WWF Monday Night Raw 4/19/93
TO THE BACK. Money Inc. bury the Beverlys by saying if the Mega Maniacs couldn't beat them, then they have no chance. Elsewhere, the Beverlys have their own promo. Both were done in profile for some reason.
Razor Ramon vs Virgil
JTG coming out to Virgil's theme is one of the greatest moments in WrassleGAF history. No doubt. At least in the top ten. Virgil tries to out wrestle the Bad Guy. He somewhat succeeds. Fall away slam is countered with a small package for a near fall. Virgil attempts a terrible school boy that would have actually taken Razor out of the ring if he properly applied it. No idea what he was thinking with that. Razor gets in control. So much swag from this dude. Maybe the most swag from any WWF guy ever. Razor's Edge for the win.
L.A. Gore vs Giant Gonzalez
Happy to see Gore again. He's got everything I like in a jobber. Bad gear, a curly mullet, gross mustache, and silly name. Giant quickly wins with a chokeslam.
TO THE BACK. Luna is apparently in a dungeon. She cuts a promo on Sherri.
Tatanka vs Art Thomas
Quick win for Tatanka. He continues his winning streak. Art kind of looks like Rene Dupree. Minus the priapism.
Money Inc. vs Beverly Brothers
This is a non-title match, but more importantly, a rare heel vs heel match. Starts out with a brawl. Ted and Blake start the match. BO tags in. And then out. Quick tags. I honestly would rather Bo Dallas be in this. Fuck the Beverly Brothers. Such fucking losers. I've never seen them do anything good. I've seen them in the WWF, AWA, and WCW. I've yet to see them have a good match. At best they'll have a "Decent, I guess" kind of match. They're just boring. And Ted in 1993 was definitely past his prime and ready to retire and I don't think IRS was ever really much of an interesting wrestler to begin with. Lots of quick tags from the Bevs, keeping Ted in their side of the ring. IRS gets a tag. Bevs are working as heels but really are the faces in this match. Unlike Martel vs HBK, this isn't interesting at all. Ted pins BO after BO accidentally clotheslined Blake. Would have made more sense to pin Black after that, but whatever.
TO THE McMAHON. Vince conducts an in ring interview with Bret Hart. Well, fuck. I thought Bret was going to wrestle. Vince does go out of his way to say that Bret is the people's champion, at least. You know, I think Bret has always been an underrated promo guy. I think a lot of it stemmed from being a face giving normal guy promos after an era of Hogan/Warrior/Macho coked up insanity. I don't think he was bad at all, and I really enjoyed his promo work in WCW much more than his ring work. He says he's not done. He's lost the IC Championship and tag team titles twice. He's not a beaten man. The first guy on his hit list is Lex Luger. Lex attacked Bret at the press conference before WM. Jack Tunney is looking into an investigation on Leg's elbow/forearm. It might be more than bone. Bret isn't a bodybuilder, he's a WRESTLER and he's going to show Lex what's up. He even says he's coming for Yoko and Hogan. The original plan was for Hogan to drop the title to Bret at Summerslam. Hogan decided Bret was too small and he didn't want to drop it to a face anyway, so they decided to have Hulk drop the title to Yoko at KOTR with the wacky finish. And the only time Bret/Hogan ever happened was on Nitro and it was just an angle to fuck with Sting.
Phil Apollo vs Bam Bam Big Yellow
Doink comes out again to spray people with his umbrella. You see, it's funny because it is an umbrella that SQUIRTS water instead of protects from water. Complete squash. Apollo didn't get any offense. Bam Bam literally squashed him with a senton. Diving headbutt for the win. Bam Bam did another one after the match just for fun. As Bam Bam went for a third, Friar Ferguson came out to prevent it. Friar sends Bam Bam out of the ring with a dropkick.
Next week will feature Crush vs Lex Luger. Fuck.
I would never be able to do these with out drinking.