TNA Turning Point 2005
Sabu vs Abyss Barbed Wire Massacre
I forgot that Sabu had a pretty significant run(s) in TNA. Sabu comes out with a bat. Six sides of barbed wire! I think my favorite thing about Sabu is how he'd just chuck chairs at people. The very first pin fall is broken up by Sabu getting thrown face first into the wire. The fans in the front row were great. They have a punch contest. Sabu goes down when he gets punched in his broken nose. The camera completely misses a snake eyes into the ropes. It was blocked by a barbed wire board. Sabu gets a spike or scissors out and repeatedly gigs Abyss' arm. Sabu attempts Air Sabu and goes leg first into the wire. Abyss' arm is shredded. Drop toe hold into the wire. JEEEZZZUS! Sabu keeps forgetting that he can't run the ropes. Chokeslam on a chair. Now there is a chair wrapped in barbed wire. Abyss puts it on Sabu and tries an Earthquake Tremor. Sabu puts the chair up. Sabu does two chair shots with the wired wrapped chair. Abyss rolls under the bottom wire. Sabu comes flying out with a crazy dive. Sabu throws a giant board covered in wire into the ring. Abyss suplexes him on to the wire from the floor. Sabu has puncture marks everywhere, his pants are all tattered up, Abyss' arm is all blood from just above the elbow down. Face first press slam on the wire board. CZFNW! Another board is brought in the ring. Abyss runs face first into it. Sabu sandwiches him between both boards and does an Arabian facebuster. ON HIS FUCKING FACE. Sabu wins. Brutal match.
We get a run down of the rest of the show.
EARLIER TODAY. Jeff Jarrett arrived in his limo. AMW arrived with him, but no Gail Kim. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!? Elsewhere, Rhino arrived in a truck.
TO THE BACK. Shane Douglas turns with the 4 Live Kru. FUCKING KONNAN. Christ. I can't get away from this cunt. The recently released Billy Gunn is now apart of this group, as Kip James. They talk about violating people. Elsewhere, Abyss is getting stitched up.
Replays from the match. We have a lot of time to kill to get the ring cleaned up and the ropes put up.
Austin Aries/Matt Bentley vs Alex Shelley/Roderick Strong
A Double! He's put on a lot of mass in the last 7 years. Fucking Matt Bentley. He was the weak link of his TWA class. By far. Yet he had a pretty long run in TNA. Stupid ass Bentley Bounce. Alex and Austin start out. I'm not into this. I turn away for a second and Roderick is doing wacky back breakers. Lionsault from Baby Bear. I don't know why, but this isn't keeping my attention at all, even when Bentley isn't in the ring. Doomsday dropkick/powerbomb/backbreaker. Austin kicks out. That should be a death move. Hot tag to HBK's cousin who does all of HBK's moves, but worse. Flatliner. Flying elbow. Alex stops all that with an enziguri. Fireman gut buster from Roddy, followed with a top rope senton from Alex. Roaring elbow into a superkick. Bentley pins Shelley.
TO THE BACK. Monty Brown is talking to a Bob the Builder doll as if it is Christian. Shane tries to stir some shit up. Christian couldn't take his spot even if he gave it to him. What? "G'd up from the feet up." Monty says some words that even Scott Steiner would call foul on, like magniliquently and rhetorician. The SWERVE is on you because those are real words. Jeff Jarrett shows up and says Monty Brown just doesn't get it. Christian is the golden child and flavor of the month. TNA management doesn't care what Monty does. Monty Brown is the face of TNA in 2006.
Raven vs Chris K.
Kanyon was a mystery opponent chosen by Larry Zbyszko, who is trying to get Raven to sign his release. Raven cuts a terribly cheesy promo before the match. Chris K, WE KNOW WHO THAT IS! Kanyon goes to work with a sweet neck breaker. He was basically retired by 2005. He had a bad injury in WWE before getting released, then another one once he was released. This is probably the last televised or taped match that he had. He definitely looks like he hasn't wrestled for a while. Raven also was fat and bloated as fuck. Second rope fameasser. Missed moonsault. Raven now does the ankle lock. They brawl to the stage. Raven hip tosses Kanyon down the ramp. Kanyon blocks the chair drop toe hold. He attempts the fameasser on it. Raven counters it into a powerbomb and hits the Evenflow for the win. Larry tries to get Raven to sign the release again. Raven won't do it and slaps Larry. Security has to hold them apart.
TO THE BACK. Shane talks with Team Canada. Bobby Roode is missing. Apparently, Petey was slapping EY a lot back then. He blocks a slap and says he's sick of Petey hitting him. So Coach D'Amore slaps him instead. Jeff Jarrett walks in with Bobby Roooooo and wants to know what management meant by the face of TNA changing in 2006.
4 Live Kru vs Team Canada
Fucking Konnan. Why do the wrestling gods insist on making me watch Konnan matches? I'm not even going to dignify this match. Konnan SWERVED Billy Gunn with a chair shot. Team Canada wins. He also hit Road Dogg after the match. He gave Truth a hug, though.
TO THE BACK. Shane talks with the Diamonds in the Ruff. Prime Time BUILT THIS HOUSE. This is wrasslin, not baseball. A New Age Outlaws chant drowns out most of the promo. I love baseball puns in promos.
Chris Sabin/Sonjay Dutt/Dale Torborg vs Diamonds In The Rough
Bobby Heenan does commentary for the match. AJ Pierzynski got into a scuffle with these guys and now we have the BASEBRAWL with the Demon. Johnny Damon is also in the crowd. Bobby is already bumming me out. This was before he got really sick, but he sounds like Dick Clark after the stroke. Skipper and Sabin start out. Did you know that Prime Time is a grandpa? Isn't that fucking weird? Bobby puts TNA over huge saying this is the best wrestling promotion he's seen in 10 years. Prime Time falls on his head getting rid of an arm bar. Bobby tells some stories about his time in Chicago as Tenay doesn't pay attention AT ALL to the match. Not a single bit. It's minutes in before he even calls a move. Lol, The Demon is on fire! He press slams Sonjay into the Diamonds. "We'll smarten West up sooner or later, right?" "No." Lol. Brain still had great timing even if he was hard to understand sometimes. The VIPs are here tonight, such as the former guitarist for Creed, and a high school teacher. Elix tries to break Sonjay's neck so he won't be alone in the hospital tonight. Spinebuster from David West. Bobby popped for it. Demon hits a terrible falling chokeslam on Simon Diamond. Assisted Asai DDT from Sonjay and Sabin. Hesitation dropkick from Sabin. Double dives. Simon hits Demon in the diamonds. Demon is hit with a shin protector. AJ pulls the ref out. Brain distracts the ref. Johnny Damon gives AJ a home plate, which is used to hit Diamond with. Sabin hits the Cradle Shock and Sonjay wins with the Phoenix Splash. All the players celebrate and waste time.
TO THE BACK. Shane Douglas talks with Christian about his upcoming match with Monty Brown. Christian tries to get a chant going. It starts. Eventually, but dies out seconds later. He thinks he's Rock or something. He's just a dot faced CLB. That's how I roll, you're going to get served...so very mid 2000s.
Christian Cage vs Monty Brown Number One Contender Match
A lot of attitude to start the match. Lol, Tenay says something about ow you have to prove yourself in TNA and don't get title shots based on promo ability. Christian dodges the POOOOOOUUUNCEEE and does Monty's taunt, which makes Tenay do a fake laugh worse than every Cole fake laugh ever. Christian gets out of a press slam and sends Monty to the floor. Big cross body. Monty counters the Unprettier into an electric chair. He then press slams Christian to the floor. A short bit on the floor before heading back in the ring. Flapjack Norton. Christian blocks a t-bone, but couldn't block the belly to belly. High knee in the corner. Christian holds on to the turn buckle as Monty tries to pull him out of the corner. The buckle came off. Christian does the Bret corner bump on the other side. Bow and arrow around the ring post. Monty is posted. Christian makes his come back. Crushing tornado DDT. Frog splash. Monty kicks out. Ref bump. Alpha Bomb! Monty would have won if the ref was in place. Monty goes into the exposed buckle. Unprettier. Christian wins and is the number one contender.
TO THE BACK. Shane talks with Team 3D. Lol, Bubba was so fat. Fuck, Devon looks fat as fuck, too. They've been in Japan. Bubba says AMW are going to tastes SOME MOTHER EFFEN DUDLEY 3D WOOD.
AMW vs Team 3D Tables Match
3D attack on the stage. I really hated 3D at this time. Super, super stale. They had been since 2002. They would be until Bully Ray. Braden Walker had a terrible mustache at the time. Fuck the match. It's every Dudley tables match you've ever seen. 3D won. James Storm was injured during the match and was still in the ring after the Joe/AJ promo package.
Samoa Joe vs AJ Styles X Division Championship
Oh shit. I was just watching this for Kanyon and had no idea I was getting AJ vs Joe and a barbed wire match. AJ attacks right away, pissed that Joe tried to kill Chris Daniels on Impact. Joe had random bleached spots in his hair. Looks terrible. AJ hits the great dropkick right in the jaw. AJ has studied Joe's war crate and knows how to doge everything. Joe unloads some kicks and sends AJ to the floor. Joe Cesaro's AJ into the guard rail. Joe was a bad mother fucker in 2005. Flying kick thing out on the floor. Didn't look very good. King Kong knee drop. Joe knocks AJ around for a while. Flapjack Norton and senton. Remember when Joe was fat, but it was a good thing? AJ gets pissed. Joe shuts him down with a slap to the face and brutal face wash. Joe continues to knock the shit out of AJ like he's trying to get money. AJ does a springboard something, countered into a powerbomb. Joe goes for the STF, which AJ rolls out of, but is then locked into a Boston crab. Then that high angle crab where you grab a dude under his knees. A desperation back drop sends Joe to the floor. AJ does the Fosbury Flop. He follows it with a springboard forearm to the back of the head. AJ flips out of a German suplex. Backflip into reverse DDT. Joe hits a powerslam that looked dangerously close to AJ getting spiked on his head. Joe starts throwing as many bombs as he can. AJ dodges most of them. Spin kick. Joe is rocked. Both guys are bleeding from the mouth. Full on powerbomb from AJ. LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. JEEEEEZUSSS. AJ is dead! But he kicked out! Tiger Driver. AJ kicks out! Pele! AJ attempts a muscle buster. He instead did a terrible Styles Clash. Joe kicks out. AJ went up top. Joe shoves the ref into the ropes. AJ still manages a roll up, which Joe turns into a rear naked choke. AJ passes out. New champ! This match was rad. It's weird seeing Joe being awesome and giving a shit. It's been so long. Joe attacked AJ after the match and laid out some security members. He continues until Chris Daniels makes the save. Security eventually breaks it up before Joe can give Daniels another concussion.
TO THE BACK. Shane talks to Rhino. He's going to GORE GORE GORE Double J to death. Literally.
Jeff Jarrett vs Rhino NWA Championship
Jeff does a great dropkick in the opening moments. The story of this match is Jeff is the experienced "superstar" while Rhino is the every day guy with less experience but a never say die attitude. Rhino does the Backlund lift. I'm a mark for that move. Pescado from Rhino. It quickly heads into the crowd. It then heads near the backstage area. Jeff is down. Now he's bleeding. I guess this is no count out or DQ. Rhino is using a chair and they've been outside of the ring for 4 minutes. They fight up some scaffolding. Rhino gets knocked off, landing on a table. Back to the stage. Suplex on the I think heel ramp. Rhino seems to have recovered just fine from that huge fall. He sets up a table near the entrance and GORE GORE GORES Jeff through the table. Kind of. The table didn't actually break, but instead slid. Team Canada attack Rhino and throw him down the entrance hole. They help Jeff back to the ring. The ref is counting now, even though 90% of this match has been outside the ring. Lol, Rhino is totally fine and runs back to the ring. Petey and EY get thrown out. Spinebuster. Petey interferes again and is ejected. Superplex from Jeff. Rhino hits a TKO. Jeff kicks out. The ref gets GORED in the corner. Stroke is countered into a belly to belly. Bobby Roooooooo comes out. A1 gets GORED. Rooooooo hits the Northern Lariatoooo. Rhino still kicks out. Jeff gets his guitar. He hits Rhino. Rhino kicks out! Jackie Gayda comes out, giving Jeff the business. GORE! Jeff kicks out. Rhino sets two chairs up. He attempts a super Rhino Driver. Scott D'Amore hits Rhino with a flag pole. Jeff does a super Stroke (lol) onto the chairs. Title retained. Lol. 5 men, 1 woman, 2 tables, 2 chairs, a guitar, and Jeff kicking out of the GORE. Sounds like TNA. The lights go out. Sting's music hits. When the lights come back on, a duster, boots, and bat are in a chair in the middle of the ring.
DQ Count: 0 out of 9 matches.
AJ/Joe was pretty dope. The rest was hit and miss, but most of the matches had one or two decent spots. Monty/Christian was decent, but was sorely lacking in POOOOOOOOOUNCE. The main event was typical over booked fluff for Jarrett to go over.