Best of WWE 2014 Part 3

Daniel Bryan vs HHH Wrestlemania 30

Daniel Bryan is OVER AS FUCK.  Holy shit.  HHH is god damn Shao Kahn and has finally reached his final form.  That shit is majestic.  HHH is in the best shape he's been in in 6-8 years probably.  Winner goes on to the main event triple threat for the title.  HHH wants to follow the Code of Honor.  Bryan refuses and nearly wins with a school boy.  They have some mat work and Bryan's speed is certainly an advantage, but HHH is in full Shao Kahn mode.  And everyone knows Shao is the cheapest of cheap final bosses.  HHH does a pretty cool dragon screw/divorce court hybrid move.  HHH tries to use the ring post.  Bryan won't let him and instead does a running tornado DDT off the apron.  Then he goes for a crazy dive and pretty much completely misses.  Bad landing.  An attempted pedigree on the announce table ends up as a divorce court on it.  Steph likes it.  HHH goes after the arm with laser focus.  Up to and including a hammerlock suplex on the apron.  INDIE WRESTLING!  Cross face chicken wing!  God why does no one does that anymore?  That should have been Cesaro's next spinning move.  Crippler Crossface.  Uh oh.  That move always gets an OHHH and I have never believed HHH and HBK use it to "take it back".  It's either a tribute to Benoit or intentional heat getter.  Either way is gross.  Rolling German suplexes from Bryan.  HHH goes back to the cross face and then hits a god damn dragon suplex.  HHH tries a superplex.  Bryan hits a sunset flip bomb.  Bryan starts hitting corner dropkicks until HHH hits a huge lariatoooooooooooo.  Head kick!  OUTTA NOWHERE!  Bryan goes for the diving headbutt.  HHH gets his knee up, which hits the bad shoulder.  Back to the crossface.  Bryan fights out to lock in the Yes Lock.  Rope break.  FLYING GOAT!  FLYING GOAT AGAIN!  He's GOATING UP, friends.  The Knee That Beat John Cena is countered into a spinebuster.  Pedigree!  Bryan kicks out!  All I can think about is WM 19.  HHH immediately makes the pin and Bryan kicks out.  He waits 45 seconds to pin Booker and wins.  Second pedigree is countered, but HHH holds on.  Then just starts dropping knees on Bryan's head. That Knee That Beat John Cena!  It beat HHH!  Bryan is going to the main event!  

So dope.  All I can think about is how much better this was than Punk/HHH could possibly have been.  Had Punk not left, WM probably would have sucked it hard.

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Bray Wyatt vs John Cena Wrestlemania 30

Bray got a mother fucking voodoo priestess for his entrance.  And a live band.  I wonder how he hired them.  Yet John Cena has a completely normal entrance except the ramp had a bunch of neon dots on it.  Cena starts the match with head lock take downs.  You can't wrestle with Bray, though.  He's a weirdo, Jahn.  Don't you understand?  So Sina does a lariatooo and then gets conflicted.  Then he gets ANGRY.  This is about his LEGACY.  I like the idea of Cena being angry and violent is such a struggle for him when he's the dude who extensively rapped about gay dudes and has been in many violent gimmick matches.  Fairly recently, too.  Look at all the vehicles he's thrown people through.  Or stages.  Or cheating to win (FUCKING DUCT TAPE RUSRSBRO?).  Yet this somehow is this huge conflict for him.  Except when he stops to smile because fans are booing him.  He goes for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle only to have Bray pop up in the spider walk and hit a tossing rock bottom.  HE'S GOT THE WHOLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS, MAGGLE!  Cena pops up with a second rope jumping DDT.  He attempts the diving fameasser and is squashed in a powerbomb for 2. Doesn't matter, he was on offense seconds later before getting hit with that twisting gut buster thing.  Apron DDT!  I wonder if Bray sees the IRS cosplayer in the crowd.  Cena randomly dives on to Harper and Rowan when he could have hit Bray with the fameasser.  Jahn almost uses the steps, but his inner conflict makes him stop.  FU OUTTA NOWHERE!  Bray kicks out.  Harper gets speared through the time keeper's area.  Sister Abigail is countered into the STF.  Fans do not want Cena to win.  At all.  More than usual.  Sister Abigail!  Cena kicks out.  Bray gives Cena a chair.  JOHN NO.  THIS ISN'T WHO YOU ARE!  YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!  Tell me why Jahn couldn't hit Bray with a chair, but had no problem drilling Rowan with the same chair.  And then Cena hits an FU for the win.

This was good until that terrible finish.  On a show that was meant to be a start of a New New Generation, where the established stars put over the younger talent in every match, including HHH and Taker, John Cena is the only one to win.  The Undertaker, who was a guy who didn't lose 21 times in a row at WM, lost clean in the center of the ring.  But John Cena gets dominated for most of the match until he beats up Rowan and Harper and then hits a pop up FU to win.  Not even some big finish.  The most basic John Cena finish there is.  It's also clear he doesn't understand how to sell a story within a match, as while he was so conflicted and in torment, yet can't help but smirk and laugh while doing his signature spots with the fans booing him.  Part of the story was the negative crowd reactions finally getting to Cena, especially with them cheering for Bray.  And at times he sells that part of the story.  Except for those periods when he stops to smirk at the fans booing him.  The ending really, really deflates the whole match, which as I said was quite good up to that point.

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Randy Orton vs Batista vs Daniel Bryan WWE World Heavyweight Championship Wrestlemania 30

Teaster is immediately thrown out of the ring.  Orton goes after the previously injured shoulder of Bryan.  EVOLUTION EXPLODES.  Bateaster is wearing a pair of Jordans in the main event of Wrestlemania.  Sea foam green camo Jordans.  Bryan does his kick combo on both guys, but Orton ducks the head kick to hit an exploder.  Is Batista dying?  He looks like he might die any second now.  FLYING GOAT!  Yes Lock is applied to Orton.  Suddenly, HHH and Steph come out and pull the ref out of the ring.  Spinebuster to Bryan.  Oh no.  Bateaster is going to win the title!  SCOTT ARMSTRONG comes out to replace the ref.  Bateaster Bomb.  Bryan kicks out!  Bryan kicks Armstrong.  No DQ!  Bryan dives on the entire Authority group outside.  HHH gets the sledge hammer.  Bryan drills him with it.  Roll up on Bateaster.  ORTON OUTTA NOWHERE.  Evolution decides to reunite momentarily to get rid of Bryan.  Bateaster Bomb/RKO combo through the announce table!  My god!  Orton lands on one of the monitors.  Bryan died.  Randy's back is cut up.  Bateaster is just standing around like an idiot when he could throw one of them in the ring to win the match.  What a maroon.  Bryan is stretchered out.  Orton does the hanging DDT on the floor to Drax.  Batista's head looks like a Sharpe puppy.  Bryan says FUCK YO MEDICAL STAFF and crawls back to the ring.  Note, the doctors let him go, even though he's clearly injured and shouldn't be wrestling.  Punk thinks he's doing a cutting edge angle, but WWE already wrote their shitty medical staff into the story this year.  Yes Lock!  Tista breaks it.  Yes Lock on Bateaster!  Orton breaks it up.  Teetser spears Bryan in the head and then kicks out of and RKO.  That Knee That Beat HHH!  Bateaster is going to steal it!  NOT THIS WAY!  Bateaster Bomb.  THAT KNEE THAT BEAT HHH!  Yes Lock!  DANIEL BRYAN HAS DONE IT!  THE BOYHOOD DREAM HAS COME TRUE!  THE MIRACLE ON BOURBON STREET!  God it must have been MISERABLE to be on the cleaning crew after this celebration.  God am I glad that the last line before going off the air wasn't, "YESSLEMANIA!".

Such a great moment.  The match was fine, but it was really the moment of Bryan winning that is important.  Feels like so long ago.  It's crazy how this year has gone.


Dolph Ziggler vs Bad News Barrett Raw 4/17/14

BNB dominates the early moments.  A dropkick that totally misses gets Ziggler back into the match.  Then he gets launched into the ring post.  Why does Ziggler's neck breaker look so shitty?  It looks straight out of a Smackdown game.  You'd think a dude trying to be Mr. Perfect, Rick Rude, and HBK in one body would have a better looking neck breaker.  He kicks out of the Wasteland, which of course he should, it's a standard slam in lucha.  Fameasser also mostly misses.  Ziggler is really inconsistent to me.  Sometimes, like Survivor Series 2014, he's really good.  Other times he's super sloppy and everything he does looks like shit.  This is more of the latter.  Bull hammer KOs Ziggler.

Evolution vs Shield Extreme Rules 2014

Shield immediately clear the ring.  No doubt Roman learned how to clear a room while playing Call of Duty.  Seth and HHH begin the match, which is interesting considering what will happen in the rest of the year.  WE GOT US A FLYIN' ARCHITECT!  HHH responds with a lariato.  Batista is already huffing and puffing and covered in sweat.  He's been in the ring for a total of 25 seconds.  I don't know how Bateaster managed to get even worse tattoos in his years off, but he sure did.  He comes in for 20 second bursts because apparently that's all he's trusted to do.  Dean and Roman get knocked off the apron before a tag can be made.  He gets one to Dean, though.  I'll never not laugh at Dean face palming Batista off the apron.  Rebound lariato and a figure four from Dean.  Things are breaking down in the Impact Zone.  Now it is Dean's turn to be FIP and HHH is pounding him down.  God, people hate Bateaster.  Again, he's wearing Jordans.  Hot tag to Roman.  He's MAKING IT REIGN UP IN THIS BITCH.  BITCH.  I SAID BITCH.  Seth nails the flying knee on Batista.  Superman punch.  Triple Powerbomb.  The pin is broken, but Batista is dead. Seth crashes and burns on a dive.  HHH pedigrees Roman.  Batista takes a long time to make the pin and Roman kicks out.  RKO.  OUTTA NOWHERE.  Seth makes a save.  Dean runs and jumps off tables because he's CRAZY.  Roman and Dave are in the ring.  The other four are brawling into the crowd.  Seth comes flying off a balcony OUTTA NOWHERE.  In the ring, Roman hits the Superman punch.  Spear.  Shield wins!  

I think this might have been better than Shield/Wyatts.  Neither are quite as good as they hype they got, though.  Batista getting pie faced is in my Fave Five moments this year.

Cesaro vs Sheamus WWE US Championship Raw 5/19/14

Expect some clubberin.  Cesaro uses cheap heel tactics to get in control of the match.  So stupid.  He was probably the second most over face in the company coming out of WM and then getting paired up with Heyman and given awful music just ruined him.  Sheamus has looked so sad all year.  The only time he's appeared to enjoy his work is when he and Cesaro were knocking the shit out of each other early in the year.  Sheamus seems to be hitting the ring harder than Cesaro in this.  People always talk about Cesaro's body, but Sheamus is bigger and thicker all around.  He's a big fucking guy.  Cesaro wins with a German suplex after a Heyman distraction.  Why wasn't this a title match?

I feel like these two had a way better match early in the year. 

Tyler Breeze vs Sami Zayn NXT Takeover 5/29/14

This is Tyler's first "real" singles match.  For sure the most high profile, at least.  Sami gets off to a hot start and Tyler seems pretty shook.  Sami gets tossed over the ropes and appears to bang his head off the floor.  He's had a problem of possible brain injuries lately.  Hitting someone in the head a lot seems to be a good game plan regardless.  Sami hits the split legged Asai moonsault and is back into it.  Blue thunder bomb OUTTA NOWHERE.  Tyler kicks out.  Tyler shows he was a big mark of Vito by hitting the spinning DDT.  Then he shows he was a fan of Justin Credible with the out of the corner powerbomb.  I'm sure that had some really goofy name.  Oh shit, exploder into the corner.  That move looks like shit.  Sorry, Sami.  It has no impact and would look better in the middle of the ring.  Superkick!  12HEGOTHIMNOHEDIDN'T!  Sami botches the Orange Crush, but hits it a moment later anyway.  And Tyler somehow kicked out.  Tyler rolls out of the way of the Heluva kick, but not the tope that smacks his head on the mat.  The second kick is blocked which caused an accidental low blow.  Tyler hits the Beauty Shot for the win.


Charlotte vs Natalya NXT Women's Championship NXT Takeover 5/29/14

Ric Flair and Bret Hart are at ringside.  DID YOU KNOW: Bret Hart is basically Natayla's dad and you should forget about Jim Neidhart because he's a mess.  They're pretty even on the mat.  Nattie obviously has much more experience.  Both seem to go after the other's leg.  Charlotte has excellent facial reactions, especially while selling.  She could be a dope face if she wasn't such a natural cheating bowly mean girl.  Ric is having a good time.  Bret seems pretty bored.  He actually seems more interested in smirking at Ric being wacky.  Charlotte has IT.  No doubt.  She gets great height on a moonsault, but Nattie rolled out of the way.  Sharpshooter.  BTW, Nattie's sharpshooter is shit.  I'm sure Bret was mentally berrying his niece.  It's reversed into a figure four.  It's eventually broken when they roll to the floor.  Nattie is shoved knee/hip first into the ring steps.  Charlotte's sharpshooter also really sucks.  Bret was not impressed.  She probably just lost a couple of points on the Bret Hart Boner Scale.  Charlotte wins with the Bow Down.  New champion.  Terrible name for that move.  I thought it had an Evolution themed name for a while. 

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