WCW Thunder 12/9/99
This is the first Thunder after Russo said it sucked and that stars would be appearing on it again.
The Outsiders come to the ring, looking pissed that they have to be on Thunder. Hall sits on his ladder and tells Benoit to head to Blockbuster to get a WWF's Greatest Matches video and watch his ladder match with HBK. That's right, Hall just promoted a WWF tape without any kind of joke or burying. He just outright promoted the WWF. Nash talks about Sid and how things aren't a video game. This brings Sid out, saying he's tired of Nash's politics. "At Starrcade, you are going to find out who is the man." "Why's that? Is Vader booked?" "No, wise ass, not Vader." Sid hits the ring and lays Nash out. He shoves Hall off the ladder. They Outsiders end up getting the advantage. Dustin Rhodes runs out to prevent a jackknife. Jarrett then comes out and hits Dustin with a guitar. Then Benoit runs out and is also disposed of.
Tenay is calling the match on his own. Evan Karagias vs Rhonda Singh for the title, and Bret/Goldberg vs Creative Control for the titles. Madusa comes out, calls Rhonda fat and says she's the only one getting a title shot. Also, DDP vs Sting and Lex vs Buff. Juvi and Psychosis come to ringside. Juvi is filling Larry's position. Mike Tenay is such a fucking nerd.
TO THE BACK. Goldberg arrives. Elsewhere, Bret laces his boots.
TO THE BACK. Sid, Goldy, and Benoit head to TPTB's office.
Dean Malenko vs Booker T.
Juvi buries the shit out of the Revolution, Shane in particular. Duggan challenged them to a 6 man tag for Starrcade. If the Duggan wins, the Revolution has to be WCW's janitors for a month. If Duggan loses, he has to renounces his citizenship. Shane joins for color. Shane knocked Book out with his cast. Dean wins with the Cloverleaf. Duggan came out. Juvi marked out.
TO THE BACK. Sid/Goldy/Benoit are fighting with Creative Control, Virgil, and La Parka.
TO THE POWERS THAT BE. They enter the office and demand a match against Jarrett/Outsiders.
TAFKAPI vs Vampiro
Juvi laughs at Prince for how stupid he looks and says he doesn't want to see the guy work. "Another jabroni. I hate this guy." OK comes out and also joins color.
TO THE BACK. Piper arrives in his limo. BUT WHO WAS LIMO?!?!
Oklahoma hits on Paisley. She slaps him. Vamp wins with a super kick. Price beat beat up OK until Dr. Death ran in for a save.
TO THE POWERS THAT BE. Dr. Claw Russo fires Mona because there is only room for 1 female wrestler in WCW. Rhonda Sing then walks in says she's going to be the first female Cruiserweight champion.
TO THE BACK. Nick Patrick and Roddy Piper talk. There is a new memo that said ref decisions are final. Elsewhere, Saturn and Stevie Ray are still brawling. Elsewhere elsewhere, Gene talks to Bret and Goldberg. Creative Control are next.
Evan Karagias vs Rhonda Singh WCW Cruiserweight Championship
Wait, Madusa wrestles the match instead. Whatever. The title doesn't matter anymore. It's already been killed. Madusa won with a roll up. Rhonda starts a striptease when the lights go out. Someone ran out and attacked her during it. I swear the fans were chanting "You fat whore" after the match.
TO THE BACK. Gene talks to David Flair. Flynn challenged him to a match in The Block tonight. Elsewhere, Piper talks to himself. Elsewhere elsewhere, Stevie and Saturn are still fighting.
TO THE BLOCK. Flynn vs David. Buzzkill happened to be down there. Flynn immediately chokes David out. Then Tank Abbott walks in and punches Flynn. Remember when Tank showed up for 2 shows in April or May, seemed to form an alliance with Rick Steiner, and knocked out Sting? Then not a god damn thing happened until December. He wasn't on TV, wasn't mentioned on TV. He made his return in a boiler room.
TO THE BACK. Creative Control head to the ring with Slick Johnson. Elsewhere, Bret also makes his way to the arena.
Creative Control vs Goldberg/Bret Hart WCW Tag Team Championships
Slick was being a partial ref. Roddy Piper comes out and argues with him. He slaps him and is now the ref. Spears. Sharpshooter and Jackhammer. New champions!
TO THE POWERS TO BE. Dr. Claw tells Curt to get Piper. Curt tells Virgil. Virgil tells La Parka.
Saturn vs Stevie Ray
They brawled back to ringside and there just happened to be a ref in the ring, so we have a match. Saturn low blowed the ref for no reason. Creative Control came back out and attacked Stevie. Saturn pins him with his feet on the ropes. CC continue to beat up Stevie until Booker hits the ring.
TO THE POWERS THAT BE. Russo is pissed at Piper. Piper says referee decisions are final. Piper rips La Parka's suit. Russo basically says he's going to end Piper's career.
TO THE BACK. Gene talks with Sting and Liz. Sting gives Liz his stamp of approval.
The Total Package vs Buff Bagwell
DDP joins for color. He says he's going to shoot his own angle. He and Buff get into a fight that as to be separated by security and wrestlers.
TO THE POWERS THAT BE. Russo asks Duggan about who told him he could wrassle again. Duggan says this is about America and he believes in people.
Jim Duggan vs Asya
Duggan is immediately attacked by all of Russo's guys. The Revolution come out with apple pies and hot dogs. Duggan has pie and mustard all over him. Saturn eats a pie. Harlem Heat run out with 2x4s to save the day.
TO THE BACK. Gene talks with Benoit/Sid/Dustin. They're going to kill or something.
DDP vs Sting
Ref bump in about 40 seconds. Lex comes in and lays Sting out. DDP hits a Kanyon Cutter. BANG! Man, 2 minutes. Sting has lost a lot and in short matches lately.
Sid/Chris Benoit/Dustin Rhodes vs The Outsiders/Jeff Jarrett
Big shocker here, but they had a super short match and Jeff hit Sid with a guitar. Nash made the pin.
DQ Count: Fuck it.
All the stars were there, but it was still Thunder. The lack of top talent isn't what made Thunder suck. It has always been short, meaningless matches that made people not give a shit about Thunder. Russo's big plan to make Thunder important again was to keep having those short, meaningless matches, but with main eventers. It's still Thunder and it still sucks.