WCW Thunder 11/4/99

Evan Karagias vs Juventud Guerrera

This is the 3rd time they've tried to have this match, with Bret Hart and Sid interrupting the first 2 tries. I hope someone else interrupts. Anyone. Mongo would be pretty boss. Even better, Norman Smiley came out to talk! He convinced WCW to bring back the hardcore division because he's tough as nails. And everyone in WCW can expect a hardcore wiggle. Juvi and Evan attack him, but dropkick each other in the balls, so Norman dances! This turned out much better than expected.


TO THE BACK. The Revolution discuss possibly adding a new member. Elsewhere, Sid is walking around when Mike Graham informs him that the bosses have changed the booking and Sid will now team with Saturn against Rick Steiner and someone. Sid isn't happy about facing his buddy.

Booker T. vs Kaz Hayashi

Book easily wins. Stevie interfered, ref saw it, Booker tried to distract the ref, but the ref didn't give a fuck.

TO THE BACK. Doug Dillinger tries to figure out a lap top when the Filthy Animals distract him so Konnan can steal his wallet. Elsewhere, Gene talks to Rick Steiner about his tag match against Sid. He isn't worried about it and Sid/Rick will be the last ones standing.

A Saturday Night promo airs. Chuck Palumbo, Mark Jindrak, Johnny The Bull, Elix Skipper, Mike Sanders, and Devon Storm (Crowbar) will all be on the show.

Eddie Guerrero vs Coach Buzz Stern

Luther Biggs kind of reminds me of Jonah Hill. At least Glacier is in better shape as Coach Stern. Kidman and Konnan steal the game plan folder from Luther. Then attack Glacier on the floor. Because they are the worst fucking faces ever. BK Bomb and frog splash for the win. Then they beat up Luther and stole their shirts for some reason.

TO THE BACK. Gene talks to Berlyn and Curly Bill, who will have a tag title shot tonight. What the fuck. Russo, you so crazy. Elsewhere, Rick Steiner tells Benoit he has a long night ahead. Benoit is Steiner's partner tonight.

Title tournament recap.

TO THE BACK. Sid talks with the Revolution. No one wants this match. Elsewhere, Gene talks to La Parka about his upcoming match with Buff. La Parka waxes poetically (in subtitles) about how he picked his outfit because he loved He-Man, and more specifically, Skeletor. And by thanks to the power of Castle Grayskull, HE HAS THE POWER to defeat Buff tonight.


Buff Bagwell vs La Parka

Buff again comes out all pissy, which must mean he was booked to lose. You can't have an angle where one guy openly acknowledges everything is fake and actually show guys discussing finishes, but then expect anything else to be taken seriously. You can't have a "This is real, everything else is fake" and have it be self contained to that one angle. It permeates to every angle and shatters the disbelief for everything. You can do shooty while keeping it in the confines of kayfabe and suspension disbelief. You can really push the boundaries while staying in them. You can't do shooty angles where guys openly say they won't job to anyone, hate their booking, and have guys talk in the back about having their finish given to them by the writers. So what you have now you have an angle where a guy is SHOOT winning worked matches to get back at the writers who don't like him so are booking him to lose. It's stupid. Buff wins.

TO THE BACK. Gene talks with the Animals about their title defense. Shockingly, they didn't steal anything from Gene.

The Filthy Animals vs Curly Bill/Berlyn WCW Tag Team Championships

Curly Bill is still doing the Rednecks gimmick, but none of the other members of the group are. Hennig definitely dropped it, Bobby Duncum is out injured, and the Windhams have vanished. Yet, Virgil is still doing the gimmick and coming out to the music. Berlyn turns on Virgil when Virgil was on the verge of winning. Berlyn could have won a title, but he SWERVED his partner because he may or may not be a Neo Nazi dude who probably likes candle wax poured on his nipples. Titles retained.

TO THE BACK. Gene talks with Lash about the respect that Disco has shown him. Lash shits all over Disco, even though Disco has done nothing but be nice to him and put him over. Elsewhere (after a break), Gene talked to Hammer, who is rumored to be the next member of the Revolution. He claims the rumor is true.

Lash LeRoux vs Silver King

Lash won. It sucked, because Lash just isn't that good.

TO THE BACK. Gene talks to Benoit about the random ass tag team main event. He doesn't give a shit. Elsewhere, the Revolution head to the ring.

Dean Malenko vs Van Hammer

Hammer for some reason shit talked the Revolution as a way to get them to like him or something. I don't know. He lost to the Cloverleaf. Hammer got a beat down after the match.

We're shown a highlight package of all the things TPTB have done to fuck with people since coming to WCW.

8 Man Battle Royal

It's a jobber battle royal with the winner getting a "golden opportunity" on Nitro. The remaining 7 will need to start looking into job opportunities up North. El Dandy, Regal, Dave Taylor, Chavo, Jerry Flynn, Chris Adams, Prince, and Jerry Flynn. Chavo won.

TO THE BACK. Rick Steiner and Sid are talking. They can't decide which one is going to take the Finger Poke of Doom.

Sid/Saturn vs Chris Benoit/Rick Steiner

I wonder how much you need to eat to be a guy of Sid's size with his kind of musculature, striations, and power. Rick took the FPOD. He then tried to roll Sid up, just like Scott Hall did on Nitro. So Sid powerbombs him and walks off. When Rick recovers, he lays out Benoit and Saturn and leaves. Benoit and Saturn have a singles match for about 3 minutes. Benoit hit the diving headbutt. Malenko hit the ring to cause a DQ. Then the Filthy Animals ran out and WE'RE OUTTA TIME!

DQ Count: 2 out of 9 matches.

Two random ass tag matches. Two tag matches with tag partners turning on each other. At least Russo is consistent.