Grandmasters of Wrestling Vol. 2

Grandmasters of Wrestling Vol. 2

Apparently this was some New Jersey indy show from 1997 that for some reason was not only released on DVD, but also split into two DVDS.


Musical Intermission: Nikolai Volkoff vs Classy Freddie Blassie

Volkoff sings Hava Nagila.  Freddie Blassie (in a Raw is War shirt) then performed his hit song Pencil Neck Geek, with acoustic accompaniment.  He told a story about how popular the song was and how Dr. Demento played it repeatedly.  This is amazing.  He's reading the lyrics as the goof plays it on acoustic guitar.  Some dude walks IN FRONT OF THE HARD CAM with a hand written piece of paper saying it was the chorus.  I heard the hard cam operator sneeze or cough.  This is a long song.  He beat up the guitar player when the song was over.  As much as an old man on a chair can.  He told a brief story of managing Nikolai and was then presented a lifetime achievement award.  Truly one of the weirder things I've seen.

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Apparently this is a Jewish promotion, which makes Volkoff's musical choice make a little more sense.  Jeff Bukantz, a world class fencer, was given an award on behalf of something Jewish Maccabiah.  I can't tell if they had live fake crowd noise or if it was added later, but it's amazing.  Iron Mike Sharpe and The IRON SHEIK interrupt.  They want to protest because Sheiky Baby isn't getting any awards.  Iron Mike holds Jeff so Sheik can hit him with a title belt that had the Star of David on the sides.  Ken Patera rolled in for the save. 

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Bam Bam Big Yellow vs Nikolai Volkoff

Oh man, Ken Patera is on commentary.  "Awww, that did it, no more nice things to say about you, Bam Bam."  They lock up.  Bam Bam backs Volkoff into the corner and does not make a clean break.  Patera talks about Volkoff paying $68 for his hair cut and how the barber should be arrested for pretending to be a barber.  Volkoff works an arm bar.  Bam Bam claims Nikolai pulled his hair.  Bam Bam headbutts Volkoff out of the ring.  He then shoves Nik into the ring post.  Nikolai tweaked his knee since he landed on his feet instead of take any kind of bump.  "Definitely a uh, uh rule breaking move there."  Volkoff gets back in control.  Front face lock.  They do some mat wrasslin.  They brawl on the floor.  Both men throw the ref, who eventually calls for the bell.  Double disqualification!  Nikolai wants FIVE MORE MINUTES!  Save it for the next show, guys.  Bam Bam runs back stage and Nikolai ran after him.   Nikolai didn't take a single bump and all I could think about was the X-Pac timeline when he talked about how miserable it was to have to work him for the house show loop.  "Taking a fucking bump once in a while."

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TO THE BACK.  The announcer, who is also the interviewer, talks to the Iron Sheik.  He's the Maccabiah Champion.  He came from the greatest country, Persia, to the greatest American country, New Jersey. Intelligent Jew businessman is said a few times.  I heard something about Hulk Hogan and Howdy Doody Bob Backlund.  He pumps up Ken Patera's records, but lets him know that Patera is in HIS back yard of wrestling.  He rants about Olympics, Dan Gable, and so forth.  This whole show is going online after this.  It has to be seen.  "I'm gonna show all my intelligent Jew in New Jersey who is real champion!"  I can't understand most of what he's saying, but it's amazing.  Mighty Maccabee is going down tonight.  Freddie Blassie came in to pump Sheik and randomly shits on WCW.  All American Jew.  He does a Persian Club demonstration and then pulls his shirt off to flex and brag about his abs.  This was incredible.

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The Iron Sheik vs The Mighty Maccabee Maccabiah Championship

Ali Bin Shnore is Sheik's manager.  Mike Sharpe is also out with him.  Holy fuck, a ring crew dude comes out and tightens one of the top rope bolts that is so loose he can tighten it with his hands with no problem.   Before the match, Sheik wants to do another Persian Club demonstration.  He talks about intelligent Jews some more.  He's also wrestling in his TRUNKS tonight.  No singlet, no pants, no shirt.  Trunks.  He's going to sing the Iranian national anthem to a bunch of Jews in New Jersey.  IRAN NUMBA ONE!  Fuck, he can't say his opponent's name right.  After the match, he'll give anyone $1000 if they can do the clubs as well as him.  He does 103.  Even though they are much lighter than he did in the 80s, that still was pretty impressive.  A little kid introduces The Mighty Maccabee  This is the fencer dude from earlier, who is wearing a Star of David singlet and his fencing helmet.  This is one fall NO TIME LIMIT! 

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A guy with an Israeli flag singlet is getting a USA chant going.  This guy is clearly not a wrestler.  It's all stalling.  They finally lock up.  Sheik gets it to the corner when that evil Arab manager chokes and is then ejected by police.  Sheik tells the fans not to chant USA or he'll leave.  They don't so the announcer starts the chant himself over the PA system, which is also how commentary is done.  Sharpe trips Maccabee up.  It goes to the floor.  Maccabee is thrown into the announce table.  Sheik misses two chair shots.  Maccabee hits one of his own and then Mike Sharp is ping ponged between Maccabee and Ken Patera.   It heads back into the ring.  Sheik goes back to the floor and to the announce table.  He can't concentrate because of the USA chants that aren't going on.  The announcer again tries to get it going and the fans just aren't going for it.  The heels almost leave.  Test of strength!  Sheik easily overpowers his opponent, but gives him a boot to the gut anyway.  More cheating from the heels.  Ken Patera makes the save.  Maccabee blocks getting rammed into into the Iranian boots and then rams Sheik into the corner 10 times.  He then does a 10 corner punches to the shoulder.  Sheik has a Persian object to the throat!  We're back to the floor.  Sheik again misses a chair shot.  A second one is blocked.  Maccabee hits both heels with a chair and takes a lap around the crowd to celebrate.  Sharpe is again getting involved.  Loaded boot!  HE'S GOING TO MAKE HIM HUMBLE!  THE INTELLIGENT JEW IS BEING HUMBLED!  Maccabee gets out and locks on a sleeper.  Mike Sharpe enters the ring and breaks it up with a chair shot.  Iron Sheik is disqualified. 

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The Mighty Macabee is your winner, but doesn't get the championship.  But he doesn't want a cheap victory.  He came from the promise land and promised all his fans (he was super pleased with that) and he's asking Sheik to be a mensch.  FIVE MORE MINUTES!  Sheik says no.  If Sheik agrees to 5 more minutes, he'll agree to unmask.  The match is back on. The mask is removed...it's...another mask!  SWERVE!  Sheik hits a series of lariatoos.  Cobra clutch!  Mike Sharpe breaks it up, but this time there is no DQ.  Sharpe then attacks the ref.  Ken Patera gets in the ring and we have ourselves a SLOBBERKNOCKER!  Double lariatoo from Maccabee.  Patera is tied up in the ropes, Andre style.  Sharpe loads up the arm brace, but he accidentally hits Sheik!  Maccabee hits some solid lariatoos.  He gets his fencing helmet and hits Sheik with it from the second rope.  He then LOUDLY tells the ref, "I think I'm ready".  New champion!  The Might Maccabee is the Maccabiah Champion once again! He celebrates with all the future intelligent Jews. 

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DQ Count: 1 out of 2 matches.


Fuck.  This was amazing.  I haven't enjoyed a match this much since Bork/Punk and I mean that sincerely.  It's awful, but hilarious and I smiled through most of the match.  Sheik knows how to work a crowd of intelligent Jewish businessmen and their children.  This is volume 2.  Volume 1 I originally thought was the first half of this show, but was apparently a separate show that took place under a tent next to someone's house and might have been shot on a VHS handheld camera.  Maybe.  I've read a few different accounts of volume one, which may have featured Ace Darling vs. Mr. Motion, Iron Mike Sharpe vs. The Cheetah Kid, Misty Blue vs. Linda Dallas, and Iron Sheik vs. Nikolai Volkoff.

But I've found others who said they got Ace Darling vs Devon Storm, King Kong Bundy vs Mike Sharpe, and Metal Maniac vs Jimmy Snuka.  It's all a intelligent plan from the intelligent Jew businessmen to get you to buy as many copies to see if you get something different.   I have no idea how this ended up in a Central Indiana library, but I'm thankful to the intelligent Jew businessman who made it possible.

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