WWF Monday Night Raw 3/22/93
We're back in NYC and Vince is back. Sounds like a terrible card tonight. I'll let it unfold naturally for you all.
Bushwhackers vs Damian Demento/Repo Man
God damn. It'd be hard to come up with something much worse than this. The Bushwhackers are up in the rafters, licking people. It takes a whole commercial break before these shitheads are even half way to the ring. They sexually assault the large Raw Girl. Show is off to a great start. Licking and sexual assault. And now ass biting. More sexual assault. Great. If there is a garbage worse than hot garbage, this is it. In addition to the wrestling being garbage, so was the officiating. Bushwhackers win. They have the balls to lick Fonzie. That's a risky endevour.
Tatanka vs Reno Riggins
Reno attacks before the bell. Tatanka responds with a huge back drop. These are some really solid mullets. A legit 6'3. Reno unloads some chops in the corner that just fire Tatanka up. Some of Tatanka's chops are fucking rough. End of the Trail for the win.
We're shown a tribute video to the recently deceased Andre the Giant. The first ever inductee into the WWF Hall of Fame.
Money Inc. vs Scott Prince/Jeff Armstrong
Vince immediately messes up the names of the jobbers. Ted and Terrible Hair start the match. Lariatoo. Man, this guy is BAD. I'm not sure he even knows how to bump. Bartlett has a TV on top of his monitor and is flipping through to see the competition. Irwin hits a suplex on No Hair. Macho threatens to shove the TV up Bartlett's ass, in a PG kind of way. A lot of quick tags from Money Inc. IRS wins with a lariatooo.
TO THE WRESTLEMANIA UPDATE.
Doink vs Kamala
Doink has a new hair style tonight. This is a garbage show. Doink gives Kamala a present and rolls back into the ring while he's distracted. He wins by count out. And there was nothing in the package. SWERVE. Kamala chases Doink under the ring. Doink grabbed a chair and hit what he thought was Kamala, but was clearly a giant metal post. Kamala sneaks around and chases Doink out of the arena.
The large Raw Girls are lined up behind Rob. He calls one of them diarrhea. then he makes out with one. What the fuck, Vince.
Fucking terrible show. Luckily it was only 36 minutes.