WCW Thunder 7/22/99
It's Thunder, so fuck off. Sting is allegedly in control of WCW. I find a few reasons to question that decision. First, Sting attacked the referee at the start of the match. He should have been disqualified from the start. Second, Eric Bischoff made the decision to ring the bell, when it had been established at GAB that he didn't have the authority to do so.
Van Hammer vs Kaz Hayashi
It's definitely Thunder. Hammer wins in a fairly competitive match, which is weird since Hammer is twice the size of Kaz and is coming off a PPV title match. Kaz has dropped his Glacier gear.
TO THE BACK. Lenny and Lodi are freaking out about another meeting they have to have.
Recap of Madusa and Molly Holly fighting on Nitro. This led into Dennis Rodman and Arliss on Nitro.
Brandi Alexander vs Miss Madness
WCW is really going to try broad wrasslin again? They did it even shittier than the WWF did in the 90s. At least Molly was hot. It was a real match. The only thing I've heard Molly say about her time in WCW was that Randy Savage paid for everything while she was there. She won with a Northern lights suplex.
The West Texas Rednecks come out to the ring and they are heated. Well, Hennig calls them the West Texas Outlaws. Curt is sick of Goldberg because of his new terrible theme song. I guess metal is crap as well, but it doesn't quite have the same ring to it. For some reason, Goldberg's name was muted every time he said it. Unless he was saying "Goldturd" (which he has before), that was pretty odd.
Curt Hennig vs Chase Tatum
I thought this angle was dead, but they picked it back up 2 weeks later. It sucks. Chase Tatum sucks. The ref misses SWOLL get in the ring right beside him. He accidentally did his kung fu move on Chase. Perfect Plex for the win.
TO THE BACK. Lenny and Lodi hide from Sid. Jimmy Hart tells them they're going to need a doctor at ringside for their match.
Recap of the Triad telling YO MAMA jokes about the Harlem Heat's mother, Mrs. Heat.
Juventud Guerrera/Psychosis vs Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr.
A little weird for Eddie and Rey to be tag partners already, but whatever. You'd expect this to be at least interesting, or have a few good spots. But then you remember that it's Thunder. Eddie and Rey had some miscommunications near the end of the match, but ended up winning when Eddie popped Rey up for a super rana on Hypnosis.
TO THE ARLISS. We get to see some clips of WCW stars like Randy Savage and Lex Luger on Arliss.
Randy Savage, George, and Molly come to the ring. He's talking about running for president again. He then goes in on Rodman. He challenges Rodman. Madusa has been fired. He then fires Miss Madness. He grabs her by the face and tells her to get on her knees to beg for her job.
Rick Steiner vs Sick Boy WCW TV Championship
Rick also calls Goldberg out. He talked about how he and Big Papa Pump do whatever they want. Scott hasn't been on TV for about 2 months now. Total squash.
Recap of Nash beating up Horace and the confrontation with Hulk right after that. Then the end of Nitro with the 6 man brawl.
Kevin Nash called into the show and challenged Hogan to a tag match on Nitro. The only hint he would give to his partner is that he's known the guy for 9 years and that he's a good buddy.
Recap of Bischoff being powerbombed on Nitro.
Sid vs Lenny/Lodi
Sid nearly killed Lenny with a cobra clutch slam. He pinned the gay brothers while they were in 69 position.
Dean Malenko vs Ric FlairStandard Flair formula match. Ric tried to bail when Saturn and Benoit wouldn't let him. Bam Bam and Kanyon ambushed them. Dean again drilled Asya. DDP came out and attempted a Kanyon Cutter, but was shoved off into Asya. Flair won with a roll up.
DQ Count: 0 out of 7 matches.
Fuck off. I'm not spending time or effort on Thunder.