TNA Genesis 2010
This is the first PPV of the Hogan/Bischoff era. It was heavily promoted as Hogan's return to PPV.
Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff come to the ring. Brooke Hogan is shown in the crowd. A "WE WANT SIX SIDES" chant starts up. The whole crowd. This is because the first thing Hogan and Bischoff did was bring back a standard ring. "I got one thing to say about six sides. You had it and it only got you so far. Now we're taking ya all the way, jack." To a chorus of boos. No more play pen rings! Fans have already turned fully on Hogan, on his very first PPV with the company. Hogan talks about Vince being scared to say the word "wrestling". Bischoff says the fans better get used to changes, because things are changing whether the fans want it or not. Hulk then directly calls Vince out. You know the best way to start a PPV? 10 minutes of talking. Apparently, the wrestlers didn't even know about the ring change until they got to the building.
The Amazing Red vs Brian Kendrick TNA X Division Championship
I forgot all about Red's return to TNA. Spanky was a mystery opponent and was also making his return to TNA. The last time Spanky was on television in the US, it was jobbing to Jerry Lawler. He starts by focusing on Red's arm. Red misses his spinning kick combo. Spanky also misses some kicks. Spanky does a chop block that Mongo would be proud of. Red is sent to the floor, right in front of Brooke Hogan. Spanky continues to work the leg, which makes a lot more sense than working the arm. Spanky goes up top and is kicked to the floor. Red has no problem climbing up top and doing a senton to the floor, again right in front of Brooke Hogan. Missile dropkick. From the dude who has had his knee worked over for 5 minutes. Spanky goes back to the knee as soon as he can. They have a ton of miscommunications at this point. Red is still running and doing spinny moves even though Spanky has worked over his knee the whole match. And he sells the knee. After he does moves he shouldn't be able to do with an injured knee. I can't hold that against Red, since even much better guys like Rey Mysterio does stuff like that all the time. Red wins with a Code Red from the apron. My favorite Red moment was Low Ki doing a koppo kick that knocked him out of the ring and knocked his bandana off on an early TNA show. I also loved Don West standing on the table cheering for him.
TO THE BACK. Hogan and Bischoff talk to The Band. The Band being Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Sean Waltman. Hulk says this is their one shot and they better make it count. If I recall, Hall and Kid kept sneaking into the Impact Zone and ended up getting booked. Kid and Hall do rock, paper, scissors to see who would team up with Nash tonight. I think Kid won.
Sean Morley vs Daniels
Brooke Hogan gets Val's towel. Gross. Hulk booked his daughter to get hit on by a wrestling porn star. Actually, he's a producer now. "Ladies, I'm here." Lol. I love when dudes go to TNA and have to change their catchphrases. Fans are already chanting "we want wrestling" and Val definitely doesn't look like a dude you want to see fuck. He also can't say the word "production", instead saying "per duction" multiple times. Holy fuck, "turn his mic off" chants. Fantastic. Val is supposed to be the face. Daniels is supposed to be the heel. Fans are 100% behind Daniels and want Val's mic turned off. Daniels does whatever he can to get heel heat, including saying he'd slap Brooke. Obviously, that doesn't garner him much heel heat. Daniels bails as soon as the match starts. Fans boo everything Val does. Val got hired because he worked on Hogan's Hulkamania tour in Australia. Fans chant for Daniels, the heel. I have to actually listen to this match just to hear the fans shit on Val. Daniels can't do anything to get heel heat. And Val can't do anything to get face heat. TNA fans were not into him one bit. Especially over a mainstay like Daniels. They have a very uninteresting match in front of a crowd that was either silent or cheering for Daniels at all times. Val slips doing the Money Shot. He wins. A number of fans in the front row turn their backs to the hard cam. I think there was a mandate to have Brooke in every non hard cam shot.
Tara vs ODB TNA Knockouts Championship 2/3 Falls Match
The very first spot is ODB pulling out some of Tara's weave. Tara spears her while ODB was disgusted by the hair. Standing moonsault. The video package before the match basically had ODB saying she didn't give a shit about a tarantula on her stomach because she's had a lot of cum and/or shit on her stomach in the past. You know how Victoria is known as a real wrestler? Can anyone explain to me why she runs the ropes as bad as Kelly Kelly? Tara wins the first fall with a small package in a few minutes. We're shown some fat guy in the crowd looking super bored. He's some kind of celebrity or sports star, I'm sure. Tarantula. The best thing about the first year or so of Hogan's TNA was the return of the old school WCW ramp that went all the way to the ring. I always loved that and wished WWE would use it for WM some year. Tara is kicked to the floor (near Brooke Hogan) just so we can get an ass shot. I find ODB hot in the weirdest way. ODB nearly wins with the rolling roll up thing that the Funks and Joe used to do. She slows it down with a leg scissors around the waist for what feels like 3 days. She also sells her vagina hurting. Could you squeeze your legs so hard around someone that it hurt your vagina? Is it possible? That just makes me want to watch Ancient Aliens. "Is it possible" is code for "shit is about to get wacky". More hair comes out. I think ODB popped a tit. Widow's Peak! Tara wins 2 straight falls. New champion! Cameras make sure to get Brooke Hogan cheering the win. After the match, it appears Tara was going to put her tarantula on ODB, but....
TO THE BACK. Christie talks to Pope. Christie is so hot. So stunning. I enjoy that Pope basically just did Dusty Rhodes but if Dusty Rhodes was actually black. It's a shame his TNA run died after his shoulder injury in his title match against AJ.
British Invasion vs Matt Morgan/Hernandez TNA Tag Team Championships
Matt Morgan is proof that Jim Cornette lost touch of wrestling sometime in the 90s. He was positive Matt Morgan was going to be this huge star. For years, he hyped up Matt Morgan. Matt Morgan has never been more than "Okay, I guess". His promo style is terrible. The biggest part of his character was that he was a tall guy who wasn't fat. He did have a sweet beard in his last TNA run, though. When you're a dude as big as him and Vince has no problems firing you, that should be a hint that you suck at everything. It makes sense that these two are teamed together because both were as good as they'd ever get by 2003. I should probably be paying attention to the match, but I really dislike Matt Morgan. I think he's terrible. I also think Brutus Magnus looks disgustingly British, but I like him. I'm more interested in shitting on Hernandez and Morgan instead of the match. Oh fuck, Nick Hogan is also at ringside. Remember when Hernandez Border Tossed Sarita into a pool? Remember that he only got her a few inches away from the edge of the pool even though she was a 120 pound woman and he could have easily thrown her way into the middle of the pool? Remember when he Border Tossed Gail Kim in the ring and almost broke her neck? Morgan pinned Doug Williams with a pump kick. New champions!
TO THE BACK. Bobby Lashley enters Eric Bischoff's office. Abyss was in there and attacked him. Then he felt bad about it. They had a match and now Lashley is knocked out. Hulk walks in and asks Abyss what the deal is. He makes Abyss SHOOT promise not to make him crazy. Hogan will have a replacement opponent for Abyss. The real reason why Lashley was written out of the match was because Hulk Hogan appeared on UFC to promote TNA. Bobby Lashley was contracted to Strikeforce. Strikeforce threw a fit and wouldn't allow Lashley to wrestle on the show.
D'Angelo Dinero vs Desmond Wolfe
It really seemed like Pope was going to be TNA's next star until he injured his shoulder at Lockdown. He was turned heel and never really recovered. He was in The Dark Knight Rises, though. I'd say being in a Batman movie is 1000% more awesome than being a star in TNA. Desmond is, of course, the former Nigel McGuinness of ROH fame. Nigel got brought in strong with his first program being against Kurt Angle. It was one of the last things Russo did before Hulk/Eric came in, which makes it even crazier how well he was booked. Pope nails a shoulder block. Nigel does the Ultimo Dragon headstand in the corner. Pope falls for it. I actually liked Nigel far more in TNA than ROH, because he wasn't able to spam lariatooos as much in TNA. Pope does a weird Boston crab in the ropes. Second rope first drop only gets 2. Apparently, Pope is a giant douche in the back and that was also a big reason why his TNA run didn't work out. Pimp slap and balls to the neck. Pope may have hurt his leg doing the move. Nigel used the ropes by doing snap mares near them, sending the back of Pope's knees right into them. Nigel then does all kinds of leg submissions for the next few minutes. Pope fights back with some hard chops, only to get laid out with an elbow to the face. Pope gets out of the Tower of London and hits an STO. He hits Konnan's old 187, which gains him no favor with me. Pope can't capitalize due to the leg work. Nigel does some weird ass submission involving the ring apron, ropes, and cameraman ledge. Pope spinebuster OUTTA NOWHERE. Nigel goes back to leg work. Pope nearly wins with a small package. Nigel tries some wacky Euro shit. Pope counters this with a rope hanging neckbreaker. Sitout Alabama Slam, Kanyon style. This is the first match fans have cared about tonight. Pope goes for the double knees in the corner. Nigel does a lariatoooo instead and gets the pin.
TO THE BACK. JB talks with Eric Bischoff. Actually, Bischoff just took over the segment. Until further notice, JB will be off TV. Bischoff then brings Christie Hemme in. Ric Flair shows up and stares Eric down. Ric Flair goes where the greatest talent in the world is. I'm not sure that was worth the money I'm sure Flair got for his 40 seconds on PPV.
Kevin Nash/Syxx-Pac vs Beer Money
The best part about The Band, besides trying to redo the Wolfpac in 2010, was that they had a knock off of Hogan's knock off nWo music. Kid and Storm start out. I believe I heard a "Hogan sucks" chant in the opening moments of the match. Some BM double team offense on Kid. Nash is tagged in. Taz breaks copyright laws by saying "X-Pac". Rooooooo takes down Nash and tags out to Storm. Wishbone splitter. Then a drop toe hold into Nash's balls. Those old, saggy balls. WWE should have let him stay gray instead of trying to dye his hair. Kid gets knocked off the ropes and Taz again says "X-Pac". Spin kick to Storm. Storm plays FIP for a bit. Bronco buster. Nash looks like he wants to take a nap. Hot tag to Roooooooo. Even TNA didn't book Kevin Nash in a ladder match. Actually, was he in a King of the Mountain match? Scott Hall saunters down to ringside. Hall randomly beats up a fan. Sadly, the fan wasn't one of Hogan's kids. Kid tries to stop Hall from beating up this kid who looks like the creator of Facebook. Rooooooo rolls up Nash after a superkick to win the match. Nash isn't happy with Hall after the match. I have no idea what the point was in Hall beating up a fan.
TO THE BACK. Eric and Hulk talk about how they are going to handle The Band on Impact. "Ask not what TNA can do for TNA, ask what Hulk Hogan can do for TNA." What the fuck are you talking about, Hulkster? I hate invisible camera men. It's been a staple of wrestling since the Attitude Era, but it makes no sense to me. Obviously you're on camera. If you somehow don't see the camera, you can see you were recorded on the TV show when it airs. So if you know that many of the things you do in your office that reveal your secret plans are on TV every week, maybe you try to hide them better.
Mr. Anderson vs Abyss
I remember actually enjoying Anderson's run in 2010. I liked him in WWE as well. But it didn't take long into his TNA run to make me realize why he didn't work out in WWE. He seemed to completely give up after BFG2010. This is a guy who started out feuding with Undertaker. The only guys who started out feuding with Taker were Khali and Kane. Little did the world know, Anderson would fit in more with Khali than Kane. This is also Anderson's TNA debut. That's actually not true as he worked a few shows in the Asylum days. Hulk wanted Abyss to drop the hardcore stuff. Anderson got an "overrated" chant. I realize I'm not really reviewing move for move. This show isn't about move for move stuff. Abyss probably wasn't the best opponent to debut Anderson with. It's not interesting. The dead crowd isn't helping. Going on the road may have cost TNA a lot of money, but they had to get out of the Impact Zone. It was probably the best move they had made since bringing in Joe. Shock treatment! That move looks like it would fuck both guys up. Abyss brings a chair into the ring. Anderson jerks off and cums brass knuckles. The brass knuckles are enough to put Abyss out. After the match, Anderson does the Peter Griffin sell job.
AJ Styles vs Kurt Angle TNA Championship
God damn, 2010 might have been the worst period ever for Kurt looking like he was about to die. He looks like he's been on chemo for 6 months in the promo package. If Kurt doesn't win tonight, he won't get any more title shots against AJ for the rest of the year. "You're both awesome" chants for the guys locking up. Impact Zone, you had been great tonight with your chants. Why do you have to ruin it in the main event? Kurt gets the better of AJ in the opening exchange. They then do an indie respeck exchange. Of course. I wish that spot would die forever. So stupid. AJ wins a game of pea knuckles. AJ dropkick. One of the best dropkickers of all time for sure. AJ works over the spine. Which I guess means every move he does or something. AJ goes for a dive. Angle moves out of the way, so AJ stops at the apron. Angle then trips him up and goes on the offensive. Tiltawhirl back breaker. Kurt rushes AJ into the corner so hard his own mouth piece went flying out. Allegedly. It looked pretty normal to me. AJ fights back only to get caught in a German suplex. Chin lock! Randy Orton's signature move! Double cross body block. Ric Flair comes to ringside. Angle is thrown to the floor. AJ does a dive and Kurt immediately grabs his knee. DVD into a neck/back breaker. AJ then follows up with a springboard forearm. Styles Clash is countered. Rolling German suplexes. AJ arm drags out of the Angle Slam. Release German suplex. Pele! It gets "Ole" chants. Lariatooooo from Angle. AJ kicks out. AJ comes back with a lariatooooo of his own. Kurt dodges the back flip reverse DDT and belly to bellys AJ into the corner. Diving rana from AJ. AJ misses the springboard 450. Angle Slam! AJ kicks out. Of course. No one has lost to the Angle Slam since 2000. Kurt misses a moonsault. He's probably hit that 4 times in his career. Kurt counters the Styles Clash into the ankle lock. AJ of course gets out because no one has tapped out to the first ankle lock attempt since 2001. AJ tries a super Styles Clash. Kurt fights out of it. AJ then tries another diving rana. Kurt turns it into his own Styles Clash. AJ kicks out. Angle Slam is turned into an Angle Slam. AJ then hits his own Angle Slam. Kurt kicks out. AJ goes up top. Pop up Angle Slam! AJ kicks out because finishers don't mean dick in TNA. Flair hasn't moved since he came out. He might be dead. Ankle lock. AJ is in it for what seems like 3 hours. Even after the grapevine, which is supposed to be ultra instant death, AJ is able to hold on until Flair pulls the ref out. Kurt goes after Flair. AJ catches him in an lariatooo. Ric slides AJ the title belt. Belt to the face! Flair throws Earl back in the ring. AJ wins! Mike Tenay might be the worst announcer after at expressing disbelief. AJ and Ric celebrate as Tenay says he can't believe AJ won, even with help from Ric Flair. Way to put over your champion, fuck face. You bird faced punk. AJ "shocks the world" by either beating Kurt or cheating as a heel champion. I'm not sure.
DQ Count: 0 out of 8 matches
I can't believe I've watched 4 TNA shows in a row with no DQs. The show felt like an extended Impact, but the fans turning on Hogan, Val, Bischoff, and Anderson was pretty great. Angle vs AJ was good, but not the best match they'd had against each other.