WCW Thunder 1/21/99
We're going to have another Hogan/Flair match. Rey and Konnan have started a feud with Lex and Nash. Disco is a member of the Wolfpac and got a win over Wrath. He should get a title shot soon. This was from Indy. Fuck, Tenay and Heenan both fucked up reading their script in the opening. This might have actually been the show I went to and not the previous Thunder from Indy.
TO THE BACK. B Team meeting. Stevie Ray is mad that no one has told them what's going on. They all got into an argument. Virgil randomly gets a letter at the door. Bad weather prevented the Wolfpac from coming. Virgil decides to stand on a table and hit his head on the ceiling. What the fuck.
Jerry Flynn vs Disco Inferno
Hopefully the streak continues. Flynn does all kinds of kicks. Front leg back kick. Back leg front kick. Teep back leg front cock swing inverted roundhouse. Disco comes back with a swinging neckbreaker. Flynn misses a He's got a bicycle kick in the corner and turns around into the Chart Buster. The streak continues!
TO THE BACK. The B Team are testing walkie talkies so they'll know when the Wolfpac show up. We're still with them when we come back from break. Stevie is sick of the B Team shit. Virgil pulls out his phone. He's got Hulk's number on speed dial. No one answers. Whoreass informs the rest that the Wolfpac have arrived. It was the Horsemen. SWERVE! Down goes Whoreass. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!? Flair heads to the ring.
TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. Gene again follows Ric to the ring. Flair announces that The Outsiders are no longer champions and a tournament will start tonight and end at Superbrawl. Wait, The Outsiders haven't been champions since last Spring, and the tournament has been going on for 3 weeks. He gives the same list of NWA Champions and says that he was a real champion while Hogan was making money in MSG. Hogan can't carry Ric's jock strap. Why would he want to? Could Ric make him do that as president of WCW? “Do you think Jericho grew up watching you or me?”
TO THE BACK. The B Team discovers Horace. Did they not have a monitor in their locker room?
Al Green vs Saturn
“Life's a drag.” How clever. Saturn has a new red dress. Al actually dominates until he pulls Saturn's dress up and smacks his ass. That dog. Saturn hits all of his moves and wins with the DVD. The moral of the story is to not get fresuh with Saturn.
Recap of the last few weeks with Raven and his family.
Glacier vs Kenny Kaos
Since Rick Steiner picked him to be a tag champion when he had no partner, why couldn't Kenny pick a new parter and continue to be a champion? We are certainly back to Thunder being Thunder. The Wolfpac declined to appear and Glacier, Al Green, and Kenny Kaos are having matches. Kaos wins. No one cares.
TO THE BACK. More B Team problems. I think Horace was talking to a trucker on his walkie talkie. Virgil tries to unite the group. Virgil stays behind and reveals a Wolfpac shirt. SWERVE.
The B Team comes to the ring. Lol, Virgil gets promo time. What the fuck is going on with this show? He enters Crush and Horace into the tag team tournament. They're mad for some reason. He then challenges the Horsemen to a 6 man tag. Stevie/Norton/Virgil vs 3 Horsemen.
Norman Smiley vs Booker T.
Norman! Poor guy's streak is probably about to end. Maybe they should have a dance off. They work over some arm bars. Norman gets waffled with a lariatoo and rolls to the floor. Some fan keeps rubbing his head. Being that it was in Indy, I bet it was his first chance to touch black people hair and he had to take it. Norman goes after the knee, but gets drill with a flying forearm. I want to be friends with Norman. He seems like the nicest guy. Stun gun. Norman teases the wiggle, but doesn't feel it is the right time. Smiley Slam! Wiggle into a slap. Booker comes back with a powerslam. Kick combo. Spinewalkslambuster. Ax kick. Norman bails when Booker goes for the missile drop kick. Booker wins via count out.
Recap of Steiner trying to fuck the Nitro Girls. Twice. I mean they played it twice.
Brian Adams/Horace vs Kidman/Chavo Guerrero Jr.
Kidman and Whoreass start off. Shades of things to come. Kidman uses his speed to get the better of Hogan. Tag to Chavo. Crush low bridges him and works him over on the floor. I wonder why Crush thought it was a good idea for him to wear tights and no shirt. One of my least favorite small man tag team moves: Dropkick your partner in the back while he's held up in a slam. Makes no fucking sense. It's not like they ever dropkick the opponent in the face or something. No, they dropkick their partner right in the back. Tiltawhirl back breaker on Kidman. After the break, Kidman hits a tornado bulldog on Horace. Horace hits a big boot that Barbarian would be proud of. Horace finds out that YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN. Virgil runs in and hits Kidman with the slapjack. Crush makes the pin and the nWo advances in the tournament with no brackets or announced teams.
TO THE BACK. The B Team celebrates. Stevie wants to know where Virgil got the slap jack. He took it out of Stevie's bag.
La Parka vs Rey Mysterio Jr.
Bring it, yo. Fast paced spinny lucha stuff. Why weren't La Parka and Norman a team? Rey isn't impressed with the dancing. Rey comes out of the ring with a springboard diving rana. He attempts a victory roll and gets slammed right on his little face. Pop up dick kick from Parka. He goes flying into the ring post. Spinebuster. Parka goes up top and gets knocked off the ropes. Rey wins with a double rotation bulldog.
TO THE MEAN SCUM GENE. DDP finally returns. He's been doing PR stuff. He better watch what he says about Scott Steiner. He's so pissed he can barely talk. DDP is going to be Scott's hook up. Instead of SCUM, this promo had “The way I see it” said 5 or 6 times.
TO THE BACK. Virgil no longer wants to be called Vincent. Just call him VINCE from now on. He then tries to drink raw eggs. Should have been screaming I HATE AUSTIN, I HATE AUSTIN. He finds a camera. Someone was filming them. As it turns out, the Wolfpac were watching from their limo. They were not impressed with what they've seen of the B Team tonight.
VINCE/Stevie Ray/Scott Norton vs Chris Benoit/Ric Flair/Steve McMichael
Man, the president of the company really shouldn't be doing Thunder main events with the B Team. That makes no sense to me. He really shouldn't be wrestling much at all, but especially not on Thunder against Virgil. Benoit OF COURSE knocks the shit out of Virgil. He couldn't wait to do that. Norton powerslams Mongo. Virgil keeps wanting to get tagged in and gets his ass kicked. Flair makes him tap to the figure four. Benoit locks him in the Iron Crossface after the match. Fucking racist. And then spits on him.
DQ Count: 0 out of 7. How bizarre.
As much as I dislike everyone in the B Team as wrestlers besides Norton, I can't help but enjoy a show that was 70% based around them being idiots. It was so dumb, but I liked it. Virgil going on a power trip and thinking he's the leader was ridiculous.