WCW Thunder 9/2/99

Entering the final quarter of the year and project, so I'm pretty excited about that.

Recap of the Sting/Lex/Hogan stuff from Nitro. Then we get to see the original Hummer attack once again. The back to more Sting/Lex/Hogan recaps.

DDP comes to the ring. Fucking terrible way to start the show. He has Goldberg at Fall Brawl and was going to call him out tonight. "But when I looked around this dump, I thought to myself, 'what a dump.'" Shit. He has Al Greene playing the role of Goldberg tonight. YO MAMA jokes.

DDP vs Al Greene

I really can't believe that the Triad are basically the default top heels and their main way of heeling is YO MAMA jokes. DDP wins with a Kanyon Cutter. BANG!

Also added to Fall Brawl is Knobs/Hugh vs Dean/Douglas. See what I did there?

Dave Taylor vs Shane Douglas

Shane won very quickly with the Pittsburgh Plunge, even though he was pinning himself. Chris Adams attacked, then Benoit ran in, then the First Family hit the ring, followed by Saturn and Dean. All heels were disposed of. Shane Douglas absolutely shouldn't be a face. He makes the Fall Brawl tag a no DQ match and says he will bash someone's skull in.

Berlyn video. This guy wrestled in WCW for 5 years and no one recognizes him? Especially after he spoke?

Kaz Hayashi vs El Dandy

WCW and their random ass booking. Wouldn't it have made sense to have El Dandy/Silver King/La Parka/Villanos on the show the last 2 weeks when they were in Texas? Instead, they booked one lucha match for both shows. Kaz won, but Sid came out AFTER the match to lay both guys out and cut a promo on Goldberg. This is basically the Goldberg/Jericho feud, with Sid doing all the work and Goldberg not even acknowledging his opponent.

Berlyn video.

Lenny vs Kidman WCW Cruiserweight Championship

Kidman finally gets the title shot he earned 4 months ago. Lenny is getting more over the top with his gay trolling every week. Gay cheap heat is just the worst, unless it is Goldust doing it. It's kind of weird to think that just a little over 10 years ago, it was totally fine to have obnoxious gay stereotypes and have them be bad guys just because they're gay. Ref bump. Lodi came in and hit a DDT. Kidman still kicked out. YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN! Lodi then caused a DQ moments later. Rey ran in to make sure no humping happened.

The Revolution came to the ring. Benoit is sick of Sid. It's really hard to take any of Saturn's promos seriously with those eyes. He should wear sunglasses or something.

TO THE COACH. A new segment from Coach Buzz Glacier Stern. Luther Biggs is the first ever inductee into the Buzz Stern Winner's Club. He's just some fat dude who keeps tripping and falling. The only thing of note about him is that he went by "Big Sexy" in 1996 on the B and C shows and it seems that Nash stole his nickname from him.

Disorderly Conduct vs Harlem Heat

Booker debuted the Book End in this match, but it wasn't anything close to a finisher. At least HH are finally wearing the same colors. They just happen to be black and white, which doesn't make a lot of sense to me since Booker wanted Stevie to get rid of the black and white colors. Heat easily won. The Rednecks hit the ring shortly after, but were fought off. They'll have a rematch at Fall Brawl for the tag titles.


Scotty Riggs vs TAFKATAFKAPI

Fucking jobber matches. Christ. WCW actually had competition on Thursday nights now and this is the kind of shit card they put up against the ultra hot WWF. Maybe they figured there was no use in trying since they were going to get crushed anyway. Riggs easily wins in a very quick match.

Cat-Bo video.


Cat vs Goldberg

Cat called Goldberg out and sent Sonny away. He also threatened to shove the mic up Bill's ass so the crowd could literally hear Cat kick his ass. This was a return to the 2 move squash Goldberg of 1998.

Sid vs Saturn

Our main event for the night. I feel like this really puts Saturn at a much lower level than Benoit, but whatever. Benoit is obviously the best guy of the group and most likely one to get the main event push. They have a short nothing match that Rick Steiner interrupts to cause a DQ. Stinko Malenko made a save before there was a double team powerbomb. WE'RE OUTTA TIME!

DQ Count: 2 out of 8 matches.

Damn, booze really hit me around the Harlem Heat match. Whatever. It's Thunder. Who gives a shit? Not I. If there is something positive I can say about WCW right now, it is that they have most of the next PPV already booked weeks out. That's not to say it is an interesting card at all, but at least they are trying.