WCW Monday Nitro 12/7/98
Big news, fans, Goldberg vs Bam Bam Big Yellow will happen TONIGHT!
MOMENTS AGO. Scott Steiner beat the shit out of Wildcat Willy.
The tribute to Hulk Hogan airs again.
Scott Steiner and his ref come to the ring. Scotty drops the "steers and queers" line right off the bat. WCW is running Nitro in the Astrodome. You know, the place where WM17 was held. A place that holds nearly 70K people. For Nitro. He wants the people to bow to the new leader of the nWo. He's going to kill Scott Hall again tonight. He says he will break Hall's leg. Can you die from a broken leg?
Kendall Windham vs DDP
Excuse me, Kendell. Back to misspelling the names of wrestlers. Kendall starts by getting cocky and over powering DDP. DDP comes back with speed. It pisses Kendall off. Discus this lariat. Kanyon Cutter. BANG! That was quick.
A special interview with Tygress. She was an accountant before she was a Nitro Girl. It's a really unflattering interview from a visual standpoint, as it has terrible lighting and she looks like she woke up. This is so random. I thought it'd be 30 seconds, but it's been like 3 minutes. Seems like something that would have been used to fill time on Thunder.
Norman Smiley vs TAFKATAFKAPI
Bummer. Ruining Norman for me, Bischoff. Norman won with a terrible crossface chicken wing.
TO THE MEAN GENE. Eddie is the guest. He's not happy about Rey and Juvi wrestling. "YOU SELFISH LITTLE TURD!" He's going to discipline Rey tonight. With Silver King. Silver King's voice is shockingly deep.
Silver King vs Rey Mysterio Jr.
King starts right away with a lariatoo. Pop up drop kick. An arm drag sends King to the floor. Pop up rana off the apron. Wheelbarrow bulldog is countered by just letting Rey fly in the air. Whirly bird. Alabama Slam. Rey attempts a diving rana, but didn't get the rotation and instead slams to the mat. To make up for it, he does a big flip over the ring post. Rey wins with a second rope bulldog.
TO THE BACK. Goldberg arrives with police, security, and WCW officials. He comes across Nash, who is pissed that Goldberg is having a match with someone besides him. He says the match won't happen tonight. Kind of weird that he was so serious when during the contract signing he was making goofy faces the entire time and had been making jokes since winning WW3.
Wrath vs Renegade
Another easy win for Wrath. They should have had Renegade go back to being a Warrior rip off since Warrior bailed on the company with no warning.
Chavo Guerrero Jr./Disco Inferno vs Stevie Ray/Whoreass
Disco has a big announcement. He asks Konnan to come out to join him. Konnan's fake Mexican accent is so terrible. It's actually offensive. Disco's announcement is that Nash let him in the Wolfpac! No explanation as to why Disco and Chavo would be teaming, especially if Disco is now in the Wolfpac. Disco was pinned after a spike piledriver. Lex kicked out of one on a chair on Thunder.
Kevin Nash comes to the ring. Nash makes it clear that Goldberg doesn't run the show. Their contract says Goldberg will only face Nash. It didn't say that. It said Goldberg would not have any title defenses until Starrcade. Nash is joining the Bam Bam/Goldberg match.
Roddy Piper did a TV movie with Burt Reynolds. A TNT movie. I didn't realize Burt's career was so low in the late 90s.
Glacier vs Saturn
There were 31K fans for Nitro that night. That's crazy, but even crazier is that that isn't even half as many fans as the WWF would get in that building about 2 and a half years later. 67K is more than my entire city. In one building. For a wrestling show. Every single person in my city could have gone to WMX7 and there would still be a good 15-20K seats left. It really boggles my mind when that many people are in one structure. Football stadiums are even crazier. Cat and Sonny came out before the match. They're both hurt. This shit talking allows Glacier to hit a bunch of kicks. The match is thrown out when Cat tries to kick Saturn, but actually kicks Glacier. Glacier wins by DQ. When the ref awards the match to Glacier, the announcers are stunned. Well, a dude ran in and hit Glacier, so it makes sense to me that Saturn would get disqualified for it. Saturn hit a DVD on the ref after the match.
Lex Luger vs Emory Hale
This Hale guy is the guy who Jimmy Hart thought was going to be the next big star towards the end of WCW. He made like 3 appearances on the main shows and was with Jimmy on PPV when he faced Mancow. Lex won with the Torture Rack. Lex has absolutely ZERO direction right now.
Chris Jericho vs Bobby Duncum Jr.
Jericho still hates cowboys. This is the third match with these guys in 2 weeks. Big shoulder tackle sends Jericho down. Lariatoo. Back suplex from Jericho. He goes up top, only to get shoved to the floor. Duncum hits a pescado. Flying cowboy! Jericho comes back into the match with a missile dropkick. Running bulldog from Duncum gets a two count. Vader Bomb elbow drop gets a 2 count. Flapjack Norton. Superplex from Jericho. Powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip with Jericho's feet on the top ropes for the win.
Scott Putski vs The Giant
Chokeslam is the only move in the match. Giant rips on leather faces and rednecks, and says he's going to be the Grinch for DDP's Christmas. "You think you're the bang man around here?" Lol.
TO THE BACK. A trainer is taping both Konnan and the nWo ref up.
Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit vs Raven/Kanyon
Kanyon has to go to the back to convince Raven to get in the match. No one but Kanyon is there for Raven and it's bullshit Raven can't even go to the ring with him. Kanyon is sick of it. He's not going to wrestle tonight, either. The odds are 2 1/2 on 1. But he will face one of the three on Thunder. Kanyon shoves Arn. Arn pulls out a crowbar, which makes Kanyon dive in the ring only to get chopped. He runs away.
TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. The Horsemen are still in the ring, so Gene brings out Flair and Mongo. Flair talks about the legends of Texas wrestling. He calls Bischoff a "jackoff" and something else that was muted. Flair is going to rip his eyes out, kick him in the balls, choke him, and other violent and mean things. Flair was coked up as can be.
Konnan vs Booker T. WCW TV Championship
What happened to Booker's thing with Bret and his quest for the US Championship? Hall injured him, he came back to face Hall, then Hall turned face so Booker has nothing to do besides go back to the TV Championship. It would be the perfect time for Booker to go after Bret since Bret is now done with DDP. Stevie came out and hit Konnan with the slapjack as Booker was about to hit the missile dropkick. Booker almost hits Stevie, but changes his mind.
Scott Hall vs Scott Steiner
The nWo ref hops out, having been wrapped in tape by either Konnan or the trainer. Mickie Jay comes out and shoves him down. He's going to be the ref, even though he was the one who took the stand that no refs would be involved in Steiner matches. The B-Team hit the ring about a minute later. Lex and Konnan come out to even the odds. Giant came out and ruined everyone. DDP came out with a chair and cleared the ring.
TO THE MEAN GENE. NEW US Champion, Bret Hart comes to the ring. He knew it was going to be a big week for him when his cat, Smokey, jumped up in his arms. He will kill DDP if DDP gets in his way again.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs Goldberg vs Kevin Nash
Bam Bam sprints to the ring. Nash also ran out. They started the match and Goldberg ran out. No music or pyro for anyone. Goldberg and Nash get right into it. The match is thrown out as soon as they all get in the ring. Or maybe Nash wasn't officially in this match and that's why it was thrown out. Regardless, no match happens and it is instead a giant pull apart. WE'RE OUTTA TIME.
The sudden seriousness of Kevin Nash after joking around for 2 weeks with Goldberg is weird. He should have been serious right from the start, but instead treated the first two weeks as if he was about to have a match with Rey Jr. Bam Bam stealing the spotlight pissed him off, I guess.