WWF In Your House 11: Buried Alive 10/20/96

 

 

HHH vs Steve Austin

Weird random heel vs heel match to start the show.  This is in the middle of JR's heel turn and his headset not working is making him crazy. HHH and Austin take turns fucking with two fans in the front row.  Arm drag and the double birds.  That's how you do it, indie fucks.  This is from the old Market Square Arena, of which I have very fond memories of.  Saw a lot of Pacers games there. I was there the night Reggie shoved off Jordan to hit a 3 at the last second to extend the series. It was definitely a foul.  I don't give a FUCK.  The hypest moment of all time in that building.  The next night on Raw, Bret Hart returns and Mr. Perfect returns to in ring action against HHH.  This is prime Real Ass Stone Cold era.  He's just a no nonsense BAMF who will beat your ass and out wrestle you.  When you can hear JR, he's bitching or shitting on Vince.  Austin had been dominating until a knee to the gut from HHH.  Kind of interesting to see the career paths of these two.  The thing about this match is that no one gives a shit about HHH, but Austin is over as a face.  So...kind of like most of their careers for the next 6 years.  Austin hits the Stun Gun and flying elbow for 2.  HHH is replacing Savio.  Thank god.  Double lariatos.  King is starting to join with JR to fuck with Vince.  Mr. Perfect strolls out in his big blue DCAU suit. He tries to steal HHH's woman.  Then he does.  Austin and Perfect get into it for a moment.  Hunner takes advantage of the distraction, but throws the pedigree off to chase after Perfect.  Like a dumb dumb. Austin follows him out and gets suplexed. Austin wins with a stunner OUTTA NOWHERE.

 

TO THE CUNT.  Hayes asks the hard questions: SUNNY TITS BANGING DISTRACTION?

 

Smoking Gunns vs British Bulldog/Owen Hart WWF Tag Team Championships

Owen and Billy start the match.  Owen got a hair cut.  Sunny is watching in the back.  JR again intimates that she's a whore.  I don't like the Gunns and don't want to watch them do anything. I do enjoy JR riding Vince, though.  Although heel JR is not much different from podcast JR. Owen pinned Billy with a spinning heel kick.  Titles retained.  Hopefully this is the last Smoking Gunns match I have to see.

 

TO THE JR. JR takes the time to shit all over Vince for firing him twice.  He takes credit for bringing Bret Hart back to the WWF.  "He said he was gonna come back with a shovel because he's gonna BERRY some people."  REAL ASS JR.  He throws the mic to Vince and walks out.

EARLIER TONIGHT.  On the Free For All, Faarooq talked some shit about Ahmed, who promised revenge.  He got his revenge with a 2x4.  


Mr. Perfect comes out to replace JR.  

 

Goldust vs Marc Mero WWF Intercontinental Championship

Goldy is replacing the injured Faarooq. Perfect says ASS a bunch.  REAL ASS PERFECT.  REAL ASSES EVERYWHERE.  Marc Mero sucks.  Goldy isn't harassing enough.  Mero injures his knee doing a tope.  Seems like he injured himself on EVERY dive in the WWF.  LOL at Vince having to calm shit down at ringside and bitch to get the group to pay attention to the in ring shit.  My how the times have changed.  Goldy picks up a mic and says he's going to stick his tongue down everyone's throats.  "The only reason he's here is because of the WWF's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy."  Vince then makes fun of the US Army and Bill Clinton for LOLGAYS.  Uh.  Perfect does some stuff with Mero.  HHH comes back out.  The ref has to keep them apart.  Perfect decks Goldy.  Mero wins with the SSP.  Title retained.  

 

Sid vs Vader

HBK does some color commentary for this match, as the winner will face him at Survivor Series.  He takes Corny's hanky and blows his nose with it.  This is billed as the "Battle of the Powerbombs".  HBK sure sounds fucked up.  Vader squashes Sid in the corner and then puts his balls RIGHT in Sid's face.  Sid rolls to the floor and gets hit with the racquet and almost gets counted out from it.  Sunset flip from Sid didn't work.  He got an ass to the chest. Sid goes up top for a cross body...and Vader catches him WIT DA GREATEST OF EASE. Vader had it won with a second rope splash, but he pulled Sid up like a dip shit.  Then he misses the Vader Bomb.  Sid wins the battle of the powerbombs...with a chokeslam.  

 

TO THE CUNT.  Fuck him.  Piece of shit.  Hayes fucks up his promo, so Vince takes over to give out SS info.  Sid shows up to talk. JR interrupts and asks the hard questions to Sid.

 

Undertaker vs Mankind Buried Alive Match

Of course all of Taker's entrance smoke has filled the arena and takes a while to dissipate.  About a minute in, Mankind gets his brain scrambled on the guard rail.  Taker does his first ever dive.  From the top rope, not the tope. We're already out to the grave area. There is dirt and shovels.  Someone is about to get BERRIED.  LOL at Undertaker doing a rolling small package down the mound of dirt.  How goofy and weird.  "This is worse than the boiler room brawl."  Not possible, Vince.  Now we head back to the ring.  Marlena's director chair is still out there. Into the crowd. Taker does a dive over the guard rail.  CZFNW!  Paul ruins Old School and Taker's little Mark.  Mankind gets a shiv out and starts stabbing Taker in the head. Taker gets it.  No blood, though.  It's no wonder Taker's hips and knees are fucked up.  He never learned to land the flying clothesline in a normal way. Chairs and shivs and urns OH MY. Taker is in the grave!  He's about to be BERRIED!  Now they're both in it!  Double berry!  Back to the ring. Piledriver.  King marks for it.  Double arm DDT on a chair.  Taker hits about the hardest chair shot to the back you'll find.  Arabian face crusher. Stairs and shit.  Just general beating the shit out of each other.  Tombstone.   Now you have to carry that fat fuck to the grave, MARK. WAY TO THINK AHEAD. Chokeslam into the grave!  Mankind is being BERRIED. Taker wins.  Taker keeps BERRYING.  He shoves the refs away and someone cracks him in the head with a shovel.  OUTTA NOWHERE. This mysterious masked man pulls Mankind out and BERRIES Taker.  The lights start to flicker and thunder fills the arena.  WCW Thunder filled the arena and it sucked.  I was there for it.  Somehow the grave is now perfectly filled to the brim, almost like it was a shelf.  Other heels arrive to help.  LOL at fans throwing shit into the grave.  Taker was buried with a couple cups of Coke.  Okay guys, wrap it up.  Shit.  The longest burial in history.  After 6 hours, the thunder and lightning come back and Taker's hand pops out of the grave.

 

The wheels have definitely started rolling towards the Attitude Era.  REAL ASS Stone Cold and JR.  Cursing all during the show.  Heel vs heel matches.  Shitting on Vince being the boss and how much he sucks at everything.  Middle fingers.  Chair shots to the head. Violence. The vibe has definitely changed. Started at Mind Games.  I doubt it was a coincidence that things started changing on a show that had ECW guys involved and Vince Russo replacing them. 

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