WCW Monday Nitro 1/4/99

 It's a new year.  Kevin Nash is the WCW Champion after much interference.  In order to prove himself as a true champion, he offered Goldberg a rematch tonight in the home base of the Georgia Dome.  The last time they were in the Georgia Dome, Goldberg defeated Hollywood Hogan to win the WCW Championship.  Will lightning strike twice?  Ric Flair is officially in charge starting tonight.  Hollywood Hogan will be on hand to make his first appearance since announcing his retirement.

TO THE NITRO PARTY.  We got to meet the grand prize winner, who got to have a Nitro Party AT Nitro.

Glacier vs Hugh Morrus

Lol.  What a way to start the year off.  In the last month, WCW ran the Astro Dome, TWA Dome, and Georgia Dome, which means over 100,000 people in just 3 Nitros.  Hugh has shaved his head and still looks like a fat ass.  This is the battle of the giant knee braces.  Hugh accidentally nails Jimmy Hart.  He lariatoos Glacier and hits the moonsault for the win.

TO THE BACK.  Arn Anderson and the Flair family arrive in their limo and are walked into the building.  BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?

TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. The Flairs, Arn, and rest of the Horsemen come to the ring.  Ric thanks the fans for their support.  He believes WCW to be the best wrestling promotion in the world, but a tyrant has been running it for five years now.  He demands Eric Bischoff come to the ring.  Instead of firing Eric, he's making him Tony Schiavone's assistant.  Lol.  His second order of business is rehiring Randy "Pee Wee" Anderson at double the salary.  Next, he's removing nWo branding from PPV events and then books himself in a handicap match against Curt Hennig and Barry Windham at Souled Out.  David Flair wants to be his dad's partner.  Ric says he's not ready, but Arn convinces him that David know what he's doing. Of note is that future champion Charlotte was in the ring for this. Wearing knee high boots. At 13. The Flairs are a weird family.

Booker T. vs Emery Hale

Hale is a big dude.  Too bad he sucks and they botch an Irish whip 20 seconds into the match. Book hits a spine buster, Harlem side kick, and missile dropkick for a quick win.

Bischoff won't get involved in the show.  Tony's going to have to have meeting with Flair over this.  Tony explains all the producers talking in your head set that tell you to say things you might have already said, but you have to say it anyway. Really showing Eric the ropes here. Maybe someone should have done that in 1995.

Norman Smiley vs Chavo Guerrero Jr.

"I never thought I'd say I miss Mike Tenay."  I wish Tony got to SHOOT on Tenay on Nitro one night.  A dropkick sends Norman to the floor.  They fight on the apron until Norman hits a rope stunner.  Chavo gets in a series of roll ups, but can't get the win.  Dropkick from Norman.  He takes time to dance and gets hit with a missile dropkick.  Norman tires to dance and falls over.  Chavo attempts his springboard bulldog, but slips through the ropes.  He wins with a roll up.  Norman attacked Chavo after the match.

Whoreass vs Chris Benoit

Benoit got a jobber entrance.  Rolling Reich suplexes early on.  Larry suggests if Eric won't do his job, perhaps they should put him on the international shows.  Whoreass suplexes Benoit to the floor and comes back with a suicide dive that sends Benoit spine first into the corner of the guard rail.  Superplex from Benoit.  Diving headbutt.  Not sure if it hit or not.  It looked like it did, but he and the announcers sold it as if he didn't.  Whoreass nails a should breaker, but Benoit locks on the Iron Crossface for the win.

TO THE BACK.  Police say they have a warrant for Goldberg's arrest.  Goldberg says that's bullshit because he only does positive things for the community.  He says no one can arrest him for something he didn't do.  No one explains what it is the warrant is for.  Goldberg just repeats that he's innocent and no one can take him to the station. The police repeat that they have a warrant for his arrest.  Goldberg been arrested!  Kevin Nash almost gets arrested arguing with police over it.  Hulk Hogan happened to be outside and was laughing because he's a politician and appreciates people doing their job.  We see a brief shot of Liz talking to investigators. Don't you have to be told what you're being arrested for? This seems highly illegal. "We have a warrant for your arrest, but we can't tell you what it's for" sounds like some shit said before someone is disappeared. 

Saturn vs Chris Jericho

Jericho gets a slap in the mouth.  Right in the kisser. To the moon.  After much stalling, a belly to belly happens.  Kick combo in the corner.  Jericho comes back with a triangle dropkick.  He does a knee drop off the apron and a snap suplex on the floor as we go to break.  We come back to see Saturn locking on a sleeper and getting suplexed out of it.  Stalling vertical suplex.  Gargoyle suplex.  Jericho misses a spin kick picked up for the the DVD.  He slides out and instead is dropped with a t-bone.  The ref gets pulled in the way of a Saturn springboard.  Lowblow, Lionsault, and Liontamer.  The ref immediately calls for the bell, although it isn't clear what the result is.  Jericho wins!  This is the 4th or 5th time Scott Dickinson has had a questionable finish to a Saturn match.

TO THE POLICE STATION. Goldberg is being booked.  He's been charged with aggravated stalking of Liz. You couldn't tell him that before he was getting booked? 

TO THE NITRO PARTY.  Guys are thumb wrestling.  None of these guys seem to care that Goldberg has been arrested.  In fact, one dude said his favorite part of the show was when Goldberg went to jail.

TO THE BACK.  A detective is talking with Liz.  She claims that Goldberg follows her everywhere she goes.  Such as Monday Nitro and PPV events.

TO THE LWO.  We see the LWO partying with mamacitas and low riders.  Basically, Eddie steals all of the girls.  This is so weird.  It's a full blown mini movie in the vein of the early 90s stuff.  Eddie also takes the best cards and money in poker, and basically just pisses off the whole group.  It was strange. La Parka got that untouchable swag, though. No denying that.

Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs Psychosis/Juventud Guerrera

This is a tornado tag, I believe.  Or maybe not, since they start with just Kidman and Hypnosis in the ring.  Even though Tony said all four would be in the ring at the same time.  And there are tags, so whatever.   Wheelbarrow bulldog is countered into an atomic drop.  Rey gets tagged in and boosts Juvi into a BK Bomb.  Juvi comes back with a springboard dropkick that sends Rey to the floor.  Hypnosis then does a slingshot leg drop to the floor.  Rey tries to fight off both guys, does a tiltawhirl back breaker to Juvi, but is cut off by Hypno.  This match is weird.  The heels seem to be arguing for no reason that I can tell, Rey seemed like he got hurt, the crowd doesn't know what to think, and the announcers aren't talking about the match.  Kidman gets the hot tag.  Double dives from opposite corners.  Doomsday Device.  Juvi Driver!  Kidman breaks up the pin.  He accidentally dropkicks Rey.  Hypnosis hits the guillotine leg drop for the win.

TO THE POLICE STATION.  Goldberg explains that he and Liz are booked on the same shows and same hotels by the office.  Not only that, the gym that Liz frequents, Goldberg owns.  He wants out.

TO THE MEAN GENE.  Kevin Nash comes out to respond to what is going on with Goldberg.  He doesn't consider his win over Goldberg legitimate.  He knows that Hogan is behind these charges.  He pleads with Flair to give him a match with Hogan tonight.  Flair comes out and agrees to the match.

TO THE BACK.  Liz is still being interviewed.  She's starting to crack under the pressure.  She claims she was at the Coke machine getting a Diet Pepsi.  LIAR.  A real detective would have picked up on that immediately. 

TO THE MEAN BROTHERJACKDUDE.  Hollywood Hogan makes his first appearance after announcing his retirement on Thanksgiving night.  The wrestling world still revolves around Hogan.  He was going to announce his running mate tonight, but the negative momentum of this night and the sexual deviant Goldberg just makes him sick.  He agrees to the match with Nash as one last retirement match.

EARLIER TODAY.  Jericho was talking to Scott Dickinson and convincing him that Saturn should be disqualified if he touched Dickinson.

Scott Steiner vs Konnan WCW TV Championship

No on can censor him.  He's out of his mind and he loves it.  Buff does Da Dirty Bird dance, but stops because he's just recovering from heart surgery.  I don't know if that was a reference to Flair or some local sports guy or what.  A new year isn't going to convince me to watch Konnan matches.  Buff caused the match to get thrown out.  They both beat the shit out of Konnan after the match.

Wrath vs Bam Bam Bigelow

Bischoff finally speaks up to say that Goldberg is jailbait.  I also think of Goldberg as a hot 16 year old. Who is going to try to fuck Goldberg in jail?  Wrath got some promo time, saying he's been on a roll for 6 months and is tired of having no competition.  Bam Bam came out.  Down goes Bam Bam!  It goes to the floor.  Wrath goes into the ring post.  Wrath backs Bam Bam into the corner and unleashes a series of kicks.  Bam Bam catches one, throws him down, and headbutts Wrath in the dick.  Back to the floor.  They've been on the floor for a good minute and a half.  This should be a double count out.  Bammer gets a chair.  He was going to powerbomb Wrath on it, but the ref moved it and he got back dropped.  Back to the floor again.  Fans are getting restless with this shit.  Ref gets bumped and the match is finally thrown out, despite them having spend a solid 60% of the match on the floor with no count outs.  They continue to brawl to the back.

TO THE BACK.  More interrogation with Liz.  She's mixing up her stories.  Oh shit, one of the detectives brings up the Coke/Pepsi mix up!  They have cracked the story and say she will be charged with false informing.  It was all a misunderstanding.  It wasn't Goldberg at all.  There are so many bald headed wrestlers running around that she got confused.

Brian Adams vs DDP

A new year will also not trick me into watching Crush matches.  DDP won with a diving Kanyon Cutter that didn't look good at all.  BANG!

TO THE POLICE STATION.  Goldberg is headbutting the wall and instead of the police being worried about him injuring himself, they want him to stop so he won't dent the wall.  They've figured out Liz was making things up and let him go back to the Georgia Dome, which is conveniently right across the street.

Hollywood Hogan vs Kevin Nash WCW Championship

Steiner came out with Hogan.  Scott Hall came out with Nash. Nash also had the most ridiculous god damn pyro I've ever seen. It went on for over a minute. WCW probably spent $50K or more just on that. Just ludicrous. It's so big that even shrunk down considerably, it's still TOO BIG TO POST ON SQUARESPACE. So you can see it here.  Nash shoves Hogan in the corner.  Hulk focuses all of the power of Hulkamania into his finger and down goes Nash.  NEW CHAMPION!  Goldberg arrives too late.  All four men celebrate in the ring.  Goldberg runs to the ring and takes all four out.  As he's about to jackhammer Hogan, Lex Luger attacked him.  SWERVES EVERYWHERE.  Goldberg is tased and spray painted while Bischoff makes the most annoying fucking sound possible the entire time.  The title also gets spray painted, this time in red.

Boy, I'm sure that selling 40,000 tickets with one match being announced, only to not have the match at all, and then have the replacement match be a SWERVE was really endearing to those fans.  The official count was 34,788 paid for the show.  When they would run the Georgia Dome again in July (and for the last time), attendance would be 19,456 paid.  I'm sure this show had nothing to do with a 15,000 paid customer drop off only 7 months later.  And I'm sure they enjoyed going to a giant dome show and having at least 40% of the show be interviews and backstage segments with people who have never done backstage segments.

Make sure to get your WCW Mastercard TODAY!