WCW Thunder 7/16/98

 

Oh my god, a THREE HOUR Thunder. Fuck. 

TO THE NITRO. Tenay got some words with Nash after Hall SWERVED him for the second time. Nash was bummed. The reason he didn’t really say anything about the first SWERVE was because Hall has been going through some personal problems and hoped it would pass. He blames Hogan and Bischoff. 

Konnan vs El Dandy

Fuck you, Bean Breath. Not Konnan. Well, fuck him, too. But I’m not calling him bean breath. I only watch Konnan matches for the botches. But he botches so many little things that it is quite impractical to gif a whole match. 

Lizmark Jr. vs Ultimo Dragon

This doesn’t look like the real Lizmark Jr. He looks taller, darker, and more muscular. And less coordinated. Lots of spinning and flipping going on here. That isn’t very good. Fake Lizmark isn’t good. Dragon wins with the Dragon sleeper. 

Recap of Hennig getting out of his match with DDP last week. Also, Brain threw out the first pitch earlier in the day. He was clocked at 106MPH. 

TO THE SCHIAVONE. DDP is the guest in the ring. I like how DDP always looks to the crowd for a pop whenever he says Hollywood SCUM Hogan. Every time. I believe he just said he was going to fist Hogan. What? He’s got Hennig tonight for real this time. 

Dancing Fools vs Public Enemy

Tokyo Magnum again follows being Alex. This is such a weird feud. Alex and Grunge start out. Now that I think about it, I guess this feud does make sense. Disco, techno/club, rock, grunge, and J-Pop on the outskirts. It’s really a statement on the blending of genres and cultures. Disco does…something. I really have no idea what he was trying to do, but it didn’t work. I think maybe he was going for a neck breaker and slipped. This is clearly a house show match they’re working here. Rocco flips backwards to the floor and into a head scissors. The table gets brought in. Grunge was going to Vader Bomb Alex through it, but Magnum tipped it sideways and Grunge awkwardly waited and then missed the table on the way down anyway.

TO THE SCHIAVONE. Stinko Malenko comes out. He believes that Rey is the rightful champion, but some day, he and Jericho will meet again. He wants to talk to Arn Anderson and won’t leave the building until he does.

Roadblock vs Jim Duggan

Yep. 3 hour Thunder. Roadblock looks like 400 pounds of shit in a 200 pound bag. TERRIBLE look. Long, stringy hair. A onesie that just accentuates that he’s fat and not burly. He’s just fat and jiggly. God, this match is 10 minutes. What the fuck. Duggan wins with the Old Glory knee drop. 

Bret Hart comes to the ring. Man, Bret is bitter as fuck. He basically sounds like he considers wrestling to be a pimp and he’s a prostitute who can’t get out of the game. He’s running down the guys he has injured: Savage, Benoit (so that’s where he went, nice of someone to announce it), and now Booker (and he taunts him with some questionable racist impressions). Then he gets hit with an egg and doesn’t even miss a beat. No one is safe from Bret Hart. He was really giving some strong promos in WCW that I didn’t really remember.

Saturn vs Kanyon

Kanyon starts out with a really weird inverted back slide and then a skull fuck. Saturn comes back with an underhook suplex. Suplex to gutbuster from Kanyon. Dat innovation. So innovate. Stun gun. Saturn is about to lose. They both go up top. Saturn headbutts Kanyon down and then dives, but Kanyon catches him in a Northern lights suplex. He then hits a slingshot elbow for two. Saturn comes back with a superkick, but then gets hit with the fireman carry Flapjack Norton. Saturn holds the ropes during the Flatliner and then hits a t-bone. Spinning fisherman suplex from Kanyon. So many moves. DVD for the win. BANG!

Hypnosis vs Eddie Guerrero 

Eddie is stalling like a mother fucker. He then drills Hypno with an uppercut in the corner. Hypno comes back with a spin kick. Eddie bails to the floor only to get hit with a crossbody from the top to the floor. It goes back in the ring where Eddie hits a killer shoulder breaker and then locks on a tight kimura. He transitioned that into a cross arm breaker. Hypno makes a come back and goes up top for the leg drop. Chavo comes out with a domino mask on, riding Pepe. He actually looked more like Jado than the Lone Ranger. Eddie dives on both of them. Hypno hits a super rana back in the ring. He goes up for the leg drop again. Chavo tries to hit him with Pepe and totally misses. He ends up shoving Hypno off the ropes. Eddie wins with the frog splash and then chases Chavo away.

They replay the Nash interview from the start of the show.

Scott Hall comes to the ring. Hall gets to talk! He says the he’s been carrying Nash for that big goof’s whole career. But it is all about the money for Hall. He lost a lot of money during his “personal crisis” and Hogan and Bischoff were the ones to pay it back. Medium Sexy, the Nash Killa. He was in his ring gear, so maybe he has a match later. Then again, a lot of guys come to the ring in their gear just to do promos.

Ciclope vs Scott Norton

Norton is back! This is like the return show where WCW explained where missing guys have been or had them show up. Complete squash. 

TO THE SCHIAVONE. He brings Stevie Ray to the ring. He’d like to know what’s the deal with Stevie defending the TV Championship on behalf of Booker. They’re tight. Booker looked up from the hospital bed with his big brown eyes and looked up to his big brother, signed over power of attorney, because he knew Stevie would be a better champion and wanted him to defend it. He brought the hand written note from Booker. Booker also had a list of top opponents.

Stevie Ray vs Damian WCW TV Championship

Top contender. Hand picked by Booker T. Total squash. Slapjack for the win.

Scott Hall, Curt Hennig, Rick Rude, and Virgil come to the ring. Man, Rude and Perfect say some corny stuff. They run their mouths and Konnan comes out. They just keep talking, not even hearing Konnan. He calls Hall a punk MARK buster. Perfect calls Konnan a Mexican hairlip. He’s Cuban, guys. He’s not from Mexico. He just wrestled there. Still, fuck Konnan. 

Juventud Guerrera vs Rey Mysterio Jr.

Nice. Lucha respeck stand off. Rey hits a spinning head scissors. Rey tries a springboard and gets caught with a dropkick. Juvi hits a sling shot leg drop and a stalling suplex. He works a hammer lock and almost hits the RAIIIIINNNNMAAAKKKKEERRRR. Fuck it, guys, it is just a short arm clothesline. Rey gets some roll ups and finally a head scissors. Juvi hits a springboard dropkick. They both go up top. Rey hits a super rana. Then another spinning head scissors. Juvi catches an in ring Asai moonsault and drops right into a Juvi Driver. BRET HART comes out and beats both up with a chair. Man, I hope there is a Bret vs Rey match sometime soon, even if it is short. He also hit the ref. He puts Juvi in the sharpshooter and Rey in the ring post figure four. 

Barbarian/Hugh Morrus vs Chris Adams/Marty Jannetty

Well, Marty hasn’t been on TV for a while, and now he’s teaming with Chris Adams. Wat. I hope he takes the 360 bump from Barb’s boot. Hugh and Marty start it out. Superkick! That was enough to go right into the finish. Adams jumped in and Barb fucking waffled him with a lariat, then booted Marty, and Hugh hit the moonsault right on Marty’s knees. Meng comes out and puts Barb and Hugh down. He then chases Jimmy to the back.

TO THE SCHIAVONE. He’s with Dean again and Dean wants Arn to come to the ring. Arn comes out. Mongo follows. Mongo has been working on Arn and doesn’t want Dean to ruin it. Dean talks about best BFFs with Benoit and how he and Arn met while both doing a tour for NJPW. Arn got Dean his job in WCW and Dean wants to thank him for it. Everyone believes in Arn. “Because they have careers that will go anywhere but up.” I don’t think that’s what he meant to say. Dean flashes the four fingers. Arn gets fired up talking about the Horsemen and how you don’t join, you’re chosen. He talks about the sacrifices to be a Horsemen, like burying your grandma and wrestling later that night. Or seeing your son burn a hole in his foot, but having to leave when he’s crying for his daddy. Arn takes his shirt off and shows Dean the scar on his neck. This is an awesome fired up Arn promo. But he wants them to leave the Horsemen be. 

Scott Hall/Curt Hennig vs DDP/Konnan

Man, fuck this. TWO Konnan matches? Opening and closing the show? Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk. DDP gave the Wolfpack sign. So, is he a member of the Wolfpac then? I instantly don’t give a shit about this match. Perfect needs time off. His leg is in bad shape. Konnan is definitely the worst by far in this match, but Hall isn’t looking too hot himself. Lol, Hall does the Bionic Elbow. Perfect Plex on Konnan for the win. Good. Fucking Konnan. Hall took a Kanyon Cutter on the floor (BANG!) and appears to injure his elbow. 

There is no need for 3 hour Thunders, but this is also the last Thunder of the month, so maybe that’s why it was supersized.

Stro07/16/98Comment