WCW Thunder 2/12/98

 

Not a very gif heavy show.

Let’s see what was happening on my birthday in 1998. I don’t remember what I was up to that day. I think I was in 4th grade and I’m pretty sure I was sick of birthday parties already. The last one I remember having was in 2nd grade and my mom made me invite everyone in my class, but I “lost” the invitation for this one cunty kid that I hated and didn’t want to come to my party. My mom made me invite him anyway and that’s when I gave up on life forever.

Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff start the show out. Two shows in a row. Fuck. Bischoff is declaring war on everyone from Ted Turner to the people who water the plants at CNN Plaza. Bret Hart is the number one guy on Hogan’s hit list. They ask for Randy Savage to come to the ring. He comes out. Hulk wants to bury the hatchet. Bischoff’s been able to get Hogan/Savage vs Sting/Luger booked for Nitro as a peace offering. But Hulk wants Randy to apologize for dropping the ball. Remember when HHH said HBK dropped the ball? That shit still is an inside joke in my family. Randy apologizes…and then punches Hogan! SWERVE! Down goes Bischoff! 

TAFKATAFKAPI vs Kidman

Louie Spicolli is back on color. “You shouldn’t be saying anything about bombshells in Oklahoma City, okay, Tony?” Um. Did Louie Spicolli just make an OKC bombing joke? In Oklahoma? 3 years removed? All these island dudes not wearing shoes in the ring. What the fuck. That seems like a terrible idea to me. Prince hits a cannonball off the apron, but Kidman hits a dropkick seconds later. Then another in the ring. 

TO THE BACK. Raven sends Riggs to the ring. Mortis walks in and says he wants to join The Flock. Raven wants to know why he’d want Mortis and that Mortis needs to be himself. And defeat DDP. DDP vs Kanyon! 

Back to the match. Kidman wins with the SSP.

Recap of the Steiners winning the tag titles on Nitro.

Meng vs Hugh Morrus

Dungeon of Doom EXPLOOODDDESSS. I’m drunk. Fuck Hugh Morrus. The fat fuck. It’s not like he was ever really in shape, but he was in a lot better shape in the last year of WCW than right here. Fat fuck. Creepy fat fuck. Hugh misses a moonsault. Tongan Death Grip for the win. Louie vs Larry was announced for Superbrawl. Similar to Benoit vs Punk being announces for Night of Champions. Barbarian has to pull Meng off of Hugh. Then he puts the Death Grip on Barb! Then kicks at Jimmy Hart. 

Mortis vs DDP WCW US Championship

Fuck yeah. Tiltawhirl slam. DDP goes shoulder first into the ring post. Mortis beats DDP down in the corner, but DDP pops up and throws all kinds of punches before a back leg front kick stops things. Hanging neckbreaker out of the corner. Skullfuck! Lol. DDP and Benoit will have a rematch at Superbrawl. Kanyon Cutter! Bang! I can’t believe that white trash stole Kanyon’s move and used it ON Kanyon. The Flock come out and carry Mortis to the back. Raven stops them and plants Mortis with an Evenflow on the ramp.

Recap of Mongo/Bulldog bullshit.

Steve McMichael vs Jim Neidhart

Fuck this. Mongo wins by DQ when the Bulldog came out and they brawled to the back. 

Buff Bagwell vs Chris Adams

Buff has the real nWo theme, which I believe means he has graduated from B-Team to A-Team. I get nervous every time Buff comes out on Thunder because I never know if I’m about to see a dude break his neck. Chris doesn’t like Buff’s posing, but it doesn’t matter much. Buff has too much stuff for an Englishman. Adams comes back with some suplexes and slams. Terrible piledriver. The kind where it basically ends with the taker of the move landing flat on his back on the piledriver’s torso. He then gets his hooks in and rains down elbows to the neck. Virgil gets on the ropes, only to get super kicked off. This gives Buff the chance to hit the Blockbuster for the win.

A special look at Juvi. 

Chris Jericho vs Chavo Guerrero Jr WCW Cruiserweight Championship

Jericho backs off to Billy Silverman. Chavo hits a back drop, but then runs into the ring post. Jericho brings him back in with a stalling suplex and then a butterfly suplex. Jericho locks on the Liontamer in like 3 minutes. Bummer. Could have gone much longer. Juvi comes out and gets Jericho to let go of the hold. Jericho tries to take Juvi’s mask off. Juvi fights it off and Jericho bails. 

Sick Boy vs British Bulldog

I’m ready for a gif. I hope this match gives me a gif. Even if it is from a botch. But I’m sure Mongo will come out and attack Bulldog. Bischoff comes out and runs Lee Marshall off. Dude is such a pussy. He backs down to everyone. Bischoff wants to know what kind of right wing conspiracy is being perpetrated against the nWo. All because They Live is on after Thunder. It would definitely be a liberal conspiracy if he was saying that today. My how times have changed. I would like to believe that both liberals and conservatives would agree on how awesome They Live is. Bulldog wins with the powerslam. Mongo hits the ring and they brawl some more. 

Recap of The Flock attacking at the end of DDP/Benoit last week.

Chris Benoit vs Raven

Raven attacks before Benoit gets to the ring. Cactus elbow. Drop toe hold on the chair. The chair is wedged in the corner and Raven is sent into it. Twice. Benoit then runs head first into it/the ring post. So awkward to watch these matches seeing what obviously caused him to snap. 5 German suplexes. Raven can’t stand. The Flock hit the ring and the match is thrown out. I don’t know why, it’s no DQ. DDP comes out of the crowd for the save. Saturn had Benoit in the Rings for most of this. He bailed when it was down to just DDP. Benoit screams that he doesn’t need DDP’s help.

Glacier vs Goldberg

Glacier wastes no time. Goldberg does a back flip to avoid a kick. Just normal meat head stuff. Corkscrew neckbreaker. Spear. Jackhammer. Glacier is melted. 

Ric Flair vs Lex Luger

This is Flair’s first appearance since losing to Bret. How Lex got out of the net was not mentioned. Still not interested in more Luger matches. This isn’t 1990. This is the Flair formula. Lex hit a superplex. He went for the Torture Rack, but Flair’s feet hit the ref. Lex reverses the figure four and Savage hits the ring to prevent Lex from winning. Hulk comes out and attacks Savage. Buff/Virgil/Konnan beat up Lex. IT’S STING! We’re outta time! 

Stro02/12/98Comment