WCW Thunder 12/16/99
The penultimate Thunder and go home show for Starrcade.
Sid and Benoit come to the ring. Lol, Benoit again mentions the WWF's Greatest Matches tape. He doesn't need to get it, because he's been a fan his whole life and had already seen the match. They originally called out The Outsiders. Instead, Russo's goons came out and said Sid and Benoit would face each other tonight. Also, Bret/Goldberg vs The Outsiders in a House of Pain title return match. In addition, Duggan/Midnight vs The Revolution, David Flair vs Norman for the title, DDP vs Kanyon, and Vamp vs Buff. Thunder is special again, guys!
TO THE BACK. Sting attacks DDP. DDP then looks for Sting.
Vampiro vs Buff Bagwell
Juvi and Oklahoma join for color. Scott Hudson is the official new color man. Aaron Neville is in the crowd. THUNDER IS SPECIAL AGAIN, GUYS! Vamp went after OK. Dr. Death came out and was attacked by the Misfits. OK hit Vamp in the taint with his BBQ bottle. Buff wins with the Blockbuster. Doc did a tiger bomb on the floor. OK poured BBQ sauce all over Vamp.
TO THE BACK. Evan heads to the ring with Spice. Elsewhere, DDP is still looking for Sting. Elsewhere elsewhere, Gene talks with Prince and Paisley. Prince now won't speak.
Evan Karagias vs TAFKAPI
Juvi says this is the jabroni match of the week. He's not wrong. Madusa came out to fight with Spice. She also got into a fight with Paisley. 3 way cat fight! In the middle of this, Evan was rolled up. Madusa slapped him after the match. Just like last month, a champion loses to someone he's not even feuding with on the go home show of a PPV.
TO THE BACK. Sting and DDP brawl. Another Sting was there, who had his wigged ripped of to reveal Lex Luger. DDP chased Luger away.
The Revolution vs Jim Duggan/Midnight
Shane didn't even get to talk. More man vs woman shit that Russo gets such a boner for. Harlem Heat came out to ringside. Midnight got sent to the floor. Stevie threw her back in and argued with Booker. Duggan dodged Saturn, who knocked Asya out of the ring. Shane came in and accidentally hit Saturn. Then Dean came in with the 2x4, Duggan took it, hit Saturn, and won. Christ. It's like 5 finishes in a row. Duggan then got a beat down after the match. He was wearing Apollo Creed shorts under his work suit. Aaron Neville made the save. What?
TO THE BACK. Gene tried to talk to David. Elsewhere, Bret prepares for his match. Elsewhere elsewhere, Sting is now looking for Lex.
Norman Smiley vs David Flair WCW Hardcore Championship
David rolls around on trash cans. Big Wiggle! David did the running man behind him and ended the dance with a trash can shot. Meng came out. Norman ran away and threw David's teddy bear at Meng. Meng ate it. I guess count out was the official result.
TO THE BACK. Sting still looks for Lex. Elsewhere, Norman runs away.
Sting comes to the ring. Juvi tries to sing the riff to Seek and Destroy. Sting calls Lex out. Lex tried to sneak in, still dressed as Sting. They have a little match. Liz came out. Sting put Lex in the Torture Rack. As he turned, Lex's feet hit Liz. Lex then beat on Sting with a bat.
TO THE BACK. Sting is checked on by EMTs and wants Lex. Elsewhere, Lex leaves in his car.
Dr. Death vs The Wall
No more Steve Williams. Just Dr. Death. I thought Wall and Berlyn had split up, but apparently not. OK is back out and Chavo is selling shit to fans. Berlyn caused a DQ. Wall didn't like it. He punches Berlyn. Doc then knocked Wall out of the ring.
TO THE BACK. Dustin Rhodes is looking for someone.
EARLIER TODAY. Buzzkill had fans sign a petition for anti-nuclear proliferation.
TO THE BACK. Goldberg tapes up.
Curt Hennig vs Dustin Rhodes
Dustin is mad that Jeff called his daddy a fat ass. Well, Dusty is and has always been a fat ass. Virgil got the Shattered Dreams. During the match, Seven flies to the ring. It was Jeff Jarrett. He hit Dustin with a guitar.
TO THE BACK. Gene talks to Seven Jarrett. More hornyacker talk. What does that word even mean and why does Russo like it so much? Elsewhere, a white limo arrives. It'd Piper and his young boy. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?! And why did Piper need a young boy to do all of his chores for him? That always seemed really creepy to me. Do you think the young boy had to play with Piper's bag pipe?
Chris Benoit/Sid vs Creative Control/Shane/Curt Hennig/La Parka
Virgil got powerbombed. Parka got chokeslammed. Another DQ as one of the Harris Bros hit Benoit with a ladder. The beat down continued after the match.
TO THE BACK. Gene talks to Piper. At least Piper is actually talking to another person this time.
Chris "Champag Ne" Kanyon vs DDP
CCK vs DDP. WHAT IF CCK was short for cock? J. Biggs runs Hudson off and joins on color. DDP does all of his spots. Kanyon Cutter! BANG! David Flair came out and hit DDP with a crowbar. Kanyon wins! Bam Bam came out to argue. Kanyon hit him with a bottle of champag Ne.
TO THE BACK. Piper attacks Creative Control. Elsewhere, Bret heads to the ring. I heard the director yell, "cut". Elsewhere, Nash heads into his locker room to get Hall. After a break, Gene is outside of The Outsider's locker room. Scott Hall has been attacked.
Goldberg/Bret Hart vs The Outsiders WCW Tag Team Championships House of Pain Match Special Guest Referee: Roddy Piper
Creative Control and JJ attacked Piper before Goldberg came out. Once Bill makes it down, he sends the heels away and rips the cage door off. Piper attacks Nash with a pipe. Jeff Jarrett comes back and hits Piper with a guitar. He also hits Goldberg with one, who no sells it and spears him. Nash recovers and hits Goldberg with a pipe. Bret is cuffed to the cage. So is Goldberg. I guess that means titles retained. Piper is also cuffed. Nash and Jeff takes some parting shots and leave. Goldberg broke the cuffs, busting himself open in the process. JOIN US FOR STARRCADE, PLEASE. PLEASE. I MEAN IT. COULD YOU PLEASE BUY OUR PPV THIS MONTH?
DQ Count: Idk. Like 30.
Announced card for Starrcade:
Bret Hart vs Goldberg WCW Championship No Disqualification
Chris Benoit vs Scott Hall WCW US Championship Ladder Match
Kevin Nash vs Sid Powerbomb Match
Sting vs The Total Package
Jeff Jarrett vs Dustin Rhodes Bunkhouse Brawl
DDP vs David Flair Crowbar on a Pole Match
Vampiro vs Dr. Death
The Revolution vs Jim Duggan/Mystery Partners
Norman Smiley vs Meng WCW Hardcore Championship
Madusa vs Evan Karagias WCW Cruiserweight Championship
The Mamalukes vs Disco Inferno/Lash LeRoux
There might be one more because they said there would be 12 matches.