TNA Hardcore Justice 2010

Remember when WWE did the ECW reunion shows and they were awesome? Do you remember TNA did one 5 years later where everyone was even fatter, even more drugged up, and even worse wrestlers? And remember when WWE said they couldn't use ECW in anyway, so they came up with EV2.0? Well, let's remember it together.

Taz comes out to welcome the Orlando crowd to Hardcore Justice. He SHOOTS on all the people who shit on ECW. He says "alls" about 700 times. ECW revolutionized blah blah blah blah. If I recall, there was a full TNA card scheduled and announced for the PPV and they switched to this a week or so before. I think they had the TNA card on Impact.



Many guys tonight weren't able to use their ECW names, such as Tony Mamaluke being known as Tony Luke. Fuck, Simon Diamond is a fat fuck. He's as fat as Taz! Kid Kash and Guido start out. Series of roll ups into an INDIE RESPECK stand off. Not the least bit surprised. Tony and Swinger tag in. I forgot this show had that shitty blue lighting all night. Swinger fucks up a Backlund lift on the lightest dude on the show. Smothers and Swinger tag in to see who can jiggle more. I think Simon wins this contest. He desperately needs a singlet. Simon has a problem. "Shut the fuck up" chants are BLEEPED. Lol. Simon's problem is with Kid Kash. DANCE OFF! I have a problem. It's Simon's fat ass. Tracey grabs the mic, says that Michael Jackson is rolling over in his grave, and if they can't out dance them, straight up everybody dies. The heels attack during the dancing. Kid Kash does a big dive on to everyone. Kash and Tony Luke do some stuff. Tower of doom spot. Finisher fest. Guido pins Diamond with the Unprettier.

FBI vs Kid Kash/Simon Diamond/Johnny Swinger

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WHERE ARE THEY NOW? A segment where you can see how old and fat the non dead people got.

I REMEMBER. TNA stars give ECW memories.

TO THE BACK. Al Snow argues with Head, telling Head to stop trying to get those chants started that will get them sued. Stevie Richards asks him if he's okay. Al then references guys with sledgehammers, putting on masks after you wrestle, and wrestling on secondary shows. Hollywood Simon Dean Nova heads in. "He can't even use the shirt! We're so sued." They make more WWE references. Nova has a new Blue Meanie. Al Snow leaves because he's afraid of getting sued. Some dude walks in with a mini blow up doll, picking his nose. Fake Meanie and this dude pick noses. Fuck.
 

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CW Anderson vs Too Cold Scorpio

This is probably the only match that has a chance of being decent. Oh look, another indie respeck stand off. CW throws some punches, which fires Scorp up. Dude still has hops. Twisting pescado. This is followed with a high cross body. Strike battle. FIGHTING SPRITUUUUU. It ends with a superkick from CW, who then falls over. He begins working the arm. It would make a lot more sense to work the leg for a dude whose offense is completely derived from kicks and jumping around. Boxing combo from Scorp. CW lays him the fuck out with a left hand. STO from Scorp. This leads to a pinning sequence. Big wacky flip kick in the corner. Flipping second rope leg drop. CW gets his knees up on a moonsault. Spinebuster. 2 count. Superkick from Scorp. He goes up top. He Drops The Bomb and wins. Instead of signing dudes like Sandman, Dreamer, and Sabu, TNA should have signed Scorp after this. Handshake after the match.

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I REMEMBER. More thoughts on ECW from TNA stars.

TO THE BACK. RVD talks with Fonzie. Fonzie looks terrifying. RVD is talking about his match with Jerry Lynn, which now won't happen due to Jerry injuring his back. So instead, we get RVD vs Sabu!

Stevie Richards vs PJ Polaco

No BWO shirts, a fake Blue Meanie, and Justin Credible can't be Justin Credible even though he had wrestled under that name in TNA before. Huge chants for him, despite the actual ECW crowd hating and resenting him. PJ isn't in any shape to wrestle. Not as bad as Simon Diamond, but he's blown up after the first exchange. Justin does a pescado and his silly powerbomb out of the corner. Spinning DDT, which was That's Incredible in WWE. Stevie tosses Justin to the floor. He uses it to take a break. Stevie fires up. Side slam. A...not very good Batista Bomb. He goes to the second rope. Justin catches him with a superkick on the way down. That's Incredible! Justin pulls up as Nova was shit talking. Superkick OUTTA NOWHERE. Stevie wins. They should have done Scorpio vs Stevie instead. Justin beats Stevie with a cane after the match. The lights go out. IT'S MIDNIGHT! Actually, it's a drunk and fat Sandman. White Russian leg sweep. Cane shot. When I say drunk and fat, I don't mean like OG ECW. I mean like a dude who has done nothing but drink for 4 years. 

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WHERE ARE THEY NOW? More depressing everyone gets fat and old segments. Francine actually looked hotter because she didn't look nearly as trashy and instead looked like a MILF. She had a baby, so she actually was a MILF.

Tribute to all the dead wrestlers. Not even pictures or names. Just a graphic. I feel like there were names on the actual PPV.
 

Brother Runt vs Rhino vs Al Snow

This is so awkward how they can't even say ECW. They have to say things like "Original Era". Well, Taz said ECW right at the start of the show. Not during his SHOOT promo, but once he sat at the table. This is elimination rules. Al is quickly thrown to the floor, but trips Rhino and hits a back breaker on Spike. Spike tries a big dive. Both guys catch him and chuck him behind them. The TNA crew is watching and looking as bored as I am. Double stomp from Spike. Rhino throws off an Acid Drop. Spike comes right back with a spinning head scissors. I'm pretty sure Rhino was the only active wrestler. Al was office with TNA and I believe Spike was back to teaching. Ref bump. Rhino gets Head! Ref bump. Spike tries the Eddie phantom chair shot. Al does it too. I guess to blame Rhino or something. Acid Drop eliminates Al. Spike gets only to turn right into a GORE GORE GORE. Rhino wins. Hey, remember when Rhino was super pissy when Vince restarted ECW and burnt his ECW Championship on Impact because ECW was dead and buried? Yet here he is, doing an ECW reunion show in 2010.

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TO THE BACK. Mick Foley was reading Hulk Hogan's book and talks about the Dreamer/Raven feud. He will be the ref tonight.

I REMEMBER. More TNA dudes talking about ECW memories.
 

Axl Rotten/Kahoneys vs Team 3D South Philadelphia Street Fight

Taz immediately calls Balls as Balls. I believe he's done it with everyone who couldn't use their ECW names. Balls is pretty hard to understand on account of his meth mouth. He called anyone out. Team 3D answered the call. Actually, Joel Gertner answered it. The Dudleys are back to their tie dye. But generic tie dye that looks nothing like their old gear. Joel does a greatest hits and is completely out of breath just walking to the ring. This is as horrendous as you'd imagine. Axl can barely move. Balls is about half a step faster. I can't do (hardcore) justice to how bad this is. Oh, and it had a light saber duel. There was also a terrible chair battle. It's really one of the worst matches you'll ever see. CZW and XPW put on better matches. Total Divas put on better matches. Andre vs Khali vs Giant Gonzalez would probably be better and faster paced. Vince Russo is a better wrestler than whatever Balls and Axl were in 2010. Dudleys win after Balls is powerbombed through a flaming table. After the match, The Gangstas came out. A MIDI JHV of Natural Born Killaz played for the whole ensuing fight. Joel got hit with a guitar, which I think completely missed him and actually broke on the ropes. The fighting stops so everyone can hug. Wait, New Jack, the dude who wished Bubba's kids would get eye cancer, now hugs it out with the Dudleys? Lol.

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TO THE BACK. Raven cuts a terrible promo. At some point after 1999, he completely lost track of the Raven character and instead just did all of his promos as Scotty. He basically recaps the whole feud with Dreamer since they can't show any footage. Actually, now that I think about it, the Raven character basically died during the Raven's Day Off segments.

I REMEMBER. Lol, "that hardcore company". "That other company." "That era." This is so pathetic. Kaz actually says ECW, which gets muted.

JOEY STYLES. Guys talk about how they miss Joey and wish he was calling this show with Taz. Lol, FUCK MIKE TENAY. Everyone agrees with me. What annoys me most about this show is how Tenay talks like he was a part of ECW or something.
 

Raven vs Tommy Dreamer Final Showdown Special Guest Referee: Mick Foley

Beulah and the twins are at ringside. Tommy got probably the second biggest send off on WWE after Flair. For real. Then he goes to TNA and shits all over WWE for what they did with ECW. It quickly heads to the floor. Tommy spits energy drinks. Drop toe hold into two chairs. Tommy is bleeding RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS WIFE AND TWO YOUNG DAUGHTERS. Because that's what this show really needed. They just go through a best of collection of spots, but 1/3rd the speed of 1995. Two old, fat, bald guys bleeding on each other while sucking in wind. I thought the last match was terrible, but this is not far off. DVD. Iron Crossface with barbed wire! The fake Meanie and Nova hit the ring and attack Foley before Raven taps out. They then beat up Dreamer. Fake Meanie misses a splash. DDT/neckbreaker combo. Evenflow on Dreamer. He kicks out. Foley and Raven get into a fight. Mr. Socko! The nose picker from earlier comes out and does a guillotine leg drop to Dreamer. Foley punches him in the face. He then wraps Socko with barbed wire and gives this dude the Claw. He drags the dude to the back. In the ring, Raven has handcuffed Dreamer. Beulah runs out to beg Raven not to do anything. She hugs him. Raven hits Tommy anyway. He goes after her, but Foley stops him only to get hit with the chair himself. Beulah low blows Raven. Dreamer does a DDT with his hands cuffed. Raven kicks out. Raven hits Dreamer in the knee with the chair, then gives him another Evenflow. Raven wins. I guess he wanted to prove that a Jeff Jarrett overbooked finish had nothing on a Raven over booked finish. Tommy and Beulah walk out.
 

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TO THE BACK. JB talks to So Cal Val when the Gangsters show up. "What's happenin', white girl? You know what they say about black men? Once you go black, you get bad credit." The Gangsters might rape her. Now that she's gone, JB is left and that makes him New Jack's bitch.

PAUL HEYMAN. Stars give their thoughts on Paul. Raven compared himself to Robert De Niro.
 

RVD vs Sabu

RVD was the TNA Champion at the time. VAN ASSASSINATOR! These two were ultra sloppy together even in 1996. They were worse in 2006. So now it's 2010. This leads me to believe there will be some great botches. Fonzie and his fucking whistle. JB and SCV are probably getting raped right now. They do a very slow indie respeck stand off. Then taunts. A lot of taunts. They fight over a chair. Sabu gets it and ends up doing Air Sabu in the corner. Triple Jump dive into the crowd which Sabu actually nails. Camel clutch. Another attempted Air Sabu. RVD dropkicks the chair back into Sabu. Sabu's head or neck is bleeding. Rolling monkey flip onto a chair. Both guys go up for a springboard move at the same time and collide in air. Fonzie gets in the ring and gives both men bottles of water. They then both get tables. Guard rail leg drop. I can count on one hand had many times that move looked like it hurt anyone besides RVD. Super rana from Sabu, with RVD landing on a chair. Back to the camel clutch. RVD trips Sabu while he attempted a triple jump moonsault. RVD makes Fonzie hold a chair so he can do a springboard kick. Looked like garbage from everyone. Split legged moonsault. Rolling Thunder on a chair. Sabu does a crazy tornado DDT. Sabu tries an Arabian face buster through a table. RVD moved. 5 star frog splash. RVD wins. I can't believe there weren't any botches in this. The show ends with a big beer bash. Well, that's not familiar at all. 

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DQ Count: 0 out of 7 matches. Of the 7 matches, 3 were under 7 minutes, 2 were under 12 minutes, and the last two matches around around 17 minutes. That adds up to about 75 minutes of "wrestling" on a 2:42 long PPV.

This is the worst ECW PPV, the worst TNA PPV, and probably the worst reunion PPV. Despite a few guys looking like they still had it, the matches were atrocious, the avoidance of any WWE trademarks was hilarious, and Mike Tenay knew far more about ECW than Taz.  Much worse than December to Dismember.

The whole angle leading into this show was pretty stupid. A group of ex ECW guys ambush TNA guys one day. Dixie then decides to give them all contracts and a PPV, even though they pushed their way onto her show and attacked her talent. Not only did she give the ECW guys a PPV, but she actually took a PPV away from her wrestlers and had them do it on TV as a "PPV quality" episode of Impact. So the Angle/AJ match that probably would have been 20 minutes on PPV ended up being 8 minutes on Impact to make sure Axl Rotten and Simon Diamond could get a PPV pay day.

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