WWF In Your House 14: Revenge of the 'Taker 4/20/97
Legion of Doom vs British Bulldog/Owen Hart WWF Tag Team Championships
I can't believe Hawk sold the stalling suplex. Really can't. Definitely expected him to pop right up. Owen gets all bounced around, as you'd imagine. Owen and Bulldog get bumped into each other. Animal hits an avalanche powerslam. New champions! A second ref comes out and says Bulldog was not the legal man, so the match must continue. Of course, the champs don't want to come back, but if they don't they'll forfeit the titles. LOD had another win that the ref missed. As they were about to get the win again, Bret Hart came out and caused a DQ.
TO THE CUNT. Big Mike got some words with the tag champs. No luck involved, cunt. Stone Cold arrived during the match, which Owen and Bulldog don't believe.
TO THE SUPERSTAR ROOM. Sunny and Brian Pillman are probably about to bone while shilling the hotline.
TO THE HERMIE. Kevin spoke with Rock, who lost to Savio on Raw and got the shit whipped out of him by the NOD. Even if he loses tonight, he's had a great year so...I guess he doesn't care if he loses.
Savio Vega vs Rocky Maivia WWF Intercontinental Championship
Uguuuuu. Faarooq has an injured arm and joins for commentary. Heel Savio is somehow worse than face Savio. Rock had the match won with a Perfect Plex. D'Lo distracted the ref. Wait. Is D'Lo short for down low? Was D'Lo secretly a gay character? Hm. I'm going to have to watch more D'Lo footage to see if there are any stories that might hint that he was gay. Rock Bottom! It still wasn't a finisher yet. Crush pulls Rock out and hits the heart punch. Savio wins via count out. For real? A count out following a DQ, both in title matches? Russo, you son of a bitch. Savio and Crush get into it. Faarooq has to calm them down and everyone beats on Rock until Ahmed makes the save in pajamas. Ahmed talks about immigrants, convicts, and black asses of the NOD. Ahmed accepts the challenge to a NOD gauntlet match. "Ahmed wants to abolish the Nation of Domination, no doubt about that."
TO THE CUNT. PS gets words with Sable and Mero. Mero has had his knee injury, which is great for me so I don't have to watch him. During the promo, Austin walks into the men's room right behind them and a fight breaks out. Owen and Bulldog run out with bent piece of metal.
Jesse James vs Rockabilly
FUCK. Roadie wins with a roll up. Get the fuck out of here. How on earth was this a PPV match?
TO THE CUNT. Hayes shills an Undertaker door banner. I'm pretty sure he's wearing silver bowling shoes with a tux.
TO THE HERMIE. Austin refuses to not fight tonight, no matter how injured he is. Monsoon switches the card around to give Austin time to recover.
TO THE...LANCE WRIGHT?!? I forgot about his short WWF run. He's with the Hart Foundation. "What were you trying to perpetrate following Steve Austin into the bathroom?" Owen and Bulldog claim Steve started it. "The bottom line is...who's crying now?"
TO THE CUNT. Mankind and Paul are the guests. Mankind recently threw a fireball at Taker and I guess plans to do it again.
Undertaker vs Mankind WWF Championship
This feud has been going on for a year now. They've had two new gimmick matches just for them. This is just a standard match. Guardrail is getting some heavy usage. Into the crowd it goes. Come on, ref. Count them out. Taker loses control of Old School and does a flying clothesline instead. Mankind almost wins with an urn shot. A pitcher of water gets shattered on Taker's already burned up eye. Chair shot to the face. Vince can't understand why there hasn't been a DQ. The Cactus Elbow gets dropped from the second rope. I doubt Mankind was the true number one contender heading into this match. I find it curious that none of the matches between these two have had blood. Ref bump. Of course. Why wouldn't you have a ref bump in a title match? A second ref comes out and is immediately bumped. Paul throws a chair into the ring. Mankind gets the steps and gets them dropkicked back into his face. Taker hits a home run with the chair. The mask gets ripped off. My god, that's Jack Manson! Taker knocks Mankind off the apron with the stairs. HEADFIRST through a table. Well shit, that doesn't even make sense. Mankind kicks out even after a chokeslam. He falls to the tombstone. Title retained. Mankind tries to light a fireball that would accidentally hit Paul. He couldn't get it to light, so Taker just takes it and doesn't at all try to hide the lighter and paper and lights that fat fuck up. It probably was better for the storyline to do it that way instead of Mankind accidentally doing it.
TO THE CUNT. Mike talks with the Harts. Paul Bearer can be heard screaming in the background. Bret is a dope heel promo guy.
Bret Hart vs Steve Austin
Monsoon will not allow Owen or Bulldog to be at ringside. WE GOT US A FIGHT, MAGGLE. Austin whips that ass. Bret is thrown into both sets of stairs, guard rails, into the crowd, back to ringside. Ref bump like 4 minutes in. Bret tears apart the already injured knee with a chair. Monsoon is at ringside and not doing anything. Way to stand tall, prez. Ring post figure four! I'm not sure that actually does anything. Actually, it does the opposite of what a normal figure four does. The pain comes from the leg being straightened and pressure pushing it the knee the wrong way. With the ring post figure four, that doesn't happen at all and if it does anything, it's more pulling on your hip than anything. Most of Austin's offense since the ref bump has been chokes. Back into the crowd for a moment. Certainly should have been multiple count outs and disqualifications in this match. Austin is unable to hit a piledriver due to the leg work. He can hit a desperation Stun Gun, though. Austin counters the sharpshooter with his knee brace and then applies his own sharpshooter. Bulldog and Owen run out and get dropped. Bulldog comes back and hits Austin with a chair, getting Bret disqualified. Fucking for real? 2 DQs and a count out on a 5 match show? Bret tried to use the bell on Austin after the match. Austin drilled him in the knee with a chair and went back to the sharpshooter.
Maybe I've watched too many shows in too short of a time. It's making me ill. 5 matches. 3 non finishes. Run ins or interference in 4 matches. Title match not going on last. Sounds like Russo, alright.