WCW Thunder 4/16/98

 

We open with a recap of the usual Nitro main event clusterfuck. We’re then given a nWo sponsored hyped video of Buff flexing in mirrors and talking to/about himself. 

Buff Bagwell vs Rick Steiner

Uh oh. Is tonight the night? The neck injury is coming soon. Pretty sure it was in April. So, either this week or on next week’s show. Buff gets a quick arm drag, but gets tackled while posing. He gets bumped to the floor and recoups by heel stuff. Belly to belly. Biting. Steinerline. Titus O'Neil has a better bark. Deal with it. Rick goes for the bulldog, but Scott ran out and knocked him off the ropes. Lex comes out and makes a save. I don’t want to see this tag match. 

TO THE BACK. Hogan cuts a super short promo about traffic and titles.

Kevin Nash comes to the ring. Nash/Savage vs Hart/Sting will happen tonight. He calls Hogan a turd. And turds float. Everyone knows this. He goes on to quote Jim Croce. Kind of weird for a serious promo. He’s going to beat up everyone in the bat match. 

Hype video for Goldberg.

Barry Darsow vs Goldberg

Lol. Again? DID U KNOW: Goldberg was roommates with Kevin Greene? I didn’t. I’m glad I know. God, Repo Man moves like an old man. Squash of course. Show isn’t promising so far. 

Raven/DDP hype video.

TO THE SCHIAVONE. JJ. FUCKING JJ. I can’t finish this show. I have to get booze. I’ll be back. Okay, I’m back. I’m going to finish this show out and start drinking for Spring Stampede. He announces that whoever wins the US Championship match will face Goldberg on Nitro. 

Booker T vs Rick Fuller WCW TV Championship

I’m ready to give up on Thunder for the rest of the year. WCW clearly already has. It made it 4 months. Fuller sucks. Book hits the big spine buster, ax kick, and a back suplex. Harlem side kick. Missile dropkick for the win.

More nWo recaps. Thunder is like Smackdown since 3 hour Raw started, which makes so much sense. 

TO THE SCHIAVONE. He announces Lex/Rick vs Buff/Scott at Spring Stampede. This brings the heels out, saying they didn’t agree to such a match.

Scott Norton vs Chris Benoit

I don’t mind this match again, but damn, they’re really rerunning a lot of matches lately. Benoit drags Virgil out of the ring and chops the shit out of him. Racist. Norton is all about racial equality and takes Benoit to task for his outdated and offensive actions. Press slam. Norton no sells chops. Imagine no selling a Benoit racist chop. Benoit is getting his racist ass dominated. Rolling racist German suplexes. It makes so much sense now why he did rolling Germans. Virgil interferes and causes a DQ. Booker comes out to make the save. Benoit didn’t appreciate it, because he’s a racist. That Chris Benoit should be erased from the record books for his racism. Disgusting.

TO THE SCHIAVONE. He brings The Giant…and Roddy Piper to the ring. Well fuck me. I was going to save the booze for the next show. WCW is pushing me to the brink even in their good years. Piper comes out on Giant’s shoulders. He’s a 48 year old man. Riding on the shoulders of another man while wearing a skirt. I have no idea what he’s talking about. Something about the Easter bunny. 

Super Calo vs Curt Hennig

Rude replaces Lee Marshal. I wonder if Curt will treat Calo like he did Nagata. Perfect Plex for the win. 

A long even for WCW look at motor sports. And then a long trailer for Lost in Space. This really is like Smackdown. Except there aren’t even any wrestlers in this movie. 

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs Chris Jericho WCW Cruiserweight Championship

Nice. Hopefully this gives me a gif or two. Lol at Tony saying “Unlike other promotions, when we say we’re going to have a match, we’re going to have it!”. Pretty sure on the very last show, they announced Nash vs Hogan, and had Nash vs Sting instead. Jericho is schooling Chavo with all of his moves. He throws Chavo off of the DDT, but gets hit with a clothesline. Liontamer. Chavo gets close to the ropes, but Eddie slaps his hand away. Jericho won’t let go of the Liontamer. Prince comes out and hits him with a scale. Eddie brow beats Chavo. Chavo thinks he could beat Jericho. Eddie proposes that if Chavo can beat Jericho (ahem, Dragon) at the PPV, their deal is off. But if he loses, Eddie will ride him twice as hard.

Hogan, Bischoff, and Beefcake come to the ring. They’re talking about littering. Littering and…littering and…littering and…

TO THE SCHIAVONE. With JJ. Again. Fuck. He’s assuring us that Lex/Rick vs Buff/Scott will happen. Bummer. Savage will not be able to compete in the title match at the PPV unless cleared by doctors. This means no cast. This brings Savage out. He’s going to kill Sting at the PPV. 

Brian Adams vs The Giant

Lol. Crush slips off the top rope. Virgil again causes a DQ. The rest of the B team come out, but Giant gets rid of them easily.

Raven hype video.

Saturn vs Silver King

Sadly, a quick squash. Saturn wins with a Gargoyle superplex and Rings of Saturn.

DDP hype video. 

TO THE SCHIAVONE. He brings DDP to the ring. He’s ready for Goldberg on Monday. He doesn’t forget what Raven has done to him, and he’s going to get his belt back this Sunday. “Oh yeah, Raven, yeah, you’re the guy who’s getting BANGED!” You know, I thought Jeff Jarrett was the first openly gay character not played for camp, but DDP might be the first. I love that no one batted an eye at him saying he’s going to bang guys every week. 

Randy Savage/Kevin Nash vs Sting/Bret Hart

Wait. Savage is clearly cleared to wrestle here, so why wouldn’t he be for the PPV? Why is that match in question if he’s already cleared to wrestle? Tony again railing about how they deliver what they announce, even though they don’t. Raw must have had some big match that week that didn’t actually happen. But the vast majority of Nitro main events end in a DQ in 3 minutes, so is that really better than the matches not happening at all? Bret and Nash start off. Lol, Sting tags in and immediately gets beat up. Deathlock on Savage. Nash drags Macho out of the ring. I’m interested in another Nash vs Bret match. Even their match in 2000 with a laziest possible Nash and concussed Bret was pretty good. Bret is the FIP in this match, which surprises me. Bret hits a big back suplex on Nash. Sting comes in and hits a Stinger Splash on Savage, but gets drilled by Nash. Savage gets his cast up for the next Stinger splash. He goes for the elbow, waits FOREVER for Hogan to come down and shove him off the ropes. Hogan and Nash then get into it and have to be pulled apart.

Not a very strong go home show. The most hyped thing by far was Goldberg getting the winner of DDP/Raven on Nitro. They talked about that all show long. 

The announced card for Spring Stampede

Kevin Nash/Hulk Hogan vs The Giant/Roddy Piper Bat Match

Sting vs Randy Savage WCW Championship

Raven vs DDP WCW US Championship

Lex Luger/Rick Steiner vs Buff Bagwell/Scott Steiner

Booker T vs Chris Benoit WCW TV Championship No Time Limit

Goldberg vs Saturn

TAFKATAFKAPI vs Chris Jericho WCW Cruiserweight Championship

Curt Hennig vs British Bulldog (Originally announced as Bulldog/Anvil vs Hennig/Adams, but the WCW Gods must have felt bad for me)

Chavo Guerrero vs Ultimo Dragon Chavo gets his freedom back if he wins.

Stro04/16/98Comment