Best of WWE 2014 Part 2
Shield vs Wyatt Family Elimination Chamber 2014
Mother fucking Cole can't just let an entrance happen and has to read tweets instead. THIS IS AWESOME before the match even starts. A faint Roman Reigns chant starts up for a few seconds. Bray gets his mouth running to get Ambrose unhinged. Real hard to do. WE GOT US A FIGHT, MAGGLE! The Wyatts are bounced from the ring. Dueling chants. So dope to see a crowd so into 6 new stars like this. Rollins and Rowan officially begin the match. Rollins gets caught in the Wyatt corner for a while. Then we get a Bray/Roman face off. People seemed more into that than any Roman/Cena stand off. They were more into a Dean/Harper face off as well. Frequent tags from Shield. Luke knocks the SHIT out of Dean with a dropkick. Dean is stuck as FIP. Dope snap brainbuster from Harper. JBL says that Harper is like Brody and Hansen in one body. High praise. Hot tag to Seth. YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. He's got his Fire Pro voice picked out. Rollins somehow lands on his feet from a super German suplex and then hits a dive and springboard knee. Curb stomp misses, but the Bubber Slam doesn't. Seth gets knocked around for the next few minutes. Dean breaks up a pin and Luke big boots his mouth off. Hot tag to Roman. MAKING IT REIGN UP IN THIS BITCH. Things are breaking down here in the Impact Zone! Harper hits a suicide dive. Seth hits a flying tope. Rowan and Roman have a double clothesline. Dean and Bray go brawling into the crowd. Rollins gets double chokeslammed from the US announce table to the Spanish announce table. Roman is the only one left. He's able to fight on his own, hitting Rowan and Bray with Superman punches and Harper with the spear, but the numbers game catches up and Roman goes down to Sister Abigail's Kiss.
This was good stuff. I'm not sure enough actually happened for the fans to be chanting all that they chanted, but sometimes that is a good thing. 6 guys, all new to the scene, and this match got a better reaction that even Bryan in EC.
Sheamus vs Cesaro vs John Cena vs Randy Orton vs Daniel Bryan vs Christian WWE World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber 2014
Cesaro and Sheamus start and I expect some clubberin. I got some clubberin. Bryan is 3rd in. Just kicking the shit out of both guys. Cole tries to call a kick to the gut as a kick to the shoulder. You know you're doing a shitty job when King has to correct you. Bryan gets Sheamus in a Muta Lock while hitting Cesaro with a northern lights suplex. Bryan gets sent through one of the pods. GUYS. The bad shoulder. Guys. I like the unbreakable pods that get broken in every EC match. Cesaro knocks the shit out of Sheamus, so Sheamus does a Finlay roll on the steel. Christian is in next and goes right to work on Bryan's shoulder. Man, Christian is SO out of place in this. He just doesn't fit after 2 years of either being hurt or US/IC level at BEST. Luckily, Cesaro shows him where he belongs with a buckle bomb into the pod and then an uppercut that knocks Christian nearly to the middle of the ring. He then rips a panel off a pod, uses it as a shield, and then does a Karelin lift on the steel to Sheamus. Cena enters. Bryan won't let him pop in and steal his thunder. God, Thunder was a dog shit show. From day one. Sheamus and Cesaro again start knocking the shit out of each other. Those wacky Europeans. Orton enters at the best possible time, as everyone else is down. And then he gets cornered, so he gets back in his pod. Sheamus Bro Kicks it open. I believe this is the third pod to be broken. The unbreakable pods. Fella. Cesaro Swing! Camera work will get you more dizzy than taking the move. 30 rotations. Chaos Theory from Bryan. That Doug Williams tribute. Christian eliminates Sheamus with a splash from the top of a pod. Christian gets put out to That Knee That Beat John Cena. Can you imagine a time now where Cesaro wouldn't be the first person eliminated first in ANY kind of elimination match? Cena and Bryan have their first show down since Summerslam 2013. Cesaro gets hit with a FU on the steel and then taps to the STF. Orton gets put in the STF and JEKT. Wyatts are in the chamber! Cena and Bryan get mauled. Mostly Cena, though. After laying Cena out, a THANK YOU WYATTS chant starts up. Cena is eliminated. Korporate Kane shows up to send the Wyatts away. Bryan dives on him. Then gets put through ANOTHER pod. Really hard to buy that "unbreakable" thing when all four pods are now missing a side. Bryan hits That Knee That Beat John Cena. Kane breaks the pin. RKO OUTTA NOWHERE! Kick out! Fans erupt. Mr. Small Package! Wait. Fucking Kane AGAIN interferes. Another RKO. BANG! Title retained.
Pretty fun as far as EC matches go. They're very formulaic at this point, but it was nice to see Cesaro wrecking shit and Bryan kicking out of the RKO was a huge moment for that crowd. I'd like to see one where a chamber pod doesn't get broken, since they're supposed to be unbreakable yet have been broken in every EC match.
Cesaro vs Sami Zayn NXT Arrival 2/27/14
Fans chant MATCH OF THE YEAR before the bell even rings. It's been a HUGE month for Cesaro, from the EC, to giving Cena a war, to pinning the WWE WHC completely clean. And now he's in NXT, where he is basically a demi-god. These two had their DOPE 2/3 falls match last year and it has been eating at Sami since then. Cesaro's stupid strength comes into play pretty much immediately. But you can't count out Sami's speed. Tope early on. Boy, Regal is SORELY missed in the booth on NXT. Look at the vascularity, the musculature, the definition. THE POWAH. Sami tries the ring post tornado DDT that worked in the last match. Cesaro had it scouted and knocks his block off with an uppercut. Cesaro then goes after the leg, switching game plans from the start of the match when he was trying to take the wind out of Sami. Dragon screws all over the place. Cesaro catches Sami out of an ASAI MOONSAULT to slam him on the ramp. Sami is nearly counted out. Cesaro looks so fucking massive in this. I don't understand it. It's only been like a week since EC and he looks even more SWOLE and vascular. Sami is able to hit the corner exploder and blue thunder bomb. Then a Koji Clutch. Cesaro turns it right into a stretch muffler. Giant swing! NASTY AS SHIT uppercut in the corner. Sounded like a gun shot. And then a double stomp right on Sami's fucking head. Super rana is countered into avalanche Ricola Bomb countered back into a rana. Heluva kick. Cesaro won't stay down. We miss a headbutt to that levels Sami because we were getting a replay. Cesaro tries to murder with uppercuts and tells Sami to stay down. "Stay down you dumb idiot." German suplex OUTTA NOWHERE from Sami. Heluva kick is countered with a BIG BOOT. Near falls from Sami. Very European uppercut. Sami kicks out at one. Roaring uppercut. Jumping Neutralizer. That's enough to put Sami down.
Dope as shit. Undecided if this or Bray/Bryan is the best match to this point in the year. Both were rad. Bryan/Cesaro are most definitely the MVPs of the first 3 months of 2014.
Emma vs Paige NXT Women's Championship NXT Arrival 2/27/14
We got us a fight right away, Maggle. What's this? Women women wrestling and countering moves? What? What am I watching? It's established early on that they know each other so well that they are going to have to work to get their big moves off. And it does indeed take some work, but Emma is able to get off the DilEmma and Emma sandwich. Submission work in a women match in WWE. What a revolutionary idea. Better Than Bateaster Bomb! Paige wins with the scorpion cross lock. Title retained.
This doesn't hold up as much as I thought it would. It's still good, but pretty sloppy and shorter than I remembered.
Christian vs Sheamus Raw 3/3/14
The match starts with the announcers making fun of Christian's body and then King says Sheamus is Italian. Then the announcers go silent. Such a weird angle for Christian. "He's getting old and fragile so he better start cheating because he can't win any other way now. And he's ugly and weak." JBL continues to make fun of Christian's body. LOL IRISH PEOPLE DRINK! Christian is a pussy and hides behind the announcers. I'm sure we'll hear about that after the break. Sheamus takes a hard fall to the floor from the top rope. "Maybe this is the Christian we've known all along, you just didn't know it." What? King then repeats that. I don't understand the concept of "this is a side of Christian we've never seen" when he was a cocky heel for the majority of his career. 100% seen this side of him. A lot. More than any other side, as it turns out. I believe a "this is awful" chant has started up. It isn't, but it also isn't particularly engaging. JBL finds as many ways to make fun of Christian's pecs and general skinniness as he can. Repeatedly calling him a skinny frog. END THIS MATCH chant. Damn. Sheamus wins after hitting a Bro Kick while on the apron.
It was okay. Fans and commentary were brutal to it.
Randy Orton vs Daniel Bryan No DQ Raw 3/17/14
Cole reads off the Wiki entry of the Bryan-Authority angle. Bryan goes to work on Orton's leg, using the ring post. Orton responds with a headbutt that Cole calls a big uppercut. JBL says he wants to see Bryan vs HHH. Cole then says NOT SO FAST because HHH has to beat Bryan to get into that match. Because he wasn't paying attention and thought JBL was talking about the title match. WE GOT US A FLYING GOAT! "Ring the bell?! Are you kidding me?! IT'S NO DQ! RING THE BELL?!? THERE'S NO BELL TO RIIIIIIIINNNNNGGG!" Oh, Randy. The action heads in an out of the ring. Being no DQ, a kendo stick comes into play. Cole, the face announcer, seems to be shitting on Bryan's chances at WM. As he says that, HE'S GOATING UP. Kick/stick combo. Orton catches Bryan going up top and hits a big superplex. Bryan avoids an RKO and then it heads back to the floor, where Randy accidentally hits himself in the face with a chair, which King tries not to laugh at. OUTTA NOWHERE Bateaster runs out and spears Orton. Bryan hits him with the knee and pins Orton for the win.
This was a lot of fun. Orton has had a lot of weird moments and mannerisms in the last month and a half or so. The THERE'S NO BELL TO RIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGG was wonderfully weird.
John Cena vs Luke Harper Raw 3/24/14
I feel like I don't need to point out that Cena's colors are a mess. But I will. Green wrist bands, different shade of green and dark gray shoes, jorts, blue belt, red boxers. King seems to think Harper and Rowan are actually brothers. Crowds are solidly behind Harper. Not even dueling chants. Just chanting for Harper. Fall away pump handle slam from Harper. Such a dirty looking man. I bet he's killed someone. At least ate part of them. Harper dominates before a commercial break gives Cena a second wind, only to get hit with da BIG BOOT. Cena hits an ugly looking German suplex. German throw. John Cena's "focus" is he stops being hurt and starts smirking. In a lot of ways, this is definitely a dry run for Cena/Bray at WM. Cena has had almost no offense. Harper has booted his head off twice, hit a dive, broken out of the STF. Cena's first big move near the end, with the diving fameasser. Then comes OUTTA NOWHERE with a lariatoooo. "GOODnIIIIS." JEKT. The lights come back on to find Cena tied up in the ropes with a sheep mask on.
Shield vs Real Americans Raw 3/24/14
Dean and Cesaro start the match. That Dean, just so unhinged. He's almost like a lunatic. Fuck, JBL starts singing WHO LET THE DOGS OUT. Christ. Shield hits a pretty dope neckbreaker/spinebuster move. Seth hits Three Amigos and gets an Eddie chant. Among the birthdays today: Jack Swagger, Gorgeous George, Harry Houdini, Fernando, Barry Horowitz. Dean gets hammered with uppercuts and double teams. 20 rotations on the swing tonight. As if Dean needed an excuse to make even weirder movements. Dean with the rebound lariatooo OUTTA NOWHERE. I didn't realize he was doing that so early. Hot tag to Rollins. Seth hits dives on both Real Americans on different sides of the ring. Seth pins Swagger with the Curb Stomp, which had gone from the Black Out to Peace of Mind. Cesaro gets triple powerbombed through the announce table.