybe he should focus on his 3rd leg instead. Val also focuses on Goldy's arm. This match has some vaguely puro elements to it, including a brief forearm strike battle. I thought Val wrestling puro style matches on Raw was really weird since he came from a lucha background, but then I found out he wrestled for AJPW and it all made sense. He uses Misawa's running elbows, Kobashi's taunt, and Akiyama's exploder and blue thunder bomb. Anyway, Goldy wins via a kick to the Big Valbowski. DAMN IT, THAT DICK HAD A FAMILY.
D'Lo Brown vs X-Pac WWF European Championship
Dope. These two are pretty much the best in ring dudes for the Attitude Era, so I'm down. D'Lo has the weirdest lock up. D'Lo controls the pace with his size and stengf. X-Pac gets his balls destroyed doing the bronco buster. Seems like a really easy spot to fuck up. Leg lariat. Running Liger bomb! D'Lo had some dope moves. Always one of my favorites in No Mercy. X-Pac tries the standing version of the bronco buster and also misses the move, but does hit the camera man. The third attempt finally works. Chyna gives D'Lo a shot to the head for fun. Ref bump! Mark Henry storms to the ring. He's coming right for Chyna's booty. D'Lo hits Kid in the face with the title. X-Pac kicks out! D'Lo comes off the top rope. X-Pac counters into the X-Factor. New champion!
TO THE COLE. Dope denim shirt, Cole. He breaks a rumor that Paul Bearer has been seen entering Taker's locker room. Then the Headbangers interrupt, make a gay joke about the Outlaws and then say the NAO will be doing the J-O-B on the PPV.
New Age Outlaws vs Headbangers WWF Tag Team Championships
Gross. I can't watch another Headbangers match. Headbangers win by DQ when Road Dogg busts a boombox on Mosh's head.
TO THE COLE. He can confirm that Paul Bearer has entered Kane's locker room. Mankind shows up with Socko, BERRIES the shit out of Ken's promo ability. Foley's promos were just fucking weird from the Summer of 1998 on.
Ken Shamrock vs Mankind WWF Intercontinental Championship
Shamrock immediately starts working the leg of Foley. He then switches to the arm and they scramble on the mat, with Foley briefly getting full guard. Frankensteiner! From Foley! JK. Dude could barely walk even at this point. Rear naked choke from Mankind. For real this time. Shamrock easily breaks it and gets into full guard where he pounds away. Things fall to the floor. Shamrock blasts Mick with a chair, which is what started this feud to begin with. It was right in front of the ref and Chioda didn't care at all. JR tries to cover it by saying Chioda was trying to cut Foley a break and not end the match by DQ so he could win the title. Belly to belly! Mankind low blows his way out of the ankle lock. Double arm DDT. Boma Ye. Cactus Clothesline. Cactus Elbow. The crowd is really dead for this. They were significantly hotter for Val/Goldust. Mick again does his powerslam into the steps spot, but it looked safer than usual. Ankle lock is applied in the ring. Instead of tapping out, Mankind applies the mandible claw to himself and passes out. Fink announces that Shamrock wins via mandible claw and Shamrock flips his shit. Title retained. Shamrock got to eat Socko after the match.
TO THE COLE. Cole is looking for a chat with Vince. The Big Boss Man will not allow it and threatens to sodomize Cole with his big black night stick.
Mark Henry vs The Rock
Mark spoke a poem to Chyna before the match. Mark pins Rock with help from D'Lo in a very short match. Nice sign: THE ROCK SMELLS LIKE A TITTIE.
Kane vs The Undertaker WWF Championship Special Guest Referee: Steve Austin
If Austin doesn't crown a new champion, he'll be fired. Holy SHIT that reaction for Austin. God damn. Austin won't count for Taker, but gives fast counts for Kane. The only thing interesting here is Austin's shenanigans. The Brothers of Destruction just aren't on the same page for this match. Eventually, the brothers get tired of Austin's shit and start beating him up. Paul Bearer comes out and offers to hit Taker with a chair. But then he hits Kane. SWERVE! Taker saves Paul and drills Kane in the head with the same chair. Austin won't count the pin. Stunner and chair shot to Taker. Austin counts both men down and announces himself the winner of the match. He then calls Vince out to fire him. Vince doesn't show, so Austin heads to the back to find him.
TO THE BACK. Austin can't find Vince anywhere in the back, so he comes back to the ring.
Vince is behind the screen at the entrance, like mother fucking Blofeld. Someone throws a shirt or something at him. "Stone Cold, SCREW YOU, YOU'RE FIRED!" Fans start pelting Vince with trash as he rolls his little ragged carcass back there in his wheel chair. You ain't seen the last of ol' Stone Cold. Austin gets some beers and almost fell trying to get back into the ring. JR calls Austin the greatest single competitor in the history of the WWF. But he's also said that about HBK, Bret, and Taker. WHO IS TRULY THE BEST, JIM?!
"He was the greatest of all time." Seems premature, Jim.
D'Lo/X-Pac was a lot of fun and Val/Goldy was more interesting than entertaining just for how differently the match was worked than most at the time. Everything else was hot dog shit. Fuck the Attitude Era.