WWF In Your House 1

The debut of a revolutionary concept in pro wrasslin PPVs: Shorter run time, lower price, no encores.  Oh no, DOK HENDRIX IS CALLING THIS SHOW.  FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCK.  True to form, he seems to imply that he's going to crash in the house of whoever wins the house give away whenever he wants.  Because no matter what name he's going as, Michael Hayes is a scum bag.

 

Hakushi vs Bret Hart

Bret had a quick pre match promo and dedicated the match to his mother.  The show was on Mother's Day.  Hakushi shows off his agility by rolling and doing cartwheels.  It's intimidating.  Cartwheels are always intimidating.  The Kush works Bret's arm.  Bret does his own arm work.  WE GOT US A DUELING ARM BAR, MAGGLE.  Some miscommunications early in the match.  Bret ends all that with an elbow to the head.  SHOOT hip toss.  Arm drags everywhere.  Hakushi bails.  Hayes seems to be a heel.  Or at least happy to see cheap shots.  Sternum bump.  Vader Bomb gets a 2 count.  King is watching in the back as he'll face Bret later in the night, regardless of who wins this match.  FACE FULL OF STUFF FACE FULL OF STUFF.  Bret takes a weird bump to the floor and Sato takes some cheap shots.  Hakushi chokes Bret in the corner as Sato distracts Tim White.  Remember when he had weekly skits of trying to kill himself?  And it was done a month after Eddie died?  And then ended up with Josh Matthews getting shot?  That was a weird time.  Handspring elbow from Hakushi.  Not as good as Muta's.  No one has ever done it as well as Muta.  Tiltawhirl backbreaker.  Diving headbutt.  I really don't get the concept of the diving head butt.  Seems like it would always do more harm to the guy doing the move.  Always.  Bret dodges a springboard splash and unloads on Hakushi.  Russian leg sweep.  Bulldog.  Diving elbow.  Sato distracts Bret from the Sharpshooter, but Hakushi can't get away from the lariatoooooo.  Sato continues to get involved, so Bret dives on his ass and beats the shit out of him.  Both guys take a hard fall to the floor struggling over a suplex.  An Asai moonsault appears to destroy Bret's knees.  Back in the ring, Bret reverses a German suplex into a victory roll for the win.  Divas Special!  

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TO THE BACK.  King tries to get his match with Bret right now.  Todd tells him that Bret is on his way.  King bails because he got a page.  Stan Lane and Madusa were on the phones.

 

TO THE STEPHANIE.  Stephanie is about to draw the winner for the In Your House House Raffle at In Your House.  She pretends like the set is the actual house.  Which makes no sense for a few reasons.  One, the set clearly isn't a real house.  Two, the show is in New York and the house being given away is in Florida.

 

Jeff Jarrett/The Roadie vs Razor Ramon

This was supposed to be a tag match, but the 123 Kid got injured and Razor demanded the match not be called off.  Kid did call in and didn't want to talk to Michael Hayes.  Quick pre-match promo from Razor during Jeff's entrance.  This is apparently the first handicap match of Razor's career.  I guess it is the first ever handicap match on a WWF PPV as well.  Razor and Jeff start the match and Jeff is quickly knocked to the floor.  Jeff goes back on offense in the ring, only to miss a dropkick and he's sent right back to the floor.  Jeff pulls Razor out and Roadie gets a sneak attack from behind in.  Enziguri from JJ.  Oh shit, fall away slam.  Roadie is tagged in.  This might be his first match in WWF.  Certainly no more than 3.  He goes right to town on Razor.  Jimmy Del Rey inspired dancing.  Disgusting.  Jeff is back in and nearly loses to a small package.  He quickly tags out.  Then he's back in and gets out of the Razor's Edge with a back drop over the top rope.  Roadie flies out with a clothesline off the second rope and Razor appears to be down and out on the floor.  Kind of weirdly booked match where Razor can't get any offense on Roadie, but Jeff gets the shit knocked out of him when he's in the ring.  Razor rolls through a cross body for a 2 count.  Dropkick from Jeff.  Do you think JJ will hire Scott Hall for GWF?  Jeff misses the flying tea bag.  Is that Jaime Kennedy in the front row in the Charlotte Hornets Starter gear?  Double noggin knocker.  Hot tag to the Roadie.  Second rope knee drop.  Roadie is by far the strongest booked guy in this match.  Jeff tags in, but Razor is SLICING UP!  Just punching the shit out of everyone.  Back superplex to Road Dogg.  Jeff tries for the figure four.  Razor shoves him off, sending him into Roadie and Roadie off the apron.  Razor's Edge!  Razor gets the win.  Boy, Jeff was made to look like a total putz while Roadie was booked stronger than Razor and Jeff.  Roadie got one after the match just for fun.  BUT WAIT, Jeff chop blocked Razor and put him in the figure four before the move could be completed.  ALDO MONTOYA makes the save and gets a beat down.  Eventually a brown fan jumps in the ring and saves Razor.  That's all we know about him.  He's brown.  Police escort him away.

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TO THE BACK.  Jerry Lawler is arguing with Jack Tunney and what appears to be a very old Buddy  Rogers, but I'm not positive on that one.

Sid hype video.  Followed by some shirt shilling, including a Bret Hart shirt where the SELLING POINT was that it has stuff on the back.  They call it an "all over" shirt.  Because it has stuff on both sides.  

 

Mabel vs Adam Bomb King of the Ring Qualifier

This is basically a squash match.  Adam has a flurry of offense for a minute and a half and then gets smashed with a powerslam.  Mabel advances to the KOTR.  

 

TO THE TODD.  Razor introduces us to his good friend, Savio Vega.  

 

Smoking Gunns vs Yokozuna/Owen Hart WWF Tag Team Championships

King tries to get his match with Bret to happen right now while Bret is still hurt, but agents take him TO THE BACK.  Billy and Yoko start the match.  Bart is quickly in and headbutted down.  Owen tags in.  Press slam.  Dropkick.  Dropkick suplex combo.  Billy is in and god damn does he look disgusting with his mustache and mullet.  Just fucking gross.  Lariato from Yoko.  Shit does he look terrible.  He had to have gained 80 pounds or more from WMX to WMXI.  Yoko runs into the ring post like a fatty.  Not much going on here.  Bart takes a hard bump through the ropes.  Billy decks Corny.  Yoko drops a leg on the floor on Bart.  Owen gets the pin.  Titles retained. ALL BY HIMSELF.

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TO THE BACK.  Todd catches up with Diesel.  This is his first Mother's Day without his mom, who passed shortly after Christmas last year.  Sid says he's the master, but Diesel is the walrus.  Goo goo goo joob.

 

Jerry Lawler vs Bret Hart

King said he'd bring his mother out with him.  It's a 20 something year old hottie and he wants to fuck her.  I think that explains some things about King.  Another quick pre-match promo with Bret.  His knee is 100%.  He wasn't hurt at all.  It was all a SWERVE!!!  A SWERVE all along!  RUSE!!!  Bret does a beat down for about 2 minutes and then gets hit while a piledriver, which he no sells and goes back to the beat down.  Bret hits his own piledriver.  Nice BOB HOLLY COULDN'T DRIVE A GO CART sign.  Sato comes out and distracts the rope.  Earl is half in the ring and an Irish whip gets his foot tangled up in the ropes.  Bret has the pin but Earl is out of place like usual.  Hakushi runs out and breaks the pin.  Then hits a diving headbutt.  And another.  Earl is now free.  King does a jackknife pin and gets the win.  

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TO THE BACK.  Sid's chin fills the screen as he rambles about some stuff.  The go home Raw had him talking about a lion who was "the greatest of ever...of all time".  

TO THE IN YOUR HOUSE RAFFLE FOR A HOUSE AT IN YOUR HOUSE.  We get one last look at the house.    And the winner is...I don't know because Todd dialed the wrong number.  And the winner is...Matt Pompacilli!!!!!!!!!!!!  In Nevada.  He won a house in Orlando.  Anything can happen in the WWF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Diesel vs Sid WWF Championship

I hope this ends like their Starrcade match.  Sid randomly stares down Vince.  Stare down.  Sid gets shoved right on his ass.  Nash doing Stinger Splashes all up in this mug.  Sid bails and Nash comes out with a double ax handle from the apron.  Short arm lariatoos don't take Sid down, but a leaping one does.  Sid bails again.  Sid needs Ted to distract Diesel to get on offense.  A knee to the back sends Diesel over the top rope.  Snake eyes on the apron.  Surely these guys should be counted out by now.  A few times.  Running Orton Punt!  Sid is focusing on the back that Henry Godwinn injured on Superstars.  Camel clutch.  It's broken.  And then reapplied.  Diesel won't be counted out.  Chokeslam.  Powerbomb from Sid!  Sid takes too long to make the cover and Diesel kicks out.  And now he's REVVING UP!  Snake eyes.  Big boot.  Jackknife.  Tatanka hits the ring and causes a DQ.  DiBiase also jumps in and lays in some boots.  Sid goes for another powerbomb.  Bam Bam runs in to make the save.  Title retained via disqualification.  

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Bret/Hakushi was definitely the match of the night, even though they had quite a few miscommunications and never really seemed to kick it into high gear.  The rest of the show was...a New Generation show.  I appreciate Nash showing a lot more energy than usual trying to make up for Sid.  One of the dark matches was Owen vs Bulldog in a 15 minute draw KOTR qualifier.  That should have been on the show instead of the tag match, Mabel vs Adam Bomb, and Bret vs King.

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