TNA Bound For Glory 2010

It's been a banner year for TNA. Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff made their debuts, taking over the company creatively both on and off screen. Much like WCW, TNA was really insistent on hyping up that they had new writers. Impact would jump to Monday nights, thinking they could finally legitimately challenge WWE. They were trounced and got lower ratings than they did on Thursday nights. In fact, they often had higher ratings for the replayed shows on Thursdays than first run Monday night shows. Also much like WCW, Hogan would bring in various buddies and ex WWE guys that no one wanted to see, including Val Venis and the Nasty Boys. On Hogan's first PPV, he changed the 6 sided ring back to a traditional ring, which fans violently rejected. He more or less told them to deal with it because TNA didn't count before he got there and the 6 sided ring was for kids. Other talent brought in included RVD, Jeff Hardy, Orlando Jordan, and Mr. Anderson, who was fresh off his WWE firing...of a year prior. It was still sold as a major acquisition. Long term TNA talent like AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, and Chris Daniels were shoved down the cards, off the cards, and out of the company in the case of Daniels. Scott Hall and Sean Waltman were brought back, despite both men having no-showed multiple PPVs in the past. The WWE Hall of Fame rings of Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair became major plot points. Abyss was given Hulk's rings. It gave him super powers.

Also of note was an angle where former ECW wrestlers, lead by Tommy Dreamer, appeared on shows attacking TNA wrestlers. Dixie Carter, (who had gone back on her promise to never be an on screen character) would offer them contracts. She then revealed that she invited them, which meant she invited old ECW guys to come in and beat up her wrestlers for no reason. Not only that, she gave them a PPV, forcing her own scheduled PPV to be done in a condensed version of Impact so there could be another ECW reunion show. In 2010. However, WWE threatened legal action if TNA used anything ECW related, which meant that ECW was not allowed to be said (instead, EV2.0, The Original Era, and That Other Company were used) and numerous wrestlers had to go by altered names for the show.

That all leads us to Bound For Glory, TNA's Wrestlemania. Months ago, Hulk Hogan's HOF ring ended up turning Abyss crazy. He began feuding with Hulk Hogan, claiming to be controlled by "They", who would arrive in TNA on 10/10/10, the date of Bound For Glory. Sting had been leery of Hogan and Bischoff since their first day in the company. Kevin Nash agreed with Sting as they reformed their Wolfpac partnership. Inside information from Bischoff's personal secretary revealed that Hogan and Bischoff had something big planned. And with that, we start the show.
 



Motor City Machine Guns vs Generation Me TNA Tag Team Championships



Fucking Young Bucks. So small. YES I SAID SMALL. And they're wearing basketball shoes. Those are probably good for superkicks. I don't know the names, so I'll refer to them as Matt and Jeff. Matt and Alex start the match. Enziguri. I'll have to keep track of superkicks in this match. Quick tags and rapid fire double team moves. Shelley is tripped and dropkicked in the head. Jeff is tagged in. More rapid fire double team moves and a double suicide dive from the Guns. Double Randy Orton DDT from the Bucks. Spinny kick thing from Jeff. Sandwich dropkicks. I hate the Young Bucks about as much as I hate Konnan. Double stomp/knee drop thing from Shelley. He makes a hot tag. I don't like any of these guys. I really used to be a big mark for the Guns as a team and solo, but I now really can't stand t his kind of "do 15 moves chained together as one big move as quickly as possible" bullshit. Matt does a reverse Code Red, which is even dumber than the regular one. Matt botches his corkscrew diving Kanyon Cutter. BONG! 450 with Sabin behind draped in the ropes. Shelley breaks the pin. Lol, spear from Matt. Moonsault/splash combo. More Bang For Your Buck is countered by Shelley hanging on to Jeff after the moonsault and Matt just staying up on the ropes so Sabin can springboard off Jeff to do a German superplex. Guns win with a neckbreaker/frog splash combo. Titles retained. No superkicks from either team? What the fuck?
 

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TO THE BACK. Christie Hemme talks with Madison Rayne and Tara. Madison immediately calls Christie a bitch, pig, and skank. She also took a potshot at Mickie James.



Tara vs Madison Rayne vs Velvet Sky vs Angelina Love TNA Knockouts Championship Special Guest Referee: Mickie James
 


In the pre match video, "dyke on a bike" was used to refer to Tara. It also included the Beautiful People taking a shot at LayCool in WWE for no reason that needed to be in this video. Taz makes a cumming joke during entrances. The Beautiful People start out. Taz might be creepier than Jerry Lawler. Mike and Tenay talk about their love of "the pink". Madison's legs were no joke. Velvet does the whooooos herself while doing chops. That's some Marc Mero shit right there. I kid you not, when Velvet did an octopus, Taz called the move and Tenay said "E" for no reason right after. Talking 'bout pussy, y'all. Tara loudly calls her spots. Tara ended up pinning Velvet with a ROLL UP, because loldivas. This pisses Madison off as Tara was apparently her slave. Tara's reaction was a big oh shit, probably because she knew getting the title meant she'd have to get a second job at a Sunglasses Hut. Mickie hit Madison and blew a kiss to Tara. The match ended with the ref's music playing.

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TO THE BACK. Christie talks to Eric Young, who has magic marker tattoos covering his body. He's asked about his weird relationship with Orlando Jordan. EY cracked the code: OJ thinks EY is his dad. As it turns out, most of OJ's family had abandoned him due to his alternative life style. "Who cares if he's bi............polar." OJ then walks up dressed like Lady Gaga. He offers Christie a lick of his sucker.

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Ink Inc. vs Orlando Jordan/Erik Young



Jesse Neal was a former service man and was paid so much by TNA that he had to apply for foodstamps to feed his family. EY has a TNA rule book with him. He started getting really wacky after a concussion on Xplosion. OJ's gimmick was supposed to be a positive role model for bi and gay fans. Instead, he was portrayed as a creepy as fuck sexual deviant who would fuck anyone at all times. EY starts the match by putting the ref on the apron and reffing the match himself. Taz makes wiener jokes. Shannon Moore's career died the day CM Punk called him a poser and bitch slapped him. EY takes turns wrestling his own partner. EYOJ both are crotched on the top rope. Ink Inc then shake the rope because lolgay. Taz says the hotel is down the road. Also, Orlando is wearing make up and Taz is disturbed by Orlando's pin attempts. EY gets a hot tag and is a house of fire on his partner as Ink Inc stand back and watch. Ink Inc hit their finish for the win. EY celebrates with them. He didn't turn on OJ or anything, that's just EY being EY. OJ was going to attack EY, but was then distracted when EY bent over. For real. This happened. All of this happened. Taz made a prison rape joke.

TO THE BACK. Christie talks to Jeff Hardy, who has the nipple cut out of one side of his shirt. He's going to be the champion tonight.



Douglas Williams vs Jay Lethal TNA X-Division Championship



Man, Lethal's run under Hogan was so weird. He started still doing the Black Machismo thing, then had a feud with Ric Flair, in which he beat Flair clean with the figure four. He'd then get sent back to the X-Divison, win and lose the title at house shows, be back to opening matches, and then fired for no reason. And his firing pissed the locker room off so much that it was actually made part of a storyline. For people who didn't get fired. Lethal Combination early on. Doug shrugs off a missile dropkick as Taz talks about opossums in England. Cravat. Lariatooooooo! It might be my favorite wrasslin move of all time. Nothing is better than a stiff lariatooo. Maybe a great piledriver. Lethal hits a series of dropkicks and a Lionsault. Lethal tries a hand spring elbow. Doug caught him and turned it into a German suplex. Lethal kicks out. Doug starts being a right twat. Explodaaaah. Chaos Theory! Lethal kicks out! Doug does a super rana. Lethal rolls through and gets the win. Title retained. Lethal celebrates in the audience and is attacked by Robbie E. Robbie gives him a Kanyon Cutter! BANG! This and the following promo gets absolutely zero reaction. I always though Becky Bayless was hot.
 

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Abyss vs RVD Monster's Ball



This came about when TNA made a deal with RVD for a set amount of dates. They gave him the title anyway and then when his dates were up, they did an angle where Abyss attacked him with a board full of nails that punctured organs and left him covered in so much blood you'd think he was literally dead. RVD recovered just fine with no scars or lasting effects once he signed a new contract. Abyss accidentally pokes his head with the nail board during his entrance. Also, the board's name was Janice, which was named after Dixie Carter's mom. THEREEE HEREEEE. But not here as in this match. Just here in general. RVD comes in doing a bunch of kicks. Chair skid corner dropkick Abyss bails to the floor. RVD follows out with a dive. A barb wire covered board is thrown in the ring. Remember the ones from the match with Abyss/Sabu? It's like that, except with two strands of wire. RVD nearly gets slammed on it. He got out and bulldogged Abyss on it. Abyss appeared to be stuck. RVD did Rolling Thunder and Abyss SWERVED him by rolling out of the way. Abyss gets a table. It is bridged between the apron and guard rail. On the other side, one of the barbed wire boards is bridged in the same manner. Abyss is put on the table. RVD does a rolling thunder over the ropes and through the table. "This is wrestling" chants. For dudes going through tables. Van Daminator. RVD goes for the Van Terminator. As he was posing, Abyss got up and threw the chair at him, knocking him through the barbed wire board. Because the board was the thinnest possible plywood, RVD basically had nothing to break his fall. He also appeared to hit his arm and back on one of the legs of the guard rail. Abyss is shoved face first into another board in the ring. RVD is clearly pissed off after taking that hard bump. Van Terminator with the barbed wire board. Abyss dodges the frog splash. He gets Janice. RVD hits him with a chair and uses it himself, hitting Abyss in the gut. Abyss immediately has blood coming out of his mouth. It was the same color and consistency as a Hammer Dracula movie. Frog splash for the win.
 

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Video recap of Sting's problems with Hogan. In the video, Sting refers to WCW and Kevin Nash talked about "workers" and how Hogan was the biggest worker of all. Sting, Nash, and Pope knew something was up with Jarrett, Hogan, and Bischoff.



Kevin Nash/Sting/The Pope vs Jeff Jarrett/Samoa Joe



Joe decided he was on the side of Jeff and Bischoff. This was actually originally planned to have Hogan in the match, but his back surgeries prevented it. Tenay and Taz say they are sick of the angle, that it's gone on for too long and has been too confusing. For a while, Sting was back to his Wolfpac face paint. Thankfully he doesn't have that tonight. Joe and Pope start out. Joe had already given up on TNA by this point. Belly to belly. Flying knee. Pope tags out to Sting. Sting instead goes after Jeff. Joe attacks. Sting easily fights him off and nails a Stinger Splash. The second one was countered with STJoe. It goes to the floor. Nash attacks Joe from behind. Tenay calls it a cheap shot. I'm not really sure who are faces and who are heels in this. It seems like Sting and Pope are faces and Nash is heel, Joe might be heel, and Jeff is supposed to be a face but is acting like a heel. Nash lays Joe out in the corner. Pope tries to do his twisty elbow thing. He couldn't get up for it and has to try again. He then flipped the hard cam off. Fans weren't even giving him shit for it. Joe is prevented from tagging Jeff. When he's finally able to make the tag, Jeff short hands him and drops off the apron. He didn't seem happy about doing it, though. They told Joe so. So yells FUCK THE WOOOOORLD and fights anyway. They gang up on Joe. Nash wins after a jackknife.

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TO THE BACK. Christie talks with Mr. Anderson. Anderson got hit in the freaking nuts. That shit hurt. Both of them. Equally.

Team 3D come to the ring. They have a major announcement. Bubba gives a history lesson. Team 3D is officially retired. But they want one more match. With the champs. Of course. Devon didn't even get to talk during this whole thing. And when he finally got to say testify, their music had already hit and played over him talking. Taz says the Guns are the champs and really have nothing to gain by facing 3D. This drives Tenay ballistic for some reason. They got fucking heated with each other. Tenay wouldn't even look at Taz. The only way I'd ever pay for TNA is if they put a camera on Tenay all show long and I can watch him make weird faces for the whole show.

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TO THE BACK. Christie talks with Fortune. Flair talks about man flesh getting Christie hot and that he's going to kiss her ass after the match. Flair gets pissed that the producer is wrapping them up.



EV2 vs Fortune Lethal Lockdown



EV2 was chosen as the replacement for ECW because it would sound similar when chanted by fans. Mick Foley is with EV2. Flair is with Fortune. Dreamer, Raven, Sabu, Stevie Richards, and Rhino are representing EV2. Fortune is AJ, Kaz, Matt Morgan, and Beer Money. Flair comes out wearing the cocktail dress tank top that Test and HBK used to wear. He and Foley start fighting and Flair immediately blades right in front of everyone multiple times. He wasn't even pretending to hide his blade on the way to the ring. He was actually playing with it as he came down the ramp. Over the course of about 30 seconds, TNA caught Flair blatantly blading 3 times. And Ric Flair is bleeding BEFORE the match even starts. A match he isn't in. Stevie and Kaz start out. Stevie repeatedly does neck breakers. Over and over. Kaz misses a guillotine leg drop. Stevie struts in front of Flair. AJ is next in. Figure four. In comes Dreamer. Why the fuck did Tommy start wearing MMA gloves? He spit water in AJ's face, which AJ sold like actual green mist. Mini tower of doom spot. The idea was that Kaz, being at the top, would land on Dreamer on the way down. He didn't. Tommy sold it anyway. Rooooooooooooo enters the cage. Dreamer is busted open. This sure is boring. Sabu! Crowd pops for him, but has otherwise been dead. The best thing is that even after blading 3 times, Flair barely has a trickle of blood on his head and whatever was there stopped bleeding quite a while ago. For the match he isn't even in. James Storm is in and we get a lot of double team moves with him. We miss some stuff to stare at the ceiling. Raven is the next man in. One ring War Games suck. There isn't enough room to run spots without everyone having to hang out in the corner. It's also visually less impressive. It basically turns into a battle royal. Morgan enters last for his team. He tries to powerbomb Sabu into the cage, but ends up holding him and basically ramming him head first, busting him open along the way. All the ECW guys are bleeding. Morgan smears blood on his chest. Rhino enters 1 second early. CHEATER! The match beyond begins! GORE GORE GORE to Storm. Flair and Foley start brawling and Flair AGAIN openly blades on camera. He does it again and the production crew finally gets the idea to cut to a different angle when he's doing it. The roof lowers and the weapons come into play. Like cookie sheets. What every hardcore cage match needs. On top of the cage is a ladder, a table, and solid platform with a sack. Raven and Morgan SHOOT on each other. Raven got pissed at a cane shot and double legged Morgan in the corner. Dreamer pulled him off. Matt Morgan misses a pump kick, hitting the door. Kaz then gets thrown throw the door. Stevie chases him up the cage. It looks like most of the guys are now outside of the cage. Kaz for no reason sets the ladder up. Kaz teases the Back to the Future from the top of the cage. Now the table is being set up. Stevie is placed on it as Kaz climbs the ladder. The bag comes to life and out pops Brian Kendrick. He climbs the ladder as well and then it falls over because the ladder had nothing firm and solid to stand on. Spanky is also dressed like a Jedi. Kaz is back dropped through the table. Spanky then starts meditating. Dreamer pins AJ after a super Dreamer Driver on a chair. Has there ever been even a decent Lethal Lockdown? Of course all the old, broken down guys with nothing to offer beat the team of TNA's best home grown stars (and Matt Morgan).

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TO THE BACK. Christie talks to Kurt Angle. Angle said if he loses, he'd retire. He's had that stipulation in probably 10 different matches in 2010, many of them ending in draws or no contests. "And Hulk, this one's for you."

We get a full on music video of the least hype inducing song I've ever heard so they can get the ring cleaned up. They kill a lot of time. The cookie sheets couldn't have taken that long to pick up.



Jeff Hardy vs Kurt Angle vs Mr. Anderson TNA Championship No Disqualification



Hogan's first BFG. Unsurprisingly, in every match with homegrown TNA talents and former WWE/ECW/WCW cast offs, the cast offs won. And the main event is just former WWE guys. Angle makes such a loud HUSS while punching. Belly to belly on Anderson. Double German suplex. Anderson probably got a concussion from his head bouncing off the mat. Kurt is back dropped over the ropes. He also hit his head on the floor on the rotation. Hardy dives on both men and may have also cracked his head on the floor. Finlay roll on Angle. Jeff kicks Anderson away and does his corner dropkick thing. Jeff does the Swanton. Anderson moves and Angle runs after Jeff while Jeff is on his way down. I have no idea what he was trying to do. Maybe catch him in a powerslam? Tower of doom spot. Anderson tries to pin both men. Both kick out. Rolling Germans. First to Anderson and then to Hardy. Angle does an ankle lock to both men at the same time. It looks as stupid as it sounds. Lambeau Leap to Kurt is followed by Hardy breaking up the pin with a full on Swanton, crushing both dudes. And this was still in Jeff's kind of chubby from drugs and house arrest phase. Super Angle Slam to Kennedy. Kurt appears to have maybe broken his wrist, hand, or elbow. Whisper in the wind and twist of fate. Jeff hits another Swanton on Kennedy. Kurt pops up to slap on an ankle lock. Jeff shoves it off, sending Kurt straight into the Mic Check. Bunch of roll ups. Kurt actually connects with his moonsault. Ref bump. Another mic check. Eric Bischoff makes his way out with a chair. Hulk Hogan's music hits. BUT HE WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! He hobbles out on crutches, apparently having never used crutches in his life. Atlas Security is with him to make sure he doesn't fall. BUT WHOSE SIDE IS HE ON?!?! Hogan and Bischoff square off. Jeff breaks it up. He then takes a crutch and whacks Kurt with it. He hits Anderson with the other. SWERVE! This is the blackest night in the history of this great sport. Jeff Hardy pins Anderson. New champion! New heels! Jeff Jarrett and Abyss also come out. Trash is filling the ring. People are giving Hulk the lightest hugs of all time. RVD comes out and confronts Jeff. Jeff clobbers him with the belt. THEEEEERRREEE HEEERRREEEE!

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DQ Count: 0 out of 8 matches.


Another so TNA it hurts show. All the ex WWE/ECW dudes (and lady) beat their homegrown TNA opponents. Ric Flair bladed 5 times on camera in a match he wasn't even in. Taz and Tenay got into a serious argument over Taz thinking there really was no need for the tag champs to put their titles on the line against a retiring team. The main thing is the 8 month giant SWERVE storyline that was actually spoiled on the very first night it started. You see, Sting from the start said that Hogan and Bischoff were trying to take over TNA. He said it for 8 months. No one but Nash and Pope listened to him. Bischoff went through all the months of torturing Jeff Jarrett, Hogan went through the motions of feuding with Abyss for months, all so they could have Hogan and Jeff Hardy turn heel and redo the nWo in the same building Hogan's original turn took place in. This time, Hogan was on crutches and could barely move, and it was in front of 3500 people. To be fair, there were only 8300 people at Bash at the Beach 1996. But of those 3500 people, nearly half were papered. And fans weren't throwing trash because they were mad at the heels, they were throwing trash because they didn't want yet another nWo faction with Hogan and Bischoff as evil authority figures. And now that I think about it, I can't figure out what the point was in Jeff walking out on Joe. Maybe he thought Joe wouldn't be down for what would happen in the main event? But if that's the case, why did Hogan and Bischoff even book the match? All it really did was spoil the turn at the end of the night by proving that Sting was right about everything all along.

Also, I really can't believe that TNA only puts stuff up in 360p on their paid YT service. The VHS rips of WCW shows from 1999 are of the same quality or higher.

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