WCW Thunder 3/26/98

 

TO THE BACK. Bischoff is in the production truck telling guys not to air stuff. “Who are you?” “You know who I am.” “I know who you are!” Lol. Wat. Doug Dillinger and security drag Bischoff out of the truck. They truck jockeys roll the footage anyway. The clip was of Nash and Hogan getting into it over who was going to get hit with a bat.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs Chris Benoit

This was supposed to be Eddie vs Benoit, but Eddie decided to make Chavo take the match and he’d take Chavo’s TV Title shot tonight. Benoit doesn’t give a shit and comes straight to the ring to chop the shit out of Chavo. Bischoff and Rick Rude run the announcers off. Sure, let’s ruin a good match with them bitching. Talking about Ken Starr and the conservative conspiracy. Benoit wins with the Crossface. Rude and Bischoff were gone by the break.

Hogan and Bischoff come to the ring. Fuck. 3 segments in a row with Bischoff? He’s got a hat on and his mullet in a pony tail. No nWo problems. None at all. Hulk also says “The WCW”, just like Bret. IT WAS AN INSIDE JOB! Kevin Nash comes out and says no one is pulling his strings. The Wolfpac is the real heart of the nWo. And if Hogan is in charge, why doesn’t Syxx have a job anymore and why is Scott Hall “too dangerous for live TV”? Syxx can’t cut the mustard and no one knows where Hall is. Lol, Lee Marshall is talking about live rounds. THEY’RE SHOOTING, FOLKS! Hogan will prove he’s trustworthy by teaming up with Nash tonight.

La Parka vs TAFKATAFKAPI

Fuck. It’s La Parka. But it’s Prince. And Prince is on a roll, so he’s going to win. And he does in like 2 minutes. The Northern lights suplex is not over as a finish, WCW. No dancing. No chairs. This is setting up to be the worst Thunder ever.

TO THE SCHIAVONE. With Lex. Fuck. This show. Lex got a boner when Hogan said he’d team with Nash tonight. Lex/Sting vs Nash/Hogan tonight. 

Police Academy 3 is on after Thunder tonight. What a drop from last week, which was Total Recall. 

Disco Inferno vs Chris Jericho WCW Cruiserweight Championship

Disco dominates the opening moments while Jericho screams and squeals. A drop toe hold on the bottom ropes changes the champion’s fortune. Disco comes back with a pop up spinebuster and atomic drop. Spinning neck breaker. People always pop when Disco is about to win. Underhook backbreaker and Liontamer for the win. Poor Disco.

Jerry Flynn vs Goldberg

The rematch. Hopefully they do some more MMA stuff. Huge belly to belly. Dueling ankle locks. Basically the same match they had as before, including a powerbomb out of armbar spot. 

Kidman vs Hypnosis

Psychosis is full face, hugging fans and everything. How strange. He tries a handspring elbow, Tajiri style, but doesn’t do it right at all. He goes up top and gets knocked to the floor. Kidman hits an SSP off the apron. BK Bomb. Now, is that move a powerbomb or a spinebuster? This is quite sloppy. From both guys. But I guess it might be hard for a non-English speaking Mexican and a non-Spanish speaking heroin addict to communicate. Guillotine in the ropes. Superplex. Sick Boy tries to get involved and accidentally hits Kidman. Guillotine leg drop for the win. 

TO THE SCHIAVONE. DDP comes to the ring. JJ sent him a fax saying he’d get the US Championship back from Raven. DDP wants to do it himself. Raven is SCUM! The snnn….Jake….is name dropped. Could they not just say they were both trained by Jake Roberts? 

British Bulldog/Jim Neidhart vs Curt Hennig/Brian Adams

WCW couldn’t even spell Anvil’s name right. Also, FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Saturn vs DDP WCW US Championship

Saturn isn’t playing. He goes right to work and DDP was caught off guard. T-Bone. DDP just can’t get any traction. Northern lights suplex. DDP is too tall for Saturn to do safe suplexes to. DDP finally gets a belly to belly, but that took everything he had left. Oh wait, discus clothesline. Saturn goes up top, but gets caught. DDP was going to hit an avalanche Kanyon Cutter, but Raven came out and shit talked DDP. Saturn recovered only to get caught in a Kanyon Cutter anyway. BANG! DDP runs off after Raven. Saturn wins by count out.

Eddie Guerrero vs Booker T WCW TV Championship

Booker wants Chavo to say what’s on his mind. Eddie won’t let Chavo talk. Eddie puts an international object on his hand while Book is talking to Chavo. Book turns around and gets drilled, but kicks out. Chavo throws it back to Eddie, who drops it. Eddie is disqualified. What the fuck. 15 second match. Eddie makes Chavo hit Booker with the object and put the boots to him. Benoit makes the save. I was hoping this would save the show.

Scott Norton vs Rick Steiner 

I lol’d at Rick just bouncing off of Norton. This has not been a very good show. Bulldog, Anvil, Crush, Rick Steiner, Prince, Hogan, Lex. Gross. Steiner uses his dog collar to punch Norton while in a back suplex. No way the ref didn’t see it, but he didn’t call for a DQ. 

Hollywood Hogan/Kevin Nash vs Lex Luger/Sting

Nash is in jeans. Hogan and Sting start. Tony actually had to remind people that Sting was the champion, because the main angle is the nWo problems and Sting being champing is a complete after thought. Hogan of course beats Sting’s ass until he has to tag out to Lex. Nash gets tagged in and dominates Lex. Polite tags. Nash accidentally hits Hogan. Savage comes out and attacks Sting and the ref. Hogan attacks Savage. Nash pulls Hogan off of him. Hogan and Nash square off. The rest of the nWo hit the ring. Sting is the only guy in the ring that wasn’t on Superstars between 1991-1993.

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