WCW Thunder 7/2/98

 

I’m starting my drinking now, so by the end of the show, I’ll see how I feel. I may do a fully drunk Nitro after.

Chris Jericho vs Rey Mysterio Jr.

Jericho said he was supposed to be in the main event, but told the office to sit on it, because he needed to be out here early for his fans. He claims Dean Malenko has been ducking him for months. Dean gave Dragon a concussion! Because he’s a jerk. He flew in someone on his own dime who hasn’t been around in months. A match that will make all the internet marks and sheet readers go crazy. Rey Mysterio Jr! I think it might be Dominic. WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU VICKIE?!?! To be fair, he’s not THAT much smaller than Rey. Rey wins! Rey wins! Rey wins! New number one contender! I guess Dean won’t get his title shot at BATB. Lol. Jericho is a cunt.

The Giant comes to the ring. He’s speaking on behalf of Hogan. He says “Warrlblblablablalelellgkja;gkjblejlkjlfkboijoijeojioeje”. Hmm. That sounds more like something Giant would say, not Hogan. He challenged Luger to a match tonight. :(

Doc Dean vs Stevie Ray

Who is this jobber and why does he think that clicking his heels on the ramp will make him look tough? Stevie dominates this match like his name is Goldberg. Chavo rides Pepe out after the match. He has been trying to teach Eddie the same thing Stevie has been trying to teach Booker. He touches Stevie one to many times, and Stevie pie faces that sucka. 

Dancing Fools vs Public Enemy

This has potential to be awkward. We’re going to have a dance off. The Fools get mad and attack, but run away and dance on the floor. Wtf. That’s it? Lol. That was the whole match.

Jim Neidhart/British Bulldog vs Public Enemy

I guess the Dancing Fools weren’t supposed to be there or something. At least it had an interesting finish where Bulldog was going of the powerslam, and DF ran into them with the table at the same time. 

TO THE SCHIAVONE. JoJo is the guest. Ted Turner chartered a helicopter for JoJo to make this important announcement. For Nitro at the Georgia Dome, the following match has been booked: Hollywood Hogan vs Goldberg for the WCW Championship! 

A weird package on the the Flock is aired, which featured Raven standing in front of a billboard with video superimposed over it. 

Kidman vs Saturn

“Kidman no fat chix world tour” is Lodi’s sign for tonight. Saturn is going to kill poor Kidman. Belly to belly over the top. They’d do that spot again at Souled Out 2000, but through a table, and it was killer. Saturn goes for a dive and goes head first into the chair Kidman was holding. Kidman follows up with a big cross body. YOU CAN’T POWERBOMB KIDMAN. I think this is where it started. Slingshot legdrop from da Kid. Kidman stays on offense for a bit until he misses a Stinger splash. that’s what he gets for stealing the main eventers’ moves. BK Bomb. He goes up for the SSP, but gets caught. Gargoyle superplex. Belly to belly. Superkick to Lodi. This gives Kidman a chance to hit a tornado bulldog. Saturn hits the Elimination part of Total Elimination and then the DVD for the win.

Recap of Arn/Benoit talking from last week.

TO THE MONGO. An in depth interview with MONGO. Wat. He talks about why he joined the Four Horsemen and how similar it is to being on Da Bears. MIKE DITKA then talks about Mongo. 

Bobby Blaze vs Crush

More jobbers. Crush wins. No one gives a fuck. Dude doesn’t even wear his wrestling gear half the time. He has nWo gear, but he usually wears jeans and a shirt. Probably because he didn’t know he was getting booked until 30 minutes before the show. 

Raven comes to the ring and talks about the time he and Saturn fought as a kid, and Raven won. He gives Kanyon a stay of execution until he’s done with Saturn. 

Fit Finlay vs Booker T WCW TV Championship

Fit’s return match. He’s not fucking around and drills Book before he can even get in the ring. He is a really dick for a bit until Book comes back with the flying forearm. Side slam. Spinewalkbustslam. Spinarooni! He misses the side kick and gets dumped to the floor. Book hits a rope stunner and missile drop kick for the win. Way too short. Tony gets a word with Book after the match. He’s gonna fuck that sucka Bret Hart up. Stevie comes out to argue again. 

Chavo comes out and sets a Wile E. Coyote trap for Eddie. Eddie comes out. I hope he falls for the trap. Eddie trips the trap to SWERVE Chavo, and then attacks. I hope that burrito doesn’t go to waste. Brainbustaaah on the exposed floor! He puts Chavo in the corner and slaps him with the burrito. At least it didn’t go to waste. He’s got scissors and looks like he’s going to stab Chavo, but instead cuts a chunk of hair. 

Kanyon vs Konnan

The worst bait and switch so far. I thought it was bad when they gave me Norman or La Parka and then shit out Konnan. But now they’ve done it with Kanyon, and I can’t handle that. I don’t want some dude making Kanyon look like shit because he’s a terrible wrestler. The Flock are hanging out on the ramp. Well, Konnan made Kanyon look like shit, Raven came in and hit the Evenflow, and Kanyon got jobbed out to one of the worst dudes on the roster. Konnan saves Kanyon from a beat down. Kind of. He was too blown up to do anything and then got beat down himself. Lex came out and made the save. 

Lex Luger vs The Giant

3 minutes left, which is too long for this match. Even with 3 minutes left, the nWo has to hit the ring for a DQ. Konnan comes back out, still blown up. Fucking VIRGIL kicks his ass. Then the Flock hit the ring for some reason to fight the nWo. Giant just chucks Kidman over the ropes like he was a baby and Saturn chased Raven off. WE’RE OUTTA TIME.

Stro07/02/98Comment