Best of WWE 2014 Part 4

Adrian Neville vs Tyson Kidd NXT Championship NXT Takeover 5/29/14

Some aggressive locking up here.  Tyson has such a weathered face for being in his early 30s.  Maybe Nattie's passive aggressiveness will do that to you.  Do you like really flippy dippy chain wrestling?  You'd like this.  This is 2002 ROH as shit.  Complete with needless flips, nip ups, and INDIE RESPEK.  Tyson gets that little elf tied up in the tree of Keanu and kicks the shit out of him.  Neville and his gray trunks.  Gray trunks look good on NO ONE.  They always look dirty and dingy.  Tyson has the first dive of the match.  Both go for a cross body at the same time.  Man, Tyson is really short, but Neville is even shorter.  That dude is going to look ridiculous anywhere near guys like Orton/Cena/Cesaro.  Neville gets his own tree of Keanu going.  Neville back flips out of a sunset flip bomb and then hits a pop up Liger bomb.  Feel like I've seen too many sunset bombs this year as it was, so it was nice to see it countered.  Second rope Russian leg sweep from Tyson.  Both of these dudes are TERRIBLE at slapping their legs on kicks.  Really distracting.  Tyson transitions from sharpshooter to Dungeon Lock.  Good thing Neville is 4 feet tall because I'm pretty confident Tyson couldn't put that on a normal sized man.  Flipping leg drop with opponent hanging in the ropes.  Also 2002 as fuck.  Neville wins with the Red Arrow.  So nice of Tyson to get in place after a rana that left him completely out of place. Title retained.

This was too indie for me.  I have that issue with pretty much all Neville matches.  He does nothing for me.  His matches have rarely had any substance to them and he's definitely the most indie in style of all the indie stars WWE has picked up in the last few years.  I can see that he can do cool flips.  But a lot of people do dives and cool flips.  He's textbook vanilla midget to me.


Sheamus vs Cesaro WWE US Championship Payback 2014

WE FIGHT ON SUNDAY NIGHT, MAGGLE.  Sheamus tries to end it quick.  Cesaro drops him with a weird back suplex.  Those uppercuts in the corner are no joke.  Seems like Sheamus should definitely be disqualified for that one move because he did it twice as long.  So that's 20 seconds.  He gets 5 seconds before a DQ.  Come on, Asian Ref.  Sheamus tries a sling shot shoulder block and gets uppercutted to the floor.  Dead lift superplex.  So stronk.  TIGER BOMB.  DOUBLE STOMP.  STRONK AS A MOFO.  There are Sheamus sucks chants as he does 3 King Kong knee drops in a row.  Sheamus is dope.  These fans are wrong.  Although I can't blame them for picking Cesaro over him.  That uppercut was...very European.  "Notice how Heyman's head looks like Hornswoggle's?"  Series of reversals ends in White Noise for 2.  Fans are starting to come around on Sheamus.  Alpamare Waterslide!  WE'RE ABOUT TA GO A SWINGIN!  And then Sheamus wins with a small package OUTTA NOWHERE.  Title retained.

This was a lot more what I was expecting from them as compared to their TV match.  Neither had the intensity they had knocking the shit out of each other at in January/February, though.

Rusev vs Big E Payback 2014

HOSSES.  Big E gets dropped with a huge Russian suplex.  Do you think New Day will get revenge on Rusev?  STJoe from E.  Big E hits a spear off the apron that sends both dudes splatting to the floor.  HOSSES.  Big E gets his head kicked off.  Because HOSSES.  Big E taps to the Accolade.  HOSSES.

Pretty fun for a 3 minute HOSS match.

Bray Wyatt vs John Cena Last Man Standing Payback 2014

The final chapter.  Bray couldn't beat Cena or get him to embrace the hate, so I'd say the feud really did nothing for him.  He did beat Cena, technically, but it was actually the Cenation that beat him.  I like that Cena asked the ref to start counting...30 seconds in after a shoulder tackle.  Either he was supremely confident in his shoulders, or wanted to get back to his bus early.  Dope Rock Bottom slam.  Running fat guy.  WE GOT US A FLYING FATTY, MAGGLE.  Things that I like: Fatties running into people at high speeds.  That's why I like Rusev and Big E.  Here's the thing that gets me about Cena.  When Hogan was doing his thing in the 80s, he never lost because he was one of the most over humans on the planet.  Not just inside the bubble of wrestling, but in the world.  He was larger than life.  Being in the ring with him made careers.  Beating him made you legendary.  With Cena, he's just a robotic walking billboard who is only popular within the bubble of pro wrestling, hasn't been the most over guy in years, and working a program with him usually harms your career for at least a year or two.  There is no reason Cena can't lose once in a while.  It isn't going to hurt him in the least and will only help guys working with him.  Instead, it's typically a punishment to do a program with him.  It's so silly.  Both guys hit their finishes.  Wyatts and Usos get involved. A chair comes out.  JAHN.  Don't you understand?  We could have had it all, Jahn.  Jahn is sloppy as shit tonight.  Cena is conflicted, but uses the chair this time.  Has Jahn embraced the hate?  Jahn brings a table into the ring.  Bray puts him through it.  You see, Sina's own hate is coming back to haunt him.  Don't you understand, Jahn?  The hate will destroy you.  Jahn chucks the steps from the ring and drills Bray in the fucking face.  And hey, what do you know, the male fans actually cheer when Cena shows a little edge.  Then the cameras miss Sister Abigail into the guard rail.  Then we got a fatty running and doing a senton off the ring steps.  HE'S FAT.  FU on the floor OUTTA NOWHERE.  Suddenly, Harper and Rowan are back out.  And then the Usos are back.  WE GOT US A FLYING USO!  Bray is actually down and off his feet for a long time, but the ref just isn't paying attention at all.  You know you're fucking up when Cole and JBL are actually paying more attention than you.  Harper actives his OMG Moment and superplexes an Uso from the top to the floor through two tables.  Jahn just stares.  Doesn't try to help, doesn't seem concerned about his buddy.  Just stares and then goes back to Bray.  Then Bray rams him through the time keeper wall.  Friends, this is one OMG Moment after another.  Infinite finishers. The fight heads into the stands.  Jahn is thrown into a table that sets off pyro.  They climb up on some equipment.  FU through a box!  Cena then drops another box on top of Bray.  "For the first time in months, John Cena can finally smile."  Oh bullshit.  Homeboy can't STOP smiling even when he's supposed to be upset and serious.  So...I guess since it was no DQ, Cena using weapons and trying to injure Bray doesn't count as embracing hate?

Cena is always good in ridiculous gimmick matches.  At least he didn't stop to smile in the middle of this one.  This angle did nothing for Bray.  At all.  He didn't get John to unleash his inner monster, the only time he beat Cena was because of the Cenation and not his actual work, and then when Cena DOES get violent and mean, it is portrayed as a good thing.  So, he looks like a real asshole coming out of this feud.

Evolution vs Shield Elimination Match Payback 2014

Bluetista!  That poor goofy fuck.  I wonder how many pairs of Jordans he has.  It immediately leaves the ring with all 6 men brawling around ringside and into the crowd.  Dean Ambrose the "eccentric" member of Shield.  I guess a dude with half of his hair bleached blond who calls himself The Architect and is SUPER into Cross Fit isn't eccentric.  Bateaster's blues don't match and it is really bothering me.  His boots and tights are pretty close to the same color, but his knee and arm pads are a completely different shade.  These teams are "carbon copies" of each other.  3 dudes in trunks with no hair on one side, 3 dudes with hair and fully clothed in black fatigues and flak jackets.  I almost feel bad for Bateaster.  As soon as he gets in the ring, someone drills him, he's huffing and puffing, he's balding worse than Ambrose, and no one likes him.  But I'm sure he's fine with it.  All of it. He probably has an entire 3 story house filled completely with lunch boxes and Jordans.  Roman and HHH have a big stand off that is supposed to be a big deal, but it doesn't really seem like one.  The Roman/Bray stand off in Feb got a bigger reaction.  As a team match, this is much better than than the match at ER, especially for Shield, who are FAR more on the same page.  It's so weird to me that HHH is wrestling dudes who got their starts in IWA MS and CZW.  After losing to a guy who got his start in ROH at WM.  The same HHH who pretty much killed every career of WCW/ECW guys for a couple years.  Yet now he's cool to put over indie punks.  Well, except that one Punk.  Hot tag to Roman.  MAKING IT REIGN UP IN THIS BITCH.  I said BITCH.  BITCH.  YEAH BITCH.  HHH and Seth head into the crowd.  So do Orton and Dean.  HHH breaks a TV on Seth's face.  Not impressive when it is a flat screen.  Now, if he drilled Seth in the face with a 40 inch CRT, I'd be impressed.  Roman gets triple bombed through a table.  It's like poetry.  Then Dean comes running off the other table OUTTA NOWHERE, cuz that's kind of his thing now.  The rest of the 5 head up to the stage.  HHH and Orton try to break chairs while Bateaster just stands around trying to catch his breath.  Pedigree on a chair on the floor.  Roman makes his way back to the ring and gets surrounded.  It then turns into the Passion of the Roman.  It's like a reversal of that one off story in the bible.  Idk, you probably haven't heard of it.  Anyway, he gets beaten all the way to the stage.  Rollins again finds a high thing to jump from.  Everyone crawls back to the ring.  Bateaster gets eliminated with a spear.  Rollins is saved from going out from a RKO.  Orton is put out via Dirty Deeds on a chair.  HHH is the only man left, but don't worry, Teaster and Orton are still there to help out.  HHH gets hit with a flying knee.  Spear.  Shield wins!  Again!  This makes Cena look like even more of a piece of shit.

This was SO much better than the first match.  And better than all the matches with the Wyatts.  This is probably close to the best Shield match.  It was pretty great.  Let's look at this in comparison to Bray vs Cena.  In 3 matches between them, Cena won the two most important and ended the feud 100% decisively.  The one match he lost was due to one of the members of the Cenation distracting him with a creepy kid voice and singing.  This was after he beat up all 3 members of the Wyatt Family with ease and made them look like bumbling fools.  Bray ends up losing all momentum and looking like a joke.  Then you have Shield/Evolution, where 3 established guys put 3 fresh guys over clean TWICE.  The same group of guys who also put Daniel Bryan over at WM on a show where EVERY match had the more established talent putting over the younger guy.  Except for Bray vs Cena.  Then look at how worse off Ziggler was after an angle with Cena.  And Sandow. And Ryback.  And Umaga.

Seth Rollins vs Dean Ambrose vs Dolph Ziggler vs Kofi Kingston vs RVD vs Jack Swagger Money In The Bank MITB 2014

Dean immediately attacks Seth and they head to the floor.  What a difference a month makes.  Seth's heel turn still doesn't make a lot of sense to me.  They were just coming off beating Evolution two times in a row and then he decides he should join up with Orton and HHH because...if you can beat them, you should join them, I guess.  Kofi gets the first big spot of the match.  I actually completely forgot about RVD already.  Dean hits a butterfly suplex on a ladder to Seth.  If I was Dolph, I wouldn't want Swagger anywhere near me, especially around a ladder.  RVD hadn't been relevant in 8 years at this point.  Even then it was only for one show.  He really hasn't been shit since 2001.  Yet here he is in 2014 in the "up and comers" MITB.  I guess what I'm trying to say is FUCK RVD.  He gets superbombed from near the top of a super ladder.  And then Seth gets superplexed from it.  Moves that NEVER make sense: putting a chair/ladder on someone and then doing some kind of splash on top of the chair/ladder.  It's fucking stupid and has no logic at all to it.  It would make sense to put the chair or ladder under the guy and then smash him into it.  Not hurt yourself way more.  Dean appears to have injured his shoulder and medical staff won't allow him to continue.  Seth takes a terrible bump on a ladder bridge, which falls apart and sends his head bouncing into the bottom rung of the standing ladder.  Mother fucking Korporate Damon Kane helps Seth win.

Big E vs Rusev MITB 2014

HOSSES Part 2.  Beefy dudes, running into each other with their beef.  WHERE'S THE BEEF?!?  Rusev counters the apron spear with a knee to the head.  Homeboy ain't playing tonight.  Stiff forearms and elbows.  Beefy belly to bellies.  BEEF.  HOSS.  BEEFY HOSSES.  Big E scouted the super kick this time and dodges it, but god damn does he ever crash and burn on the apron spear.  Straight DDT'd himself.  God damn. Good thing he's a thick as fuck HOSS because that probably would have broken the neck of a wimpy like Daniel Bryan.  Rusev wins with the Accolade.  HOSSES.

I really like short HOSS matches where they throw nothing but bombs at each other. 

Usos vs Wyatt Family 2/3 Falls WWE Tag Team Championships Battleground 2014

Rowan gets his sheep mask slapped off to start the match.  I want to see a big boot.  To the fan in the crowd: I also Bolieve.  Why is it weird when Harper does the gator roll, but no one thinks it is odd when Swagger does it?  BIG MOTHER FUCKING BOOT ends the first fall.

Harper is really dope.  He could have a great 2015.  He's big yet super athletic and quick, can work with everyone, is a good promo, and so into character in the ring.  Plus he does big boots, lariatos, and powerbombs.  I support his rise up the card.  Usos even up the score with a roll up OUTTA NOWHERE.

Hot tag to Jimmy.  WE GOT US A FLYIN USO!  Of course.  ANOTHER FLYIN USO!  Dudes can't even do a Superstars match with out a suicide dive.  You don't have to do it in every match, guys.  I'd probably like the Usos if they both put on 50 pounds.  It's hard to take them seriously doing all the Headshrinker spots as cruiserweights.  Especially do guys the size of Harper and Rowan.  WE GOT US A FLYING HARPER!  For real.  JBL actually said that.  A flying Harper.  Liger bombuuuu.  WE GOT US A KICK OUT, MAGGLE!  Wtf, Rowan tries a Superfly Splash.  Then he kicks out of one himself.  He probably wouldn't have if the Usos were 240 pounds or more.  Rowan hits a double superplex.  GUYS.  Jimmy's the legal man, guys.  GUYS.  FUCK YO WEAK ASS SUPER KICK, lariatooooo.  Superkick party.  Usos win with a double Superfly Splash.  Again, if they were normal Samoan sized, they wouldn't need to BOTH hit the splash to pin someone.  Titles retained.
 

This was good.  But fuck the Usos.  They're too small to be doing Headshrinkers spots.  Harper is going to be the break out star of 2015 I think.

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