WCW Thunder 12/2/99

Norman Smiley vs The Wall WCW Hardcore Championship

Berlyn joined the announce team. Norman is in Taekwondo gear tonight. Berlyn tried to hit Norman with the title. He hit Wall. Title retained.

TO THE BACK. Lex Luger heads to the production truck. Do they always have a camera man inside the truck just in case? He wanted the tape rewound to see if Tenay really said he had to face Sid tonight. Elsewhere, Silver King challenges Dr. Death and wants his $10K check back. Elsewhere elsewhere, Gene talks to Kaz about his match with Maestro. JYD voice and all.

The Maestro vs Kaz Hayashi

Stro is already one of my least favorite dudes and he's only really been around for a month or two. That show where he played piano in EVERY backstage segment all night was brutal. Tenay is having a meeting with TPTB tomorrow to get Jarrett suspended and fined for hitting him with a guitar. Non one cares about Tenay's bird face getting hit with a guitar. David Flair comes out. Ref bump. He accidentally hit Kaz. Stro ran off. Kaz wins via count out.

TO THE BACK. Lash and Disco arrive. The Mamalukes were close behind. Elsewhere, Chavo's phone rings and he's selling shit. Elsewhere elsewhere, Terry Taylor holds Lex's bag for him. Lex then gets bags from Jimmy Hart and attempts to leave. His tires were all flat.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs Buzzkill

Buzzkill has the New Age Outlaws rip off music and even does Road Dogg's entrance. Chavo has a suitcase full of tie dye and hippy stuff to sell to him. He's got this lava lamp thing that didn't work, but Buzzkill sold it like it was working. After Chavo tries to steal a while while Buzzkill is listening to music, Buzzkill hits him with the briefcase and wins. He paid Chavo for the lamp.

TO THE BACK. Gene talks to Chris Benoit about his match with JUSHIN LIGER! Man, I'm both pumped and scared. Elsewhere, Meng enters his locker room. Disco and Lash switched his sign for their names, so the Mamalukes would get confused. Elsewhere elsewhere, we spy on Evan and Madusa. She's still saying she'll fuck him for a title shot.

Nitro recap.

TO THE BACK. Lex regains his confidence. Elsewhere, Gene talks to Sid about his powerbomb match at Starrcade with Nash. Sid was playing with a Lex Luger action figure during the interview. Lex saw it and calls for a cab. Elsewhere elsewhere, Dr. Death and Oklahoma head to the ring. Elsewhere elsewhere elsewhere, The Mamalukes are mean to some security guards. The lock one in a walk in refrigerator.

Steve Williams vs Silver King/Villano IV/Villano V

Larry wouldn't do the match with OK. Oklahoma is claiming his BBQ fixed his face. Vamp came out and beat up OK. Doc pinned a Villano, but Silver King ran off with the check.

TO THE BACK. Lex tries to sneak out. While talking to The Mamalukes, Silver King dives into his waiting cab. Elsewhere, Benoit and Liger head to the ring. Elsewhere elsewhere, The Mamalukes find Disco/Lash's locker room. They're going to wait for them to come out.


Jushin Liger vs Chris Benoit

Liger actually got an entrance this time. Juvi, La Parka, and Psicosis came out before the match. Juvi joins for color. Juvi is doing Rock's lines. He definitely called Liger a monkey. They have a standard exchange of reversals with no one getting the upper hand until Benoit runs into a koppo kick. Nash vs Benoit is signed for Nitro as is Hall vs Benoit in a ladder match at Starrcade. Benoit is sent to the floor. Liger hits a crossbody from the top. Romero Special back in the ring. Brainbustaaah. Benoit tosses off a tornado DDT and they do a double clothesline. Snap suplex is followed by a back suplex. Liger got his foot on the ropes. Northern lariatoo. Huge superplex from Liger, with Benoit landing on his hip. La Parka and Hypno hit the ring and cause a DQ. Benoit and Liger fight them off.


TO THE BACK. Gene talks to Buff. Buff has a match with Meng tonight. Buff is the roadblock, not the speed bump. Elsewhere, The Mamalukes are still waiting for Lash and Disco. They argue and enter the locker room, only to find Meng. Meng beat them up. Elsewhere elsewhere, Lex is on the phone with I assume Terry Taylor, but there was no audio in the segment. Instead, we heard Buff's entrance theme the whole time.

Buff Bagwell vs Meng

They have a boring match. The Mamalukes came out. There was also a ref bump. The audio is a solid 50 seconds out of synch. Meng still won with the Tongan Death Grip.

TO THE BACK. Gene talks to Mona about a mixed tag match with Jarrett vs Evan/Madusa. Gene was staring at her tits. Jeff is going after Dustin Rhodes and Goldberg on Nitro. Elsewhere, Lex is stewing. Elsewhere elsewhere, The Mamalukes sell their beat down.

Jeff Jarrett/Mona vs Evan Karagias/Madusa

Russo's obsession for men face women is weird. Jeff never got involved and Evan pinned Mona with a twisting splash. Jeff hit her with the guitar after the match.

Bret Hart WCW retrospective.

TO THE BACK. Gene talks with the Revolution. They're a nation now. Can four people just decide they are a country? Saturn got muted and then the audio dropped out for quite a while. Elsewhere, Sid is getting pumped up. Elsewhere elsewhere, Lex is on the phone trying to get out of the match again. If he wins, he'll get a title shot on Nitro. Elsewhere elsewhere elsewhere, Disco and Lash talk with Gene. Lash says some stupid shit that I couldn't understand. Disco told him not to do the punch and dance move, because that's his gimmick.

Disco Inferno/Lash LeRoux vs The Revolution

The Revolution said some weird anti-American stuff and made fun of Italians. This brought out The Mamalukes. They attacked the Revolution. The match finally starts after security removes the Mamalukes. Shane is freaking out about the Constitution and being generally a cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk........roach. Dean won with the Cloverleaf.

TO THE BACK. Sid and Lex head to the ring.

Bret Hart comes out. He's going to do color because every match has to have a guest commentator.

The Total Package vs Sid

Lex tried to spray Sid with pepper spray. Liz came out and tried to spray Lex. Lex took from her and got to spray Sid. Sid powerbombed the ref. When you can't see, you can't feel the difference between a 300 pound man in trunks and a 160 pound fully clothed man. A second ref came in and counted a pin for Lex. Sid recovered and powerbombed Lex after the match.


DQ Count: I don't give a shit anymore.