Best of WWE 2014 Part 1

CM Punk/Usos vs Shield Smackdown 1/3/14

Shield was still together.  Punk was still employed.  Usos were still the Usos.  Punk and Ambrose start the match.  Usos and Shield had a match earlier in the night.  Shield had been having issues getting a long, mostly revolving around Dean being called "the weak link".  It doesn't take long for JBL to start being a flippant asshole.  LOL at the crowd noise.  Random massive pops an OHHS that immediately cut out and shots of the crowd show them not reacting at all.  JBL trips over himself and he and Cole argue.  Cousin Roman ain't having none of that dive shit.  Dean was still just "eccentric" and not a lunatic.  Mother fucker works a head lock like a champ, though.  JBL goes on a rant about Cole being a gotcha journalist and trips over every one of his words as if he was drunk.  Then Cole shits on him and they giggle.  Hot tag to Punk.  He's PUNKING UP.  Looking good.  I don't see the giant MRSA infection on his back but whatever.  Dean breaks up the Anaconda Vise on Rollins.  Roman pops in with a Superman punch on an Uso.  Home boy was so much cooler as a heel.  Butterfly superplex from Dean.  Looks like Punk hurt his elbow on it.  Roman begs for Dean to tag out, but Dean is in his own world. Stereo dives.  GTS on Dean gets the win.

Pretty fun.  I still don't get why the Usos are so over.  There is nothing interesting about them and they're extremely samey from match to match.  Is it because they do dives?  I mean, a lot of people in WWE do dives right now.  Punk looked good in this, which was a nice change from the prior...I don't know, maybe 4-5 months.

CM Punk vs Roman Reigns Raw 1/6/14   

The New Age Outlaws are at ringside in support of Punk.  Feels like they should change their names by now.  Roman is SO much more bad ass as a heel.  It's actually shocking.  "You notice how, uh, Punk's midsection hit the post?"  Yes, Cole.  That was the whole point of the spot.  That'd be like someone hitting a DDT and then saying, "Did you notice his head hit the mat?".  Roman slows it down with a bear hug.  Not that it was very fast before that.  Roman does have a pretty dope belly to belly.  Crowd is pretty dead.  Can't blame them much.  There isn't a whole lot going on here.  The running knee in the corner is countered into...a bear hug.  Punk rolls out of the Superman punch and hits that ugly as shit kick.  HE'S PUNKING UP!  "We got us an Air Punk!"  Fucking JBL.  So awful.  Punk's elbow drop looks much shittier than normal, and it normally looked pretty shitty.  NAO and Shield get into it on the floor. Punk hits a suicide dive on Rollins.  Roman hits a Superman punch as Punk comes in with a springboard lariato.  After a lot of reversals, Dean distracts Punk and Roman flattens him with a spear for the win.  It was a pretty fun finishing stretch, but the bulk of the match was not interesting in the least.  MY GOD THAT'S JAKE ROBERTS!  Dean gets hit with the GTS.  Jake drops the snake on him, which also happens to shit all over Dean.


Bray Wyatt vs Daniel Bryan Royal Rumble 2014

OVER AS A MOTHER FUCKER.  It feels like so long ago.  This was also before Bray was singing and the crowd would light up the arena during his entrance.  Bray quickly flattens Bryan with a back elbow.  I like how vocal Bray is in the ring.  Much like Bob Backlund and Mankind.  Harper gets involved and Bryan hits him with a suicide dive.  The ref then ejects Harper and Rowan.  Curiously, this is the ref who wouldn't told JOHN THIS ISN'T YOU at WM.  Collusion?  Bryan OUTTA NOWHERE with a cross body to the floor.  We got us a flyin' goat!  Bryan gets knocked from the top rope and guys, guys, I think he hit his head, guys, guys, guys.  Guys.  GUYS.  Bray takes the patented Mankind/Taker flip over the ring steps bump that looked and sounded nasty.  Bray injures his leg and Bryan goes after it.  Kicking the shit out of that fatty.  SUPER DRAGON CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP style curb stomp.  Bryan is grumpy as shit tonight.  Wonderful.  While fighting on the apron, Bray hits an apron divorce court.  Bad arm vs bad leg.  Bryan's head gets squashed against the ring post and Bray's fat gut.  Guys, I think he's hurt, guys.  Guys.  Fatty senton on the floor.  Bray is a mean son of a bitch.  Everything he does looks mean as shit.  It's rad.  Plus he's a weirdo.  And fat.  And wears snake skin cowboy wrestling boots.  SPIDER WALK!  This breaks into the commentators giggling over The Exorcist references.  Bryan GOATS UP, ending a big flurry with a super frankensteiner.  That fatty puts it all to a half with his flying fat attack.  Bryan does a wacky flying spinning tornado DDT thing off the apron.  Bray comes up with blood in his mouth and nose.  LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  Bray breaks the Yes Lock with biting. Bray bails to the floor.  Bryan tries a suicide dive.  Bray catches him right into Sister Abigail's Kiss in the the guard rail.  Bray rolls him into the ring, does another one, and gets the win.

Really dope match.  They took their time and did what felt right.  A lot of "great" matches in the last few years have been really put on and feel like guys are trying to put on a great match instead of have a fight that ends up being a great match.  This was very old school in the way where it doesn't feel like anything is sequenced and worked out to be cool and get pops.  It's a hateful match between two guys who hate each other and aren't trying to put on a clinic of cool spots.  It had a lot of room to breathe and was very enjoyable.



Shield vs Daniel Bryan/John Cena/Sheamus Raw 1/27/14

Dean and Cena begin.  Leap from from Cena.  Dean is such a hot head.  Cena's colors are a mess.  Dark jorts with a bright blue belt, purple and black boxers, green wrist bands, gray shoes with a different shade of green accents and strings.  Cena and Roman have a face off.  The crowd chants for Roman.  Sheamus is coming back from a torn labia.  Cole reads off the list of guys Roman eliminated in the Rumble and could not have sounded less interested or enthused.  Unsurprisingly, Bryan is by far the most of guy of the match.  He pops in with kicks and ranas and a Romero special.  Looks like...Cena is going to be FIP.  Weird.  Roman hits the hanging dropkick and then a Superman punch on Superman!  He then appears to injure his knee being thrown to the floor.  Crowd is dead.  Long stretches of just silence.  That's because they'd been there for closing in on 4 hours at that point and likely saw the same 5 ads 6 times each.  Cena gets planted with a DDT.  Then an FU OUTTA NOWHERE.  Hot tag to Bryan.  Finally the crowd gives a shit.  We got a flyin' goat!  Sheamus gets speared, then Cena takes the worst spear I've ever seen.  No idea what the fuck he was trying to do.  THAT KNEE THAT BEAT JOHN CENA!  Rollins and Bryan are the only ones left and they're going after it.  Of course, Bryan has to hot tag to Cena.  Cena puts Roman in the STF.  Roman powers out and then JEKT.  The Wyatts hit the ring and a brawl breaks out.  The faces win via DQ and therefore have qualified for the Elimination Chamber.  

Pretty fun, although the crowd was mostly dead unless Bryan was around.  Raws are just so long to sit through live, and then to end the show with a long match on top of that gives you bored and tired crowds. 

Cesaro vs Daniel Bryan Smackdown 2/6/14

JBL is already being annoying as shit.  Stiff uppercut gets the first seagull pop of the night.  They do a pretty nifty World of Sport/lucha spot.  Short arm scissors!  Hopefully that means I'm about to see a Backlund Lift.  Backlund Lift electric chair!  Love the Backlund Lift.  My how times have changed.  Cesaro is getting put over on color and heading into the Elimination Chamber title match.  Bryan could still wrestle.  Time flies.  Big boot!  Bronson special.  Cesaro moves out of the way from the running knee off the apron and Swagger takes it right on the chin.  WE GOT A FLYIN' GOAT!  Lariatooooo.  Bryan wins with a satellite head scissors into the Yes Lock.

Pretty fun, although short.  Didn't have the intensity that their match on Raw during the Bryan's gauntlet in 2013, but it was still an enjoyable time to be had by all.

Christian/Sheamus vs Real Americans Raw 2/10/14

Fucking LOL at Christian's hair.  What in the fuck.  His skin tone is also weird.  Like a gray pork chop.  Christian and Cesaro begin.  Soon, Sheamus and Cesaro are knocking the shit out of each other.  King randomly asks JBL if he likes Christian's face.  Sheamus seems to LOVE trading uppercuts.  Like it's legitimately the most fun thing he had done in years.  I can't get over how bizarre Christian's skin is.  I've never seen a human that color.  He looks gray, yellow, and green all at the same time.  King again randomly shits on how ugly Christian is.  Very European uppercut.  Christian somehow kicks out.  Real Americans and their HOSS double team moves.  Let's see, Cesaro is berried beyond belief.  Christian is out, probably forever.  Sheamus is hurt.  Swagger is basically just around to job to Rusev from time to time.  Cesaro Swing!  Hot tag to Sheamus.  As Sheamus sets up the Bro Kick, Cesaro flies in OUTTA NOWHERE to wallop him in the face.  He's still able to hit it on Swagger a few moments later.

Fun shit.  Cesaro and Sheamus were just knocking the shit out of each other and LOVING IT, MAGGLE.  Especially Sheamus.  He looked to be having so much fun during those exchanges. 


Cesaro vs Randy Orton Smackdown 2/13/14

Cesaro gets Orton off his game immediately and with about 90 seconds is hitting the Karelin lift and double stomp.  He unloads some uppercuts.  A lot of them.  Orton dominates on the floor, though.  Headbutts and uppercuts for all.  Orton fights out of the swing.  Doesn't matter.  Cesaro is too stronk.  I think it went for over 20 rotations.  Hanging DDT looked especially stiff.  "Look at the Wrestlemania sign.  'Cuz that's important."  RKO is countered with an uppercut to the back of the head.  Very European uppercut!  There is some weird editing in this.  Sunset flip bomb.  ROARING UPPERCUT!  NEUTRALIZER!  CESARO JUST PINNED THE WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION 100% CLEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!

It's absolutely crazy how Cesaro's year has gone.  You see him in January-WM and how he's over as fuck, looking incredible, getting pushed HARD, even defeating the WWEWHC 100% clean in the center of the ring.  Now he has no intensity, gets no reaction, gets no push, commentary doesn't even talk about him during his matches.  He's just a dude to get beaten up now.  It's amazing.

Cesaro vs John Cena Raw 2/17/14

Again, Cena's color scheme is a mess.  Neon green wrist bands.  Jorts.  A black and white belt.  Grey and white shoes.  Red and yellow boxers.  Cena gets Cesaro frustrated early on.  Cesaro's power is immense, though.  LOL at saying Cesaro and Cena are very similar in the ring.  And in training.  Pretty much the same person.  Which again is such a huge difference than what commentary says about Cesaro today.  Which is usually nothing, because Cole and JBL will be giggling and arguing about some dated reference one of them made.  Cesaro has been dominating until Cena hits the half nelson neck breaker thing OUTTA NOWHERE.  Cenacanrana and NONE of the announcers even mention it.  How do you not mention John Cena randomly doing a rana?  Didn't even acknowledge it.  Too busy reading off Wikipedia.  Cesaro is just all over Cena.  Not letting the poor guy get a breath.  Giant swing is countered into the STF, which is countered into a Karelin lift.  Very European uppercut!  2 and 15/16ths!  FUCK YOU JOEY STYLES.  Giant swing is somehow countered into a DDT.  Dead lift superplex!  Swagger marking out for it was great.  STF countered into the giant swing.  Cesaro lands on his feet out of an FU and then gets clobbered with a lariato.  FU for the win.  A war.  Can't believe Cesaro's career path went the way it went this year.


Man, this stuff seems like a different era all together.  A lot has changed this year.  Roman being cool as fuck in Shield to lame as a solo face.  Everything related to Cesaro.  No more Bryan.  No more Punk.  No more Christian.  Dean yet to go full crazy face.  Bray yet to be a singer with the fans making his entrance dope.