WCW Thunder 6/24/98
The Giant and Virgil come to the ring. Giant is so cool. He smokes AND wears his sunglasses at night. All I can hear is “GWARAAHAHRLABLBAHAHRAGWARLAHRBLAHRABLHHHEEARRRGAARR”. He challenges Sting and any partner to a tag title match tonight. But Nash isn’t there, so I’m not sure they can have a tag title match.
Public Enemy vs Raven/Sick Boy
There is a sale at Bob’s Wire City. Raven can wait as long as Kanyon can. It’s Raven’s Rules, but they’re doing tags. Why? This is not good at all. PE are terrible without lots of plunder. And it’s Raven’s Rules, so there should be plunder. Saturn comes out and hits a crazy Superfly Splash from the top to the floor, putting Raven through a table. PE hit the drive by in the ring on Sick Boy for the win.
Eddie Guerrero vs Huge Cocknballs
Kind of a random heel vs heel match. I expect Chavo to come out pretty soon. Dropkick to the knee. Hugh is so fat. All he did was eat pancakes while he was off TV for 4 months. Just pancakes all day long. He misses a flying elbow. Eddie goes for the frog splash. Jimmy Hart grabs a chair and tries to stop him. Chavo then came out and acted crazy as shit. Chavo punches Jimmy. Eddie jumps off the ropes and gets caught in a powerslam. Hugh hits the moonsault for the win.
Konnan and Sting come to the ring. God, the red face paint was awful. Sting says Lex will be his partner tonight, filling in for Nash. I guess they’re operating under Freebird rules now, even though the titles were vacated due to Giant doing the same thing just a few weeks ago.
TO THE BACK. Tenay tried to get a word with Arn and Benoit, but they send him away. The cameras stay and capture their conversation. Benoit wants to bring back the Four Horsemen. He wants Arn to reform with him.
Sumo Fuji vs Stevie Ray
What a terrible and random match up. Only in WCW. WCW and WAR would have had the most incredible supercard. Stevie wins with the Slapjack.
Chris Jericho vs Ultimo Dragon WCW Cruiserweight Championship
Jericho being the champion is a bit dubious. At best. Jericho says he will defend his title, but not against Dean Malenko. This brings out Jojo. He says that Jericho WILL be defending his title at the Bash at the Beach against…DEAN MALENKO!!! Although booking him in a title match at the PPV right before this match kind spoils this match, no? It’s really basic stuff, sadly. Jericho did hit a dragon suplex. Dragon was about to win with the Dragon sleeper when Dean ran out and broke it up. He then threw Dragon out of the ring and chased Jericho to the back.
Bischoff comes out and introduces Big Papa Pump Superstar White Lightning Scott Steiner. They do another press junket interview. They show old clips of matches with Scott doing stuff while Rick is on the apron and talk about them as “projects”. He also compares himself to Clark Gable, John Wayne, and Arnold. I guess he was challenging his brother to a match, but Rick is out with a shoulder injury.
DDP calls in from Salt Lake City, where he’s training with Karl Malone. They’ll be at Nitro. He wants Hulk to bring Rodman.
Barbarian vs Jim Duggan
Lol. Get that shit out of here. I’m not watching any Duggan matches that aren’t in Mid South ever again.
TO THE BACK. Jericho is trying to get Ultimo to go the bosses and get Dean fired or suspended.
Disco Inferno/Alex Wright vs Steve McMichael/Chris Benoit
Oh man, please give me a dance off spot. Benoit should get along very well with Das Wunderkind due to their Aryan ideals. Alex hits a huge back suplex right away. He dances and turns around into a chop. Benoit suplexes Disco out of the ring. After a commercial, Benoit is beating the shit out of Disco. Nothing happens for a while and then does the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Mongo hits a shitty spinebuster on Disco, I guess as a message to Arn to reform the Horsemen, but I would have told Mongo to fuck off if I were Arn. Benoit hits the headbutt and Iron Crossface for the win.
Lex Luger/Sting vs The Giant/Brian Adams WCW Tag Team Championships
I am definitely watching Thunder. Giant can’t get his cig lit. Double back drop sends Giant to the floor. Lex is trying to grow a beard I think. Guess what? This match fucking sucks. Crush taps out to the Torture Rack. Sting hits a tornado Deathdrop on Giant. The rest of Hollywood hit the ring. Konnan is the only back up for Sting.